Or an angel under grace

Don’t nag, Fifi. I promise myself that if I ever get myself a husband, I will make sure he knows how to operate the washing machine. I don’t know. I just cant bring myself to go near a washing machine. The buttons scare the hell out of me.



Yup. Virgin no more.


Was watching the live telecast of Siti Nurhaliza-Datuk K’s wedding on TV3 just now. The wedding was held at KLCC and LAVISH was the word. Siti looked gorgeous as usual and I could imagine the rest of the Datuks present in the same room cry a thousand rivers.

It also made me realise how I have OD-ed on weddings all within these past 3 days. Too pretty, too sweet, too romantic…the cynic in me is contemplating suicide, I tell you.



And Fifi told me that next week is Aidil’s wedding..and that Shadiq is getting married on the January 28, 2007. Who else? Come on…just bring it on. And I met Nazri at Faizal-Noreen’s wedding reception last Sunday and he told me that his wedding will be held end of the year.

- Aidil: 3rd September
- Susan: 25th November
- Nazri: somewhere in December
- CY: 6th January
- Shadiq: 28th January


Oh well.


I am tired. And yes, you are right. I have a big problem with commitments. Especially in that sense. I just cant see myself in it. But let me just put it down to this…I haven’t met Jet Lee The One yet.

Do I keep searching? No…If you think you are The One, just appear in front of me, okay? Chances are..if you think you are The One, then you are The One.

Erm..yeah.

My head is a box full of nothing
And that's the way I like it
My garden's a secret compartment
And that's the way I like it
And that's the way I like it
Your body's a dream that turns violent
And that's the way I like it
And that's the way I like it
The winter is long in the city
And that's the way I like it

So please
Baby please
Open your heart
Catch my disease

I was backstage in Pomona
And that's the way I like it
She drank beer with coca-cola
And that's the way I like it
And that's the way I like it
She told me about the winds from Santa Anna
And that's the way I like it
And that's the way I like it
She told me she loved me like fireworks
And that's the way I like it

So please
Baby please
Open your eyes
Catch my disease

They play Good Charlotte on the radio
And that's the way I like it
They play Sleepy Jackson on the radio
And that's the way I like it
And that's the way I like it
I hear Beyonce on the radio
And that's the way I like it
And that's the way I like it
They don't play me on the radio
Tut that's the way I like it

So please
baby please
Open your heart
And catch my disease - Catch My Disease, Ben Lee

A thousand times goodnight, dreamers who sleep and sinners who weep.

###

It's not BMW that I need...

Became an acting-stockbroker today. I have no slightest idea..okay, maybe I have a bit...of what the hell am I buying.

I smell chicken.
The aroma is coming from the pantry behind.
Gimme the chicken!

Anyway...

I think it is HIGH time to exercise. I am lucky that the past weeks' food fest didnt incite any weight gain. THANK YOU GOD. But something is telling me not to be too happy. It is time to pound the tracks, stretch those muscles, pull a hamstring and break a metatarsal.

But when?

Tsk tsk tsk.
I am asking meself this too.


P/S: I think it is high time I buy that bloody BMX.


(emailed)

###

When love has no meaning..

Am reading up on stocks…what have I got meself into? Do you know that I have an allergy towards numbers?


Anyway…


Is it wrong for me to demand more out of this life?
Out of this agreement that I have?
Out of this complex social relationship that I have?
Why is it difficult for me to believe there are many good things out there?
At which point in life had I become jaded?

I am waiting for the apple of an idea to drop.
I am waiting for the next planet to be found. Sorry Pluto, you dont qualify.
I am waiting for Romeo to rise from the dead.
I am waiting for this..I am waiting for that.
I hate it when many things hinge on the next pay check.

And is it okay for me not to fall in love?
Let it pass me by as I sit like a lemon waiting to shrivel?
Or do I rather pine?
Pine for something even I don’t know of its existence?
My heart cannot handle another ache.
So will it be wise for me to raise up the defence?

Yeah life can be a bitter pill.
And like Zoe Tay, I have to swallow it.
Do you swallow?

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
I'd never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No I don't wanna fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
No I don't wanna fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
With you

What a wicked game you played to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you
what a wicked thing to say you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do to make me dream of you

And I don't wanna fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
No I don't wanna fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
With you

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I'd never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I'd never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No I don't wanna fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
No I don't wanna fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
With you (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
No I... (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
Nobody loves no one - The Wicked Game, Chris Isaak

Exactly.
It will take a person with an enormous heart and faith to change me definitely.
You think you can?

A thousand times goodnight, brave applicants.

###

The weekend that went PINK

Was thinking of catching Ghost Game @ Jubilee. But the thought of watching a scary show alone scared the hell out of me. Did my laundry instead…which turned out to be scarier. Gah!


Woke up bright and no-so-early at noon and after a couple of sms-es to the Bride, I actually went back to sleep. The next thing I knew, I had Clara calling on the home line asking me where the hell I was for it was already 1400hrs. I was like..what?????

Grabbed a black dress and jeans and rushed down to Hougang CC, obviously still stoned and half-asleep and make-up-less. Eh, I managed to shower okay! Clara and Weiling were already there (Liah couldn’t come cause she had to work) and they continued eating with me. Went over to Noreen and Faizal to say "hi". The Bride and Groom were having their lunch.

[Pictures were taken from Clara’s camera. By that I mean…I took these pictures on my phone, from her camera screen.]



Hahaha.
Beware of the crazy bride with the deadly weapon headgear.


Soon Stella, Weiling’s cousin, came to join us. After finishing our food, we went into the “changing” room to see the Bride and Groom. They were getting ready for the next “parade” in another set of clothes.

[Pictures look terrible. Will post the actual ones when I actually have them.]






So the couple were back on their throne and all their minion subjects came forward to take photos.



Weiling, Stella, Ed and Clara…the minions.


After lingering around for a while, it’s time for us to take our leave…and for Weiling to buy more 4D numbers on the Bride’s behalf.

Anyway, these are taken at Noreen’s yesterday…snapped these from Clara’s camera screen just now.



Can die…so pink!
Just realised that the four of us have almost similar hair length. So boring.


Later.


P/S: Newcastle sucks big time.Hopefully Blackburn can prove my theory (that they too, suck!) wrong.


###

It's not only rainbows and butterflies...

Day 1 of 2 days of celebrations had ended and boy, was it a pretty, princess-y royal affair.

But before I continue…



The four of us would like to say..

SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU NOREEN AND FAIZAL! May your marriage be as steady as a rock, withstanding obstacles that may come your way. May you bask in matrimonial bliss, enjoying it till a ripe old age. And dearest Madam Noreen, rejoice. Sex is halal now : )

It’s true, what!

Weiling, Clara, Liah and I popped in bright and early at about 1000hrs and we got busy taking photographs. The fact that all of us wore pink (various shades and all) was hilarious enough. I thought we looked like Hello Kitty gone wrong. When we went into Noreen’s room, we could possibly fade into her curtains and bedsheet..hah!

And mentioning Noreen’s room, there she was..sitting pretty in her extraordinary dress for the solemnisation ceremony which took place at 1100hrs. Her white furry carpet was littered with rose petals, her bed canopy was filled with pretty butterflies and her curtains were decorated with charming flowers. Her crystal chandelier was hanging so gorgeously in the middle of the room. I could only gawk in amazement. When will I ever get such a pretty room?

Faizal and his entourage came. The ceremony was held outside and the marriage officer (Tuk Kadi) soon came in with documents for Noreen to sign. When Faizal came in, us girls got a bit out of hand and began the teasing. Well, we have always known Faizal is a good sport. Anyway, many people came into the room and the four of us soon found ourselves a corner and we began our photo-whoring.


[Most pictures are taken with Clara’s and Weiling’s cameras. Will load them up once I get hold of them. In the meantime, enjoy mine from my lousy mobile camera.]







The solemnisation ended 1.5hrs later and the four of us were so hungry we left the house and hopped, skipped and ran to McDonalds. Liah and I were so embarrassed to order our food in the baju kurung (hahaha) we made the Chinese girls did it for us. At about 1315hrs, we made our way to Cheng San CC…where Noreen’s wedding reception was held.

The place was decorated beautifully and the stage and the wedding dais were spectacular. Noreen was escorted by her cousin up the stage and onto her throne…to wait for her King to come. She looked resplendent in the pink wedding costume, looking all radiant.



At about 1430hrs, the beatings of the kompangs (hand drums) were heard and that meant, Faizal the Groom was already in the premises.



Hahaha. He had a hard time getting to his Queen because there were “obstacles” he had to go through…like making his way across a “gate” guarded by Noreen’s little cousins. And once up on the stage, again he was “blocked” by more of Noreen’s relatives.



We stayed and ate. The parents also came down..together with Weiling’s boyfriend and her mother. I saw Madam Kamariah, my Malay teacher back in secondary school and she actually hugged both Liah and I. That was weird, man…but well, we had always been her better students hahaha.

At about 1600hrs, we bade the King Groom and Queen Bride goodbye. We went to buy 4D (numbers handpicked by the Bride herself on Thursday..hahahaha) and after that, we headed to Apollo Centre for a wailing session. I was tired but hey…how often do I spend time with my girlies anyway, right?

After karaoke, we (together with Junyi, Weiling’s bf) walked to Lao Pa Sat for dinner. It was indeed a nice get-together where we reminisced our carefree teenage lives. We updated Junyi on tales of us growing up and hahaha I hope he didn’t find us idiotic. Didn’t think he dared to voice out any rude comments anyway haha.

Dinner was soon over and we parted ways…while I continued my night with Adrian and Shuxiang (hahahahaha why did it sound so wrong?) and caught a movie in town.

Of course I was tired at this point but hey, I love my weekends too much to sleep it away.

And tomorrow (or rather, later) we are going to Part 2 of the wedding…the wedding reception organised by Faizal’s side at Hougang CC. This time…no more baju kurung for me. I think I shall wear a dress.

More pictures then.

Right now…I think I shall go get me some rest. Dawn is almost breaking…and I can feel melancholy seeping in. It is too complicated to explain it. I guess only my heart knows why.


Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved (She Will Be Loved, Maroon 5)


Oh yeah..I know i know. The four of us looked haggard and old..complete with terrible eye-bags.



P/S: Inn Tian, I am not just flowers,cakes and empty promises okay.

###

Javier's more courageous than me

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Our Deepest Fear, Marianne Williamson

........

Caught AKEELAH AND THE BEE and I thought it was brilliant! Heartwarming and exciting at the same time. Inspiring and doubting at the same time. They should make many such shows. It is painfully awesomely real. It is life.






Akeelah: [Javier has just kissed her] Why'd you do that?
Javier: I had an impulse. Are you gonna sue me for sexual harassment?

Hahaha.

You know to some, winning is not everything although it doesn’t mean they are giving anything less than 100%. To these people, it is the experience they have gained along the way which is far more important. It is the self-discovery and inner revelation that keep them satisfied. They don’t have to lift a trophy to know that they are the best. They don’t have to wear a badge on their chest to know that they are #1. They know it all…in their hearts. They give their best and God will do the rest.

I am such person. I don’t just look at the trophy. I look beyond the trophy. Some may not understand. It’s okay. They are just not spiritually connected as I am, I guess. Haha!

Akeelah and the Bee is simple and predictable YET it successfully brings out genuine warmth and empathy. Some of us know how it was like trying to fit in schools. Couldn’t be too dorky…couldn’t be too smart. This show manages to capture that and well, I love it.

It is definitely one of those shows that I will like to have just for the fact that one day, I want to sit down and watch it with my children.

Yes.. I do have extreme visualisation sometimes.

Wedding march...

 

I am so so tired.

 

Went to town with Hira after work and after attacking Metro, we went to CK Tangs for there was a sale. Saw quite a few pretty dresses but i had to curb my enthusiasm because haha as much as i love dresses, i just dont have that much money. Hmm..maybe next week, when i get my pay *wink*. Bought a pair of wedges instead..$9.90!

 

Was home by 2230hrs and was thinking of catching a late show either at Jubilee or at Bishan. But wasnt in the mood to watch it alone...so yeah, i canned the idea instead. Maybe tomorrow I can do it. I need my movies. I want to catch Ghost Game, Akeelah and the bee, devil wears prada and possibly, snakes on a plane.

 

so many,,,

 

 it's Noreen's BIG DAY and well..hopefully things go well tmrw. Quite excited about it.

 

Excited...and sleepy.

 

A thousand times goodnight, my lovely bride.

 

###

 

Guten tag, ya'll

It's Friday and i am dressed in a dress...looking like a doctor based in the African safari. I think I look funny. Not funny weird...but funny ha-ha.

Is it because I am short? Grrrr....

But I dont care. Let me wear a dress once in a while, can?


What to do today........

(emailed)

###

So please...catch my disease

Finally figured how to “Bluetooth” my phone images to my computer. Damn. I should have taken more pictures yesterday and just now.

Clara, Weiling and I popped over to Noreen’s house just now to pay the bride-to-be a visit. There was a thanksgiving prayer session going on so we three had to linger at the corridor for a good 30 minutes.


These are the stuff that Noreen is giving Faizal for the “exchange” session. Clara thought the shirt was a pyjama top. Woman! It’s a shirt from Gap, lah!



The bride-to-be…having henna “plastered” all over her toes and fingers. She lost some weight and was looking quite gaunt. Oh no..

Anyway, we got Saturday planned as to what time we all have to meet for the solemnisation ceremony at Bride’s house. We all have to dress either in pink, cream or white. Got my pink baju kurung ready already…cant wait.


Thank you for voting, people. Thank God Jon and Hady are still in the game. Phew.


Okay…I’ve got nothing else to say apart from “I’m broke already”. Am waiting for my pay to come in and oh…the cheque from the magazine. Mentioning which…I need to start cracking on the article.


Feel like catching a show…as for what show, let me sleep on it.

A thousand times goodnight, hard-party people.


###

I talked to you God...

...but as always, the sky was empty.


Quiet hours
You have always been my wildflower
Showing up wherever beauty's lost its way
Your heart must break
I was free
Until I heard the song you sang me to me
Pulling me away from everything I knew
To be with you

And everything I know just fades away
And every time you go it hurts me so
I don't know why when I know we're free
Free to fly

Here we are
Burning faster than the closest star
Falling back down to the Earth
I love you so it sometimes hurts
Closer still
You will find me standing on the hill
Waiting for you with my arms stretched open wide
Now, come inside

And everything I know just fades away
And every time you go it hurts me so
I don't know why when I know we're free
Free to fly

And everything I know just fades away
And when a wildflower grows it picks its space
And that's the way it is when nature plays its lovely hand
You'll understand everything
Everything…
Everything... - Wildflower, Sheryl Crow


*sniff*

P/S: My next article will bring me out of Dongtan, China...to Barcelona, Spain. I have to start cracking soon. Here we go again. Snow White, it's time to go for road trips again.

###

It's FOOTBALL...not soccer

My baby-faced assassin scored in the the final minute in this morning's cruncher...sealing a 3-0 win over Charlton. With Rooney and Scholes away, we had Darren Fletcher in the line-up and he started the demolition with the 1st goal in the 49th minute, followed by Saha's left-footed beauty in the 80th minute.

Did someone say Chelsea? Pah! They lost to Boro...with everyone's favourite Australian, Mark Viduka broke the 1-1 draw at the 90th minute. Congratulations, Southgate.

Drifted in and out of sleep while watching football. Damn. Now that the EPL season has begun, I have to get used to an erratic bed time again.

Hah, not that it has always been stable in the first place. But what to do...I love my football. And well, I think our AIG-ed jersey doesnt look that bad after all. Hmmm....buy. Shall ask the brother to get white and I get the red one.



...still fasting and going strong...


(emailed)

###

My heart goes to you...

Madonna’s bullcrap is irritating the hell out of me…not forgetting her new song Get Together. Damn passé, lah! Kylie and Danni Minogue had done it light years ago. Not forgetting X.Press2, Madison Avenue and Roger Sanchez. So enough of dance music already. At least…make it hip.

And mentioning “dance”…my colleagues have hailed me as the King (not Queen, mind you!) of the Bronx. Because I dropped it hotter than Snoop, Pharrell, Ludacris, Usher and Nelly combined. And uh..definitely dipped it lower than Milian. Hahahahahahahaha.


You got served, ladies!


Met the 2 ladies at Bishan’s Thai Express just now. Was 30 minutes late because..haha surprise surprise…I was at work till 1900hrs. Anyway, Sharinah and I treated the birthday girl to dinner and we passed her our birthday present. Hope you like it Meiling and may your Korean trip be enjoyable and relaxing. Gucci! Gucci! I want Gucci!

(Pictures of dinner with the birthday girl will come later. Watch this space.)


………


Anyway…I did another first. For the first time in my entire life, I finally sent an invoice for my work. The invoice, thanks to an online template, looked professional..haha..proud of meself. And now they want me to write 2 more articles within the next few weeks. Great.


This is the July issue. I think mine is in the August issue. Funny. Shouldn’t it be in the September one instead? Maybe the architectural/building/construction industries work 1 month behind, no?

Whatever it is…I’m glad that I have this opportunity. I will whine and gripe and all…but well, this is a step towards my eventual taitai-dom. But hah, I can already feel the impending fatigue…physically and mentally.


Thank God for my 1-week unemployment break on the first week of Sept.

Mentioning which…I think I will just stay earthbound. Think I’ll go kite-flying and back to running. And well, weekdays are the best days to hit the beach. And of course, getting lost and high on the reel cinematic life.

Now…if only I ..tsk..never mind. I’ll get by.

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? - Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol


A thousand times goodnight, lost lonely soul. Find me, I’m here.


P/S: I am staying up until now (0300hrs) to catch the Man U match. But the father is watching RockStar Supernova instead. Dammit.


###

Rush rush..hurry hurry

I am rushing my work so that i can spend dinner with the birthday girl. I am working at top speed now finishing 2 logs today.

I can...
I can...
I can make it in time.


(emailed)

###

Hey hey it's CHICKEN Day!

Yup it's Wednesday and that only means...POPEYE'S!

Am meeting the da-jies tonight and we are going Thai. Hope the birthday girl likes the present..an Adidas backpack. I think she will find it handy for her coming Korean trip. Woah..I also want to fly.

Clara and I are popping by The Bride's place tomorrow. I think it's the least I can do. This is bad. We dont even have a hen night for her. I feel so sucky. She's the first among us to get married and yet, there's not much..erm..fanfare(?). Guess The Bride herself is busy too. She is only coming back today after a period of intensive flying all around the globe.

Anyway...

Will we get emotional this weekend? If The Bride cries, I am sure I definitely will. It is starting to get to me. No that I am sad she is getting married. Definitely not! It's just that..you know..weddings..marriages..very happy-yet-emotional affairs, you know. Some more...we are all such close friends who grow up together. It's like a cuckoo leaving its nest!

After 10 years of talking about this, we have come to a point in our lives where it is actually happening.

Sometimes, I still forget that we have all reached marriageable age.

(emailed)

###

Stealing glances from the corner...

The Break-Up





Contrary to what people say, I kind of like the ending. Not those happily-ever-after kind. Good. Because in reality, nothing is hunky-dory. I didnt find this show funny. What I found was that it was real. Painfully real. Good one.

Anyway...concussed all the way back from Tampines and made my way home groggily in the dark. Came home, read the papers and fell asleep...until I was awakened by a series of sms-es from someone I knew back in my bookie days.

SMS: Hi Ed. Howz tings?
Ed: Hey there! Tired w work and all. How are u?
SMS: I'm stil kickin'n aLive :>free 2 taLk? Izzit fine 4 U 2 kol me?
Ed: Am going to bed actually. Can i call u tmrw instead?
SMS: O.k. Sori. Then shaLL we meet up n hav coffee on tis Thursday after werk ardn 6pm?
Ed: Aiyah am booked that nite cause my good friend is having her wedding malam berinai. Tell u what..we meet next wk?
SMS: I'm fine wif nxt wk. So make a date n then maybe we catch a nice movie of yur choice. We go dutch. Wat say U? U set the date, time n pLace. Can?
Ed: Ok can. Update u again next wk.
SMS: K great. Gd rez then.

Actually..erm..I am having doubts about this.

I find it weird. Why do you want to talk to me for? Not a gf problem, I hope? Or heavens forbids, someone to listen to your latest ..ahem..conquest? And if you want to, why must I be the one to call you? Incoming free, right? Sheesh. And what is with declaring to "go dutch"? Haha..do I look like I am going to sponge off you?

Real weird people. Seems like I have "AGONY AUNT" plastered on my forehead. Not that I dont empathise, but sometimes, some people really have weird, ridiculous problems.

Oh well.

It's Wednesday...and that means..HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY, DA-JIE!

May your life be filled with positivity and lots of sunshine. May your zest for life stay strong and may God keep you under his watchful eye, away from the harshness and the corrupted. Stay youthful and child-like. Many best wishes to you and may you have a wonderful day tomorrow. Thanks for being such a wonderful big-sister-like figure to me...taking care of me and all. Thanks for keeping me safe and well-fed. See you later.

A thousand times goodnight, leprachauns.

###