Stomach and head

4 weeks.

4 chaotic weeks had I endured the brutality of work. 4 weeks of not being sure of what's going to happen each time I stepped into the classrooms -- new students who seem to be more interesting and challenging than the ones from the year past.

So, I have turned 35. It's a horrible number, honestly. For the first time, being "middle-aged" is real cause according to Wikipedia, the average life expectancy at birth was 71 years old (United Nations World Population Prospects 2012). So yeah, it is scary. The thoughts of growing old alone and dying in slow silence do haunt me once in a while but for my sanity sake, I have to pick meself up and get on with life the best I know how. 

Anyway, after some calculations, I think I am ready to buy that property. Yes, I have FINALLY decided to bring my parents with me. My sister is getting married next year and she is moving out (which is good cause we both need our space) and I know the mother cannot stand the idea of living just with the father. Plus, I cannot stomach the idea of them living on their own. What if they forget to switch off the TV before falling asleep? What if they dont lock the gate and leave it open for burglars? What if the gas stove is not properly turned off? What if...what if...what if they die without me being able to see them one last time? 

I CANNOT TAKE IT.

The thought of it makes me sick in the stomach.

So yeah. I am looking at resale flats cause I do not have the patience to wait for a BTO flat to be built.What if my parents cannot live that long ...say 3-4 years...for the house to be completed? Gosh. All these stomach-churning thoughts!

Anyway, the property search will start soon, probably once I am done with my Parisian trip (in March)...and then my Vietnamese adventure (in June)...and my Boracay sea-loving expedition (in September). If things go well, I may even end up in Saudi Arabia (Makkah and Madinah) this end of the year. Now, the last one is both exciting and scary at the same time. Am I ready? Will Allah welcome me to His house? Will He accept me as I am? Will He show me around...me, His humble serf? 

Ouch, my head.

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