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Not so young, never beautiful

I am a year older in 24 hours' time. I am feeling emotional. Blame it on being hormonal or whatever.

I hate birthdays.




I've seen the world
Done it all, had my cake now
Diamonds, brilliant, and Bel-Air now
Hot summer nights mid July
When you and I were forever wild
The crazy days, the city lights
The way you'd play with me like a child

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful
Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful

I've seen the world, lit it up as my stage now
Channeling angels in, the new age now
Hot summer days, rock and roll
The way you'd play for me at your show
And all the ways I got to know
Your pretty face and electric soul

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful
Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful

Dear lord when I get to heaven
Please let me bring my man
When he comes tell me that you'll let him
Father tell me if you can

Oh that grace, oh that body
Oh that face makes me wanna party
He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful
Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will

Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful
Will you still love me when I'm not young and beautiful


###

Bell Jar

Mad Girl's Love Song

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.) 
― Sylvia Plath

###

Back at one

Sometimes spending too long a time with your own thoughts creates complications in your heart.

Free yourself from the mental slavery.

Back to the board

"We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her and I...
...go back to black."

Almost 3am and this Amy Winehouse's number is wailing in my head. No absolute meaning because I cannot relate to the words at all, though I do appreciate blues and soul.

Things have been quite interesting lately. Not any less chaotic but interesting, still. My first time taking a form class and I think, by the end of the year, the students will be bonkers because they have a crazy agitator as a teacher. I cannot help it. I just want to test how far I can push the students, both academically and mentally. I just want to see how far they can go before they actually melt down. Now...that is a very thin line to cross. But, oh, I love danger.

And talking about danger...

Currently I am running a risk of having my heart broken. Not saying that it is going to happen but, well, there is a risk. Not going to elaborate any further (because there is nothing to elaborate, rather) but let's just say, shit's getting interesting.

Goodnight, Amy Winehouse.


###

Is this love is this love is this love?

So I throw my cards on  your table.

 

###

 

 

NY(E) Cinque

The fifth stop in the process of ushering the new year ~ the supper stop.

After wobbling down the stairs of ChinaOne and back to the car at around 0400hrs, we all headed to The Prata House down at Upper Thomson Road.

Two pratas later and I'm home at 0545hrs.

Now...the celebration will be put on hold for a little rest. It will resume at 1300hrs at Nani's place down at Paya Lebar later.

Zzzzz.

NYE Quattro

At about 0130hrs, the party at Ramada began to cool off. But I think our mood was still buzzing. We got my sister, who kindly came down (naaah, she was bored), to drive us to ChinaOne down at Clarke Quay. I wanted some rocking live music - the kind that Tabula (the resident band) - could provide.

Think we 'jammed' till almost 0400hrs. Oasis, Radiohead, Foo Fighters, The Killers, Adele (huh?), Katy Perry (say, what?)...oh how sweet the taste of pseudo youth.

My knees were killing me at this stage but...off to 5th pitstop.

NYE Tre

The third pitstop was at the Ramada Hotel at Zhongshan Park. Since Rae's the marcomm honcho there, she brought us to check out the countdown party.

Though we were slow to warm up, I thought the party was pretty cool. Would have been better if parents supervised their kids well cause I was quite worried looking at them playing by the pool.

By the way, Rae, Linda, Lauren and I took this shot by the pool.

It was midnight...2014...and I was De Niro.

"You talking to me?"

Happy New Year, folks.