What's my age again?

Dear Tan wrote:

"i think it's hard
is it really that difficult to find someone tt clicks with u well and always knows what u are thinking?
... ...

i think so...
at least i haven met anyone like this yet..."



Well I used to wonder about this too. One day it hit me. If even twins cant mirror each other, then there's not such person who thinks exactly like you. Maybe this guy has the same taste in music (that will be great), but we may have different political views. Maybe he is into Japanese food, but I am not. Maybe we love to go to the movies but we dont like each other's genre. Maybe he speaks beautiful romantic prose but I...I like to make crude lewd jokes.

I believe that opposites attract.
Like how I have a thing for skater/surfer boys (oh shut up Avril Lavigne!)
Of course I regret everything later haha.


I suck at skateboarding and I havent tried surfing.
One day...when I'm 64, maybe.


Mentioning skater/surfer boys (yeah I know...am such a paedo), I did slip out to some of my uni students that those were *ahem* my kind. Then they started arguing that it must be an Aussie thing and that I couldnt find this breed in Singapore unless I checked out the skimmers of East Coast instead of the surfers of Bondi.


To skim or not to skim


Student1: What? You like skater/surfer boys??
Ed: Err..yeah? You know, like those...erm..Dogtown boys?
Student2: Dogto..what?
Ed: Those skater boys...Lords of Dogtown. You know, the 70s and Z-Boys?
Student2: Dont know
Ed: Fine.
Student1: Where can you find them in Singapore?
Ed: Well they are around ... somewhere.
Student1: Those are the skimmers lah...not surfers.
Ed: It's not in the activity or clothes, lah.
Student1: Then? You said skater/surfer, what? So those buff bods, topless dudes, blonde hair and all, right?
Ed: Oh god no. It's not that!
Student1: Then???
Ed: It's the mentality.
Student1: What mentality??
Ed: The chill and "lepak" mentality.
Student1: Aw, you like that huh?
Ed: Yeah. I'm a Malay what.


Killer.

Like I say, opposites attract.
It attracts regrets, that is.


0600hrs.

Need to be at work around 0930hrs for the TooMuchCrap open house. Shall watch Sex & the City at Causeway Point with Nani in the evening. Am quite awake now cause I fell asleep on the floor at midnight while reading the papers just now and only woke up abt 2 hours ago. Think I can just stare at the ceiling and visualise New York and count how many sheep jump across the Brooklyn bridge.

Later.


"And are still more amused by TV shows
What the hell is ADD?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?" (Blink 182)



###

Stay young!

A super quickie here:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHARINAH!!


It's a milestone, indeed. But dont worry, you're still young and youthful to me. So yes, enjoy the day, may you have a good one and all the best wishes for you. See you on Sunday morning. Love.


"One way out is all you're ever gonna get
From those who'll hand it out don't never let it upset you
Cos they'll put words into our mouths they're making us feel so ashamed

Making us take the blame
Making us cold in the night
Making us question my heart and soul
And I think that it's not quite right

Hey! stay young and invincible
Cos we know just what we are
And come what may we're unstoppable
Cos we know just what we are"


###

Big me

It's a nice sexy Friday I'm kind of having. Haha I think it's just the escaping mode talking. I'm facing an obscene pile of work but hey, I'm smiling. I dont think I can be done with them, but hey, I'm trying. And now, I'm rhyming.


The world was on fire and no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't want to fall in love
This world is only gonna break your heart
No, I don't want to fall in love
This world is only gonna break your heart
With you
This world is only gonna break your heart

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and

I want to fall in love
This world is only gonna break your heart
No, I want to fall in love
This world is only gonna break your heart
With you

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you






P/S: Happy as I may be, I still feel too much love will kill you.

P/P/S: Specimen A is back to occasionally haunt me.

###

Better be home soon

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this. (Byron)



..
..

Get this.

I am sick.
I feel cold.
I feel like crap.
I have a headache.
I want to go home.




###

Blood sugar sex magik

Am on a Grey's Anatomy break. Moving on to Nip/Tuck for the time being. I like to see things get cut up and sex. In no order of preference. Individually please. Not cutting things up during sex.

Okay.
Ramble.


Work.



###

A design for life

You should see me now.
All slumped listless over Snow White.
I'm half dead, half alive.
Mindless TV programme in front of me.
Feeling claustrophobic by the minute in the living room.

The sister is super-duper tired and I shall be nice and not do work in the bedroom. Past few days had seen me sprawled dead over my computer; it running all night and the light was on till morning. I didnt bother switching off my computer cause when I woke up, it would be the first thing I'd switch on anyway.

*Oops I just spaced out for a few minutes. I was conscious but not quite. You must be wondering what am I on. Haha*


...
...


Anyway, I had an appraisal with the heads and well, they did paint a beautiful picture of my achievements/work performances and stuff. I had quite a good review but they mentioned something which got me ruffled. I was kind of pissed-sad ... but you know, had to do all the "I-accept-your-comments" crap. I was kind of seething inside.


Head 1: As for your interaction with colleagues, we see that you are closed with some of the IT staff.
Ed: Yeah, they're nice people.
Head 2: Yeah it's nice to see you hanging out with them
Head 1: But we would like to see you doing that with the Business people also.
Ed: But..but..I do!
Head 1: I dont really hear you much interacting with them and...
Head 2: You're a mass comm person, what! Shouldnt be a problem, right?
Ed: But..but..I..
Head 1: I also think that you are quite picky when choosing the people you want to talk to.


Oh that got me quite mad. I was so mad, I felt like a part of me died a little.


Ed: But that's not true!
Head 1: Well that's what I've seen and gathered.


You've seen and gathered wrongly, slimer!
I didnt say that, of course.


Head 2: You need to contribute more to office conversations.
Ed: But I've been busy. I am not cooping myself in the Mass Comm room for nothing, you know.
Head 1: I know but it's just those office stuff...interacting with colleagues from the same business department and stuff.


Is he trying to say that he is jealous of me hanging out with my IT colleagues? Those colleagues who are much within my age group and have things in common? Those colleagues who actually know what the fuck I am doing? People who actually bothered to share mobile numbers and personal emails with me so that we can have personal chats? People who actually bothered to ask me out for lunch, go out for dinner and have post-work activities? Words couldnt describe how pissed off I felt. I've had it.


Ed: You know what, Head 1 and Head 2?
Head 2: Yes?
Ed: It's human nature that one tends to be drawn to certain people.
Head 1: Yes I know but...
Ed: I've studied Human Psychology before and it's natural to be picky.
Head 1: Yes I know.
Ed: Does it ever occur to you that it's not me... but them?
Head 1: Well, that could be the case too.
Ed: Maybe it is not me who has the problem. Does it occur to you?


They just nodded and coolly moved on to the next topic. Urgh. You dont get to dismiss me off like that, shitbags. You fucking dont. I'll get back at you somehow. I have my ways. I'll figure something out even if it means I have to pee in your soup or something.


So yes.
Communicator who cannot communicate.


I went back to the office, slowly beginning to detest that shithole. Went over to Idaho and in perfect Malay and hushed tones, vomitted out all the anger. After that, I went over to the other side of the office where the Indian Boyband (3 Indian men) was seated and lashed out my anger again.


Boyband 1: [in his crisp British accent] You mean he said that? That's not fair!
Ed: Tell me about it.
Boyband 2: Gosh, you need to talk more to the cuckoos out there.
Ed: What do you want me to say??
Boyband 2: Say some stupid things, lah.
Ed: We talk about movies and stuff. I cant talk about that to them!
Boyband 2: I know. Some chicken language going on.
Ed: And I got penalised for that? What the fuck!
Boyband 1: That's nuts, mate. It's screwed up.
Ed: Yes. And I'm penalised for it. Fucking hell.
Boyband 2: That's fooking bollocks.


Good God. I dont need all this crap. If I am not chatty enough, God knows what the other recluse academics have in their appraisal report. "Make you presence felt, please" or "God gave you a mouth for a reason" most probably.

You know it's not healthy to be this angry.

Or this upset.



P/S: I need to catch a show or go for a freaking long walk.

P/P/S: Screw it. I need a good cry.


###

End of the century

She said there's ants in the carpet
Dirty little monsters
Eating all the morsels
Picking up the rubbish
Give her effervescence
She needs a little sparkle
Good morning TV
You're looking so healthy

And we all say
Don't want to be alone
We wear the same clothes
Because we feel the same
And kiss with dry lips
When we say goodnight
End of the century
It's nothing special

Sex on TV
Everybody's at it
And the mind gets dirty
As you get closer to thirty
He gives her a cuddle
They're glowing in a huddle
Good night TV
You're all made up
And you know that (Blur)


###

Advert / For Tomorrow

In front of me right now is a well-spread collection of the students' advertising assignments.


The assignments.




Champagne ice cream




Jewellery ad...complete with storyboards



Beer for ladies



A healthy drink from Julius




Ice cream-stuffed doughnuts




Another new one from Apple



His and her ice cream (what's up with all this ice cream?!)



McDonalds' new treats




Shopping mall doing a stop child abuse campaign


Very creative I must say.
Best of all, they did these within 7 weeks.

Abby saw the work and he was quite impressed :) He said I did a good job in motivating them to come up with masterpieces in such a short time. Well, what can I say? Film and Advertising are 2 things I like most.


I am such a pop trash.
And my students are becoming pop trash.


Now that their advertising project is over, the Higher Diploma students are busy with my scriptwriting assignments. Am taking a different approach now and instead of focusing on the script solely, I have incorporated filmmaking as well. Just now, the kids were running all over the school trying to do their shoots. Will upload their damn amateur clips in the next entry probably.


Home soon.


###

Colours of the wind

It's 0345hrs on Tuesday morning.
It's 27th of May already.
Hira has returned from Turkey (welcome home!).
8 more days to New York.


8 more days??!!


What I have to do within the next 8 days

- type out minutes for the boss
- mark 2 referral assignments
- mark 34 individual Advertising papers
- mark 9 Advertising assignments
- mark 2 Media Research papers
- mark 8 film proposals
- conduct 3 more Monash classes
- be up for mid year review
- up for Career Day duties
- 2 birthday gatherings
- borrow bag from Din
- pack my stuff


Think now I should go back to sleep.
Yes, go back.

I reached home at about 1900hrs today. That's pretty early I must say. By 2000hrs, I was dead on my bed, fell asleep while reading JUICE. For the next 6 hours, I was unmoved. I had a dream that I was on holiday already with the sister.

We went to USA and were visiting some Indian reservations - the Apaches, Cherokees, Chocktaws, Arawaks, Navajos, Siouxs, Chippewas, etc. We were treated to cultural fares and stuff and it was all quite enlightening. It was sucky to be roused from bed at 0200hrs.

Oh well.

Maybe if I go back to sleep now, I can see a hot Red Indian man doing a hot tribal dance.

Wait for me, my hurritt akecheta (that's "handsome warrior" for you), my alagua (sweet gum tree), my kilchii (err...Red Boy).



A thousand times goodnight, pocahontas and dancing rabbit creek.


###

Should I stay or should I go?

Okay the talk is getting too..erm..heavy?
Should I stop them?
Should I let them continue?
Decisions...decisions.

I am expecting the girls in front of me to jump on each other and get it on on the table.

Or maybe I am just a prude.


Hahahahaha.


A prude!



###

Sexy can I

I have a few female students who are sitting in front of me and talking about their fantasies. They are sharing their thoughts about men, licking ice creams and bestiality.


Girl 1: Ed, so what's your fantasy?
Ed: [feign ignorance] Huh? What?
Girl 1: What's your fantasy?
Ed: Huh? Define fantasy.
Girl 2: Which part of a guy do you look at?
Ed: Hmmm... Shoulder?
Girl 1+2+3: Ooooh


Now they are talking about porn and man, their eyes are shining with enthusiasm.

Okay they have moved on to girl-on-girl, boy-on-boy, orgies and anal sex.

I wanna join.

The talk...not the act.



###

Pocketful of sunshine

A heart that's filled up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that wont heal
You were so tired, unhappy
Bring down the government
They dont...
They dont speak for us
I'll take the quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide

No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent

This is my final fit
My final bellyache with
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please

Such a pretty house
Such a pretty garden
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please (No Surprises, Radiohead)


I can feel it coming. It's that state of mind ... that intersection between vacation and work; that slowing down stage. It's the exodus of the everday necessities and in walks the aesthetics of ... the unknown.

I like the unknown. That's why it's quite stressful to travel with me. I dont like to plan. So Rae, Clara and Lauren (say hi to my mother-in-law for me, will you?)...thank you for doing this. If I were to do it, we would probably end up in a dingy hostel with dirty water for shower.

It's coming.
I can feel it.

The sister has her on-the-job training today. SHe has a 0500hrs shift today and that means, she has to leave the house at 0400hrs. To leave the house at 0400hrs, she was to wake up at 0200hrs because she needs 2(!!) hours to get ready. And you think I take my own sweet time in the bathroom....

So yeah, she woke up at 0200hrs, when my day hadnt even ended. It took a lot for her to get up at that ungodly hour considering what a lazy ass the sister is. Oh well. Hope everything turns up well for her..for everyone.




I shall go back to my own little cove here.



P/S: From curly to straight..and now I want it short.

P/P/S: Am thinking...how about umrah when I turn 30? After next year's Europe? Think I can work that out.


###

Only in my dreams

When the fear sets in
Where the fire burns
Where I find a place
Where there's nowhere to turn
When the evening sings
An eerie song
Longing for the day
You say I'm wrong

You can find your place
But never fit in
And only when you've left
Do you know where you've been
I can see the light
But only when it's gone
You can go on waiting
But only for so long ...

I know we are right
It's not always clear
Because I've never felt the fear
Can it stay so good
Forever in time?
I've always felt the rhythm
What happens when
There's no more rhyme?


Hmm...what happens?
What happens?
God knows, really.

Had to really drag myself (kicking and screaming and all) to work today. Sunday school sure sucks the marrow out of life. I stuttered and stumbled through Policy class and only managed to perk up in Film. That was after my tuna sandwich and iced coffee of course. Film was also more exciting cause I was screening Fight Club.

For the 2nd time in a week.
But it's okay.
Brad Pitt is delectabilis.

Fight Club is fast creeping into my favourite movie list. It sums up best my state of mind, the frustration, the anger at own self, the "victimisation", the self-torture, the (borderline) insomnia...the feeling of being awake, but not really. If I have to choose a film that is relevant to me, it has to be Fight Club. Of course it is not similar in every physical aspect. Metaphorically and representation wise, this film is spot on.

"Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."


...

I am supposed to prepare mock exam papers but it's almost 0300hrs and I'm on the morning shift tomorrow. I couldnt do work earlier cause I was in school and I spent the whole evening reading papers and folding my clothes. On top of that, I had to fend off urges to scratch myself. Heat rash is really a pain in the ass.



Given more time and scratching, my skin will definitely look like this. I dont want!

All right...let's try to hit the bed.

Try!


###

Somewhere only we know...

Struggled to get out of bed. Wanted to bail out of NPCC but Meiling was downstairs, ready to pass me something. She got a cake for the cadets, see. So yeah, sleepily met Meiling downstairs, got the cake and headed off to sunny sticky Yishun. Meiling couldnt make it today cause she had to go to work. Ah, next week will be my turn to go to work on a Saturday.




I went over to the Sec 3 and saw JS (my cadet inspector) and the cadets doing this. No, they were not being punished. It was some sort of a dare going on. It was supposed to be one hand pumping but some of the cadets made it look like Spiderman having constipation.


I used to be able to do this one-hand pumping thingy.
Used to.
Was GI Jane back in secondary school haha.



"Elbows straight!"
"Oi, dont gelek-gelek!"
"Eh! This is not catwalk!"
"Stomach in, chest out!"
"Shut your mouth!"

Another of my cadet inspector, KW, brought 2 of his friends to the unit. H (former cadet) also came and he brought along a friend. These people...think the unit is an open-for-public-access, is it? In the end, all had nothing to do because we only had that many cadets in the first place.


[Mentioning cadets, I had these 2 crazy idiotic Sec 3 (15 year olds) cadets. These clowns were sharing a piece of cake without using any utensils. So they just gobbled off the plate. One accidentally took the whole cake in his mouth and the other got angry. So the latter went near to the other person's face and bit off the dangling cake out of the other person's mouth. Then...they kissed! Wahahahahahahaha!!! No, they are not homos. They are just good friends. Very good friends. Hahaha!]


I was doing my MP in GRC walks rounds (cause I'm such a tua pai, mah!) when I stopped at the sec 1s. Kangwen's friend was with them.


Friend: Ma'am, how long should the break be?
Ed: Break? What break?
Friend: Break for the cadets ah.
Ed: You dont need break.
Friend: Welfare, ma'am.
Ed: Haha, no welfare. Let them stand there until they faint.
Friend: In my unit, it's damn welfare, lah...
Ed: You are not in your unit.
Friend: ...welfare this, welfare that...eh, what?
Ed: You are not in your unit. So, stop comparing.
Friend: Oh okay okay.


Think I made him shit in his pants a little.


Friend: So, no welfare? No break at all?
Ed: Have lah, but not often. Besides, they are not in the hot sun now.
Friend: Ah okay. Actually, I prefer like this.
Ed: Like what? [this guy talks too much!!]
Friend: Your style. In my unit, the cadets are treated like precious babies.
Ed: You are not in your unit.
Friend: Yup yup got it, ma'am.


And because I was the "man", I gather all my power to make my instructor, JS, drink some kind of a weird concoction. It was his birthday and I, being the mastermind, ordered the cadets to prepare him a drink - Milo powder, rose syrup, water and Sportage (isotonic drink).



It was the birthday of a cadet, too.
But we didnt sabo her.
Crazy.
What if she complains to her parents?
To the school?
To *gasp* MOE???




As he was drinking, I fronted an all-out attack; I went behind his back and threw a disgusting water bomb (water and more) at him. All hell broke lose.


For Narnia!!!!!!!


Okay..random.

That triggered a mini elephant stampede.
Water, cake, what-have-yous flew everywhere.
Birthday boy got hit and soaked.
He got revenge by taking the hydrant and sprayed at us all.
No one came and scolded us.
Phew.

See, that's how I usually spend my Saturday.
For 15 years!

Oh well.

That's the highlight of my Saturday. I headed to the salon to do my hair after that and during that 3.5 hours of being static, I had a hard time keeping awake cause I was that tired.

Hah.

It's 0430hrs now and I think I should go back and sleep. I have 2 classes back to back tomorrow (Policy and Film!) on a Sunday morning. It's going to be a long Sunday. Dammit.

Wait...before I go, here's something.



The stuff I've got to mark.

A thousand times goodnight, minotaurs and centaurs.


###

Long time coming

I could lose my heart tonight
If you dont turn and walk away
Cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay
Cause I could take you in my arms
And never let you go
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

I could only wonder how
Touching you would make you feel
But if I take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still?
So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

And I know its not right
And I guess I should try
To do what I should do
But I could fall in love
Fall in love, with you
I could fall in love with you

..
..
..

Okay, where do I go now?


[Alert: Yak yak yak]


I went ktv-ing with RuffEdge and Shortcake (& hubby), even though all I wanted to do was sleep. One should never pass a good opportunity to wail into the mic, right? Haha. Anyway, I got home before midnight and first thing first, I read the papers. Second, I fell asleep. Standard operation procedure.

Had a terrible dream. But I knew the cause. I've never had "unknown" dreams cause I know, we make our own dreams. So yes, I roughly know how and where all my dreams come about. Anyway, it was bad, it was dark ... it was quite traumatising.

Woke up with a jolt 1.5 hours later. I was sprawled dead in the middle of my bedroom and no one woke me up to shower, to switch off my lights, to ask me to get on my bed. I could be really dead and people would only realise it on the next day...or not at all. Hah!


Where was I?


Woke up with a jolt, feeling utterly disoriented and scared. Grey's Anatomy-ed after that and that put the mind at ease. But yes, I've come to the first part. Where do I go now?




It's not looking good. Well maybe they are and it's just that I'm not seeing it. I..urgh, it's disgusting. I'm a better person than this but right now, I'm just letting it all wash over me. Tired to fight for life right now. Tired of jostling for a whiff of oxygen.

Oh well.

Idaho and I had a meeting with the heads just now; reviewing what we had done, coursework and stuff. The work piles as always and it's never ending. I know, work doesnt end. Who am I kidding, right? But hey, at least I need to be able to see a destination, right? Why slave myself off without knowing what's there at the end? The end justifies the mean, my friend.

The heads implied that June was going to be another crazy month. Tell me what's new? It has been crazy for months already now. Maybe I was being overly-sensitived but at that time I felt like they were chastising me for taking leave in June. Something triggered and suddenly I randomly declared to the table:


"I dont feel guilty about being on leave, you know."


It was so random, I surprised myself.


Head 1: No no, you shouldnt!
Head 2: Err...you can take leave. But because of that, you are facing a heavy load now and Resource Planning need to do changes..yada yada.
Ed: I had informed everyone in February. It couldnt get any earlier.
Head 1: It's okay. If you have to take leave, you have to take leave.
Ed: Yeah, just want to let you know...I'm not sorry about it.
Head 1: No no...please dont.


So you've guessed it. I am one of those "difficult" people in the company. But hey:




Yeah yeah.

It's 0500hrs already. In 2 hours' time, I should be making my way to Yishun. Hah, it's one of those activities that keep me going.

But in the meantime, I shall retreat to my very dark place.

A thousand times goodnight, Darth Vader.



P/S: Gosh. This is just much ado about...nothing, actually.


###

Miss Sarajevo

"And it's hard to love
There's so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above
Say it's much too late
Well maybe we should all be praying for time"



Just lousy.


###

Lucky star

Was reading Izzy's blog when I saw his little tribute to Anelka.

Hah, I've always known that one day he would do Man U a service.

Go Anelka!


P/S: WeeWee said that Jamie Scott and Panic At The Disco (!!!) are coming over for SingFest. I fucking want to go!

###

Right kind of wrong

It did drag to extra time... it went all majestic to penalty shoot outs and well, van der Sar did good. He was great. And we won the Champions League baby.

I had a hard time keeping awake. Extra time saw me drifting in and out of sleep. But ah, we won!!


And as for the other one...American Idol, yay!!! I'm happy there too. Cookie won the duel but well, it's kind of weird cause the judges were really pimping Archuletta and all. Archie's song choices were much better for him; more drama-mama and perfect for finales. However, many like me must have seen his single-mindedness in tackling the same kind of genre. He's safe and well...boring. Cookie on the other hand looked like he was staging his own concert - careless and free. That's showmanship.

Man U!
Cookie!

And now...I am suffering. Film Class just ended and we must have seen the most boring and mind-numbing film we've ever seen in class. The Draughtsman's Contract was painful to watch. I wish I could just retreat to the back of the class and doze off. I wish.


Let's aim for 1800hrs today.


###

Vodka

Ronaldo.
Lampard.

No extra time, please please please.

Unless if we have to, of course.


Shalom


###

Sympathy for the devil

To beat anger and stress...I went on a celluloid rampage. It's Kubrick madness as I got Lolita, 2001 Space Odyssey and The Shining. I also got English Patient and Nell.

Now I need to channel this anger somewhere.

Hah, angry sex anyone?


P/S: Oh come on. Ppfft.


###

Killing in the name of...

Think it is nearing soon. I cant seem to be able to tolerate this anymore. I really, really have enough of this nonsense, this shit.

It's not good for the soul...being this angry. I have this raging feeling of wanting to punch the living daylights of someone, anyone. I want to plunge a dagger deep into someone's guts. I want to knock my head against the Great Wall. I feel ill and stressed. I cant sleep and am pissed off most of the time. Am even developing stress rashes...tak sexy, can?

Can I just drop dead now?


P/S: It's work. It's no longer satisfying. If it doesnt pay and it doesnt satisfy, just what sort of shit am I doing? Fucking shithole.

P/P/S: I'm sorry. I didnt mean to take it out on innocent parties.

P/P/S/S: Go Man U!!


###

Better the Devil you know

Tonight
We'll dine
In hell!!!


Bring it on!


###

Shut up and drive

Student: Are you there? Can I ask you a question?
Ed: Yes I am here. Awrite.
Student: Ed, how long should the movie trailer be for our scriptwriting project?
Ed: 30 seconds.
Student: Whaaaatttt? That's too short. Ours is more than that!
Ed: Okay.


Silence.


Student: How? Can or not? Can, lah. PLEASE!!!!
Ed: I guess. Wait, what kind of question is that? Is that even a question?
Student: Haha yeah I asked you about the duration of the trailer.
Ed: And I did tell you my answer.
Student: But it's too short. Ours is quite long. So how? Can or not?
Ed: If you have done it and it's long, then just pass to me.
Student: But how? Can or not? Will be penalised or not?
Ed: Oi, I've already told you 30 seconds. If you want to do more, then go ahead.


Silence.
Then it went again.


Student: Why so fierce?
Ed: No I'm not. You want my answer, I tell you.
Student: But how...can lah..please please.
Ed: [fed up] Eh, you dont really care about my answer right?
Student: Huh?
Ed: You just want me to agree with you, right? Well too bad. I am not that agreeable.
Student: Okay okay. Thanks.



I am not nice and I am not sorry about that.


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Oi to the world

Work brings a slight gloom this Tuesday morning even though I am still at home. Such is the power of fucking e-mails.

A memo just came in informing everyone about their curriculum and I've given the "honour" of teaching 4(!!) Monash subjects. Like what the fuck? My first season, it was 2; currently, I have 3...and the next, 4? What the fuck?? So for next season, it will be Feature Writing, Internet Journalism, Communication Studies and (get this) Media, Culture, Power & Theories of Comms. There's no film subject and seriously, I have no idea how to carry on.

TooMuchCrap better take away all my diploma+higher diploma classes. And yes, those never-ending pile of assignments which are waiting to be marked too.

This can get ugly.
It will be nasty.
Grouchy grinch alert.

That's it.


P/S: Think I'll plan my own abduction when I'm in New York or something. Or maybe, I'll beg some Wall Street or 30 Rock companies to take me in. Bill Gates, is that you? Steve Jobs, is that you? Rupert Murdoch, is that you? Donald Trump, is that you?


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Regresa a mí

Sunday morning was terrible as it saw me dragging my half-awake self to school. One more Sunday to go, Ed. One more Sunday. By 1300hrs, I made my way home, packed my bag and then Lauren picked me up in her Mini at about 1500hrs.

To Sentosa, ya'll.

We met Nani at the Seah Im carpark and passed her the free entrance pass. Lauren then tailgated Nani into Sentosa where we spent a good 10-15 minutes looking for Palawan beach. The place was going through some changes and roads were either re-directed or closed. We eventually got into the public carpark and made our way to the beach.

Well, it was indeed a beautiful day, ignoring the irritating teenagers and kids (HFMD!) screaming and running around aimlessly.



Imagine this...only more crowded.


Looking at the picture above, we managed to park our asses on the right side of the bridge. For the life of me, it was indeed a strange choice cause people who wanted to get on and off the bridge would have to pass us. However, it was a nice shady corner and well, we (Nani, Lauren, myself) were well-known voyeurs so we sat there (with totally no food/snacks!) on my giant blanket and bitched about the passing traffic for almost 2 hours. Bliss.

We finally got ourselves wet (with sea water) at about 1800hrs when most visitors had dispersed. It did feel good to swim into the vastness and into the horizon. It was kind of cathartic. Oh how much I needed that!


Just keep on swimming...swimming.


We left soon after and had dinner at the nearby hawker centre. We were hungry and there were many food on the table - kwey teow, mutton chop, mee kuah, satay, rojak, bandung, fresh lime and pineapple juice. Okay, "hungry" was an understatement. We were stark, raving famished. There.

Got home early around 2130hrs and well, I was wiped out.
By midnight, I surrendered.


Weak.


Today (Monday) was another day. Woke up early only to waste it on Sidereel.com watching more Two & a Half Men till 1400hrs. Grabbed a quick lunch and then met Meiling at the MRT. She had a movie preview at Lido and well, free movie, baby.

I didnt expect the show that we were about to watch to be good. In fact, I was ready to give it a miss. 2.5hrs later, I was thankful that I managed to watch it. Free-of-charge some more.

The only bummer was that the lead actor reminded me of my colleague...Sanjaya.

Heh.







No...no Mr Tumnus this time. Thank God.


THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN, I dare say, is one of the most entertaining pieces I have seen so far this year. It's better than its predecessor (that lion, witch, wardrobe thingy) - visually stunning, more action and well, slightly better acting. I really didnt feel 2.5 hours whizzing by. I had moments where I covered my eyes in horror, my mouth in shock and my ears in cowardice from the screaming.

Aslan the Lion and the White Witch made quick cameos. The beavers and Mr Tumnus (James McAvoy..nyeh) didnt even make an appearance. Fortunately, this didnt disrupt the flow of the film.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Trumpkin: You may find Narnia a more savage place than you remember.

...

Prince Caspian: You're Narnians. You're supposed to be extinct.
Nikabrik: Sorry to disappoint you.

...

Lucy Pevensie: It's so still.
Trumpkin: They're trees. What do you expect?
Lucy Pevensie: They used to dance.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Prince Caspian is darker and mature than the previous Narnia chronicles. But hah, how much darker can it be if it's still a Disney production, right? However, I do feel that there is a lack of character development in the film and that Prince Caspian is not really well-played. I mean...he has just one pathetic expression. He has the same look when he is sad, angry, happy, nervous, aroused...you get what I mean. And oh, he looks girly. How can a medieval prince look girly? Abominable.

Anyway...

The theatre was filled with kids and teenagers (HFMD alert, again!) and they got obviously noisy. It was irritating during the solemn quiet parts but however, those morons did bring the house down with their youthful nonsense. When the Prince decided not to kill the villain, someone shouted "Loser!" and it did crack everyone up. When the 2 leads kissed, the whole cinema went "Ah oooooh!". The most hilarious of all was when the villain got stabbed by one of the heroes and crowd in the cinema went "Yeah!!!" and clapped. Yes, clapped!!!

And they clapped again when the whole film was over.
It was hilarious.

I felt like I was in a village cinema where the audience was much more emotional and involved. I've never watched a movie in such an interactive manner. I kind of enjoyed it actually. It was more enjoyable; better than trying to shush everyone up :)

It reminds me of the Italian show Cinema Paradiso hahahaha.



Ah good 'ol Paradiso.

I'll sleep with a smile.

A thousand times goodnight, romantics and classicalists.


P/S: Nope. I didnt do jack-shit of work-related stuff.

P/P/S: Am developing rashes. Let's just hope it's heat rash and not HFMD hahahahah!


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