Go forth

It has been a week. Everything is very overwhelming right now.

But...like Diana Ross says, there is "ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough" to keep you from your destination.

Question is...do you know where you're going to?

Clearly Diana Ross is messing with my head today.

Stop. In the name of love!

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Something begins when something else dies

Life has a funny way of helping you out.

It was supposed to be my last weekend as a drifter and as I was drifting in and out of sleep on a clear and sunny Saturday afternoon - a rare case in the recent bout of hazy weather - I received a call from my cousin.

Queen E had passed on around 1530hrs. The mother and I stood in the living room for a while. We had planned to visit her around 1500hrs but at around 1430hrs, the father, who was on his way home from his morning work shift, told us to wait for him so that we could go together. Alas, it was not meant to be.

The father got home around 1600hrs, grabbed some batik cloths and towels and ran out of the door, heading to the hospital. The mother and I followed suit around 30 minutes later and reached the hospital around 1700hrs. Surreal to see Queen E lying there motionless.

The casket only came around 1830hrs and we all headed to my aunt's place at Tampines. There, the wake/vigil took place. Helped around with some preparations and my family returned home at around 0300hrs this morning for a quick rest and shower. By 0700hrs we were back at Tampines.





Flowers for Grandma

The funeral kickstarted around 0800hrs with the arrival of the funeral officers. The lady in-charge of cleaning Queen E's body signalled the start of the process and some female relatives, including the mother, the sister and myself, headed to the kitchen to assist her in preparing the body for the burial.

It was my second time participating in such preparation. The first was in Dec 2009 when my beloved Bibik passed away. Then, my role was more of an observer. This time round, I was more involved. More contact, you can say.

By 1030hrs, we were ready to leave for the cemetery. The mood was a mixture of sombre and relief. Sombre because..duh..death, relief because Queen E has gone to a better place. Insya-Allah, of course.

The brother and the cousin helping out with the burial.

By 1300hrs, everything was all done and dusted. Relieved that everything went on smoothly and that the weather too had been kind. The solidarity and love felt among relatives and friends were truly felt and I am thankful to my friends who reached out and gave comfort in this time of distress. May God return your kindness and see that you are well. Appreciate it.

Dear Nenek, Hajjah Neng Bte Ja'afar, may you have a smooth journey wherever you are going. May Allah protect you and always keep you safe and away from pain. May He place you among the good people and may He allow us to meet again when the right time beckons. Please forgive me for all those occasions in which I had been rude, disobedient or/and obnoxious. Forgive me for holding grudges against you. Forgive me for not spending enough time. As I grow older, I begin to understand how complicated life is and one should not accept or hear things at face value. So Nenek, I am sorry once again and I do hope for your fitful rest. Come Judgement Day, I hope to meet you again. I love you.

...


On another note...it is the day. After 4 months of no full-time employment, the day has come for that tag to expire.

Good evening, Miss Mona.

Last Friday night...

...as a full-time drifter and I chose to stay home. Bah.



Sleeping with Mario tonight, haze or no haze.

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Bukan superstar

Spent some time with these people recently at a youth camp. They are still in their teenage years and a few can pass off as my kids.

I'm missing their zest already.

Though I was their group facilitator, they, on the other hand, taught me a thing or two about life.

May you all grow up well and be happy.

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"Trained to be a leader...

...to fight for our land!"

Oh pfft.

As I get older, that song really gets on my nerves. Long gone are those days screaming the tune as I marched/ran/crawled up and down fields and parade squares as ordered by over-zealous instructors.

And no..I didnt even sign up to be in the army. Bah.

But anyway, that is not my point. The point is that in 3 hrs' time, I will be participating in a camp organised for 'at-risk' youths.

I cant remember when was the last time I attended a non-NPCC camp. It will be different. I wont have my rank to throw around and will have to rely on my (lack of) charm and luck.

Hope I wont fail as a facilitator. Hope no camper under my surveillance disappear or get into trouble.

Hope I can get along fine with other facilitators/instructors...people whom I just met once. Hope I dont pass off as too showy, or too cowardly, or too passive, or..well..too old.

Hope it rains tomorrow afternoon. Not so heavy it goes on for days, but heavy enough for the high rope obstacle session to be cancelled. Lord I hate those things.

I do, however, hope for sunny weather on Sunday for we will be having rafting and sea-based activities. The sun can shine for as long as it wants then.

Tsk. Such a troublesome person.

I guess ultimately, I just want to survive this without getting sick or injured. And have fun, of course.

Good luck everybody.


P/S: No electrical powerpoint at site for me to charge my phone!

Copa de la vida, si?

There's a 5am match later.



Minah nak 'step' Latina.

Tsk.


P/S: Hoping I use 'step' in the right Minah-speak.


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We do what we do

Two weeks have flown and Nenek is still here at Changi Hospital. She experiences renal failure and ..to use a layman's term...is just waiting for her time to meet the Maker.

Yesterday we went to a maid agency and got a Burmese maid for her. Think if all goes well, the maid will be here by end of June. The hospital has gently told us to bring Nenek home. Since the maid is not here yet, think my dad and auntie will place Nenek in a home for a week or something.

Hai Nenek...may you be comfortable and free from worldly pains soon.

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Are you lucky?

After Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines, this has to be my 'summer' anthem. And hey, hey, hey...what do you know?

Pharrell is here too.

Love you, Abang P.



Just wondering. If you're up all night trying to get lucky, then maybe, just maybe, you're up all night at the wrong place.

Just saying.

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La ilaha illallah

I like Barca as a collective entity cause no individual is above team, even with regards to my most favourite players like Cantona, Solskjaer, Maradona and Ronaldinho.

And to liken Messi to 'god'...puh-leeze. He is a fantastic player but he has been proven to be kinda inefficient, just like everyone else, when the chips were done.

Case in point: Barca's last match in their last Champions' League game.

Nevertheless, welcome Neymar to Barca. Hope you have a good life and maybe, feel a tiny tinge of regret for not joining a certain Moyes and his team.

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One of them

Just realised how preachy and self-indulgent the previous entry was.

One of those times you fell into the crevices of:
- Self-righteousness
- Sanctimoniousness
- Sententiousness.

Okay. Now I am just showing-off.
That is not the intention of this post.

Reality ch-ch-check it out.

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Why so serious?

There are two types of leaders whom I know very well. The first group comprises those who lead by action and the second one comprises those who like to talk a lot, giving pep talk after pep talk. The latter sometimes ... well...why do you have to talk so much?

Fine. Maybe I am the people's leader. The kind who rises from the bottom and one whom everyone can relate to. I must, however, remember that not every leader is that way.

Had NPCC training earlier and I am quite perplexed at the behaviour of one of my instructors. He rather ended the training 20 minutes earlier just so that he could talk to the kids about their mistakes and other what-have-yous.

Why am I puzzled? I would rather we take the time to continue with our training, interacting and perfecting our skill on the ground. Well, we are not talking about war strategy. We are just doing footdrill. If you can pinpoint the mistakes immediately when you see them, the chances of being corrected immediately is higher. Plus, the kids did not have their pen and paper, nor did they have recording of their performance. Everything would be forgotten in a matter of minutes. So, if you see something wrong, correct it immediately.

Guess that is where we differ. Maybe he did not want to approach the erroneous execution there and then for fear of embarrassing some folks. But ah, there are skills to that. If one has that skill, one will not be afraid to use it. But...hmm..I guess that comes with experience.

I also find that many of these new-age instructors are way too serious, making the CCA such a chore to participate in. Other than having to iron their uniform, polish their boots and what-nots, some instructors asked them to write many reports, journals, etc. Sure, these are good practices and would instil thoughfulness in the cadets but in this hectic time of existence, it may take a toll on some students.

CCA is meant to be fun. Of course the students should learn something along the way but to me, it has to be fun so that their attention can be retained. Once we've gotten their attention, we can bring in dedication, aspiration and then, excellence. You cannot jump from basic participation (for the sake of being forced to have a CCA) to excellence. There are pitstops along the way and many 'perished' along that road because the journey is no longer fun. It has become a dreadful chore; a burden too heavy to carry on top of school load, family and puberty. And soon the interest wanes and eventually...

I am not a fierce instructor or teacher. I dont rule by fear and I dont step into a situation demanding respect. When you take that role, you tell yourself, it is not you who seek fame or glory (or whatever hoopla cheesy term you want to call it). It is truly a sacrificial role. You impart everything you know hoping that someone can take that knowledge higher than the notch you had climbed before. You must establish relationship and be open to the trainees.

Get real. We are not training foot soldiers who will roll out tanks and dishing out machine guns. We are training teenagers who are looking for something fun and educational to fill up their time and hopefully, become a better person while they are at it. Let it be fun and joyful. Smile a little. Share your life a little. And, laugh a lot.

Sure, you have to met out punishment when the discipline goes out of hand. But you must bear in mind, what are the learning experiences gained by making people do 50 push-ups? Explain to them why they have to do the punishment. If the relationship establishment is right from the start, there will be no need for that, I am sure.

So...why so serious?

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Fishy

Something is wrong with my sister.

Either she is dying...or I am.

Hah. Okay. I'm kidding.

But..wtf..she climbed onto my bed to hug me. And then she fell asleep.



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Kids play

Orange is the day.


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Little pieces

After 4 days of helping a friend tend her booth at the Motherhood Exhibition down at Singapore Expo, I am in need of a little peace and quiet. Stay away from the madding (and maddening) crowd.

The idea brought me back to Nyaungshwe. I was on the last leg of my Burma 'tour de force' and I had no idea of what was to be expected at Nyaungshwe.

The day I got there, I spent the afternoon walking. I walked into a settlement, a little village. Families were gossiping at the verandah, fathers were teaching sons how to repair their 'sampan', etc.

We all exchanged smiles, me being curious about their easy-breezy lifestyle and they being curious why this weirdly dressed Asian sister ended up in their backyards and taking pictures of herself near their toilets.

I found a little spot by the river and parked my tired ass there. It was quiet on my side, but bustling on the other. It was my perfect moment. I could sleep there until another person found the same spot.

This traveller from Xiamen, China, sat beside me quietly. I started a conversation because I am the kind of person who would. I am not a great chatter but I do enjoy a little conversation and after 5 days of travelling alone, a good conversation seems god-send.

So after a quick chat, the traveller (whose name is Guo Xiong) and I sat peacefully by the river till he stood up to leave. I left not long after and on my way back, I strolled past a huge paddy field and saw a glorious sight.

The sun was setting nicely down the plains, covering the land with a strong orange glow. The children who lived near the field were desperately playing to their hearts' content and trying to chase the last ray of light. So were the ducks, furiously paddling up and down the stream in the tangerine light.

I stood there for a while, trying to put myself in the places of the children and their mothers who were waving and smiling at me. They must have gotten this everyday...silly travellers gawking into their lives with expressions bordering between wistfulness and disdain (for the lack of modernity).

And as the day turned dark, I made my way back to my abode, a rickety chalet-like room with minimal amenities, stopping earlier at an eatery for a quick dinner.

There I met the traveller from Xiamen and his two friends. We began to converse in Mandarin about how expensive the food at the eatery was but laughed at ourselves for being idiots because we chose to be there for its free wifi :)

Okay...such a long post for a 2-3hr non-event. If I were to compile the memories of my Burma travel (or any travel for that matter), it would be a never-ending reading material with a lot of thoughts, perspectives, what-ifs and comic encounters. Very self-indulgent. Like now. So I better stop.

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