Shitty

Cause you're my blog, allow me to be whiny.

Got a bout of diarrhoea since yesterday. Somehow I could still manage an afternoon musical of Annie, amidst the rumble-tumble that was going in the belly.

The runs continued but it didnt hit me that bad cause I thought it was just a frequent upset tummy. I even had warm milk this morning for sahur, without knowing that dairy, in any kind, is bad for diarrhoea.

So yeah, around 0700hrs, I ran again to the loo. Then again..then again. The bellyache was annoying and I couldnt write (yeah I woke up early before work to write).

So yeah...sent a message to boss and colleagues..headed to clinic to get an MC and some meds. It's 1700hrs now and the meds are still untouched. The thought of wasting a fasting day is more painful than the belly.

So...since morning, I have been in and out of sleep, in and out of toilet, and been trying to complete work. Rubbed some oil and diarrhoea has since ceased the last few hours, probably because there's nothing else to flush out.

I swear my skin is turning yellow right now. haha.

Okay not funny.

2 more hours.


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When all I want...

...is you.

Why YouTube doesnt have this is beyond me. Their loss.

This tune is in my list of sad romantic songs ever.

:(


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Do you remember...?

No one shared my music back then in school.

It would have been nice.

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7 days

7th day of Ramadan is completed.

We're almost halfway there.

Must...pay...zakat.


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Watashi wa hitori ... satte yuku

I first heard this Japanese tune when I was about 4 years old. 28 years later, it still pulls the heartstrings, worse now cause now I know the meaning.

And possibly able to relate to it.



Nani mo shirazu ni anata wa itta wa
Tamani wa hitori no tabi mo iiyo to
Ame no kuko dekki ni tatazumi
Te o furu anata, mienaku naru wa
Dozo kaette, ano hito no moto e
Watashi wa hitori satte yuku

Itsumo shizuka ni anata no kaeri o
Matteru yasashii hito ga iru no yo
Ame ni kemutta jetto no mado kara
Namida o korae, sayonaru iu no
Dozo modotte, ano hito no moto e
Watashi wa toi machi e yuku

Ai wa dare nimo makenai keredo
Wakareru koto ga futari no tame yo
Dozo kaette, ano hito no moto e
Watashi wa hitori satte yuku

(English)

Knowing nothing (of my decision), you told me
"Going on a solo trip would be good for a change."
Standing on the observation deck of the airport in the rain
You wave at me, and soon you are out of sight
Please return to her side
I'm going away all by myself

Always quietly (waiting) for your return
There's a sweet lady awaiting
From the window of the jet misted up by the rain
Restraining my tears, I say good-bye
Please go back to her side
I am leaving for a faraway town

Though no one loves you more than I do
Breaking up is for the good of both of us
Please return to her side
I'm going away all by myself


:(

Qiyamu lail

So hard to get started.

Carried away once started.

Perspiration.

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Those lines on forehead...

...remind how I'm getting on with age.

Expiration?

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Love

Anthems of our lives :)


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Good times

I felt 16.

Thank you, Stone Roses.

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Garage flower

Fools gold.


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Tonight!

Cause I love only me...I love only me..

It has arrived

21st July, 2012.

Ramadan comes again. May we all have a good one.

It's out

August issue.


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Hyperballad

by Daniel on 7/18/2008 8:48pm
Living on a mountaintop together can be seen as a symbol of being completely in love; the beautiful view from the top is how she sees the world when she's so in love. She's at such heights of emotion. Throwing off objects and imagining her death is not so much rehearsing suicide as it is testing the relationship, thinking about what it would be like to lose that love, a daily reminder of just how precarious love is. This is a private act ("before you wake up"), doubts and fears she keeps to herself. Crashing down on the rocks below can be seen as falling out of love. The line, "will my eyes be closed or open" = if she loses her love, will she have been aware of that as it was happening.


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I wanna...I wanna...I wanna be adored

After being a fan for half of my life, I'm finally going to see them live this Sunday.



Stone Roses!


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To be free but till then...

"All the concepts about stepping out of your comfort zone mean nothing until you decide that your essential purpose, vision and goals are more important than your self-imposed limitations."

- Robert White

Burst of star

Mother and I with a Malaysian actress/host/cook/writer, Sheila Rusly.

That's all.


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After the fall...

Not meant to be happy but I was hungry and I saw a food stall up ahead.

Went to a friend's place..her mom just passed away this afternoon.

She was dressing up to go out, felt breathless, rested and never woke up. Within 2 hrs she was gone.

Inallillahiwainnaillaihi rojiun.

That's how swift You pull our lives.

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Hey

How are you, Bibik?

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Not alone

Whenever I feel down, God has His way of showing me the light.

An ex-student of mine is feeling extremely suicidal and I, as her former mentor, felt that it’s my responsibility to snap her out of it.

Truth is, I am not feeling top of the world myself but like SpiderMan, a responsibility is like a duty that you cannot shake off. So, yes, I’ve been trying to talk her out of it.

This happened before and I managed to talk her out of it but this time round, I am not sure. Since we’re no longer in close contact (I used to teach her everyday), it’s hard to dig out the problem.

I don’t know. God, can you help me?

She and I…we both have been feeling down in the pits lately. Though I have the wisdom (not the sharpest but it keeps me away from the knife) and maturity, she may not be so.

God, should she were to do something stupid, will you save her?

Or, would you rather she leave this cruel world behind?

People may say that suicidal people tend to be overly dramatic. It’s not true. There are many things that go in their heads and sometimes, they feel that there’s no way out and death is the answer.

It seems so tempting and easy, isn’t it?
Dying?

Plus, she has no responsibility. Single, young and free. Yet oh so problematic.

Maybe…it is better for her to go?

I don’t know, God. I am sure you know.

So anyway…my light comes in a way that no matter how I feel shitty about myself, I still feel a certain kind of responsibility – if not for mankind, at least for the people I have met in my life.

It’s not like I am gaining strength from their misfortunes but in trying to understand and help them. I find answers in myself. I find the ability in myself to pick myself up, carry on and move along.

Let’s just hope I have the stamina to go far.

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Mo alarms no surprises

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5CVsCnxyXg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Please.

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