"Trained to be a leader...

...to fight for our land!"

Oh pfft.

As I get older, that song really gets on my nerves. Long gone are those days screaming the tune as I marched/ran/crawled up and down fields and parade squares as ordered by over-zealous instructors.

And no..I didnt even sign up to be in the army. Bah.

But anyway, that is not my point. The point is that in 3 hrs' time, I will be participating in a camp organised for 'at-risk' youths.

I cant remember when was the last time I attended a non-NPCC camp. It will be different. I wont have my rank to throw around and will have to rely on my (lack of) charm and luck.

Hope I wont fail as a facilitator. Hope no camper under my surveillance disappear or get into trouble.

Hope I can get along fine with other facilitators/instructors...people whom I just met once. Hope I dont pass off as too showy, or too cowardly, or too passive, or..well..too old.

Hope it rains tomorrow afternoon. Not so heavy it goes on for days, but heavy enough for the high rope obstacle session to be cancelled. Lord I hate those things.

I do, however, hope for sunny weather on Sunday for we will be having rafting and sea-based activities. The sun can shine for as long as it wants then.

Tsk. Such a troublesome person.

I guess ultimately, I just want to survive this without getting sick or injured. And have fun, of course.

Good luck everybody.


P/S: No electrical powerpoint at site for me to charge my phone!

Copa de la vida, si?

There's a 5am match later.



Minah nak 'step' Latina.

Tsk.


P/S: Hoping I use 'step' in the right Minah-speak.


###

We do what we do

Two weeks have flown and Nenek is still here at Changi Hospital. She experiences renal failure and ..to use a layman's term...is just waiting for her time to meet the Maker.

Yesterday we went to a maid agency and got a Burmese maid for her. Think if all goes well, the maid will be here by end of June. The hospital has gently told us to bring Nenek home. Since the maid is not here yet, think my dad and auntie will place Nenek in a home for a week or something.

Hai Nenek...may you be comfortable and free from worldly pains soon.

###

Are you lucky?

After Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines, this has to be my 'summer' anthem. And hey, hey, hey...what do you know?

Pharrell is here too.

Love you, Abang P.



Just wondering. If you're up all night trying to get lucky, then maybe, just maybe, you're up all night at the wrong place.

Just saying.

###

La ilaha illallah

I like Barca as a collective entity cause no individual is above team, even with regards to my most favourite players like Cantona, Solskjaer, Maradona and Ronaldinho.

And to liken Messi to 'god'...puh-leeze. He is a fantastic player but he has been proven to be kinda inefficient, just like everyone else, when the chips were done.

Case in point: Barca's last match in their last Champions' League game.

Nevertheless, welcome Neymar to Barca. Hope you have a good life and maybe, feel a tiny tinge of regret for not joining a certain Moyes and his team.

###

One of them

Just realised how preachy and self-indulgent the previous entry was.

One of those times you fell into the crevices of:
- Self-righteousness
- Sanctimoniousness
- Sententiousness.

Okay. Now I am just showing-off.
That is not the intention of this post.

Reality ch-ch-check it out.

###

Why so serious?

There are two types of leaders whom I know very well. The first group comprises those who lead by action and the second one comprises those who like to talk a lot, giving pep talk after pep talk. The latter sometimes ... well...why do you have to talk so much?

Fine. Maybe I am the people's leader. The kind who rises from the bottom and one whom everyone can relate to. I must, however, remember that not every leader is that way.

Had NPCC training earlier and I am quite perplexed at the behaviour of one of my instructors. He rather ended the training 20 minutes earlier just so that he could talk to the kids about their mistakes and other what-have-yous.

Why am I puzzled? I would rather we take the time to continue with our training, interacting and perfecting our skill on the ground. Well, we are not talking about war strategy. We are just doing footdrill. If you can pinpoint the mistakes immediately when you see them, the chances of being corrected immediately is higher. Plus, the kids did not have their pen and paper, nor did they have recording of their performance. Everything would be forgotten in a matter of minutes. So, if you see something wrong, correct it immediately.

Guess that is where we differ. Maybe he did not want to approach the erroneous execution there and then for fear of embarrassing some folks. But ah, there are skills to that. If one has that skill, one will not be afraid to use it. But...hmm..I guess that comes with experience.

I also find that many of these new-age instructors are way too serious, making the CCA such a chore to participate in. Other than having to iron their uniform, polish their boots and what-nots, some instructors asked them to write many reports, journals, etc. Sure, these are good practices and would instil thoughfulness in the cadets but in this hectic time of existence, it may take a toll on some students.

CCA is meant to be fun. Of course the students should learn something along the way but to me, it has to be fun so that their attention can be retained. Once we've gotten their attention, we can bring in dedication, aspiration and then, excellence. You cannot jump from basic participation (for the sake of being forced to have a CCA) to excellence. There are pitstops along the way and many 'perished' along that road because the journey is no longer fun. It has become a dreadful chore; a burden too heavy to carry on top of school load, family and puberty. And soon the interest wanes and eventually...

I am not a fierce instructor or teacher. I dont rule by fear and I dont step into a situation demanding respect. When you take that role, you tell yourself, it is not you who seek fame or glory (or whatever hoopla cheesy term you want to call it). It is truly a sacrificial role. You impart everything you know hoping that someone can take that knowledge higher than the notch you had climbed before. You must establish relationship and be open to the trainees.

Get real. We are not training foot soldiers who will roll out tanks and dishing out machine guns. We are training teenagers who are looking for something fun and educational to fill up their time and hopefully, become a better person while they are at it. Let it be fun and joyful. Smile a little. Share your life a little. And, laugh a lot.

Sure, you have to met out punishment when the discipline goes out of hand. But you must bear in mind, what are the learning experiences gained by making people do 50 push-ups? Explain to them why they have to do the punishment. If the relationship establishment is right from the start, there will be no need for that, I am sure.

So...why so serious?

###

Fishy

Something is wrong with my sister.

Either she is dying...or I am.

Hah. Okay. I'm kidding.

But..wtf..she climbed onto my bed to hug me. And then she fell asleep.



###

Kids play

Orange is the day.


###

Little pieces

After 4 days of helping a friend tend her booth at the Motherhood Exhibition down at Singapore Expo, I am in need of a little peace and quiet. Stay away from the madding (and maddening) crowd.

The idea brought me back to Nyaungshwe. I was on the last leg of my Burma 'tour de force' and I had no idea of what was to be expected at Nyaungshwe.

The day I got there, I spent the afternoon walking. I walked into a settlement, a little village. Families were gossiping at the verandah, fathers were teaching sons how to repair their 'sampan', etc.

We all exchanged smiles, me being curious about their easy-breezy lifestyle and they being curious why this weirdly dressed Asian sister ended up in their backyards and taking pictures of herself near their toilets.

I found a little spot by the river and parked my tired ass there. It was quiet on my side, but bustling on the other. It was my perfect moment. I could sleep there until another person found the same spot.

This traveller from Xiamen, China, sat beside me quietly. I started a conversation because I am the kind of person who would. I am not a great chatter but I do enjoy a little conversation and after 5 days of travelling alone, a good conversation seems god-send.

So after a quick chat, the traveller (whose name is Guo Xiong) and I sat peacefully by the river till he stood up to leave. I left not long after and on my way back, I strolled past a huge paddy field and saw a glorious sight.

The sun was setting nicely down the plains, covering the land with a strong orange glow. The children who lived near the field were desperately playing to their hearts' content and trying to chase the last ray of light. So were the ducks, furiously paddling up and down the stream in the tangerine light.

I stood there for a while, trying to put myself in the places of the children and their mothers who were waving and smiling at me. They must have gotten this everyday...silly travellers gawking into their lives with expressions bordering between wistfulness and disdain (for the lack of modernity).

And as the day turned dark, I made my way back to my abode, a rickety chalet-like room with minimal amenities, stopping earlier at an eatery for a quick dinner.

There I met the traveller from Xiamen and his two friends. We began to converse in Mandarin about how expensive the food at the eatery was but laughed at ourselves for being idiots because we chose to be there for its free wifi :)

Okay...such a long post for a 2-3hr non-event. If I were to compile the memories of my Burma travel (or any travel for that matter), it would be a never-ending reading material with a lot of thoughts, perspectives, what-ifs and comic encounters. Very self-indulgent. Like now. So I better stop.

###

Again.

Okay. I am loving the length of the wig. Guess I'll be keeping my hair long then. I feel young with this 'do.

Urgh.

Can my hair grow to this length by next week?

###

Fake

Wearing my sister's cheap wig.

You should see my mom in it.

Or maybe not.

Nightmare.

###

Who got a gun?

Janie!


Ladies and gentlemen...Aerosmith!

I was swimming with Jing at Yio Chu Kang around 5pm when Sheda told me her hubby had to forego a pair of Aerosmith tickets because he had a work meeting to attend to...and she asked if I wanted them. The catch was that I had to collect the tickets from Syah (Sheda's hubby) at Robertson Quay.

I called my dad to see if he was interested to go. Alas, he said it was too last minute and he was tired and groggu from his nap. Lucky Jing could accompany me. Yay.

After a quick dinner, Jing and I cabbed down to Robertson Quay (7.45pm), got the tickets, cabbed to Gardens By the Bay (8.15pm) and was ready in the 'arena' by 8.20pm.

The opening act - Euphoria Audio (eeks what a name!) - did a 30-minute stint. They were okay, maybe bordering on trying-too-hard, I feel. But maybe that is just me.

Steve Tyler and gang only appeared at 9.40pm. Gosh. When they finally appeared, all was forgiven, I guess. He pranced, preened and playfully flirted with the audience. His voice...well..CD-like quality. His face? Well-stretched and leathery, haha.

It all ended two hours later and boy, I am glad to finally be home. After my 7km run yesterday, the swim earlier and standing/jiggling around for two hours at the concert, my legs really feel busted.

Time to rest these old bones.

...but there's the Champion's League final. Urgh.


###

Verdict

It all boiled down to these - two academic institutions, one edutainment centre.

I have made up my mind and will go with one of the institutions instead. I'll be back dealing with teenagers and young adults and I cannot wait to get the party started. I chose this because the location is near home and I can save a lot on transport.

Of course, I also believe in nurturing the young, sharing values and experiences with them. I think, even though I will be an educator, I will really learn a lot from these special ones as well. And although my holiday plans will be compromised (my leave days fall on school holidays), I still feel that it will all be worthy in the end :)

 

Watch out.

Miss Mona is back.

 

 

###



Those days

Throwback...TMC days.

Young and free then.

Memories :)

###

Absence of light is the necessary part

Perth was wonderful as always. Got reacquainted to old things and introduced to the new ones. Will I ever get sick of Western Australia? Are you kidding me? I still haven't explored many of the places there.

But you know what the best parts were?

In sequence:
- to find your dad waiting at the arrival gate even though it was almost midnight
- to see your dad buying for you Mcnuggets even though it was almost midnight
- to get news that you've gotten 3 job offers upon switching on phone at midnight
- to discuss life with your dad at McDonalds, over Mcnuggets, at midnight.

The best part of travelling for me?

The part where I come home :)



###

Perth story

Day 2 in Perth and I could not pass up the chance to have a little lie-down session at the beautiful park down in Fremantle.

Just chilling today. Went to the market, bought some nuts, headed to Cicerello's for seafood chowder and just roamed around. Life is good. No money to shop...but good otherwise.

Day 1 saw me 'lepak'-ing at a new place - Hillarys Boat Harbour. First time I came to this place and boy, I am in love.

The laidback vibe..the water..the boats and the various eateries are just great sighta for sore eyes I cant wait to bring my parents here. They would love it. Think they will not want to go home!

Tomorrow, I shall head to Busselton. I have been there before but only for a while. Tomorrow I will spend the wholw afternoon there.

Hope the great weather remains.
17C, ya'll!

###

Rejeter

6th one.

Though my eyes deny the mist, my heart is weeping and bleeding from the cuts. Afterall, there is only so much pain a soul can take.

I have always been rational and collected. Though I do have crazy impulses once in a while, I usually like to live my life in a systematic order (it may get chaotic but there is still order).

But no matter how much I plan, how many alternative solutions and conclusions I have, they are mean jack squat without His will.

So God, I have done my best.
Now...please guide me to see what is ahead.

:(


###

Burst

Read.

http://jamesrusselllingerfelt.wordpress.com/2013/04/25/date-a-boy-who-travels/

Whoever and wherever you are, I just want to say this:

My passport and I are ready.


###

Cause you're not it

Damn you.

###

Home

:)

Great years...and greater ones ahead

Thank you, Alex Ferguson.

Now, go enjoy the vacation you have rightfully deserved. No more suffering with the team *nudge nudge*.

I'll miss our late nights together...you at the dugout chewing your gum, me by the TV chewing my nails.

Live your life.
Be well.

###

Ibuku

"Bonda, akhirnya terbongkar jua rahsia tangisan dan gurindam keramat kasih sayangmu."

I love you, Mak.

###

Meeting your mother

Seriously, Robin?

No, Ted.

Walk away. Dont turn back. Walk away.

###

Sister's keeper

Wow. Three months passed so fast. Seems like it was yesterday that I was slaving away, fearing that I might just keel over and die from anxiety attacks at my work desk.

Yes, I did feel that way and while you might think that I was being overdramatic - how tough could the life of an entertainment writer/paparazzi be? - I cannot deny that was how I really felt day-in and day-out. Consumed by anxiety, paranoia and with self-esteem of an unpopular, pimply fat kid with a poofy outlandish dress at senior prom. When all these internal grievances manifested themselves into physical pains and diseases, I knew it was time to stop.

Actually I was expecting to go back to full-time employment in April. But pfft...like that did happen. Some hits and (mostly) misses I am experiencing but I am glad the parents are really not nagging. Well, they are not but my bills and medical invoices are screaming to be paid. So yes, the shenanigans have to stop real soon. Besides, time spent at home is time wasted not travelling. And for me, it is via travelling that I get to enrich myself. Bloody vicious circle of life, I must say.

Anyway, I am travelling down under in about 10 days' time. It's a bizarre situation, really, and under normal circumstances, I wouldnt even dare to dream of going back to Perth. However, this is not a normal circumstance because it involves my godsister, the ever eccentric Bee.

Bee has been working her ass off for 2 years (dont doubt me; she usually works at least 12 hours a day, 7 days a week...except when she is on staycation during public holidays or festive seasons) and she really needs her break before she turns cuckoo. She was supposed to go to Scandinavia with a couple of friends but they couldnt make it in the end and a heavy workload doesnt allow her to escape beyond a week. Next best choice for her is to head to Perth cause she loves that city and there are a few places in Western Australia she has been dying to go to.

So yes, she chose Perth. However, Bee is the sort who doesnt like to travel alone and would like to have a companion with whom she can share her thoughts with. She knew how much Perth meant to me and so, she invited me along on her adventure. Strangely, she only asked me an hour after she purchased her flight ticket online. Hah. Her messages/calls roused me from slumber. We didnt even discuss the date (she's going on the 18th-24th May). But those were not the big issues. The issues were:

- I am unemployed
- I dont have spare cash (well, technically, I dont know when my $$ will run out!)
- My parents will kill me if they know I'm going away cause I tell them I have no $$
- I have a medical appointment with TB Clinic on the 22nd
- (Have I said it already?) I am unemployed

So in my groggy state, I was somewhat arguing (at least that's what I could remember myself rambling about) with her but she said she really didnt want to be all alone and she knew how much I really love Perth. She said she would pay for the airfare, accommodation, everything. I just had to turn up at the airport, with some clothes and passport, and just fly away. She, however, couldnt argue about my medical appointment. So she said...4 days (18th-21st) of companionship was better than none at all and after I were to fly back, she said she would join a 3-day tour somewhere with other people. Wow. How could I top that enthusiasm? How could I say no?

Anyway, before you say anything or judge me, you must understand the relationship Bee and I have. We are like siblings. In fact, I am closer to her than my own brother now. I know more of her sorrows and joys than her own family do. I will die for her and so will she, for me. Of course I will pay her back for this trip when I am financially comfortable, even though she said I dont have to. So yeah...

I remember on one of her many staycation adventures, for some reason I couldnt make it for the first day of her 3-day hotel stay. When I met her on the following day, I found out that she did not sleep the whole night because (in her words) she was up watching tv and doing some work. However, I knew the real reason. She was scared to sleep alone. She was afraid someone would break into the hotel room while she was asleep. I remember her being slightly pissed cause I couldnt be there earlier. Though sometimes I feel like she is emotionally blackmailing me, but like family, we all just want to be together and know that we all have each other's back.

So hey. I am going to Perth in 10 days' time. While I am still jobless.

Duh.
No shopping.

###

You've got prawn-ed

Great Sunday.

That is all.

###

Blue blood

Happy Friday, ya'll.

###

Fortune's fool

What? This caught me off-guard. I thought, after Luhrmann's 1996 gem -- which is my #1 favourite movie of all time -- attempting to do a Romeo and Juliet flick in its original context will be boring. But, let's see. From the trailer, Hailee Steinfeld doesn't seem to have the charisma that Claire Danes had back then. But yes, we'll see.

Will I see it? Well, will I not watch my most favourite Shakespeare tragedy? No brainer. Spoiler or not (hah!), Luhrmann's or not, I'd watch it. Now, let's wait.

“Is love a tender thing?
It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous;
And it pricks like thorn.”

###

Golden boy

And Robin van Persie, with his hat trick, brought the trophy back home to Old Trafford.

Hooooray!

###

Tonight

We bring the baby home.

Home!


###

Attention

Officer Mona reporting for duty.

Dusty uniform and just realised...my ranks are out of date.

###

After 2 years...

...the uniform feels so uncomfortable.

###

Ouch much?

"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure.

"Now they are complaining they are unemployed," said Prince Philip.

Touche.

###

Atomic remix 2013

I was awake when news about the Boston blasts came in. Two people died, with one being an 8-year-old child.

On the other side of the world, almost 40 Iraqis have passed on.

It's not an equal world, just as I had studied in my politics class. Some people are more equal than the others. Some lives are just cheaper. We can argue, we can fight but it is not going to change mankind who always look for something to attack and conquer since the time of Adam.

Of course we strive to be civilised and thoughtful, but we cannot expect a universal acceptance or paradigm, for the very thing that makes us human is the freedom to do what we deem right.

In the meantime, on this part of this world, two new pimples just made an appearance on my face.

###

Stalking love

This evening, I ended up at Tiong Bahru Plaza for my late lunch. This place is kind of growing on me and though I must say there are many peculiar people on this part of the earth (haha!), the vibe is kind of charming.

Charming...like this couple sitting in front of me.

Hope they are a real hubby-wife combo, not an adulterous pair having a soiree.

###

Carry on

Two months of official unemployment.

One month of medication.

A little listless, a little jaundiced.

Side effects.

###

Whenever I'm alone...

I thought this season's American Idol has been a ... blah. And I have been right. But the last performance by Candice Glover was awesome. Damn. That is not even the right word.



Now Blake Lewis had done a take on that before. I loved it then and...I love it now. Candice's version is different and surreal. The Cure should be very very happy.

###

Naivete

So that was the look I saw many years ago.

Back then I wondered why. Was it something I did or didn't do? Did I do something wrong? Was I such a bad person that you perpetually had to wear that look?

Now, thanks to TV shows (yes, I'm a pop junkie...sue me!), I just found out what's with the face. It was guilt. Guilty all along.

Wow. I was so clueless.

Tsk.

###

Will die on the road

"But that's the glory of foreign travel, as far as I am concerned. I don't want to know what people are talking about.

I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything. Suddenly you are five years old again. You can't read anything, you have only the most rudimentary sense of how things work, you can't even reliably cross a street without endangering your life.

Your whole existence becomes a series of interesting guesses."

― Bill Bryson, Neither Here Nor There: Travels in Europe

###

17

Day 17...many, many more days to go.

By the way, if I am not wrong, it is about 100 days to Ramadhan.

###

Are you...blue?

More Thicke loving tonight.

Heh. Grinning like a 16-year-old in love.

Eh...that's a little wrong.

###

NSFW!

I have always loved..LOVED..guys with (urgh) swag. And two of my swaggiest men happen to be in this video.

I am talking about you, Pharrell Williams and TI.




Of course, the girls have nothing on me but Pharrell and TI..hawt damn.

*fans*

###

Learn to love again

This song is so...semangat.

Love it!

 

###

Day 12

Sobriety is good.

:)

###

Black parade down

Granted I was not a fan right from the beginning of their existence but when I heard their music from their second album in 2004, Three Chears for Sweet Revenge, I was hooked. And when their third album came in 2006 with all that rock opera hoopla (The Black Parade), I was sold.

Of course it was not an idea exclusive to their band but My Chemical Romance didnt take themselves too seriously. I love how they added elements of Goth and German Expressionism into their music. The 'art' was there, even though it was so subtle and some might even say thrashy.

Anyway, thank you My Chemical Romance for your music. Though you have dubbed as the lamer cousins of Queen, Pink Floyd, David Bowie and Green Day, your music and theatrics will be missed by me.

So long and goodnight.

"We hear the call to carry on, we'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone, believe me
Your memory will carry on, we'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
You're weary widow marches on...

###

I who have nothing

"Sometimes you feel so wrapped up feeling so sorry for yourself you don't realise that your close friends are suffering too."

...

It has been 41 days of official unemployment and I shouldnt get used to this. Must not let brain go to waste.

Had a second interview with a foundation yesterday. I am not going to bank on anything lest I get disappointed. Not that I am not enthusiastic, I have come to a stage in life where everything happens for a reason and if it is meant to be, it is meant to be. Of course it is not without effort. That is why I made the effort to find jobs, attend interviews and present myself the best way I can. It is just that, after the session is over, I have no control over the outcome and I must be ready to accept what's next in line on my plate of life.

Talking about interviews, another major one tomorrow.
But hey, no expectations.
Just be me
Albeit at my best and most presentable self :)


Just another dork.

So, what have I been doing?

For the past week, I have been dedicating some time to a girl friend who is having a rough patch in her married life. Something happened and she wanted to 'escape' and went out every day to drink, to feel the buzz of being remotely happy.

I am not a teetotaler and unfortunately, I did enjoy the pseudo-bliss that alcohol could bring before. But something recently happened (another story) and some changes had to be introduced into my life. Anyway, yes, I am not a teetotaler but I cant say that I approve of what the friend is doing though I do understand her need to escape from her woes, even for a short while.

However, I feel, sometimes it is hard to keep up and no one has asked me if I am emotionally or mentally available. Granted, she is my friend and friends should always be there for each other but sometimes, I get the feeling of I-need-you-now-so-come-and-be-with-me-now-if-you-are-my-friend. Sometimes people forget to ask "I know you are tired but would you please meet me for a while? I can do with some company right now."

And...why am I tired?
Here's the other story.

I am tired of thinking, of organising my life, of attending interviews, doing some freelance work and recently being on medication. Recently, the sister and I had been told that we have sleeping tuberculosis cells in our body. They are not infectious or active but we have been put on preventive medication to stop the cells from ever waking up.

Medication will go on for 6 months and one of the side effects is potential listlessness. In order not to aggravate the condition, people who take this medication need to refrain from smoking, drinking and taking drugs. Again, unfortunately, I do the occasional chugging so here's where I have to stop. This may not be the best route to sobriety and atonement but it is still a path. So, I am working on being able to see the end of the path. I am sure it is worthy.

So, yeah.

I have explained my state but the friend goes on lamenting how sucky that I will not be able to 'fly high' with her. She has been a pal and I don't want to sever ties just because of this, and not when she is at her most vulnerable. But sometimes I wonder if people really do care about others all the time.

Do my friends really think about me just like how I always think about them?
Am I just overthinking everything?
Am I just jealous of her real-life drama?
Am I too self-absorbed that I take offence in my friends not checking on my feelings?
What kind of a person am I?

*breathes*

I have never done so much self-reflection in my life. It all started with the Burma trip.

Oh, I really need to write about that.

###

Story of my heart

After a high, there comes a low. Feeling tad emo tonight.



"Cinta kau dan aku
Takkan mungkin bersatu
Untuk saat ini di dunia ini..."

###

Shine bright like a...

...sterling silver Tiffany bracelet.

My mother decided to get belated birthday gifts for my sister and I. We went to Tiffany's and ta-dah, she gave me this.

I am joyful. But I also think these are pity presents from Mother because recently, my sister and I were told that we have some potentially infectious and dangerous 'bad cells' in our bodies.

Yikes indeed.

Still, thank you so so much,
Me

Fossil

At a school camp. The men beside me, Ryan and Mike...well I knew them since they were 13. Now they are in their mid-20s.

I remember them being pesky cadets many many moons ago. I taught them footdrill, arms drill, survival skills, camp knowledge and many other knowledge which may or may not be useful in their lives.

Now...they are done with NS and in a couple of years' time, get married.

Wah.

I am so old.

###

Don't want the heart to break

Rule number one, is that you gotta have fun
But baby when you're done, you gotta be the first to run
Rule number two, just don't get attached to
Somebody you could lose
So le-let me tell you

This is how to be a heartbreaker
Boys they like a little danger
We'll get him falling for a stranger
A player, singing I lo-lo-love you
How to be a heartbreaker
Boys they like the look of danger
We'll get him falling for a stranger
A player, singing I lo-lo-love you
At least I think I do

Cause I lo-lo-lo-love you

Rule number three, wear your heart on your cheek
But never on your sleeve, unless you wanna taste defeat
Rule number four, gotta be looking pure
Kiss him goodbye at the door, and leave him wanting more, more

This is how to be a heartbreaker
Boys they like a little danger
We'll get him falling for a stranger
A player, singing lo-lo-love you
How to be a heartbreaker
Boys they like the look of danger
We'll get him falling for a stranger
A player, singing lo-lo-love you
At least I think I do

Cause I lo-lo-love you

Girls, we do, whatever it will take
Cause girls don't want, we don't want our hearts to break in two
So it's better to be fake, can't risk losing
In love again, ba-abe

This is how to be a heartbreaker
Boys they like a little danger
We'll get him falling for a stranger
A player, singing lo-lo-love you
How to be a heartbreaker
Boys they like the look of danger
We'll get him falling for a stranger
A player, singing lo-lo-love you

Cause I lo-lo-lo-love you

At least I think I do
###

Ode to the gender I love

There is always a weird vibe going on. So strange and glad we do not meet often. But when we did, I felt...refreshed. See? That's such a weird description. One does not feel refreshed upon meeting another person. One feels happy, angry, ecstatic. Anything but refreshed. Told you it is weird.

Or maybe it could be the presence of other elements.
Maybe. But that's not the point here.

I am thinking of what happened and I cannot help but smile. I am not big on conversations so I tend to pick up on little things like gestures, mannerisms and intentions and well, I think I kind of like what I have picked up.

Kind of, cause I am one who is never sure of anything. I go heads-on on things I do not know where they will lead me to. Some people do not like that part of me and I do not blame them. I do not like that sometimes too.

Where was I?

...

So you ask me many things. Things I am never sure of. You say maybe I am what I am because I am not part of a whole. You say two people make a whole and I am not a whole. You say I am not opening my eyes. You ask why I am not trying. You ask me if I like girls now cause I am just so blasé about men, love and relationships. That always makes me laugh because of all the things I am not sure of, I do definitely know girls are never my preference. At least right now.

...

So we opened up. You saw a bit of my world and you did not run away. Though I think you were too tired to get up from the chair.

I think you are getting more curious and braver though you insisting to prove something to me sometimes seems quite baffling. Whenever you do that, I find myself moving backwards each time that happens. The steps behind are always more than those little inches I manage to gather to the front. You see, I am never good around these things. I do not know how to feed your ego because growing up, I have always been left alone. I do not know how to react when there is someone sharing whatever tiny space I have around me.

Back to your ego.

Okay. I have nothing to say about your ego because I think you are behaving just like how other men are behaving. So I guess, it is a natual one. But, I just want to say it can be a buzz-kill. And you know me, it is always about the buzz, the vibe, the feel. Gosh, I am such a woman.

Anyway, it has been nice. I am not expecting anything because expectations always never do me good. You however are intense. Sometimes it scares the beezlebubs out of me whenever I see you. Which is not often and I am glad. I think.

I think your presence scares me. It does excite a little but it scares me more. Your world, your life, your hopes, your dreams. Dropping hints that I should be in them seems scary. Wait, are those hints? Or are you asking? Or are these the plans I am not sure of?

See, I do not want to be that crazy person who starts to question herself (this is an exception. this is my blog. peace.) and starts to ponder: (these are just examples. I am not saying that I have these thoughts with regards to my life)

"Does he like me?"
"Did he just ask me to be his wife?"
"Did he just say that to make me smile?"
"Did he just do that?"
"Does he do that to other girls?"
"What am I to him?"

See, these are the questions that will drive any girl crazy. I know because I have seen my girl friends going all mental when they start questioning themselves with these. And I do not want it upon myself so excuse me when I have that blank look on my face every once in a while because I am processing the semantics and pushing them out of my head within seconds.

And next time you see that split second blankness...*hint hint*...I think what you can do is to just take my hand and say everything will be okay.

Okay.
Maybe touching hand is a tough zone for me.
How about stroke/pat my back and say everything will be okay?
No...I might be all sweaty and uncomfortable.
How about just a knowing smile?

My my...an entry about everything, yet it really speaks of nothing. Just processing the semantics, I guess. You have been chilled all your life and your sudden surge of urgency is ...for the lack of a better word, refreshing. But I do like the chilled you. No drama. Not intense. Like I said, intense people scare the beezlebubs out of me. With me, you do not have to prove yourself. I like our air of innocence. You bring out the glee in me. Scared, but gleeful. Always feel like a little girl whenever we hang out.

Little girl as in feeling gleeful. Rolling-around-meadows, the-hills-are-alive kind of gleeful little girl. Not the paedophile-case files one.

So my dear Jake Gyllenhaal (haha!), this is me.
I hope I do not pass off as one psycho-bitch cause hell no, I am not.
I am not stone-cold or aloof or standoffish or nonchalant.
I am scared. Unsure. But with lots of glee.
I do not wear my heart on my sleeve.
I do not say I have innocence or purity.
But I do keep a clean, open and honest heart.
For whatever it is worth, I hope that is enough.
For now.

###

Some nights

35 days since I was officially jobless.

A lot of things happened - two weddings, a funeral, a trip to Burma, some interviews and a few trips to the hospital to accompany the father.

Of course, some heavy duty sleeping going on too. And reading. Finished 5 books. So proud of myself, even though the choice of books was not-so stellar. Dont ask.

All right. Will update on the Burmese trip soon. I'd kept a travel log when I was there and boy, it sure was some colourful recording. I cant wait to share but...ah...the thought of transferring them here sounds tedious already.

But...it will be done.

Eventually.

###

Gimme a reason

We can always love again.

Is it time?

###

The Oscar day!

30 mins to actual Oscars...here are my predictions!

Best Picture
"Beasts of the Southern Wild"
"Silver Linings Playbook"
"Zero Dark Thirty"
"Lincoln"
"Les Miserables"
"Life of Pi"
"Amour"
"Django Unchained"
"Argo

Ed's choice: Argo
Winner: Argo!!!


Best Supporting Actor
Christoph Waltz, "Django Unchained"
Philip Seymour Hoffman, "The Master"
Robert De Niro, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Alan Arkin, "Argo"
Tommy Lee Jones, "Lincoln"

Ed's choice: Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Winner:  Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained


Best Supporting Actress
Sally Field, "Lincoln"
Anne Hathaway, "Les Miserables"
Jacki Weaver, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Helen Hunt, "The Sessions"
Amy Adams, "The Master"

Ed's choice: Amy Adams, The Master
Winner: Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables


Best Director
David O. Russell, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Ang Lee, "Life of Pi"
Steven Spielberg, "Lincoln"
Michael Haneke, "Amour"
Benh Zeitlin, "Beasts of the Southern Wild"

Ed's choice: Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Winner: Ang Lee, Life of Pi


Best Actor
Daniel Day Lewis, "Lincoln"
Denzel Washington, "Flight"
Hugh Jackman, "Les Miserables"
Bradley Cooper, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Joaquin Phoenix, "The Master"

Ed's choice: Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Winner: Daniel Day Lewis, Lincoln


Best Actress
Naomi Watts, "The Impossible"
Jessica Chastain, "Zero Dark Thirty"
Jennifer Lawrence, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Emmanuelle Riva, "Amour"
Quvenzhané Wallis, "Beasts of the Southern Wild"

Ed's choice: Quvenzhane Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Winner: Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook


Best Original Screenplay
"Zero Dark Thirty"
"Django Unchained"
"Moonrise Kingdom"
"Amour"
"Flight"

Ed's choice: Moonrise Kingdom
Winner: Django Unchained


Best Adapted Screenplay
"Lincoln"
"Silver Linings Playbook"
"Argo"
"Life of Pi"
"Beasts of the Southern Wild"

Ed's choice: Argo
Winner: Argo


Best Animated Feature
"Frankenweenie"
"The Pirates! Band of Misfits"
"Wreck-It Ralph"
"Paranorman"
"Brave"

Ed's choice: Brave
Winner: Brave


Best Foreign Feature
"Amour"
"A Royal Affair"
"Kon-Tiki"
"No"
"War Witch"

Ed's choice: Amour
Winner: Amour


Best Visual Effects
"Life of Pi"
"The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"
"The Avengers"
"Prometheus"
"Snow White and the Huntsman"

Ed's choice: Life of Pi
Winner: Life of Pi


Best Cinematography
"Skyfall"
"Anna Karenina"
"Django Unchained"
"Life of Pi"
"Lincoln"

Ed's choice: Skyfall
Winner: Life of Pi


Best Costume Design
"Anna Karenina"
"Les Miserables"
"Lincoln"
"Mirror Mirror"
"Snow White and the Huntsman"

Ed's choice: Anna Karenina
Winner: Anna Karenina


Best Film Editing
"Lincoln"
"Silver Linings Playbook"
"Life of Pi"
"Argo"
"Zero Dark Thirty"

Ed's choice: Argo
Winner: Argo


Best Makeup and Hairstyling
"Hitchcock"
"The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"
"Les Miserables"

Ed's choice: Hitchcock
Winner: Les Miserables


Best Music (Original Score)
"Anna Karenina"
"Argo"
"Life of Pi"
"Lincoln"
"Skyfall"

Ed's choice: Life of Pi
Winner: Life of Pi


Best Music (Original Song)
"Before My Time" from "Chasing Ice"
"Everybody Needs A Best Friend" from "Ted"
"Pi's Lullaby" from "Life of Pi"
"Skyfall" from "Skyfall"
"Suddenly" from "Les Misérables"

Ed's choice: Skyfall
Winner: Skyfall


Best Sound Editing
"Argo"
"Django Unchained"
"Life of Pi"
"Skyfall"
"Zero Dark Thirty"

Ed's choice: Django Unchained
Winner: Tie -- Zero Dark Thirty & Skyfall


Best Sound Mixing
"Argo"
"Les Misérables"
"Life of Pi"
"Lincoln"
"Skyfall"

Ed's choice: Les Miserables
Winner: Les Miserables


See you next here, Oscar!


###

Dusty trail

Day 3 in Bagan.

Keep calm and eat dust

###

Sleepy.town

Here I am.

So sleepy.

It is 1250hrs Yangon time and I am already in my pyjamas. Too hot outside and I am too sleepy.


###

Moonrise

Am on my way to the airport...to Yangon.

Pray for my well-being. And of course, rest assured that I will take care of myself and be a good person.

Bismillahirahmanirahim.
May my journey be sheltered from harm.


Amin amin rabbal al amin.

###

Morning...

Not Van Persie's day...

...and Kagawa's.


10 more mins at the Bernabeu.


###

Sing to the dawn

It's Wednesday now. That means I am just two days shy of my great Burmese escape. Well, not really an escape - just a week. But truth be told, I am actually kind of nervous. So funny. We share almost similar culture yet I am nervous. I would have been more comfortable in Aussie or US but no, I had to choose Myanmar.

And to think I got tickets without even knowing I had to get a visa.
The nerves!

So here's the rough plan.

Day 1-2
- land in Yangon
- check out Shwedagon Paya

- Kyaikto
- Aung San Suu Kyi house (if I can!)

 

 

Day 3-5

- reach Bagan

- lepak
- Bagan temples

- travel in horse/cart

- lepak

- take hot air balloon (possible if I beg the operators to take me in for free. No $$$)

Day 5-6

- reach Inle

- lepak

- Inle Lake

Day 7

- Yangon

Day 8

- Home

....hope it goes well.

###

Apple

...still freaking out.

*breathes*

Think of your happy place.
New York was my happy place.
Perth was my happy place.
Tioman was my happy place.
I am my happy place.
Happy.

Dont freak out. It'll pass. Soon comes sunrise and nothing's worth the suss.

We'll be all right.


###

Ah, freak out!

Barely two days of unemployment and here I am...at 3am on Chinese New Year...eating ice cream and breaking in cold sweat.

Did I make the right move?

I know I had thought it over. But the thinking was when I had a job. Now it is a different kind of thinking.

The last time I did I was 26. It turned out fine and I discovered teaching was the love of my life.

It's 7 years later now. I dont know what it is going to happen.

And I freaked out cause I saw my January bills. Bills which I already paid and was about to throw them away. Freaked out what if I cannot pay the next bills...and the next...and the next?

Oh boy.


###

Medusa

Wishing everyone a good Chinese New Year break.

Gong xi fa cai!
Xin nian kuai le!
Wan shi ru yi!
Bu bu jian kang!
Nian nian you yu!
Ming nian you boyfriend!
San nian you baby!

###

New

The day has come. It is today. Felt like yesterday it all started. ###

Saturday night live

Good lord it's already February and that means...yup...my working days in you-know-where are almost over. This time next week I'll be jobless.

I'm going to miss that place and the people I've come to know, especially Foon, Steve and Nani. They made my stay there so lively. Going to miss going back home with Meiling too.

Of course I'll miss the work. Though I know I'm not good at it but it did open my eyes to the world of entertainment. And I met my childhood Bollywood hero - Kamal Hassan - face to face!

...of course I dont like him anymore after that cause dude's such a diva.

Good times.

So, what am I going to do?

Going take some time off. Spend time with my family, look after my health for a bit cause it hasnt been peachy lately. Follow my dad to check ups cause apparently his lungs and heart are having some complications.

I will do freelance teaching whenever I can (at $100 an hour I dont mind not having CPF for the time being!) and maybe freelance writing too. This freelancing life is going to be interesting. We'll see how long it will last.

So...that's life in short.

More updates to come.


###

Ya lah!

At the Sentosa Experiential museum.


###

What would I do...

My dad has been on my mind lately, ever since he shared the health scare with us. Nothing else to say without me feeling all sick in the stomach thinking about it. So here's Drew Holcomb & the Neighbours.



Sometimes I wake up with a sadness
Other days, it feels like madness
So, what would I do without you

When colors turn to shades of gray
With the weight of the world at the end of the day
Oh, what would I do without you

A decade goes by without a warning
And there's still a kindness in your eyes
Amidst the questions and the worry
A peace of mind always takes me by surprise

I feel like I'm walking with eyes as blind
As a man without a lantern in a coal mine
Oh, what would I do without you

My imagination gets the best of me
And I'm trying to hide
Lost at sea
Oh, what would I do without you

The difference between what I've said and done
And you're still standing by my side
A guilty soul and a worried mind
I will never make it
If I'm on my own

So you got the morning
I got midnight
You are patient
I'm always on time
Oh, what would I do without you

You got your sunshine
I got rain clouds
You got hope
I got my doubts

So, what would I do without you
Oh, what would I do without you
Oh, what would I do without you

###

Bay

After a night at Marina Bay Sands with dear ole Meiling, it is time to go to work.

Birthday's over.

Life goes on.


###

The end sums up the beginning

May it get better.

Happy birthday!

:)


###

Meet Eve

It's the day before the first day of my 33rd life. How do I feel?

Amidst all the health scare happening around me, I feel blesses that I still have the chance to turn older. I never thought I could live beyond 28. Silly, I know.

So yes...32nd year has been bizarre. Slightly chaotic. But the highlight was that I got to go to Italia - something I didnt think I could do in my 20s.

So...here's to another good age. More rounded and a curvier set of numbers.

Thank you my friends for celebrating it witb me.

###

And the award goes to...(a rehearsal)

Am hating this new Blogger layout. Will transfer to Wix soon, I swear. But, in time.


ANYWAY of all the things I recorded in this still-surviving-but-gasping-for-air blog, I didnt explain the medical check-up that I had last week. It was the check-up of my life so far and what came out of it wasnt really good.

But I am not in any mood to pen that down. Illness comes and goes, I guess. And I think constant worrying will feed it further. So, I'll just try to live well and hope for the best.
It's almost mid-January and that means...aaah...the birthday is coming. 33 - what a number.Double the curves, double the bends. Not sure if things will be smooth-sailing but I am sure whatever it is, it will be interesting.

With the passing of January, it also means that the frantic season of the Academy Awards, aka Oscars, is coming. In fact, the nomination list was officially out last night and damn, so many movies I have to see before the actual day on 25 Feb.
The movies are slowly being released and if I cannot catch all (of course I cant. Wreck-It Ralph is not my thing!), I at least need to clear my Best Picture roll.

*breathes*
Here goes nothing.
Will only make predictions a few days before the day itself, after I see most, if not all of the movies.

Best Picture
"Beasts of the Southern Wild"
"Silver Linings Playbook"
"Zero Dark Thirty"
"Lincoln"
"Les Miserables"
"Life of Pi"
"Amour"
"Django Unchained"
"Argo

Best Supporting Actor
Christoph Waltz, "Django Unchained"
Philip Seymour Hoffman, "The Master"
Robert De Niro, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Alan Arkin, "Argo"
Tommy Lee Jones, "Lincoln"

Best Supporting Actress
Sally Field, "Lincoln"
Anne Hathaway, "Les Miserables"
Jacki Weaver, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Helen Hunt, "The Sessions"
Amy Adams, "The Master"

Best Director
David O. Russell, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Ang Lee, "Life of Pi"
Steven Spielberg, "Lincoln"
Michael Haneke, "Amour"
Benh Zeitlin, "Beasts of the Southern Wild"

Best Actor
Daniel Day Lewis, "Lincoln"
Denzel Washington, "Flight"
Hugh Jackman, "Les Miserables"
Bradley Cooper, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Joaquin Phoenix, "The Master"

Best Actress
Naomi Watts, "The Impossible"
Jessica Chastain, "Zero Dark Thirty"
Jennifer Lawrence, "Silver Linings Playbook"
Emmanuelle Riva, "Amour"
Quvenzhané Wallis, "Beasts of the Southern Wild"

Best Original Screenplay
"Zero Dark Thirty"
"Django Unchained"
"Moonrise Kingdom"
"Amour"
"Flight"

Best Adapted Screenplay
"Lincoln"
"Silver Linings Playbook"
"Argo"
"Life of Pi"
"Beasts of the Southern Wild"

Best Animated Feature
"Frankenweenie"
"The Pirates! Band of Misfits"
"Wreck-It Ralph"
"Paranorman"
"Brave"

Best Foreign Feature
"Amour"
"A Royal Affair"
"Kon-Tiki"
"No"
"War Witch"

Best Visual Effects
"Life of Pi"
"The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"
"The Avengers"
"Prometheus"
"Snow White and the Huntsman"

Best Cinematography
"Skyfall"
"Anna Karenina"
"Django Unchained"
"Life of Pi"
"Lincoln"

Best Costume Design
"Anna Karenina"
"Les Miserables"
"Lincoln"
"Mirror Mirror"
"Snow White and the Huntsman"

Best Documentary Feature
"Searching for Sugar Man"
"How to Survive a Plague"
"The Gatekeepers"
"5 Broken Cameras"
"The Invisible War"

Best Documentary Short
"Open Heart"
"Inocente"
"Redemption"
"Kings Point"
"Mondays at Racine"
"Snow White and the Huntsman"

Best Film Editing
"Lincoln"
"Silver Linings Playbook"
"Life of Pi"
"Argo"
"Zero Dark Thirty"

Best Makeup and Hairstyling
"Hitchcock"
"The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"
"Les Miserables"

Best Music (Original Score)
"Anna Karenina"
"Argo"
"Life of Pi"
"Lincoln"
"Skyfall"
Best Music (Original Song)
"Before My Time" from "Chasing Ice"
"Everybody Needs A Best Friend" from "Ted"
"Pi's Lullaby" from "Life of Pi"
"Skyfall" from "Skyfall"
"Suddenly" from "Les Misérables"

Best Production Design
"Anna Karenina"
"The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"
"Les Misérables"
"Life of Pi"
"Lincoln"

Best Short Film, Animated
"Adam and Dog"
"Fresh Guacamole"
"Head over Heels"
"Maggie Simpson in 'The Longest Daycare'"
"Paperman"

Best Short Film, Live Action
"Asad"
"Buzkashi Boys"
"Curfew"
"Death of a Shadow (Dood van een Schaduw)"
"Henry"

Best Sound Editing
"Argo"
"Django Unchained"
"Life of Pi"
"Skyfall"
"Zero Dark Thirty"


Best Sound Mixing
"Argo"
"Les Misérables"
"Life of Pi"
"Lincoln"
"Skyfall"
Gonna camp in cinemas when I am not at work.


###

Are we humans?

Now I know 3/4 of the story.

How can a heart be so cold?

How can a love grow so old?

We will never ever ever ever get back together, said Taylor Swift.

And with that, the chapter ends.


P/S: No...not my love story which os yet to find a parking spot.

Down all around in and out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hphfK8YMphc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I am not embarrassed to say I can rap to this filth.

Till this day.


###

Discuss Disgust

Four days into the new year and already I feel god damn dirty.

No...I am.

Right now I am just so disgusted, upset and at my wits' end with...myself.

Hope this is not a sign of a stinking year.


...touche.


###

Satyricon

Spending quality time with my Queen...my fairy godmother, Kylie Minogue.

Happy new year, Queen Mother.


###

Ringleader

My favourite?

Queen's Show Must Go On.

Indeed 2013.

###

Buon anno

First post of 2013. Hope this marks a good year. The zodiac predicts a lousy year but seriously, it read a crappy one last year too and all the years before. So as usual, horoscopes to the curb. Never a fan of them cause they're all a farce. I wrote them myself when I was a radio presenter.

Oops.
Did I say that?

So what did you do last night? I rung in the New Year in the middle of a road, crossing a traffic light after watching a really sad French movie called 'Amour'.

It's about this old man who struggled through to take care of his wife who had stroke...and then when she was in so much pain, he smothered her with a pillow to end it all.

While watching the show I remembered Bibik's last days at the hospital 3 years ago. Just like that. Her gasping...her soft moaning...okay let's stop this now.

2012. What was your highlight? Mine definitely were my travel stories.

This time in 2012, I just came home from Bali after a night of great kampung partying under the stars. I had a good trip to Hong Kong in March with the parents, sister and Lexie and finally got to share my passion for Hong Kong with the people I love.

Then somewhere in April (or May?), I had a really short break and headed to Krabi with the sister for some sea loving. I got a really cool accommodation...had the pool just steps away from my bed...and spent most of my time in the water. Cause I am such a sea baby, I took my country bumpkin sister island hopping around Phi Phi island and swim/snorkel. I really fell in love with Krabi and have plans of heading back :)

But of course my ultimo highlight was my 15-day adventure in Italia with Lauren and Jing.

Milan, Venice, Tuscany (Florence, Pisa, San Gimignano, Arezzo, San Giovanni), Vatican and Rome...we walked through them all till my soles were cobbled-beaten. I even managed to squeeze a football match between AS Roma (Totti!!) and Bologna at the majestic Stadio Olimpico. Oh...and Liz's wedding at the beautiful Villa Barberino at the Tuscan countryside. My, that was a great day.

Of course I got a lot of flak for taking a 2-week leave from work. I was told that in future, I couldnt take such a long leave. That got me really ruffled and immediately I felt so suffocated...chained with an iron ball at my feet. Still I had to be above my emotions and hung on.

Yes. It's just that but I felt that 'commandment' was the heaviest sentence to befall on me. Not that I was planning to go away for two weeks again every month but to know that I couldnt do it anymore made my heart ache so badly. I couldnt imagine not doing what I love most - to travel far and wide.

To not be able to go away after a period of being a rat in a sad rodent life (modern life is rubbish) is devastating. Four months after and I am still hurt. It undermined the euphoria I felt while in Italy. I felt angry upon return.

But I have let it past. At 32, I am less angry. I dont resign (myself to fate) but I have learnt to be diplomatic, pragmatic, elastic...fantastic..etc. I believe strongly in karma and I let God now do the judging.

So help me, God.

Love-wise...2012 must be one of the most boring years in that aspect. Sure, heart fluttered a few times but none was strong enough to turn into something else.

BUT it is okay. I have seen marriages rocky enough for me to stay away. Though I love the idea of a matrimonial union, I'm not the sort who grovel and bemoan of the lack thereof.

No...never the grovelling and clingy kind. What kind of love requires one to be like that anyway? Where pride goes on the line? Where you hang yourself out to dry?

Hah. Maybe that's why I am still single. Never take things serious enough to be beyond myself. Ah. It is okay.

So 2013. Just want to be happy. To do what I love. To get what I deserve. To feel what I am worth. All that constitute to being happy.

Oh...of course to spend time with my nieces and parents before they get too old.

Too old to hang out with their cool auntie. Too old to live.

Happy new year, my friend.


###