I see you looking at me like I'm some kind of freak...

* Yawn *

1400hrs and I just woke up. But well, I did go to bed at 0730hrs, okay.

It was a riotous Saturday…with me rushing down to Boat Quay after doing my hair. Met CY2, Vinz, Alfian, Des and Esther, had some crappy nasi goreng dinner and then we were off to CHIJMES to catch the big match, meeting Ting and Adrian (and his friend) there.

Yeah..big match, my ass.


TonyMarshall/Empics

As you can see, Chelsea won the Premiership title and the trophy was awarded after they thrashed Man U 3-0 … and after Wayne Rooney fractured his 4th metatarsal on his right foot.


TonyMarshall/Empics

I guess England fans now have their hearts in their mouths now that Mr Potatohead is out for 6 weeks. I am not an England supporter (actually this is rubbish. Every Singaporean is a supporter of the England national team, whether he/she admits it or not) with Rooney not playing, I am all the more convinced that the cup wont be returning “home”.

Anyway, before the match started, I told Ting that I predicted Joe Cole to be the man-of-the-match. And when the match was in progress, I reminded Ting that the last time we caught a match together, Alan Smith broke his leg. “This time, maybe it’s Wayne Rooney,” I said.

Guess what?

Joe Cole did become the man-of-the-match and Wayne Rooney did break his foot. Yup, Ting. NO MORE WATCHING MAN U MATCHES TOGETHER. And for World Cup, we are not supporting the same teams so haha, it’s okay. I don’t support England, Holland, Portugal and Czech Rep. Lucky Man U didn’t lose when we were at Old Trafford last year, huh? And thank God no one got hurt.

Enough of stuff about that round black-white thing…

Ting left 15 minutes before the game ended and Adrian’s friend left soon after. The rest of us headed to Kbox Marina to scream our lungs out. It was therapeutic, man. Zhenni and Redzwan joined us soon after and we had 9 people screaming in the room. We sang from 2230hrs to 0400hrs…crazy, I know. But it was fun. Guys…no more Kbox. Will bring you guys to Apollo Centre instead. It’s cheaper by half, okay.


It was a night of boy bands, girl bands and Britney Spears.

We finally staggered out of that place and headed to Peninsular Plaza’s 7-11 to get breakfast. Parked ourselves on the steps of the former Supreme Court and ate, chatted, napped till 0600hrs before taking the bus/cab/train home. Zhenni, Vinz and I took the train home…and I stoned all the way home, completed with uncontrollable spasm.

“Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there” (Runaway Train)

Nuff said.

Nani and I met up on Friday evening. Suggested going karaoke but decided to just hang out instead. I had a nice dinner in a restaurant finally. Haha I know it’s only Fish & Co and not Au Jardine or Lawry’s…but it didn’t really matter because I haven’t had a proper meal in a restaurant for quite a while now. Haha. Tough.

After having the lovely mussels penne, we walked around Borders and finally headed to Lido’s McD because everywhere else was closed. Somehow we ended up talking about sex (as always) and well, this time, we went a step further (no we didn’t “do” it there) and created lewd Malay pantun or poem. It’s too lewd for me to put it up here…I mean, I do put up obscenities up here but having it in Malay/Bahasa Indonesia sounds so…je ne sais pas..bloody rude.

But the poem was bloody good and creative. I call it Kampong Fornication.

Oh well.

Maybe I should check out the Metro Sale today. I need make up supplies. Don’t think my face can take soon-to-be-expired make up anymore.

Now…if only I can get my ass off this chair.

###

I give you my dirty little secret

Yeah..forgot that it's going to be a long weekend. Not that it matters to me anyway.

And oh yeah..fellow AMK-ites, WE ARE GOING TO VOTE.

But yeah. Not that our votes matter, right? What? They do? Wow.


Anyway...

Had a make-up mishap this morning as I was rushing for the interview. Ended looking like Malibu Barbie Goes Corporate (not the body..but the whole idea, dammit). I got darker but my make up didnt really complement the skin. So in the end, I looked kind of bronze.

Tsk tsk tsk.

A short one for now.

The rain has stopped and it's time to go out to play.

Play in the puddles.

Later.

###

Like an Alzheimer victim in a whorehouse...

Stop it.

Hah. Have to stop myself from doing something so ridiculously childish. But I cant help it. It’s like falling in love for the first time. Hahaha.

Tsk tsk tsk.

I am too old for this. But…screw it anyway.

Oh yeah it’s glad to be back. It really is. I didn’t have the time to go to my uni though. Partly the parents wouldn’t let me out of their sights and also partly because I was too cheap to pay for bus fare to ECU. I was thinking of walking to school but well, it was too cold to get out at 0700hrs in the morning just to go to ECU.

Excuses..excuses.

Anyway yeah, feels good to be back. Perth was comforting as always but I felt so restricted the past 5 days. Sharing the room with 2 pigs siblings was crazy. Always had the task of waking them up…and that was almost mission impossible. The brother smoked in the room and I could die of suffocation. And because the siblings couldn’t wake up, I got scolded by the parents. Wa-lao! What did I do?


Imagine having the mother calling from the other room and screaming at you every morning? Every 5 minutes?

And for every shop that the children went in, the parents would linger outside…pulling a super sour lemon face. Lauren, can you believe it? I didn’t step into David Jones, Dotti and many other lovely shops. I only stepped into Sportsgirl and Portmans once. And only for 5 minutes…the father would scream at the mother because we were taking a long time. The mother would march into the store and scream at me in front of everyone else in the shops. Then when we got out of the shops, the father said this:

“What to do next? Where to go?”

Man! At the rate they were rushing me, it was like they had a jet to catch to attend a United Nations’ meeting down at Geneva.


My motion: Don’t let children have more fun than the parents.

Awrite awrite. It’s over. The trip, I mean. There were good times of course. Maybe will update more on it later. Right now, it’s almost 0400hrs and I need to wake up in 4 hours’ time for an interview at AVA. Am kind of tired of going to interviews but well…I know this is something I have to do.

Or, I can just find an old rich man.

Nah. Havent reached that desperation level just yet. I’m at this stage where everyone is either too old or too young. Don’t think can stomach an oldie. Give me a young one anytime.

Sheesh.

*Excuse me. I am just rambling…*

I could lose my heart tonight
If you don't turn and walk away
'Cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay
'Cause I could take you in my arms
And never let go

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

I can only wonder how
Touching you would make me feel
But if I take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still
So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

And I know it's not right
And I guess I should try to do what I should do
But I could fall in love, fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you - I Could Fall In Love, Selena

Yes yes yes I know I have put this up a gazillion times before but I have been hit suddenly by a bout of romantic melancholy. I blame the autumn chill.

And well, this song happens to be my #1 favourite love song ever.

A thousand times goodnight, poetic lovers.

P/S: I did catch the Barcelona/AC Milan match. The whole 90+ minutes of it. Next? Barcelona and Arsenal. What the hell...

###

Bed before midnite?

Last night on this bed. Had a conflicting day today. Lots of up-down emotions, no thanks to my brattiness and the family being a ridiculous entity.

Met Medy at her cafe for lunch and it was fantastic. Went PRICELINE and surprised to see toiletries so ex. I'm disappointed. Humph.

Tough titties!

Excuse me while I ...*burp*... finished my breakfast.

ARGH! The Arses won. Woke up at 0430hrs this morning because the father said that the match started then. But when i woke up, to my dismay, I saw '2nd half highlights' flashing on the screen with the score '0-0'. IDIOT!

Lesson learnt? Never trust the parents when it comes to TV...and football.

Today will be the 2nd last day that we are here. Gonna slack today. But then again, that's what we have been doing. Gonna visit Auntie Medy at her cafe at Northbridge later. Haha..free lunch. Muakaka.

Susan and Lauren... yesterday, we went to the pathetic zoo. it wasnt half as bad now but the sucky part was it rained very heavily the whole day. So fucking cold. Anyway it was ANZAC day yesterday and well...to cut the story short, it wasnt really our day. Tough titties.

8 more minutes...

Anyway I think I am too independent, too selfish, too..i dont know. Maybe i cant communicate with the parents. The mother thinks i am too smart for my own good. The father thinks i am too rude. I walk too fast...I shop too slow.

ARGH. Just leave me alone.

But...

The parents walk too slow, talk too much and gaaaaah, irritate the hell out of me. They think this is Singapore...everything must be fast, must be efficient...keep on grumbling....kill me. just kill me.

5 more minutes.

Later.

If not, tomorrow. At home. Yeah.

###

Cold, cold nite

It's only 2315hrs and all of us are already tucked in bed. Am boredout of my skull. Due to some fucking fuck-ups, we didn't go to the pinnacles tour.

Plus it rained today and we froze our tits.

Know what?

I miss home.

"incestuous" viewing

True to what i said, SBS channel still shows "arty" shows. Right now I'm watching one... Nudity, bisexuality, homosexuality, etc.

Turned on?

I'm watching with my brother and sister, lah.

Perthed

17 more minutes on the clock...after "contributing" $3 to the slot.

Today was nice and less chaotic than yesterday. I guess everyone was DEAD tired yesterday and every little think pissed us off.

We reached Perth at 0630hrs and eventually reached the hotel at 0745hrs. We couldnt checked in because it was still too early so we left our baggages with the reception, before venturing out into the dead city. Well dead because everything opens at 1200hrs on Sunday. So i brought them to Subiaco and Fremantle...2 great places which had the weekend markets.

Anyway ..yeah..today was nice. All went back to bed after breakfast and we only left the place at noon. Went to Harbour Town and shopped till every thing closed...which was at 1700hrs, by the way. I bought a nice dress and a skirt from Portmans' and a Nike tennis skirt at the Nike factory outlet...and they basically wiped out everything i had on me. Not even sure if i have enough to buy my shampoo.

Before you laugh and dismiss me off for buying shampoo...let me say this. This shampoo CANNOT be found in Singapore. And oh, it's super good! It costs like $4 for a bottle.

Oh well.

It's going to be a lovely day tomorrow i hope. We are all going to the deserts - to the Pinnacles and some animal farm and wild life areas. I had been to all these places before but the father refused to let me off, citing "Must go as a family!" Whatever.

I had planned to visit the uni and old neighbourhood..and the museum and stuff. Gaaah...had to leave all that to WEdnesday, then. Damn.

Anyway, as i was shopping at Sportsgirl's, I received a call from SIF....hopefully, I can secure an interview when i get back. Then in the late evening, i received a call from AVA...hopefully, another interview when i get back. I need lots of luck here man. Oh..both are for Corporate Communications Officer. Interesting.

All right. Time now is 2230hrs. There is nothing else to do but to go to bed. It's going to be a long day tomorrow..12 hours on the road in fact.

Koalas, here I come. Just dont come near me. Don't even think of clinging. I'm no eucalyptus tree.

A thousand times goodnight, sweet people in Singapore.

P/S: How's the weather? It's lovely down here. Heh ;)

###

Perthed: Beached and parked

damn...3 more minutes on the screen.

okay..today was nice. we slacked and went HArbour Town. Didnt buy much stuff...because..well, it's a pocket-rule day.

Tomorrow we are heading to Pinnacles and whatever rubbish which i had been before. The father didnt let me off...he wanted to go as a family bla bla blah.

So yeah..setting off to the deserts at 0730hrs tomorrow and will be back about 12 hours later.

Gonna be a long day tomorrow.

Oh yeah...got 2 phone calls from SIF and AVA regarding jobs. Interviews waiting for me when i get back....maybe this time, i have better luck.

Shucks.

A thousand times goodnight, good people.

###

Another morning...

Here i am at the lobby, just finished with breakfast and having about 20c (or about 2 minutes) worth of internet time.

Yesterday was dreadful...but it was exciting at the same time.

Ok shucks. no time.

It's cold here.

Lauren have a good trip. Sha...guest-blogger, ok?

###

almost a day down..

i want to kill every member of my family. it's gonna turn ugly soon.

to friends, i can't promise anything because i am broke and unbothered.
lauren, have a nippon gd time.

guest blogger: babe, no worries man. hope u come back still sane. catcha soon..

i dont want to go holiday.

tell u it's a fucking bad idea to travel together. 11pm.. 2 hrs to flight and parents have argued. pissed off. old man angry because son went to airport on his own. old man angry because old woman didn't bring his medicated cream. nabei. i want amk ave 8.

guest blogger: hahahahahahahaha! good luck babe, i'll pray u dun go crazy!

Talk to God but the sky's empty

Leaving home in about 3 hours’ time. Managed to pack 2 hours ago in record time. 10 minutes. I am getting better at this.



Gonna stay at Goodearth Hotel. Wonder why must they have ugly sheets?

.....

Ate a lot today…half a pack of chicken rice..a bowl of cheng teng..half a bowl of chicken porridge..another half pack of chicken rice. I must have been a vegetarian in my past life. Am taking my revenge on chickens right now. Rubbish. Muslims don’t believe in past lives.

Lauren and I were talking just now and well…we were talking about places we could go alone. Hmmm…my take?

- New York
- London
- Tuscany

I don’t know why…but I don’t mind going to these places alone. One thing’s for sure. It has to be a city. Okay..delete everything. I think I can make it anywhere alone. Aisey.

Not much input now other than excited in going back to Perth, pissed that I am going to miss the return leg Champion’s League matches (Ting, please internet sms me the results? Please? I help you break more Da Vinci codes. I’m the man, remember?) and worried that the dysfunctional family will explode.

I have never spent so much time with the family. 5 days..24 hours. I will try to find a cybercafe and update on my state. Or maybe…you can just check the Swan River in case yours truly decides to end it all.

We spotted the ocean at the head of the trail
Where are we going, so far away
And somebody told me that this is the place
Where everything's better, everything's safe

Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone

And half and hour later we packed up our things
We said we'd send letters and all those little things
And they knew we were lying but they smiled just the same
It seemed they'd already forgotten we'd came

Now we're back at the homestead
Where the air makes you choke
And people don't know you
And trust is a joke
We don't even have pictures
Just memories to hold
That grow sweeter each season
As we slowly grow old

Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone - Walk On The Ocean, Toad the Wet Sprocket

Anyway, CY1, Dear, Ruth, Ally…have fun in Taipei. Don’t eat too much chow tofu. It stinks like crazy! Lauren..have a good trip to Japan. The rest…enjoy ..er..home.

“Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me." (Phenomenal Woman, Maya Angelou)

Catch you again in 5 days' time, mates.

###

Dreamers often lie

Ed: You know most malay women are circumcised…
Ting: How is the female circumcision done?
Ed: I think you remove the outer skin on the vagina. I think a thin layer off the clit.
Ting: How many layers of skin do you have?
Ed: You think we kueh lapis is it? So many layers?!?! Just one, lah!
Ting: Then no more?
Ed: Nope. That’s why Malay girls are horny.
Lauren: Because?
Ed: Because the clit is extra sensitive. No “hat”. Hahahahahahaha!
Lauren: ?????

That, my friends, was a short and vague lesson on female circumcision. Hope you ladies find it useful. And with that knowledge, now we know how Ismail can please a woman in 5 minutes. Must be a Malay woman. Hehe. Oh by the way, the “horny” part was just my own conclusion. There’s no scientific truth behind it.

Anyway..Ting and Grace, thanks for dinner and the hospitality just now. Next time, we’ll do an overnighter, okay? And Ting, thanks for believing that my English is powerful enough to crack the Da Vinci code. And well, since I *ahem* managed to uncode it…my English must be damn powerful. So minah and ah lian, you two better buck up.

Oh well.

Your Heart Is Blue

Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well. You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return. Your flirting style: Friendly Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish What you bring to relationships: Loyalty

What Color Heart Do You Have?

Yeah. Loyalty. Not like some people. Sheesh.

Long ago and oh so far away
I fell in love with you before the second show
Your guitar
It sounds so sweet and clear
But you're not really here
It's just the radio

Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby
You said you'd be coming back this way again baby
Baby, baby, baby, baby, oh baby
I love you I really do

Loneliness
Is such a sad affair
And I can hardly wait to be with you again
What to say to make you come again
Come back to me again
And play your sad guitar

Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby
You said you'd be coming back this way again baby
Baby, baby, baby, baby, oh baby
I love you I really do – Superstar, Carpenters

Ay me.

Come, night; come, Romeo; come, thou day in night,
For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night,
Whiter than new snow upon a raven’s back.
Come, gentle night; come, loving, black-browed night,
Give me my Romeo; and when I shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.
O, I have bought the mansion of a love,
But not possessed it; and though I am sold,
Not yet enjoyed. So tedious is this day
As is the night before some festival
To an impatient child that hath new robes
And may not wear them. (Juliet, Romeo & Juliet, Act 3, Scene 2)

I am a romantic. My bad.



I can hear Perth calling.

A thousand times goodnight, star-crossed lovers.

###

Have you ever been mellow?

2 more days to Perth.

I am going to take a freaking long walk in the Autumn sunset. Visit some familiar shops. See some familiar faces. Gonna steal some lemons from the former neighbours. Hopefully Sulley, the dog, wont jump out of the fence and chase me. He’s huge.

Oh well.

I am very tired. But I can’t go to bed. It’s one of those nights.

I see love and beauty all around
I also see the sadness that's embedded in your frown
I wonder why you choose not to talk to those around
I sense a fear of lifting heavy feet
Higher than you want to
I just want to believe your truth...

You stand there but you do not cast a shadow
You walk away with every word you choose not to say
I suppose that moving on paints a new colour for each day
I don't like to see dreams put on the shelf
To deal with on that one day
I just want to be happy for you

'Cause I only have one second this minute today
I can't press rewind and turn it back and call it now
And so this moment, I just have to sing out loud
And say I love I like and breathe in now
And say I love I live and breathe in now

I move on holding on to what I learn
It's time to move on from the notion
That the whole world's against me
Break free of shackles that formed young
Time free in now
And now I know it's not all up to me
I can count on another
So move on lighter and be free ....

'Cause I only have one second this minute today
I can't press rewind and turn it back and call it now
And so this moment, I just have to sing out loud
And say I love I like and breathe in now
And say I love I live and breathe in now

I believe in for today
I just want to know that you're okay
Cause I believe in breathing just for today
I just want to know that you're okay....

'Cause I only have one second this minute today
I can't press rewind and turn it back and call it now
And so this moment I just have to sing out loud
And say I love I like and breathe in now
And say I love I live and breathe in now
And say I love I live and breathe in now (Breathe In Now, George)

Yes yes I am breathing.
Barely, but still breathing.
And my ass is numbed.

It’s one of those nights…

###

Enviously romantic

Finally, after 2 days of mad ding-dong rush to and fro the Australian High Commission, I finally got my 1-week visa. Spent so much for this one hell of a piece of paper. Urgh.

Okay. I am too tired to be angry tonight.

After 2 nights of sleeping at 0530hrs (no thanks to Champions’ League) and waking up 3 hours later, I was really zombified. Still, managed to take a bloody long walk to Borders and read a book on Plato (and finishing it) before Lauren came and joined me. Was stark raving mad with hunger by then so we went Far East to eat. After running some errands, we somehow got on a bus to Holland Village. After roaming around, we finally landed at NYDC’s.



Drinking Lemon Shiver got me all awake. Powerful sour stuff.

Anyway…

It was good, wasn’t it? We sitting there reminiscing on those days back in Perth…long before all these unemployment and messy love lives came into the picture? Susan, if only you were there just now. We were trying to remember how I fell backwards on the rocking chair, my horrible checked pyjamas, our Sex & The City nights, that 3 loaves of bread fiasco, the shark-on-the sofa moment, our Daniel Bedingfield moment…those times.

It is always good to be reminded that we did have good fun days, huh? Tonight, I am feeling so old and sentimental. I was browsing some girlie magazine at Borders and came across this article about women having some crisis at the age of 27. Skimming it, I felt everything was so familiar. From job to love life…ah, the lack of everything.

Stood there for a while. Bummed.

Just who am I?
What do I want?
What is my vision?
Is anything worth chasing for?
What if everything is done in vain?
What can I be happy about?
What have I achieved?
What am I proud of?
What is my worthiest possession?
What is going to become of me?
Will I settle down?
How do I live my life?
What is the one thing I am searching for?

I don’t know.
I don’t know.

Guys, remember our poly years? Remember doing our marketing and advertising pitches? Remember the fire we had? Our ruthless marketing ploys and SWOT strategies? Weren’t we idealistic back then? Remember those times we did overnight filming? Where’s the energy now? How about those times we developed rolls and rolls of film in the dark room…singing as loud as we could? Where’s the passion now?

Maybe we lost a bit of ourselves as we grew up.

I think we are the lost generation. Or are we just too bohemic for our own good? Always taking the road less travelled? Always stirring but never settled? What say you?

Oh well.

After NYDC, Lauren and I took a walk to the bus stop but not before side-tracking and going to Oei Tiong Ham Park.


Obscene place with obscenely big houses.


They have high walls and this one has tropical palm trees swaying in the courtyard.

Lauren and I went green in the face – with both envy and disgust – as we walked around the sprawling residential area.

Lauren: Look at the pool!
Ed: What the hell! The whole house looks like the best villa in Bali!
Lauren: Look! An aquarium!
Ed: That house has facades!
Lauren: Look, a Rolls Royce. Bloody hell!
Ed: Bloody fucking elites.

Man. It’s not just one house. Or two. Or three. It’s an estate for luxury living. It is obscene. It is really the indulgent lifestyle of the rich and famous. You cannot even imagine it. Talking about imagine… I had an interesting with the cabby (late..took cab) on the way to the Aussie High Comm this morning.

Cabby: U going Australia, ah?
Ed: Yup.
Cabby: Is it cheap?
Ed: Well, it is…it’s just that airport tax and fuel charge cost about $280 and after totalling it up, each person pays close to $1000.
Cabby: What? Airport tax so expensive, ah?
Ed: Yeah..it’s not cheap, lah. All those package offers are all before taxes.
Cabby: Aiyoh…so expensive. Lucky got Progress Package. How much do you get?
Ed: $800…
Cabby: Your parents get $1600 right? $800 goes to CPF?
Ed: Yeah yeah.
Cabby: See..Gahmen gives us money for election. Did you read about the NKF Durai case?
Ed: Yes, I did.
Cabby: He kena fined $100,000. What is that amount of money to him? It’s nothing, wor. He ate a lot of Singaporeans’ money.
Ed: Yeah he did. And the amount of money he got…I cant even imagine of getting that. Even if I work for months and months…
Cabby: Ah? Until you mati lah..you wont get to earn the kind he got.
Ed: True true. I can never imagine...
Cabby: You can't imagine one. A lot of money. Somemore everything he charged to NKF…flights, entertain…now he will be jailed for a few years..and fine $100,000.
Ed: I still think it’s too little.
Cabby: Of course! I think the opposition parties should bring this up.
Ed: Yeah maybe they will. Very hot news.
Cabby: Opposition is stupid if they don’t bring this issue up.
Ed: Ah…ok.

Who says Singaporeans have no opinions? We have, okay? They are just confined to ERP, CTE and PIE.



Enough politics.
Let’s have more love.
“Hoy, love!”

Tell her not to go
I ain't holding on no more
Tell her something in my mind freezes up from time to time
Tell her not to cry
I just got scared that's all
Tell her I'll be by her side, all she has to do is call

Tell her the chips are down
I drank too much and shouted it aloud
Tell her something in my heart
Needs her more than even clowns need the laugher of the crowd.
Tell her what was wrong
I sometimes think too much
But say nothing at all
And tell her from this high terrain, I am ready now to fall

Tell her not to go
I ain't holding on no more
Tell her nothing if not this; all I want to do is kiss her

Tell her something in my mind
Freezes up from time to time - Tell Her This, Del Amitri

Heard it again on the telly just now.
Feeling all fluttery.
Sigh.
What is this little thing called love?

A thousand times good night, romantics.

###

Being young and free and dreamy...

I am tired but I am determined not to succumb to the night. Not yet.

Take me now, baby, here as I am
Hold me close, try and understand
Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe
Love is a banquet on which we feed
Come on now, try and understand
The way I feel under your command
Take my hand, come under cover
They can't hurt you now

Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to lust
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us – Because The Night, 10 000 Maniacs


Badminton took a beating today as Lauren and Jay both seemed to not be in the best of moods. Lucky Sha and Ismail were feeling (or seemingly) okay. To the missing Moonies – Koko, Shine, Rogue – here are what you had missed. Err…nothing much lah.








After the game, as always, we adjourned to our talk cock session while we re-hydrate.





It was funny as hell. We planned to use our Progress Package and blew it on a one-night-only Fullerton suite…complete with strippers.

Ed: We pay for strippers …
Jay: …and put money down their asses.
Ed: We spent everything we had in one night and then the next day 2nd May..we be too poor.
Lauren: Sit at the roadside..stoned. No money to go home.
Ed: We have to take our money back from the strippers’ asses because we want to eat McDonald’s Big Breakfast.


Sad fuckers. See lah. This is what happened when Government give poor people like us money by the hundreds. We dream as if those are millions. Jay even suggested I let David Gan cut my hair. “Give him all your $800!” he said.

Oh Ting, we also talked about doing a flashmob at the Parkview Square building…the place where only the “divine elites” can enter.


Ismail: Divine elites? Who the hell are the divine elites?
Jay: Must be those chosen by God.
Ed: Opus Dei!
Jay: Yeah those who whip themselves…


Yeah…and these people want to go to Parkview Square’s bar to drink, huh?

Anyway, it was fun crapping as always. We also came to a conclusion that we had no elites among us. Since we were on the topic of “divine elite”. Okay..the most elitist among us is Grace..and after that Susan. Even then, both of them stay in HDB flats.

Hah. Our group is so heartlander..so middle-class. So..so..Toa Payoh. So..mama shop. So kopi tiam. But hey...at least we know what lepak one corner means.


Come to think of it..i really don’t have a friend who stays in a condo. Or in District 10. Maybe these people don’t want to be my friend. Hahaha. Might as well. We’re too normal for aristocracy and Paris Hilton will never be our friend.

Anyway…we chatted till almost midnight and came out with plans for the rest of the 2006. Wow. It’s going to be an exciting 2nd half.


Yippee!!


So yup.

I’ve got my life planned out. And somehow, work doesn’t seem to fit into the schedule. This is bad.

May:
- Mother’s Day proposed dinner with the mother and aunties
- Endau Rompin nature adventure

June:
Ting’s McDonalds’/Back To School Party

July:
a break to recoup “losses”

Aug:
- Noreen’s wedding…the beginning of Four Weddings and a Funeral. No Ismail. I am not Andie McDowell. I am Hugh Grant.
- proposed “One Night in Ritz Carlton” session on National Day
- proposed Paintball session for the August babies’ birthday celebration

Sept:
- another theme party for the September babies (how about the Madhatter’s Party?)
- Recoup losses
- Fasting month begins

Oct:
- Noreen’s birthday
- Ismail’s Mak Cik Butterfly-dresses party
- Hari Raya

Nov:
- Susan’s wedding at Regent’s
- Best friend’s birthday

Dec:
- A probable Vietnam trip
- Recoup losses…and plan how to celebrate turning 27 in January.


Gosh! I’m turning 27. Lauren, we’re turning 27. Stupid numbers…ever increasing.

A thousand times good night, old timers.

P/S: It’s 18-till-I-die, okay?

###

Service over love all

Gaaaaaah!

Another $21 gone for the medical check-up which took less than 10 minutes. O pray tell…isn’t it such a bloody pain in the tush?

Maybe I will be spared all this agony if I had lured the family to go Vietnam instead. Never mind…that will be my next destination in the near future. Somewhere in the near future. Somewhere in the bleak near future. Hah you get the point.

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

Yeah lah..yeah lah. Narcissist. Ahaha. Ric Flair. Mr Perfect. Ravishing Rick Rude. Lex Luger.




Oh..TomKat have gotten a daughter. A pure scientologist! And the world waits for her 18 years on…

Anyway…

Hopefully I’ll get to Perth this weekend after all this fiasco. Will have to go to the High Comm again tomorrow morning to submit my medical. And then I have to pray for the best. Come end of May, I have been offered a trip to ENDAU ROMPIN for some wild adventure.




This trip was supposed to take place last October but it was cancelled due to monsoon season and the fasting month. And now…it’s finally here and I may not have the chance to go should I have a new job by then. I can take no-pay leave though. Anyway been wanting to go to Endau Rompin. Older than even the Amazon, it is one of the world’s oldest tropical rainforests with an estimated age of one million years.

Okay. Hopefully things work out and after Perth, it will be this action-packed trip. Already attended the briefing last week and it sounded so fun. Gonna walk on that bridge, do river crossing, do rapids, trek…best of all, I get to be with my cadets and it’s free.

Oh well.

There’s a saying old, says that love is blind
Still we’re often told, seek and ye shall find
So I’m going to seek a certain lad I’ve had in mind
Looking everywhere, haven’t found him yet
He’s the big affair I cannot forget
Only man I ever think of with regret
I’d like to add his initial to my monogram
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

There’s a somebody I’m longin’ to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who’ll watch over me

I’m a little lamb who’s lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who’ll watch over me

Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

Won’t you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me – Rosemary Clooney, Someone To Watch Over Me

My life is beautiful after all. I just have to ignore a few twits here and there who are out to make life sucky as hell. I am tired of being angry. Maybe it’s time to be in love.

I want to sleep.

2 more hours to badminton.

Breathe in..breathe out…summoning the spirit of John McEnroe. Wa-pah!

I am so in the wrong sport. I should play rugby.

###

Let's talk about pigs in Yio Chu Kang

Don’t worry. I am quitting educational publishing. You can keep whatever treasures you have with you. Why not bring it to the grave? I fucking hate this industry. But most of all, I fucking hate you.

Let’s regurgitate. Let’s get back to first thing first.

0930hrs saw me already at Australian High Commission. Sleepy and tired, I sat there like a lemon waiting to find out what was wrong with my bloody visa.

“347”
Ed: Hi, I was told by my agent to come here. It’s regarding my visa.
Woman: (in loud, almost screaming voice) Why did you come here? Just ask your agent to fax it to us!
Ed: No no..it’s not like that. (Take out a piece of paper) See? It states there “Refer to Australian High Comm”…
Woman: Yeah..but your agent can do this for you. You don’t have to come here, waste your time waiting…queuing…
Ed: (giving up) Not that I want to come…
Woman: (took Ed’s passport) Did they ask you to fill up a form? Did they tell you if you come here you have to pay?
Ed: (defeated) No..no..they didn’t tell me anything. They just asked me to come here because you guys sent a fax to them regarding my visa complication.
Woman: (scanning the passport) Ah! You applied for a visa before is it?
Ed: Yup. Student visa.
Woman: No wonder. Your visa has expired and you have to apply again.

Woman..next time, please scan my passport first before screaming at me, okay? I am sure you are an educated “auntie” but just because I hold a local red passport, I had to suffer a hairdryer treatment from you? Just moments ago, you sounded so nice to the Australian lady who lost/damaged all her important documents. Humph.

Anyway, back to the visa. I always, ALWAYS have problems dealing with Australia and its stupid visa. 4 years ago, I had it. And now…again! The woman told me to prepare for the worst. Worst means I have to go through a full medical check up. And that means…I cant make it on Sunday.


What the fark!
I just want to go on a holiday, lah!!!

Anyway anyway…

Got wind that the Mafia gave a bleak testimonial to a potential future employer..which happens to be a rival company. Then just now the rival company called me and told me they want me to give them 1 week before they can make a final offer or anything. Go. Take forever. I am fine.

So why am I so pissed?

It’s like I have been blacklisted. The Mafia is pissed that I have the cheek to go to a rival company when I said I wanted to pursue my studies (when I left the company). But it’s the Mafia’s own doing, what! When I expressed my interest last year, the Mafia was not supportive. In fact, I felt demoralised after a talk with the Mafia. Like that how?

When I went for the interview with the potential employer, I did ask about the ability to pursue my studies and they were very very supportive towards it. In fact the person who interviewed me were urging to take my masters because she was doing the same thing. So now what?

Anyway whatever lah. I am not interested in the former workplace (which still owes me money) and I am no longer interested in the potential one. Both are under the same BIG company. Probably will be doing the same shit in the end.

Good riddance to educational publishing. Screw ups.

*Got a call from Aussie High Comm. Now I have to go get a fucking medical certificate from my doctors to verify I am fit to go Australia and that I can come back on my own (??? That’s what the woman said) So now..I have to rush down to Raffles Clinic downstairs. I have already spent $100 in getting the fucking visa. And now, I have to spend money in getting a check up. My crime? For being a former Aussie student whose visa and health records have expired. Really nabei chee bye.*

###

Barcelona won now...

Frank Rijkaard reminds me of a person I used to know. It’s a totally grossed out night regarding old men.


Every thing tonight screams “Oily!”

..sigh..

I think about you all night
When you're gone I dream of you
Write your name upon my window
You're perfect

I see the moon is out tonight
See your silhouette so bright
It only lights your beauty
You're perfect

Come to me with an open hand
I'm never gonna leave
I'm gonna make you understand
Look at me with a tear- stained smile
Forever in my dreams, you're perfect girl
You're perfect (perfect in every way)

I won't ever say goodbye
I won't ever make you cry
As long as you are in my arms
You will never need to fear
Just as long as I am here
As long as you are in my arms

Come lay down here beside me
And lay a kiss upon my face
And say you're mine forever
You're perfect – PJ & Duncan, Perfect, 1995


Pining away
For sad hours seem long
Under the stars we promised
To ponder and to reminisce
Around the world we travel
Nothing impossible to overcome
But pray dear one
When will I see you?

A thousand times goodnight, bravehearts.

###