Okay. I am too tired to be angry tonight.
After 2 nights of sleeping at 0530hrs (no thanks to Champions’ League) and waking up 3 hours later, I was really zombified. Still, managed to take a bloody long walk to Borders and read a book on Plato (and finishing it) before Lauren came and joined me. Was stark raving mad with hunger by then so we went Far East to eat. After running some errands, we somehow got on a bus to Holland Village. After roaming around, we finally landed at NYDC’s.
Drinking Lemon Shiver got me all awake. Powerful sour stuff.
Anyway…
It was good, wasn’t it? We sitting there reminiscing on those days back in Perth…long before all these unemployment and messy love lives came into the picture? Susan, if only you were there just now. We were trying to remember how I fell backwards on the rocking chair, my horrible checked pyjamas, our Sex & The City nights, that 3 loaves of bread fiasco, the shark-on-the sofa moment, our Daniel Bedingfield moment…those times.
It is always good to be reminded that we did have good fun days, huh? Tonight, I am feeling so old and sentimental. I was browsing some girlie magazine at Borders and came across this article about women having some crisis at the age of 27. Skimming it, I felt everything was so familiar. From job to love life…ah, the lack of everything.
Stood there for a while. Bummed.
Just who am I?
What do I want?
What is my vision?
Is anything worth chasing for?
What if everything is done in vain?
What can I be happy about?
What have I achieved?
What am I proud of?
What is my worthiest possession?
What is going to become of me?
Will I settle down?
How do I live my life?
What is the one thing I am searching for?
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
Guys, remember our poly years? Remember doing our marketing and advertising pitches? Remember the fire we had? Our ruthless marketing ploys and SWOT strategies? Weren’t we idealistic back then? Remember those times we did overnight filming? Where’s the energy now? How about those times we developed rolls and rolls of film in the dark room…singing as loud as we could? Where’s the passion now?
Maybe we lost a bit of ourselves as we grew up.
I think we are the lost generation. Or are we just too bohemic for our own good? Always taking the road less travelled? Always stirring but never settled? What say you?
Oh well.
After NYDC, Lauren and I took a walk to the bus stop but not before side-tracking and going to Oei Tiong Ham Park.
Obscene place with obscenely big houses.
They have high walls and this one has tropical palm trees swaying in the courtyard.
Lauren and I went green in the face – with both envy and disgust – as we walked around the sprawling residential area.
Lauren: Look at the pool!
Ed: What the hell! The whole house looks like the best villa in Bali!
Lauren: Look! An aquarium!
Ed: That house has facades!
Lauren: Look, a Rolls Royce. Bloody hell!
Ed: Bloody fucking elites.
Man. It’s not just one house. Or two. Or three. It’s an estate for luxury living. It is obscene. It is really the indulgent lifestyle of the rich and famous. You cannot even imagine it. Talking about imagine… I had an interesting with the cabby (late..took cab) on the way to the Aussie High Comm this morning.
Cabby: U going Australia, ah?
Ed: Yup.
Cabby: Is it cheap?
Ed: Well, it is…it’s just that airport tax and fuel charge cost about $280 and after totalling it up, each person pays close to $1000.
Cabby: What? Airport tax so expensive, ah?
Ed: Yeah..it’s not cheap, lah. All those package offers are all before taxes.
Cabby: Aiyoh…so expensive. Lucky got Progress Package. How much do you get?
Ed: $800…
Cabby: Your parents get $1600 right? $800 goes to CPF?
Ed: Yeah yeah.
Cabby: See..Gahmen gives us money for election. Did you read about the NKF Durai case?
Ed: Yes, I did.
Cabby: He kena fined $100,000. What is that amount of money to him? It’s nothing, wor. He ate a lot of Singaporeans’ money.
Ed: Yeah he did. And the amount of money he got…I cant even imagine of getting that. Even if I work for months and months…
Cabby: Ah? Until you mati lah..you wont get to earn the kind he got.
Ed: True true. I can never imagine...
Cabby: You can't imagine one. A lot of money. Somemore everything he charged to NKF…flights, entertain…now he will be jailed for a few years..and fine $100,000.
Ed: I still think it’s too little.
Cabby: Of course! I think the opposition parties should bring this up.
Ed: Yeah maybe they will. Very hot news.
Cabby: Opposition is stupid if they don’t bring this issue up.
Ed: Ah…ok.
Who says Singaporeans have no opinions? We have, okay? They are just confined to ERP, CTE and PIE.
Enough politics.
Let’s have more love.
“Hoy, love!”
Tell her not to go
I ain't holding on no more
Tell her something in my mind freezes up from time to time
Tell her not to cry
I just got scared that's all
Tell her I'll be by her side, all she has to do is call
Tell her the chips are down
I drank too much and shouted it aloud
Tell her something in my heart
Needs her more than even clowns need the laugher of the crowd.
Tell her what was wrong
I sometimes think too much
But say nothing at all
And tell her from this high terrain, I am ready now to fall
Tell her not to go
I ain't holding on no more
Tell her nothing if not this; all I want to do is kiss her
Tell her something in my mind
Freezes up from time to time - Tell Her This, Del Amitri
Heard it again on the telly just now.
Feeling all fluttery.
Sigh.
What is this little thing called love?
A thousand times good night, romantics.
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