Anxiety & panic

I am not one who is up for regrets. But, truth be told, I kind of miss working at TooMuchCrap.

This is the anxiety talking.
Second week of work awaits.

Students will be streaming in tomorrow. Already, I have been getting a fast and furious stream of emails in the last 1 week I've been employed there. Though I am eager to be a part of the team, I am so overwhelmed by the flow of information. I still cannot wrap my head around things.

It's 1230hrs and I can feel my stomach acting up. You see, I have anxiety issues and they manifest themselves into stomach cramps, nausea and insomnia. This anxiety disorder has been with me for 13 years, eversince I started work with Rediffusion. Having to get up for a live morning show gave me an adrenaline rush...which slowly became stress. Then came uni life and subsequent things. Everything came to a climax at MCorp. My anxiety/nerves went out of control. The manifestations became worrying and well, I had to put a stop to it.

So after 4 months of taking it easy (way too easy, as my parents might believe), I am dusting the trail back to anxiety. Some say I should just relax and let nature takes its course. It's a catch-22, really. I thrive on adrenaline but I dont know how to control before it goes to traumatic anxiety level.

I have yet to seek help. Right now, I am just using positive self-talk, religion and a bit of que-sera-sera to get me through the day. I am just hoping that things will soon start to fall into a pattern which I can settle into as painlessly as possible. As it is, planning what to wear can be a little stressful.

Breathes.

Okay. Time to prepare tomorrow's attire and it's time to call it a day.

Good luck to me.

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