Best days

It's the last day of the year and I am still knee-deep in shit (aka work). In fact, fuck, the shit is getting higher and soon, it will hit the bloody fan. Shit will splatter, trust me.

At 1800hrs, I "closed shop" and decided enough was enough. My brain stopped functioning and so I joined 3 of my students who happened to be in school to do some personal filming. We were in the "green" room and decided to let the camera run while we created original MTVs with the green screen at the background. The footages are now being edited. You guys must look out for the Kris Allen's No Boundaries (bootleg) MTV. It's going to be hilarious.

I also went extra crazy (or lame...whichever way you deem fit) and took out the graduation robe from my cupboard and brough it to the room. We did a scene off Harry Potter's Quidditch game, complete with a broom as Nimbus 2000 which I "borrowed" from the cleaning lady.



Almost shit myself laughing.
Watch out for the clip next year.
Heh.

Ahem.

Going Johor tomorrow to have some year end lunch with some good colleagues. Not going to party at night because you know...it's just not right. So, it will be a quiet one.

So...here's wishing everyeone a very happy new year. May 2010 be a better year in terms of success, happiness and most importantly, health.

We'll see you around.

###

Swing low sweet chariot

I have a very strong urge to:

 

(1) Play badminton (to commemorate my aunt who taught me how to play)

(2) Play basketball (I miss the feeling of ball through hoop)

(3) Swim in the open sea

(4) Learn boxing and punch the daylight out of something, preferably a 'pinata' of my boss

(6) Dance

 

 

Grr.

 

Anyway, watched Sherlock Holmes yesterday and being a Guy Ritchie-flick, it was AWESOME. Yes RDJ was uber scruffy-cool but man, I was out(Jude)lawed. Rachel McAdams (not a fan) was bleah as always but...Jude Law was damn fine.

 

So what's next?

Ah, Mandela!

 

###

Whatcha say

I thought I would break down and cry when I stepped into the office earlier but well..I've been kept damn busy by The Gulag. I havent really "cried it out"...except for the occasional tearing. I havent..you know...let it all out. I think I am too rational to do that. But crap..it's choking from the inside.

 

Anyway thanks all for the well-wishes. The burial ceremony and everything that led to it went fine. I went over to the auntie's at about 0300hrs on Monday and her body was already home. We all took turns to read the words of the holy verses and made the necessary arrangements. At 0900hrs, the person in-charged of cleaning the body came. I joined my aunties in the cleansing process and it was truly an eye-opener. I've always been afraid of funerals and such but participating in this "mandi mayat" (literally: showering of the corpse) made me further realise that there's nothing to be afraid of.

 

By the way, the whole proces is very respecful. No naked body is exposed, save for the hands, head and feet. I just wished the person who did it didnt have to talk so much. She would have been funny if there's no corpse in front of her. Oh well...I guess she was trying to make light of the dead air in the room (hah).

 

So yeah. I saw the auntie being prepared for the funeral. She looked so serene and peaceful and that was a good closure for me. After being prepared, the body was brought back to the living room where everyone (and there were so many people!) could see her for the last time. The sister broke down...causing everyone else to break down. This was the part where I also had to carry/pick up/comfort my relatives (young and old) who collapsed or broke down. Doing all that distracted me from bawling and going all crazy myself.

 

Haha.

I am amazing.

 

We boarded the chartered bus to the cemetery. With the casket at the back of the bus, it was an utterly sombre affair, I tell you. When they passed me the sarong batik used to cover her body in the casket as they lowered her body into the grave hole, woah...I couldnt take it. That was when the tears flowed. This was also the part where the cousin lost it. He had been steady all this while at his mother's demise but when he saw the body being placed in the ground, he lost it. He had to be supported by his father. My heart went out to him. What a year for him..PSLE, mother's escalating sicknes, PSLE results, preparation for secondary school and mother's death 4 days before he turns 12.

 

So that's how it ends, actually.

 

On Sunday, the father and I got home from the hospital at 1000hrs as I couldnt take it anymore. That morning, I was with the auntie from 0600hrs till then because my uncle had to leave for work. The father was resting outside and the mother accompanied me intermittently inside. The auntie was in a daze...alternating betwen being conscious and otherwise. She was in so much pain and she kept touching her head cause she was having terrible headaches. She was also pulling out the oxygen aid..so much so that that nurse gave her an oxygen mask. But she kept pulling that out too and in the end, I had to hold the mask to her face for almost 3 hours.

 

But there was one thing amazing/peculiar. At around 0700hrs, when the mother went out to take a break, the auntie spoke to me. She hadnt been speaking for a few days already and suddenly she asked me:

 

Shira..Shira (my sister) dah balik?

 

It was not loud but it was clear and fluent. I was like .. what? Of course, those were to be her last words. She didnt say anything else for the rest of the day, right to her passing on Sunday at 2340hrs. Maybe it was a coincidence but the sister and I were at home in our bedroom when she died and during the time of death, we smelled something funny in the room.

 

(I am sorry if the conversation sounded stupid but it did go like this)

 

Ed: Did you fart?

Sis: No, I didnt.

Ed: Why did you fart? So smelly!

 

The smell grew.

 

Sis: Ew! Did you fart?

Ed: No. Did YOU fart?

Sis: Woah so smelly!

Ed: (shouting outside the window in Malay, targeting the neighbours) Hey! Has it been 10 years since your last shit?

Sis: Walao eh!!

 

Then the sister went out to the kitchen to get some food and then the phone rang. She died.

 

 

 

###

She's gone

Inalillah wainaillaihi rajiun.

Rosnah Binte Misban
1960 - 2009


I love you, my dearest Bibik.


###

Survivor

It's past midnight and here I am, blogging at the hospital lounge area...in the dark. The auntie's blood pressure is just steadily falling but she is still struggling to fight and continue on.

Oh well.

I visited my newborn niece just now. Yes, finally...16 days after her birth. She looks so tiny. Ok..duh.

All right. I feel so out of touch with the social world. Havent me friend for 4 days. No time and no mood also. But nevertheless, I thank thee all for your kind wishes and support. Thank you for the prayers and words of encouragement. Much appreciated, seriously.

Ok..done.


###

Cry me out

There hasnt been much yummilicious food at home lately but today, on the day that I choose to fast (auspicious date), there is a bowl of bloody Indian Rojak in the kitchen.

Hoo haa..woosah.

The cousin stayed over last night as he followed me back home after spending the whole day at the hospital. Hats off to all the relatives who have been rallying at SGH, keeping vigil from morning to night, and then doing it again on the following day.

Yesterday at about 1530hrs, the auntie got out of her usual daze and began to hug everyone. It was...I dont know...a scene to behold. The sky turned dark and it began to pour just when she hugged the sister, the first person she hugged. The auntie held on to her so tightly. It was so sad cause both of them were very very close. Then one by one...all of us took our turn.

I dont know how many times I said goodbye. I felt bad for wishing her a safe journey but she's not leaving yet. I told her my piece on Thursday fearing she might not be able to make it but it's Saturday now and she's still in her critical stage. She survived her 24-hr deadline. Doctor said if she could do that, she would be able to have one more month but...look at her. SHE IS IN PAIN!

Anyway, I am beyond denial, anger and depression. I have come to acceptance and it is quite a beautiful place. It's just that now, I am very tired (heh, and hungry). But then, how tired can I be compared to my older aunties who have been at the hospital 20 hrs a day? How tired can I be compared to the uncle who has to run to work, run to hospital and run to take care of things for his son who is starting secondary school/teen life next week?

How tired can you be, Ed?

Haha, no.
Not at all.


P/S: There were times when I wanted to read some holy verses to the auntie and I got distracted as she struggled to stay alive. For some strange reasons, the only verses I could remember was prayers to eat (doa makan).

###

God rest ye merry gentlemen

It has been 12 hours since my previous entry. I just got home from the hospital. It has been physically and emotionally draining and I dont know what to hope for anymore.

But I do know one thing. I do know if she were to go, her soul would probably be at a better place right now.

Am brewing a major headache and super bloodshot eyes. Throughout the bedside vigil, sinus issues attacked again (this has been acting quite recently lately) and I stood there making sure that both my eyes and nose dont run.

The truth sucked. Doctor gave her 24 hours to live. That means her deadline is 2000hrs tonight. Of course this is the doctor's prediction and we know the truth can come sooner or later.

Anyway just want to say I made my peace. I have told her that I love her, I thanked her for her love and care and I assured her that I would help to look after her son (my cousin) the best way I know how. Told her everything would be okay and that we would get by when she's gone. Told her we would always love her and that there's nothing to worry about. She nodded.

Okay my eyes are failing me. Need to get some quick sleep before rushing to hospital again.


##.

Silver bells

1 hour ago the world seemed fine. I watched Santa Clause on TV and the mother came home with food. Then, 15 minutes ago we received a phone call and the auntie is in a higly critical condition.

We're off to the hospital now. To those who believe it is a season of joy and miracle, do pray for the best. I am not sure if I should pray for health or painless exit but I know my Allah knows best.

We'll accept.

###

If it kills me

Pardon me for being a little bit sappy. It's the time of the year maybe. Hey be thankful that I am not putting clips after clips of my most favourite love stories, okay.

Anyway, here's Mraz to usher in my 'lepak' mode. I would really love to say that the following song is about me pining for someone (a friend, acquaintance or anything) but sadly, there's no one whom I can "dedicate" this to. It's damn rare that I dont have someone in mind...a crush or anything like that. It's so boring. I miss having a crush.

Okay lah Lauren...this is for you. Wahahahaha.



Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Cause you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

Well how long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all

Baby there's a lot that I miss
In case I'm wrong

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said I would
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me
It's a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me


P/S: Just kill me already.

P/P/S: I love you, Mraz. Does this count?


###

Come all ye faithful

ALAMAK!!

 

Was supposed to fast for half a day...to train for the coming Saturday fast (some auspicious Muslim date - 9th Muharram). Obviously I forgot. Had turkey bacon sandwich for breakfast at 0900hrs and then ayam penyet for lunch at 1400hrs.

 

Crap.

Epic fail.

 

 

###

Belle of the boulevard

Just realised that I am not working tomorrow. Forgot that the company had "forced" us to take the morning 1/2 day off, with the second part of the day given free. Am not scheduled to work on Saturday also.

 

So I have 4 days off and..doo doo doo..no plans.

 

I see myself surrounded by books over the bloody weekend.

 

I need to finish 2 textbooks (which is impossible to do over the weekend. I need one more year!) and one academic journal.

 

Merry effing Christmas.

 

 

P/S: But tonight, we'll do a karaoke!

 

 

###

Memento mori

 

Cras amet qui nunquam amavit; quique amavit, cras amet.

Amen.

 

 

May he love tomorrow who has never loved before;

And may he who has loved, love tomorrow as well.

 

 

###

Beautiful disaster

I havent got the strength to play Wii...dont have the chance to get the TV also. So what do I do?

Well this is the next best thing.

(Air) Guitar Hero.




Love this song.


P/S: AVATAR was awesome man!!!!! I can go in depth and talk about its socio-political relevance and all that mambo-jumbo but I'm not going to do that because truth be told...storyline-wise, it's just like another episode of Captain Planet. But the ingenuity behind all the technology is ..wow..mind-boggling. I'm not worthy, James Cameron!


###

It's not unusual

I am dead beat. It's slightly past 2000hrs and I am going home from the ofice, barely with a lunch today. Work is always a pile of mess but...I am slowly completing it before the year ends.

 

Right...who am I kidding.

 

Sigh.

 

 

###

Laskar pelangi

Am marking like crazy.

 

Headache.

 

Migraine.

 

Died.

 

 

 

###

It has been quite a while. Been feeling the pits for the past week. Took leave on Monday...the company's medical card couldnt even cover the cost of the clinic visit. As I was waiting for my turn among the sea of sick people, I got even sicker from their virus. When I got the bill, I wanted to die there and then.

Planned to go Escape Theme Park today with some students but it rained so heavily we had to shelf it. Stayed at work till 1730hrs, granted I came 2 hrs late at 1100hrs. Went out with Lauren last night and when she sent me home, i stumbled my way home like a drunkard. Had a really really terrible headache on the way home.

Talking about headache, I have been having this really biting headaches for the past week. I assume it's migraine (I dont know how migraine is like cause no one told me I have it) cause the headaches are really damn one kind. Been wanting to pass out for the past few days. So anyway, last night, when I eventually found my way home, I immediately passed out without showering and setting my alarm clock for work.

Oooh my head. Can feel the headache is coming. Maybe it's the medicine doing its trick, asking me to rest. Will try to sit through the Fulham-Man U match before calling it a day.

P/S: The headache is affecting my eyes...maybe this is a sign of worse things to come.

###

No regrets

I am still tired, still on meds (though in declining dosage and frequency) and still swamped with work. I only have time to reminisce this before I hit the bed.

I shall sum this year with this song.




"No regrets
Tey don't work
No regrets
They only hurt
Sing me a love song
Drop me a line
Suppose it's just a point of view
But they tell me I'm doing fine"

The mother mentioned something about being tired, needing a break, why am I not on a school holiday...yada yada. Mother, I dont know. I am very tired, Mother. We can take a break next year. Hang on in there.


###

Allah Hoo

So much for wishing for the year to end.

Right now, I am drowning in a sea of crap known as "Work" and I need December to stretch itself so that I can complete all the nonsense before the year ends.

And talking about year, tomorrow is 1 Muharram, the Muslim New Year.

Muharram is one of 4 holy months of the year in which fighting is banned. Some Muslims fast during these days. Sunni Muslims also fast during Muharram and on either the ninth or the eleventh day, the choice of which additional day being at the discretion of the individual.

The Day of Ashura is on the 10th day of Muharram in the Islamic calendar and marks the climax of the Remembrance of Muharram. Sunni Muslims (some...not well credited here) believe that Moses fasted on that day to express gratitude to God for liberation of Israelites from Egypt. According to Sunni Muslim tradition, Muhammad fasted on this day and asked other people to fast.

So, happy new year, fellow Muslims.


###

Away in the manger

- I am swamped with work.

 

- I havent even met my new niece, Nur Emma Natalia...who was born on the sister's birthday - 10th Dec.

 

- My last movie is still Zombieland.

 

- I havent got the energy and strength to clean my toilet.

 

- I havent got well. In fact, I've resigned to the fact that I will end the year in abject misery and disease.

 

- My throat is going crazy. Everything tastes either too salty or too bitter. Bloody medication.

 

- I am getting broke.

 

- I have started singing and talking randomly at work.

 

- Did I mention everything taste so salty? EVERYTHING IS SO SALTY!

 

 

###

Zhen de ai ni

It was A-Go-Go's birthday so I met her and JLo at work, did some work and we left for Dempsey at 1845hrs. CY2 joined us soon after, after her pole dance class. 3 hours later, we were at Cash Studio singing dance songs and croaking our way to horrid land.

We had 'Yap Ah Loy' joining us at KTV. Yap Ah Loy was a colleague who got close to A-Go-Go...how close? I dont know and I dont care. But yeah, he was there and A-Go-Go wanted to hitch him up with CY2 but A-Go-Go did such a bad job promoting him haha.

Anyway, this Ah Loy could only sing Cantonese songs (I know..). It was quite weird at first cause there we were belting out Gaga after Gaga, BEP and Beyonce after another and there he was singing Chi Lam's songs. Anyway, I told Ah Loy I could join him if he chose songs by Beyond. He did choose 2 - Hai Kuo Tian Kong and Amani.

"Yun nong ngor zei yat sun butt gei fong zong ngoi ji yao
Ya woui pa yao yat tin wui tit tou ououou oh noooo
Pui hei lieu loeuy seong
Soui yan dou hor yi
Na woui pa yao yat tin qit ngei gong ngor"

Forgive me for being wild and yearning for freedom
Yet fearing someday I might fall down (Ed: He did fall and die!)
To give up a dream isn't hard for everyone
Never mind if someday there's only you and me

Anyway, it made me gush over Wong Ka-Kui all over again. Gosh, his voice, his ideals and his words, they were so magical. If only he hadnt left us so soon...:(

I still miss you Ka-Kui and this may sound silly, may Allah bless your soul.






...and 6 more of these.

Sob.


###

Amani

Bloody idiots. How could we lose to Aston Villa...on home ground. Dammit, man.

Come on guys, it's almost mid season!

Love can move mountains

Ah..ah..choo!!

 

I cant live my life with constant flu and sinus, can I?

 

I rested. Enough? I dont know. Rest is never enough.

 

Nose, live your life be free.

 

 

 

P/S: Had a class barbecue session with the students last night and well, my firestarting skill has improved. Under 30 minutes...without help. Gosh, I sounded so lame.

 

P/P/S: Ismail and Tini are getting married tomorrow! Hooray!!

 

 

###

Zombie

ZOMBIELAND WAS AWESOME!!!!!!


I love the movie, man. Blood, gore, shockfest, nerdy boy (I like) and a tinge of romance. I love it!



###

Steam

Promotion.

 

With great powers, come great responsibilities.

 

All I wanted was to just be carefree.

 

Alas...

 

 

 

 

P/S: But I am thankful, God. Alhamdulillah.

 

 

###

Mr Wendal

Something kind of cool happened at work today but I cant make it official because no official declaration has been made. But yes, it's economically and (sigh) politically inclined.

Wait wait...dont jump into conclusions.

You never know how deep they are.

Just hang on for my official message, my fellow working class heroes.



###

When the children cry

Another one of 'us' again.

What's up with us Malay abusing children?

The irony is that we make so many of them.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man molested six young girls over eight months
By Ong Dai Lin, TODAY Posted: 09 December 2009 0700 hrs

SINGAPORE: The one-year-old girl was walking behind her mother along the common corridor when their male neighbour picked the toddler up and kissed her on the lips.

When the mother, who was pushing a pram and carrying a six-month-old baby, realised that her daughter was no longer walking behind her, she stopped and saw Salim Abdul Rahman, 49, kissing the child.

The girl's mother shouted at him to put her down. She filed a police report a month later.

On Tuesday, Salim pleaded guilty to outraging the modesty of six underaged girls over a period of eight months, starting with the toddler.

On June 25, he approached a nine-year-old girl who was walking home after attending a tuition class and asked her for directions to the market.

He insisted on getting her help, even though she said she did not know the way and wanted to go home.

Salim grabbed her hand and led her to a staircase landing at a block of flats, where he touched her private parts. He fled when the girl started to cry loudly.

A month later, Salim approached another nine-year-old girl to help him look for his house keys. He then took the girl to a staircase landing where he hugged her. The frightened girl said she wanted to go home, and he allowed her to leave.

For more, it's here:
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1023538/1/.html

Autumn leaves

I am too tired to even switch on Snow White when I get home.

 

Excuse me while I catch my breath.

 

 

 

P/S: Congratulations Tan Kay Hong and wife!

 

P/P/S: Mail and Tini...4 more days!!!!!

 

 

 

###

Meet me halfway

It's 2 months to my next travel destination and as usual, I like to keep things undecided till the end. A good reason is that Meiling, my travel mate, is going on her holiday next week to Denmark/Norway. We will only discuss stuff when she comes back on New Year's Day. Denmark and Norway...cool or what?!

Am planning 2 major holidays next year. The first will be in February during my Chinese New Year break. It's a toss between Vietnam and Nepal (yeah, been talking about it eversince I was 18!). I must also consider that I have to be back on the 20th of Feb (or early morning of the 21st the latest) because of our dear Sha's wedding. I definitely dont want to miss that one for the world.

The other one would probably be my much postponed trip with Lao Lee to Spain. That will be in th later half of the year, after funds have been recouped and tripled.

2010 sounds crazy already.


###

Cant fight this feeling

Not feeling at the top of the world.

Not that there are many who do in the first place.

 

Caught a chill in the train and had a sneezing fit in the office the whole morning. Right now, I have developed a headache from all that sneezing and a very uncomfortable feeling in my eyes. I dont think it's lack of sleep cause I had more than 5 hours of sleep last night. Things went fine until I got off the train and into the office.

 

Hmmm...maybe it's psychological.

Hah.

 

Pop 2 pills and ..zzzzzzzz.

 

 

P/S: Gulag has been asking me for weird stuff lately.

 

 

###

Bye bye love

6th Dec @ 0730hrs
Got back an hour ago. Am showered and clean...and I cant feel my legs

Oh went to Johor just. Got home at 2030hrs and left for Clarke Quay an hour later. Wowsa.

1030hrs
Niece dragged me out bed. We caught NEW MOON. I love it. Unfortunately, I love it more when R-Patz was not in the picture, that pale, six-packless vampire. Team Jacob!

1630hrs
To bed, to bed!

1730hrs
Argh...time to meet Meiling for another movie. Couples Retreat would have more meaning...if I have a partner. But I dont and I think it is just awrite for me (the movie)

2350hrs
Here I am wishing the weekend (and maybe the money) didnt have to end so soon. So many other stuff I still want to do (and buy).

###
##

Beyond here lies nothin'

The Grammy Awards nominees are out.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Record Of The Year
Halo - Beyoncé
I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon)
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Album Of The Year
I Am… Sasha Fierce - Beyoncé
The E.N.D. - The Black Eyed Peas
The Fame - Lady Gaga
Big Whiskey And The Groogrux King - Dave Matthews Band
Fearless - Taylor Swift

Song Of The Year
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Pretty Wings - Maxwell
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) - Beyoncé
Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Best New Artist
Zac Brown Band
Keri Hilson
MGMT
Silversun Pickups
The Ting Tings

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
Hometown Glory - Adele
Halo - Beyoncé
Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
Sober - Pink
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance
This Time - John Legend
Love You - Maxwell
Make It Mine - Jason Mraz
If You Don't Know Me By Now - Seal
All About The Love Again - Stevie Wonder

Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
We Weren't Born To Follow - Bon Jovi
Never Say Never - The Fray
Sara Smile - Daryl Hall & John Oates
Kids - MGMT

Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals
Sea Of Heartbreak - Rosanne Cash & Bruce Springsteen
Love Sex Magic - Ciara & Justin Timberlake
Lucky - Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat
Baby, It's Cold Outside - Willie Nelson & Norah Jones
Breathe - Taylor Swift & Colbie Caillat

Best Pop Vocal Album
The E.N.D. - The Black Eyed Peas
Breakthrough - Colbie Caillat
All I Ever Wanted - Kelly Clarkson
The Fray - The Fray
Funhouse - Pink

Best Dance Recording
Boom Boom Pow - The Black Eyed Peas
When Love Takes Over - David Guetta & Kelly Rowland
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Celebration - Madonna
Womanizer - Britney Spears

Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance
Beyond Here Lies Nothin' - Bob Dylan
Change In The Weather - John Fogerty
Dreamer - Prince
Working On A Dream - Bruce Springsteen
Fork In The Road - Neil Young

Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
Can't Find My Way Home - Eric Clapton & Steve Winwood
Life In Technicolor II - Coldplay
21 Guns - Green Day
Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon
I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight - U2

Best Rock Song
The Fixer (Pearl Jam)
I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight (U2)
21 Guns (Green Day)
Use Somebody (Kings Of Leon)
Working On A Dream (Bruce Springsteen)

Best Rock Album
Black Ice - AC/DC
Live From Madison Square Garden - Eric Clapton & Steve Winwood
21st Century Breakdown - Green Day
Big Whiskey And The Groogrux King - Dave Matthews Band
No Line On The Horizon - U2

Best Alternative Music Album
Everything That Happens Will Happen Today - David Byrne & Brian Eno
The Open Door - Death Cab For Cutie
Sounds Of The Universe - Depeche Mode
Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix - Phoenix
It's Blitz! - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) - Beyoncé
It Kills Me - Melanie Fiona
That Was Then - Lalah Hathaway
Goin' Thru Changes - Ledisi
Lions, Tigers & Bears - Jazmine Sullivan

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance
The Point Of It All - Anthony Hamilton
Pretty Wings - Maxwell
Sobeautiful - Musiq Soulchild
Under - Pleasure P
There Goes My Baby - Charlie Wilson

Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
Blame It - Jamie Foxx & T-Pain
Chocolate High - India.Arie & Musiq Soulchild
Ifuleave - Musiq Soulchild & Mary J. Blige
Higher Ground - Robert Randolph & The Clark Sisters
Love Has Finally Come At Last - Calvin Richardson & Ann Nesby

Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance
At Last - Beyoncé
Soul Music - Anthony Hamilton
Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight - Boney James & Quinn
Sow Love - Ann Nesby
Woman Gotta Have It - Calvin Richardson

Best Urban/Alternative Performance
Daykeeper - The Foreign Exchange
All Matter - Robert Glasper & Bilal
Pearls - India.Arie & Dobet Gnahore
A Tale Of Two - Eric Roberson, Ben O'Neill & Michelle Thompson
Blend - Tonex

Best R&B Song
Blame It (Jamie Foxx & T-Pain)
Lions, Tigers & Bears (Jazmine Sullivan)
Pretty Wings (Maxwell)
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) (Beyoncé)
Track from: I Am… Sasha Fierce
Under (Pleasure P)

Best R&B Album
The Point Of It All - Anthony Hamilton
Testimony: Vol. 2, Love & Politics - India.Arie
Turn Me Loose - Ledisi
Blacksummers' Night - Maxwell
Uncle Charlie - Charlie Wilson

Best Contemporary R&B Album
I Am… Sasha Fierce-Beyoncé
Intuition-Jamie Foxx
The Introduction Of Marcus Cooper-Pleasure P
Ready-Trey Songz
Thr33 Ringz-T-Pain

Best Rap Solo Performance
Best I Ever Had-Drake
Beautiful-Eminem
D.O.A. (Death Of Auto-Tune)-Jay-Z
Day 'N' Nite-Kid Cudi
Casa Bey-Mos Def

Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group
Too Many Rappers-Beastie Boys & Nas
Crack A Bottle-Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent
Money Goes, Honey Stay-Fabolous & Jay-Z
Make Her Say-Kid Cudi, Kanye West & Common
Amazing-Kanye West & Young Jeezy

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
Ego-Beyoncé & Kanye West
Knock You Down-Keri Hilson, Kanye West & Ne-Yo
Run This Town-Jay-Z, Rihanna & Kanye West
I'm On A Boat-The Lonely Island & T-Pain
Dead And Gone-T.I. & Justin Timberlake

Best Rap Song
Best I Ever Had (Drake)
Day 'N' Nite (Kid Cudi)
Dead And Gone (T.I. & Justin Timberlake)
Track from: Paper Trail
D.O.A. (Death Of Auto-Tune) (Jay-Z)
Run This Town (Jay-Z, Rihanna & Kanye West)

Best Rap Album
Universal Mind Control-Common
Relapse-Eminem
R.O.O.T.S.-Flo Rida
The Ecstatic-Mos Def
The Renaissance-Q-Tip

Best Female Country Vocal Performance
Dead Flowers-Miranda Lambert
I Just Call You Mine-Martina McBride
White Horse-Taylor Swift
Just A Dream-Carrie Underwood
Solitary Thinkin'-Lee Ann Womack

Best Male Country Vocal Performance
All I Ask For Anymore-Trace Adkins
People Are Crazy-Billy Currington
High Cost Of Living-Jamey Johnson
Living For The Night-George Strait
Sweet Thing-Keith Urban

Best Country Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
Cowgirls Don't Cry-Brooks & Dunn
Chicken Fried-Zac Brown Band
I Run To You-Lady Antebellum
Here Comes Goodbye-Rascal Flatts
It Happens-Sugarland

Best Country Collaboration With Vocals
Beautiful World-Dierks Bentley & Patty Griffin
Down The Road-Kenny Chesney & Mac McAnally
Start A Band-Brad Paisley & Keith Urban
I Told You So-Carrie Underwood & Randy Travis
Everything But Quits-Lee Ann Womack & George Strait

Best Country Song
All I Ask For Anymore (Trace Adkins)
High Cost Of Living (Jamey Johnson)
I Run To You (Lady Antebellum)
Track from: Lady Antebellum
People Are Crazy (Billy Currington)
White Horse (Taylor Swift)

Best Country Album
The Foundation-Zac Brown Band
Twang-George Strait
Fearless-Taylor Swift
Defying Gravity-Keith Urban
Call Me Crazy-Lee Ann Womack


###

My hero

When there is a problem, everyone is quick to defend him or herself and pin the blame to somebody else. Normal stuff, right?

 

But I think I was 'man' enough to apologise today when everybody else didnt seem wanting to do so. I had to stop the emails and the concealed anger/frustration everyone was facing. Don't accuse me of being a doormat and apologise for the sake of it. I actually thought it was the logical and humble thing to do..get hold of the problem and move ahead. If they dont see it that way, it's okay. Only God knows how and why.

 

And I think I did okay - not only did I apologise, I broke the problem down and actually offered a solution. I thought that took a "smart man" to do it. Oh well.

 

Oh, a 'mentor' is leaving for greener pastures.

C'est la vie.

 

Too alarming now to talk about
Take your pictures down and shake it out
Truth or consequence, say it aloud
Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

Don't the best of them bleed it out
While the rest of them peter out
Truth or consequence, say it aloud
Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

Kudos my hero leaving all the best
You know my hero, the one that's on

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary - My Hero, Foo Fighters

 

 

###

 

 

Devil woman

I survived on 2.5 hours today. I know it is not healthy because we all know everyone needs sleep to re-energise and repair one's body because night time (or should I say, wee hours in the morning) is the time for myself. I dont do much just light reading off the Internet and stuff but it's my time, you say. I am already clouded with deadlines at work and I dont want sleep to be my deadline of the day.

 

No...getting a night job will kill away my spacing-out time.

 

 

###

Death is not the end

I am very tired and very distracted. If there's a good time to do a sabbatical, it will be right now.

 

I spent my waking hours today at the hospital, accompanying the cancer-auntie and the cousin. I could see that the presence of her son and her niece cheered her up and that's good to know. She was more responsive today but it's still a depressing sight. She understood what we were trying to say but when it came to her to express herself, she could only point and gesticulate. It was like a very sad charade.

 

The oldest uncle came to visit around 1730hrs and an hour later, he offered to take the cousin home. When the cousin wanted to kiss his mother goodbye, she held on to his hand. She still wanted him to be by her side and so I went to the waiting room and told the uncle that the cousin would not be going off with him.

 

I told my auntie that I'd bring her son home. She then motioned something about me bringing the son to my place so that he could stay overnight at Ang Mo Kio. You see, my uncle (cancer-auntie's hubby) is on afternoon shift and would only be back at midnight and so, she's worried about her son being home alone.

 

At about 2000hrs, the sister, the cousin and I finally bade my auntie goodbye. Could see that she was reluctant to see us go. I couldnt bear to leave because it's still early (visiting time ends at 2030hrs) but I was so darn tired. The sister rode to Hougang while the cousin and I took the NEL train to Kovan and then took a bus to his place. The Hougang house was in a mess. Did a little chores here and there while the bloody idiotic cousin went straight to his computer game.

 

At 2330hrs, here I am, ending my day.

 

It's back to work tomorrow and you know what, my mind is really ... blank. I am so emotionally tired that there's nothing else occupying my brain except for the thoughts of her. Last night after tha Barca-Real Madrid match (around 0400hrs), I stayed up till around 0600hrs reading about signs of death. Call me morbid but I really want to prepare myself.

 

So now I know the signs of death.

And I begin to see all of them around me.

 

Gosh.

 

 

###

 

 

 

 

I started a joke

They got married on April Fool's Day, haha.

The mother wanted to go to the botanical garden in the afternoon and we all got ready to leave at 1500hrs. We were about to leave when we got a call that cancer-auntie had fits.

When we arrived, the ambulance had just taken her away. Her hubby and two of my aunties had gone with her also, leaving her son (my cousin) at home. So we accompanied him for a while until we heard further news. The uncle said the auntie was still in the emergency ward and things were still uncertain. He told us to wait a while.

We got restless waiting at the Hougang house and so, the mother, cousin. Lexie and I decided to go to Vivocity to cheer the cousin up. He was behaving slightly indifferent to his 'chaotic' surrounding but I guess that's just his defence mechanism.

We hung around Vivocity and waited for further notice. At around 1845hrs, we left for the General Hospital. My other relatives were all at the foodcourt...gathering before seeing the auntie. The hospital has this idiotic rule of allowing only 2 people to visit a patient at a time so it makes it hard for all of us to go in.

I know why the rule is created...but I cant help being..urgh..about it because it is inconvenient.

At around 2000hrs we all left foodcourt and lingered at the lobby. Remember the 2-ppl rule? Well, 2 people were given green stickers and one can only enter the wards if you have a sticker on you. I went roaming for a sticker, hoping that somebody will paste it on a wall after visiting a friend. I resorted to asking an old lady who was on her way out of the hospital for her sticker.

So I went up to see the auntie. I really wish things didnt have to come to this - seeing her so worse for wear.

Because the 2-ppl rule of the hospital is flawed (you just pass the stickers around), all of us ended up being able to visit the auntie at the same time. We massaged her, gave her words of encouragement...some cried in a corner..etc. The mother and other aunties wept while I ... choked so many times on my tears. The cancer ward was depressing. Across the hall way, a lady was moaning for her mother in another ward. God knows if her mother is still alive or not. You know, when one is dying, one has weird desires or visions.

I looked at the auntie and I actually forgot how to read Al-Fatihah, a prayer verse Muslims read at least 10 times a day. I was stuck at the opening line as I stood there looking at her. I panicked...and had to walk away to clear my mind. Words came back thankfully. If I couldnt remember the verse at all, I should panic cause I could be the one who was dying. In a less glorious manner some more.

The auntie just turned 49 last week. She, the figure in front of me, was a shadow of her past vitality. All bald, skin and bones. Uncommunicative.

I saw her holding on to her hubby'ss hand, bringing his hand to her cheek. That is love, my friends. Sticking through thick and thin, through health and sickness, through good and bad, till death do you apart.

We all left around 2130hrs when the guards 'chased' us away. We were reluctant of course. Tomorrow, I am suppose to accompany the cousin at the hospital because the uncle is working afternoon shift. I actually had taken the day off tomorrow to catch up on sleep and a bit of work at my own leisure pace. On hindsight, it's like I kind of know, haha.

All right. Ibrahimovic had just scored for Barcelona, against Real Madrid and that's how things are supposed to be. Funny how watching a football match can soothe the sad soul in me. I guess I've developed the skill of finding peace among the chaos around me.

Haha, that's kind of hardcore, yeah?

P/S: Friends and frienemies, I'll ask of one thing from you - please pray for my auntie, Rosnah Binte Misban. Whatever faiths or beliefs, I'll appreciate it. I can not ask for more.

###

Do they know it's Christmas?

They're singin' "Deck the Halls"
But its not like Christmas at all
I remember when you were here
And all the fun we had last year

(Christmas) Oh, the snow's coming down
(Christmas) Now I'm watching it fall
(Christmas) All the people around
(Christmas) Baby please come home

(Christmas) Now the church bells in town
(Christmas) Oh, they're singing our song
(Christmas) Oh, what a happy sound
(Christmas) Baby please come home

...last Christmas, I was in India.
I even had a 'white' Xmas. Sweet.

...

Caught the dark and twisty A Christmas Carol and though I have seen the likes many before, I must say, this one really sticks to the original genius that of Dickens. It is difficult to understand due to the accent and dialogue but a good movie will not neglect you and that's what this animation does- it pulls you along.

Now, let me get reacquainted with Charles Dickens ("Dharles Chickens" when I was growing up) and absorb the litarary goodness.

Pity the world doesnt think much about spending time reading.


###

Fixing a hole

I wish I was more open with the parents sometimes. I wish we had all been tighter especially when I was growing up. I wish I shared with them my growing pains and I wish I cried into their arms for every failure I had, for every broken friendship, for every guy who broke my heart, instead of taking the pain..you know..somewhere else.

I wish I told the father, so that he could beat the living daylights out of those jerks who took the first hug, the first kiss, the first whatever. I know he could and he definitely would, the father.

And so I grow up believing that if I could not share anything with the family, then there's no one worthy of sharing things with. I am guarded cause in my bubble, I only have myself to comfort me. No one has ever gotten the 'whole' picture with me and there's always something up for censure. I

've ever let loose because I don't want to, because I know what backlashes are. I know whatever the consequences are and whatever your loved ones will say, no one can be with you all of the time except, well, yourself.

This is my wall.
But I know
Just like the one in Belin
The wall will one day come down
One day my 'democracy' will come.


P/S: I am almost 20 days late, but happy anniversary Berlin crumbs.


###

Joget kesyukuran

''Labaikallahuma labaik..''

A very warm Eid-ul-Adha greeting to all and well, hope this festival of sacrifice sees us well. I couldnt do the festive prayer this morning cause I still havent done with the stupid period and all. I also woke up late...comatosed on my laptop last night after a long day at work.

The festival didnt see my family doing much this time round. We didnt visit Queen E today...maybe tomorrow. The mother, the brother and wife, Lexie and me headed to my auntie (the stricken one)'s place and we spent the afternoon at her place. I had my cousins and aunties/uncles coming over as well, a reunion of sort. Though the cancer-auntie, hubby and son havent done the Haj but I feel they have been doing a hell lot of sacrifice ('korban').

I am useless. What have I been sacrificing anyway? So today...I sacrificed my last $10 (yes, it's a tight month) and gave it to my cousin (cancer-auntie's son). I only have $5 to last till Tuesday but I think today, it's the least I could do. I also did a bit of cleaning up around the auntie's house and helped the cousin registered for his Sec 1 school posting. I stopped short of offering to take care of my auntie on Sunday. I..I..I really dont think I can do it. I dont want to sit beside her and cry..and cry..and cry.

She, bald and ultra weak, can no longer move on her own. She has lost the use of her right hand and legs, can barely string sentences together, cries when she cant get her message across, slowly losing her memory...all the things one experiences when life has become almost terminal. It was heartbreaking and escaped to the kitchen...washing all the dirty dishes, scrubbing the stove, going downstairs to buy drinks..etc. Yes, I am a denying escapist in that way. If you ignore it, it will soon go away, right?

How I wish I'm right.

P/S: But all this doesn't mean I am not thankful, lord. I'm thankful for each day you gave the auntie, the family, the friends and me. I'm thankful for the good food and the good health you have bestowed on the rest of us. I'm thankful that you allow all of us to bond together in this of need.

###

Dancing in the dark

Come on. 10 more mins and we are down by one. It's common sense to know that if centre is crowded and tight, you attack from the sides. Even I know that. Huwaaaaargh.

Keep holding on

SingTel Mio screwed me up big time this morning. For some reason, I couldnt watch the Barcelona vs. Inter match on Channel 61 this morning. The screen kept asking me to go buy the channel in order to view it. But..HELLO! I subscribe to FootballFrenzy, right? So...what is the problem?

 

So I called their 24hr support office and was kept on hold for almost 2 hours..that's the length of the freaking game. Because of that, I couldnt even concentrate on the Debrecen/Liverpool match. During the first 45 minutes (at the matches started at 0345hrs mind you), I even had my handphone and the home phone stuck on my ears. Bloody idiot. It better not happen tonight. No on the channel which will telecast Man U/Besiktas game (Channel 63).

 

Ugh.

 

And the public talk is tonight. I am a bit nervous. But otherwise, I am fine. It's just an hour. It will all be over soon.

 

Ommm.

 

 

###

Down

So it's 0-0 for Rubin Kazan and Dynamo Kiev,with the former having more possession. Am waiting for the following 3 matches due in about 15 minutes' time:

1) Barca vs. Inter
2) Debrecen vs. Liverpool
3) Fiorentina vs. Lyon

The match between Barca and Inter will be epic in a way because it's a clash of the titans. I like Barca and Inter and I think it will be a great match.

Yet, I think I will be distracted by the 2nd match...as I fervently pray that Liverpool will lose this match and get the hell out of the Champions' League. Benitez and his men can go eat dust. Stubborn manager and his poor players. Liverpool are also banking for Lyon to beat Fiorentina. You see, Lyon has already qualified and if Lyon wins this match, Liverpool might have a glimmer of hope to get to the knockout phase SHOULD they win over Debrecen and have a final game against Fiorentina (and win them).

Should Fiorentina win this, it's all over for Reds even if they win against Debrecen.

Any prospect of Liverpool crash and burn is always exciting to me.

Okay.
Starting.

I'm a Fiorentina's supporter tonight.
And probably Debrecen's too.


###

We are golden

My eyes are going to fail me soon. Each day they get more and more blurry. Think it's time to change the speckies. Argh. I just want to see how long more before I go blind. Er..okay, I take that back. Ampun Tuhan. I dont want to go blind. Acah ajer.

 

Am having Nescafe Frappe and hot tea at the same time because my KFC breakfast of twister wrap and tea comes with a free Frappe (some card promotion thing). Must drink tea before it turns cold...must drink coffee before all the ice cubes melt and the coffee becomes..bleurgh yeech...lukewarm. Am really having a weird-out time thinking which one to sip next. And no, I am not letting one of them go to waste. It's $4.90!

 

Listen to you, Ed!

It's less than $5!

 

*shut up, Voice!"

 

As you read earlier, my usual breakfast is the $1.40 porridge/youtiao from Old Chang Kee. I was too embarrassed to get them today because it's always the same person serving me. Today, I told myself not to be a cheapo and go for something else. Serves me right. The Fraape/tea will soon give me a stomachache and my "expensive" breakfast will all be literally flushed away.

 

Ed, tomorrow is the public lecture.

You should be panicking.

 

*shut up, Voice"

 

Sorry, am having a schizophreniac morning as you can see/read. It's the Frappe/tea talking.

 

I just found out that the yam paste dessert (orh nee), in some eateries, has lard in it. I am devastated. Why must they put lard in all these food? Why cant you stick to a healthier, "universal" choice? Not that I'll eat it outside but I just hate the thought that next time, if I feel like eating it, I have to make sure that there's no lard in it. It's freaking yam paste! What if a vegetarian/Muslim/Jew wants to eat it? *grumbles*grumbles*

 

I wanted to pen something...but I forgot what it was.

Thinks hard.

..

..

..

 

Oh I remember. I just wanted to say that US dollar is plummeting and wow, it's a good time to travel there or to buy the currency. I mean, who are we kidding, it will go up eventually but we dont know when right? Maybe I will go get ("get" hahahha") me some Benjamins next week, you know..just to start in this currency exchange trivial pursuit. I guess, that will be my savings from now on. All my savings will be converted to US dollars and I will keep them under my pilow. I cant put it in my POSB account, right? So under the pillow, they shall be.

 

And one more thing, the price of gold is bloody soaring. I have stopped dabbling in gold and in China markets because I realised I dont have money to do it anymore. It's funny that I used to do all these investment/insurance nonsense when I was younger and poorer. Now that I am older, I realise...fuck it. I  need my money for my daily survival. What can I say...I am not a planner. I live for today. That, my friend, is something I really need to look at. I dont want to be old and penniless. :(

 

Back to gold, I think I should start investing in again. Diamonds, pearls, etc, are nice to have but ultimately they have no stock value. It's the gaudy old gold which eventually can make you a fortune. Think I need to get myself to UOB (or is it OUB? Argh!) and open an account with them. This bank is the only one in Singapore which deals with gold investment...the buying and selling of cold, hard gold bars. Maybe I should rope the mother in this investment...knowing her obsession with gold.

 

Okay that's it. I will start dabbling in gold next year.

Maybe in two years' time, you guys can join me and roll around on my mountain of gold.

 

 

P/S: I am a new GLEE geek.. Gleek!

 

 

###

Taking chances

I was just done with one task (yes, just one!) 10 minutes ago and I had been working on it since 1000hrs in the morning. A lot documentation stuff for my new university programme.

 

On Wednesday, I will be conducting a talk open to the public. My mind is in a whirl I cant remember what am I going talk about. Something about media (well what else) and globalisation and stuff. You guys are free to come down to my school at 1900hrs okay? It will be great to see familiar faces though...compared to seeing the scrutinising public eyes. I hope I dont suck so bad.

 

Quite pissed for being chosen actually because I felt that I am not so worthy to give a speech. I mean...come on, who am I? I have give and take about 10 years of working experience only (and that includes all the weird odd jobs here and there) and man...what if the audience has like..30 years of job experience. I will probably just stating the obvious.

 

Plus, I have to tone down the way I speak cause in my  classes, it's always about political stuff. I am restraining myself from touching politics this Wednesday so as to protect my ass. I wanted to talk about films cause that's what I am really into but it's too niche for the public, said the sales+marketing peeps. I wanted to talk about the evolution of literary and liberal arts(modern/postmodern) and again, the peeps said no.

 

"Make it as general as possible," they said.

 

If it's so general....why wouldnt you know it?

 

Oh well.

I am so tired and it is only Monday.

 

So what if it's a short week and a long weekend for me (took leave on Monday)? It's the thought of getting through the 4-day week that is taxing. I have 2 more books to write, 3 more lessons to prepare, 3 more classes to teach, 1 freaking book review for the academic journal (why? why? I dont read academic book for leisure, okay!!) 1 public talk and endless admin/documentation work regarding the new uni programe to be completed.

 

I should just go "korban" (sacrifice) with the kambings this Hari Raya Haji.

At least they seem to have a more purposeful life.

 

 

P/S: I love me some Hari Raya Haji (Eid-ul-Adha) celebration. It's less indulgent than Hari Raya Puasa (Eid-ul-Fitri), more meaningful and there's no fasting :)

 

 

###

Room at the top

ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Taylor Swift

 

Ed: Oh yeah baby! Told you she's 2009 hot.


POP/ROCK -- Favorite Male Artist
Michael Jackson

Ed: Granted. Americans have hearts. I still rock TI, though.

 

POP/ROCK -- Favorite Female Artist
Taylor Swift

Ed: I love America!!

 

POP/ROCK -- Favorite Band, Duo or Group
The Black Eyed Peas

Ed: Must be the Boom Boom Pow effect.

POP/ROCK -- Favorite Album
"Number Ones" -- Michael Jackson

Ed: Pity votes.

COUNTRY -- Favorite Male Artist
Keith Urban

Ed: Because Nicole Kidman wore a bizarre Balenciaga gown.

 

COUNTRY -- Favorite Female Artist
Taylor Swift

Ed: Taylor cant fight Reba and Carrie vocally but hey, she's a darling and this is 'FAVOURITE' Female artist.

 

COUNTRY -- Favorite Band, Duo or Group
Rascal Flatts

Ed: Doggone it.

COUNTRY -- Favorite Album
"Fearless" -- Taylor Swift

Ed: This girl is on fire! Eat that Kanye!

RAP/HIP-HOP -- Favorite Male Artist
Jay-Z

Ed: Oh come on! I can rap better than him.

RAP/HIP-HOP - Favorite Album
"Blueprint 3" -- Jay-Z

Ed: Is the committee afraid of getting shot or something? Come on..

SOUL/R&B - Favorite Male Artist

Michael Jackson

Ed: Like Jamie Foxx and Maxwell have a chance.

SOUL/R&B -- Favorite Female Artist
Beyoncé

Ed: Queen B rules this one.

SOUL/R&B -- Favorite Band, Duo or Group
The Black Eyed Peas

Ed: It's Fergie.

SOUL/R&B -- Favorite Album
"Number Ones" -- Michael Jackson

Ed: ..but...but...but..all the single ladies all the single ladies?

 

SOUNDTRACKS -- Favorite Album
"Twilight Soundtrack"

Ed: Miley Cyrus and R-Patz? No fight.

 

ALTERNATIVE ROCK -- Favorite Artist
Green Day

Ed: Underserving, Billie-Joe...but good on you.

ADULT CONTEMPORARY -- Favorite Artist
Taylor Swift

 

Ed: Mraz will always be understated and Daughtry is forever middle-of-the-road.

 

 

###

No air

I am one of those who rather be bundled in fleece blankets than to have the aircon/fan be switched off. It's okay to be fan-less if there's enough ventilation but in a claustrophobic, window-less office, I say, keep the bloody aircon on. Regulate the temperature sensibly if you have to but do not switch it off. Why would you rather be hot and stuffy when you can be snuggly cosy under your scarves and jackets?

 

And please...your laptops and computers need the aircon. And also, think about others who are sitting very far away from the central aircon. You switch it off, they'll die.

 

Increase the temperature if you must...but do not switch it off.

 

Please.

 

 

 

###

Bust a move

It's the American Music Awards today and knowing how Yankee I am in terms of music...well, it's a big day. But, ah, the award show is in America, broadcast live on American TV and here I am working and today, I dont know if I'll see the light of day :(

 

Here are the nominees for the 2009 American Music Awards

.........................................................

POP or ROCK MUSIC

Favorite Male Artist
Eminem
Michael Jackson
T.I.

Ed's pick: I know MJ will win but urgh..it's out of pity for me. I'll vote for T.I. It's his freaking year, come on!

Favorite Female Artist
Beyonce
Lady Gaga
Taylor Swift

Ed's pick: I would like to see Taylor Swift because she is so sweet and under-rated b ut she makes beautiful country music. But, I think I'll go with Lady Gaga this time round. Sorry, B. Keep up the fantastical stuff, still.

 

Favorite Band, Duo or Group
Black Eyed Peas
Kings of Leon
Nickelback

Ed's pick: Why is Nickelback here? Where is Green Day? Pooi, Nickelback. I pick KOL!

 

Favorite Album
Lady Gaga / Fame
Michael Jackson / Number Ones
Taylor Swift / Fearless

Ed's pick: I must be true to myself. Hahaha...GO TAYLOR!

 

COUNTRY MUSIC

Favorite Male Artist
Jason Aldean
Darius Rucker
Keith Urban

Ed's pick: Havent heard the first two. Not a big fan of Keith Urban. Am a Kenny Chesney fan. SKIP!

 

Favorite Female Artist
Reba McEntire
Taylor Swift
Carrie Underwood

Ed's pick: TAYLOR!!

 

Favorite Band, Duo or Group
Rascal Flatts
Sugarland
Zac Brown Band

Ed's pick: Sugarland and Rascal Flatts here everytime. I'll pick Zac Brown Band for variety reason.

 

Favorite Album
Rascal Flatts/ Unstoppable
Taylor Swift / Fearless
Zac Brown Band / Foundation

Ed's pick: TAYLOR!!!

 

RAP/HIP-HOP MUSIC

Favorite Male Artist
Eminem
Jay-Z
T. I.

Ed's pick: TI! Come on...you can do whatever you like! Swagger like us!

 

Favorite Album
Eminem / Relapse
Jay-Z / Blueprint 3
T.I. / Paper Trail

Ed's pick: You guessed it... TI!

 

SOUL/RHYTHM & BLUES MUSIC

Favorite Male Artist
Jamie Foxx
Michael Jackson
Maxwell

Ed's pick: What the fuck is this? Fine, I'll give this to MJ. Just because he's dead. Otherwise it's Maxwell.

 

Favorite Female Artist
Beyonce
Keyshia Cole
Keri Hilson

Ed's pick: I am sorry Keri Hilson. It's really Beyonce's call, this one.

 

Favorite Band, Duo or Group
Black Eyed Peas
Day26
Mary Mary

Ed's pick: Mary Mary is still around? I'll pick BEP because I pity Fergie for marrying a womaniser (a yummy one).

 

Favorite Album
Beyonce / I Am. . .Sasha Fierce
Black Eyed Peas / The E.N.D.
Michael Jackson / Number Ones

Ed's pick: Has anyone not heard Single Ladies? Sasha Fierce!

 

SOUNDTRACKS

Favorite Album
Hannah Montana: The Movie
Hannah Montana 3
Twilight Soundtrack

Ed's pick: WTF? I want to cry. Don't make me choose. Oh? Ok Twillight.

 

ALTERNATIVE ROCK MUSIC

Favorite Artist
Green Day
Kings of Leon
Shinedown

Ed's pick: 21 Guns a bit lame...so is Know Your Enemy. Sorry, Billie-Joe. I'll pick KOL.

 

ADULT CONTEMPORARY MUSIC

Favorite Artist
Daughtry
Jason Mraz
Taylor Swift

Ed's pick: This is an emotional choice. Jason Mraz. And oh...how's Taylor Swift adult contemporary when she is 19 (?) singing about being 15?

...............................................................

I have a freaking terrible headache and on top of that, I am bleeding love (heh). It's so cold here and I have a stacking amount of work.

 

Time to peace out.

 

 

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Over my head

I just spent most of the day watching GLEE and now...it's 0045hrs and I am having a major major headache.I havent done any house work and havent done any lesson planning and stuff. Worse of all my eyes are going cock-eyed and are strained.

 

Thanks to the period, I have a brewing headache.

Think I go to sleep now.

 

 

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I got it from my mama

Remember Levi, the guy who boinked Sarah Palin's daughter? Apparently he has found himself another way to gain fame. See?

Why don't I find this sexy?

Somehow these pictures make me want to throw up a little.

...
...
...

And I know I am not gay.


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Gone to the movies

Here…my Top 20 love flicks. 'Casablanca' is the latest addition because I finally got it after watching the film for the umpteenth time.

1.       Romeo and Juliet (Baz Luhrmann)

2.       Moulin Rouge (Baz Luhrmann)

3.       Casablanca  (Michael Curtiz)

4.       The Notebook (Nick Cassavetes)

5.       Love Actually (Richard Curtis)

6.       Cold Mountain (Anthony Minghella)

7.       My Fair Lady (George Cukor)

8.       Edward Scissorhands (Tim Burton)

9.       Titanic (James Cameron)

10.   Ever After (Andy Tennant)

11.   Pretty Woman (Garry Marshall)

12.   Brokeback Mountain (Ang Lee)

13.   Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Ang Lee)

14.   Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Michael Gondry)

15.   The Princess Bride (Rob Reiner)

16.   50 First Dates (Peter Segal)

17.   Kuch Kuch  Hota Hai (Karan Johar)

18.   Sepet (Yasmin Ahmad)

19.   Days of Being Wild (Wong Kar Wai)

20.   In The Mood For Love (Wong Kar Wai)

 

Sure there are many more which didn't make this list. Come on, it's hard to decide when almost EVERY film out there has romance in various degrees in it. Even Wall-E, Batman, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and even March of the Penguins have romance. So this list represents flicks I don't mind watching over and over and over again.

 

Come on. I don't even have my Brad Pitt anywhere on this list.

Cause I am impartial like that.

 

 

… 2 films by Luhrmann

… 2 films by Wong Kar Wai

… 2 films by Ang Lee

… 2 films starring Leonard diCaprio

… 2 films starring Maggie Cheung

… 2 films starring Nicole Kidman

… 2 films starring Drew Barrymore

… 2 films starring Kate Winslet

 

 

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Stupid girl

I am looking at this particular application procedure for an NUS Grad programme and it requires me to ask my former university to send my transcript/certificate to NUS.

 

Why so complicated? It's not like I can take a bus to my old university. It will take ages just to get the transcript. Is this the God's conspiracy not to let me continue my academic pursuit?.I am feeling so stupid already.

 

Humph.

 

 

###

 

 

Apologise

Watch the following.



Cruel or damn fresh seafood?


###

Chop suey

I am feeling damn suey. No, wrong. Not feeling...but I am damn suey these past few days.

 

I feel so lousy, helpless...retarded

 

Today at work, I got an epiphany. I mean, I knew it all along but...today I received more "light". Don't trust your colleagues. Not all can be your friends because in truth, there's only a handful whom can be friends. The rest...fakes.

 

Some just befriend you because they know you are useful. Because you know your way around, because you know when and where are the best places to go and stuff. Because they know you have all the answers and are not selfish enough to tell. Urgh, I must learn how to "gatekeep" myself. I am not public property so I should stop behaving like one.

 

Tomorrow will be a new day.

 

Fuck man.

High school never ends.

 

 

###

 

 

Times of miracle

 

This is wrong...but it tastes so good.

 

One reason why I am rushing to work every morning (except on Thursday when I am on the afternoon shift) is that Old Chang Kee has this porridge which is so popular that usually by 0930hrs, it will all be sold out. The porridge is not exceptionally tasty and all; it's plain and sometimes, meatless. But at $1.40 a pop, PLUS 2 'you tiaos', it can keep me warm all the way till about 1500hrs.

 

Now, that's a good deal.

 

So, every morning I will try to greet the Old Chang Kee's staff at 0900hrs (or even earlier). They, in turn, will give me the special. Whoopee. That's the price for wanting to save money for the future.  Here's to the future.

 

To the future!

 

 

P/S: I am so tempted to buy 2 bowls of porridge next time so that I can have it for late lunch or tea as well. $2.80 for 2 bowls is still cheaper than any other 2 meals that I can think of. Variety? I dont really care for variety, okay.

 

P/P/S: 2012 was awesome. Indeed the idea was kind of stupid because if it's the end of the world, everyone will die. But come on, since when are disaster movies about logic anyway? It's all evolution/psychobabble to me.

 

 

###

Waltzing Matilda

I read the following off channelnewsasia.com and I must say, it's about time, Australia.

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

PM Rudd in emotional apology to 'Forgotten Australians'
Posted: 16 November 2009 0855 hrs

CANBERRA: Prime Minister Kevin Rudd made an emotional apology on Monday to half-a-million "Forgotten Australians" who faced sexual abuse, violence and forced labour in childcare homes over a period of decades.

Victims among the 1,000 people who packed Parliament House for the address burst into tears as Rudd detailed heart-rending cases of neglect in Australia's orphanages and institutions from 1930 to 1970.

"We come together today to offer our nation's apology. To say to you, the Forgotten Australians, and those who were sent to our shores as children without their consent, that we are sorry," he said.

"Sorry that as children you were taken from your families and placed in institutions where so often you were abused. Sorry for the physical suffering, the emotional starvation and the cold absence of love, of tenderness, of care.

"Sorry for the tragedy, the absolute tragedy, of childhoods lost. Childhoods spent instead in austere and authoritarian places where names were replaced by numbers, spontaneous play by regimented routine, the joy of learning by the repetitive drudgery of menial work."

Hundreds of thousands of poor children, including some 7,000 child migrants from Britain, were ripped from their homes to live in poorly monitored state and church-run homes where many were abused, ignored or forced to do unpaid menial work.

The statement has already made waves in Britain where Prime Minister Gordon Brown is set to apologise to more than 130,000 disadvantaged children who were shipped to Australia and other former colonies.

The comments also echo Rudd's historic February 2008 apology to Australia's downtrodden Aboriginal population for their mistreatment since white settlement in 1788.

A 2004 Senate inquiry recommended the apology after unearthing hundreds of disturbing stories from children placed in care after their families broke down, their mothers were unmarried or they were considered uncontrollable.

The probe found widespread assault and emotional, physical and sexual abuse, as well as neglect, humiliation and the deprivation of food, education and medical care.

Many never knew their parents or siblings, or even their own names, which could change each time they moved accommodation. Sometimes they were referred to simply by a number.

"The truth is, this is an ugly story. The truth is, great evil has been done," Rudd said.

Many of the children were not told the truth about what happened to their parents, while their families were lied to as well, the inquiry found.

It said the legacy of these experiences had left many people emotionally scarred, with many resorting to drug and alcohol abuse and an "abnormally large" percentage committing suicide.

Some victims are still in prisons and mental health hospitals, while others suffer depression and feelings of worthlessness. Just days before the apology, one man who campaigned all his life for forgotten Australians killed himself.

"You have that insecurity and lack of self-esteem and all of that with you forever," Caroline Carroll, who chairs the Alliance for Forgotten Australians, told AFP ahead of the apology.

"That feeling of never being good enough doesn't go away."
- AFP/so

 ---------------------------------------------------

 

I am not a beacon of many causes, hopes and dreams. I know that there is a lot of "I-dont-care" vibe in me and I am highly conscious of that. Plus, I am neither a negotiator nor a bargainer. Throw me in a sea of people and I dont stand out. In fact, I dont want to stand out if standing out just mean by different for the sake of it. But...human rights issue is something quite dear to me. Protecting our rights to live and prosper is something I really feel strongly for. To be abused, humiliated and be enslaved, those are the worse things that can ever happened to a civilisation.

 

So excuse me if I dont really care about poor services in malls, sub-par food in a mid-level restaurant, people who cannot really speak your language, trains which come a minute too late and weather which is too hot or too cold. It's too tiring to be caught up in such hate-lists. What do I get in the end? Extra gift? Free dessert? A minute of fame? Credit card waiver? Imagine the bad karma the other party throws back at you. Wow.

 

Note to self...don't sweat the small stuff. We are all meant for much bigger things.

 

Anyone can rob me of my comfort and material goods.

They however cannot rob me of my freedom.

I is Braveheart!!!

 

Crappy afternoon indulgence here. Back to work.

 

 

 

P/S: Aussie, now, do ensure the process of rehabilitation can salvage the situation.

 

 

 

###

Friendship train

I wanted to bluetooth the pictures I took yesterday during Ismail's hen/cock party when the phone jammed. After rebooting, the pictures were then gone...just like Amelia Earheart (the movie which I watched just now. Not bad, by the way).

All the pictures are gone. The lousy players at the bowling session, the heartburn-inducing dinner, the unique ice-cream experience, the hilarious bonding session at Keppel Bay and beancurd supper at Geylang...all G.O.N.E.

All I've got is this clip below...and it's not even complete because Jo and Sean weren't in the picture yet. Still...I hope to get the pictures from Ismail soon.



Mail...hope you had a good time. I sure did. Tini...you can go ahead and marry Mail already. Heheh.


P/S: AMELIA was cool. A bit slow at some points but it did induce some tears. I really like to see people chasing dreams and actually achieving them. Even if it means not being able to get out of it alive. Rock on.

P/P/S: Sha, wish you were there. You too, Gracie.


###

You're not sorry

I so could relate to this song even though I am almost twice of '15'. 15...one of the sweetest times I've had.

Taylor Swift - Fifteen (New)
Uploaded by Henrietta-Aime-Fumer_Tv. - See the latest featured music videos.

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
And you say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way

It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
"You know, I haven't seen you around before"

'Cause when you're fifteen
And somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Feeling like there's nothing to figure out
Well, count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be
Fifteen

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool
We'll be outta here as soon as we can

And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car
And you're feeling like flying
And you're momma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one
And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

'Cause when you're fifteen
And somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin 'round
But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried

'Cause when you're fifteen
And somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

Your very first day
Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors (Taylor Swift)


P/S: Things went awry when we were 16 ... just when I was about to leave high school. (kicks drama mode) Love was never the same again.

P/P/S: Oh, he went to marry at a young age and now has a couple of kids.


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