Woman with a badge came knocking...

Christiano Ronaldo now? Who else? What else?

Footballers are extravagantly paid. Too much for their own damn good. And things easily get into their heads...Getting heads' easy, too.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Last night, I came home to a sombre house. I think the father didn’t really want to talk to me. I deserved that because I did a terrible thing on Tuesday morning and I’m really apologetic for it.

Anyway, it was 1945hrs and I hadn’t broken my fast proper. Unless you regard gorging a fishball at the bus stop as dinner. However, when I stepped into the house, the mother said,

“I didn’t cook today. No food. Eat whatever you can find.”

Man…I hate that. The mother was busy making oat cookies and pineapple tarts the whole day. So out of spite, I took the whole big tray of freshly-made cookies, sat in the living room and chomped on them.

“Oi, those are for Hari Raya!”
“Nothing to eat, what. I find these, I eat, lah!”

The mother gave up. I felt guilty. Actually, I didn’t really like it. So I went back to the kitchen and took the jar of pineapple tarts…which were also meant for Hari Raya. The mother had given up and ignored me totally. I didn’t eat the whole jar of tarts lah…just a significant few. Then the mother sent me down to buy Maggi mee, knowing that’s the only instant noodle I would rather eat. Actually, there were many Indomee bee hoon packs in the fridge. No one ate them because they tasted disgusting. The mother’s fault. Who asked her to buy 1 bloody carton of it?


Other noodles may come and go…but you’re my one true love.

So I cooked my Maggi mee…watched Amazing Race (the irritating Schroeders are out. Yaye!), some malay show on TV3…and eventually fell asleep at 2300hrs…unwashed.

Fasting month sees me sleeping really early, man. My brain goes auto shut down mode at 2300hrs. I’m lucky to have made it to my room last night.


Anyway, I cant help doing this. Heh.


Your relationship will be a case of opposites
attracting. You are sensitive, but your
partner will be emotional- in a very fiery
way. You will help to balance out his
bluntness. You will need to take time to listen
and understand each other. Be careful not to
be too possesive over him!

What Kind of Love Will You Have? (girls)
brought to you by Quizilla


An emo/fiery partner? Wrong, lah. I need a very calm, independent nerd, okay!

Didn’t join the NPCC kias last night. They were celebrating Ash’s birthday..and Din’s belated and Yiling’s pending birthdays. Main reason why I didn’t want to go, apart from being broke and tired from work, was that I didn’t want to hang around people I did not know. This group has gotten too big for comfort and I am having a hard time trying to keep up because ..i don’t know..maybe it’s just me…I cant really connect with the new people and the old guards…well they are too far ahead with their lives for me to play catch-up. Sad, but true.

I told Firman..err..Fifi that I couldn’t make it. He said it’s okay and he would organise another get-together and go Geylang or something. He never stopped roping me along and I really appreciate him for that. So much so that I dreamt of him last night…


But man, that’s another weird story.


Havent done a full-blown blog for a while. So I’ll continue.


Something happened on Tuesday night that made me do it. I picked up the phone and did it. I figured, you did your move 18 days ago and I didn’t do your effort much justice. So it was my turn on Tuesday night.

Me: Hey. Hope u are doing fine. How’s ur wedding stuff?
You: Im fine, glad 2 hear frm u. Wish u could b wif me 4 e preparatn though…
M: How’s it going anyway?
Y: Its okay…Took photo already
M: Ah that’s nice
Y: How r u, been a long time
M: Been stressed at work…Hah what’s new
Y: Dah dpt keja baru? (Have you gotten a new job?) U lookin 4 1 rite
M: Obviously haven’t found. Been rejected countlessly.
Y: Ah, understand yr frustratn
M: Yeah man…
Y: Erm, u wan to help me wif my wedg?
M; Doing…?
Y: Gubahan (Floral arrangement), b my bridesmaid, decorate…Etc, b part of preparatn
M: I cant do much…try my best
Y: Okay, which 1 can u help?
M: Anything except gubahan I guess
Y: Ah that’s where I need help most. Am clueless at decoratg. I got the dulang wif alas (decorative trays) @ $20 already.
M: I don’t know that lah
Y: Takpe la, then u help wat u can.


I think I am a failure. For someone who initiated the conversation, I didn’t really continue it well. I don’t know..i don’t know.

So what now? Whose move is next? Is it still mine? It has to be you, Mona. She is having a wedding and has no time playing your stupid fucked-up mind game.

No no no…it’s not like that. Take a pillow and suffocate inner voice. It has reached a level of awkwardness. The impact of what happened is still here *points to heart* and in a way, I haven’t let that go. Why aren’t you letting it go, woman?

Huh. Inner voice is still alive.

Yeah I need to let it go. I must get the fact that it’s going to happen and as a friend, I must be happy for you too. I’m sure you still want me to be there.

One problem…when we ever meet again, what’s it going to be like?

Will we cry? Will we hug? Will he be there standing behind you? Will I get cold feet and hide behind a pillar? Will it still be too hard for me to take?

Dammit. I’m much stronger than this.


You say we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said "I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it"
And I said "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

I see you, the only one who knew me
But now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now?
It's plain to see we're over
I hate when things are over
When so much is left undone

And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said "I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it"
And I said "Well, that's the one thing we've got." - Breakfast At Tiffany’s, Deep Blue Something

Dammit dammit.

###

Forgotten men...

In my list of men..or honour roll...i forgot two yummies.

 

- Zach Braff (of Scrubs)

- Shan Wee (P10 late night presenter)

 

(emailed)

 

###

Thank you for being a friend

Hah! In your face, the mother!

 

Just did a google on Bea Arthur...the one who played Dorothy on Golden Girls. Few weeks (or months) ago, the mother said Bea Arthur was a man. I wondered who told her that!  I argued and said "No, she's a pure woman!"

 

So, HAH!

 

I told you so.

 

(emailed)

 

###

And when we die and float away...into the night, the milky way

HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY, MAIL!!!!!

May Allah bless you with the best of health and may you live a fruitful life with your loved ones. Happy 25th birthday and all the best wishes!

yeah yeah.

Anyway

Meiling gave Lauren and I tickets to catch Flightplan last night. I think it's awrite, although i expected it to be goddamn bad (no thanks to a certain weewee). There were loopholes and defects in the storyline but hey, if you want perfection, write your own screenplay. Although i dont think this movie can brag about cinematography, sound effects or costume (not much of that on board a plane right?), it does give that Hitchcock-ian "Huh?" appeal. My disappointment? Lack of dialogue for Erika Christensen. Pity.

Oh well.

Got to go back to more proof reading. Important week this is. Quite obvious, right? My blog entries are quite tepid and err..terse. Oh well, maybe later.

We passed upon the stair
We spoke of was and when,
Although I wasn't there
He said I was his friend
Which came as some surprise
I spoke into his eyes
"I thought you died alone 
A long long time ago."

"Oh no, not me
I never lost control
You're face to face
with the man who sold the world."

I laughed and shook his hand
And made my way back home
I searched for form and land,
For years and years I roamed
I gazed a gazely stare
At all the millions here:
"We must have died alone
A long long time ago."

"Who knows? Not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With the man who sold the world."  - The Man Who Sold The World, David Bowie

(Emailed)

###

Say what?

What?

 

No editorial meeting tomorrow?

 

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

 

(suddenly the jewish song Hava Nagilah comes to mind)

 

Happy Happy Birthday's eve Mail...

 

(emailed)

 

###

Tell me something new...

"Any chance it can go for film by this week?"
"I'll try."
"Try to push for Express first...because it has a higher population."
"I'm getting the proofs back tomorrow..we'll have to see how."
"If we cant film this week, then the books cant come out in early November."
"Tell me something new, can?"


I settled my photo problems earlier this season. I tried everything I could and in fact, i think i did better this season. So why cant the books be out on time?

Why are you asking only me...when you jolly well know that there are many other people/culprits involved in this crime? Oh, i forgot. This is MY project. Everyone can mess up my project because they are not the one responsible for the mess.

I am really fed up. Do you know how fed up I am? I am so frustrated and angry that sometimes i can taste blood in my mouth. It's making me sick.

And mentioning sick...

I've been falling sick quite often this year (it all started with the pox). How sick? Sick enough to exceed the IFlex outpatient claim by $1.

Even if I cut short this blog rant, there's no use. I have done all my work and i have all the time in the world to jot this. Why do I have to suffer for the ineffieciency of others?

Dont give me the "because we are a team" crap. Show me your pay slip then we'll talk "team".


STUPID COMPANY.

(emailed)

###

Big trip...right

The OC (officer in-charge, lah) wanted us to plan a trip. Initially we were supposed to go Taman Negara this month. But it was thwarted because of the rainy season. Then she suggested a MacRitchie or a Bukit Timah hike...without taking into account that the Muslim kids (about 80% of the population) would be fasting. In fact, she even told them "Your Mona ma'am is going, you should too!" Neh lah...you want me to hike during fasting month? Obviously she hasnt taken that trek. Crazy!

Anyway...

Since i refused to go to MacRitchie/Bukit Timah for a hike, the rest of the instructors didnt want to go too. If i didnt go, the Malay kids wouldnt go. If the Malay kids all didnt turn up, then basically, there would be no one else. Then what? Instructors' social hiking session? Right.

So...

I suggested we go to 2 other places...more "relaxing" for everyone. Will be bringing the kids, fellow instructors and the OC to Labrador Park to see the war bunkers/casemate/tunnel and cannons and then proceed to the splendid Bukit Chandu aka Opium Hill museum, to "relive" those POW moments. It shouldnt be tiring, i hope.


Heh. As you can tell, I'm a war-freak. By that, I mean, I'm a person who is into war stories, war histories, war movies, war memorabilia, blietzkrig, kamikaze, tora tora tora, hamburger hill.NAM...war war war!

Okay shut up.

(emailed)

###

Stealing beauty...

On second thought...

I cant come up with a concrete list. But i do have a standard "honour roll":

- brad pitt (standard lah..this one)
- jake gyllenhaal
- john mayer
- heath ledger
- robbie williams
- MTV VJ Quddus
- damon albarn
- justin timberlake
- kaka
- gael garcia bernal
- pharrell williams

There are more....
jasonmrazvincechongewanmcgregorglennongadirahman
khairudinsaharomwaderobsonusherraymondpabloaimaretcetc

(emailed)

###

My men

The stupid SAP password is locked for the 3rd time today and therefore i cannot key-in my time.

Hmm..

That left with nothing to do..except proofreading workbook

So...

Let me come up with an inane thing...as to make a list of Mona's favourite men.

Watch this space. Muakakakakakaka.
*cough*

(emailed)

###

For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me...

Stone me why can't you see
You're a no one nowhere washed up baby
Who'd look better dead
Your tongue is far too long
I don't like the way it sucks and
Slurs upon my every word

Don't waste your words I don't need
Anything from you
I don't care where you've been or
What you plan to do

I am the resurrection and I am the life
I couldn't ever bring myself
To hate you as I'd
Like - I Am The Resurrection, Stone Roses

Oh before i forget:
CONGRATULATIONS CLARA!! Hope Morgan Stanley will bring you greater happiness and success!


A bell is not a bell
Until someone rings it,
A song is not a song
Until someone sings it.

Love wasn't put
In the heart to stay,
For love isn't love
'Til you give it away.

what love quote best suits you
brought to you by Quizilla

So many useless things happened over the weekend…I don’t know where to start

Friday got me home, perplexed and vexed. Was still thinking about the entry, finding loophole/weak point/etc as I broke my fast proper @ 1945hrs. I even messaged Lauren that come January, I would take care of my birthday business myself so that no one would be obligated/pressured.

But as the night passed on, I had cooled down and with anger subsiding, it’s much easier to think. So I messaged Ismail (wanted to call but thought he could be praying terawih) and apologised for the harsh crap. It turned out he did a “public apology” too. Anyway, glad things were settled (at least that’s what I like to believe)…and I could watch Survivor in peace. Survivor? Yeah, finally!


I am rooting for Brandon, the farmer…because I have a strange obsession with the country life. And erm..Bobby Jon is smart..and cute. (I just added “smart” to make him more credible)


After Survivor…Hah, I fell asleep, unwashed. Happening Friday, indeed.


I had big plans on Saturday – hip hop class, Moto X, yada yada…but I ended up being rudely jolted from my slumber by the father, the mother and the brother, who were cleaning the store room. I was roped in…transporting “waste” material to the “dumping ground” at the 11th storey in my wild hair and ultra dirty state. It was 1500hrs and I was still unwashed..from the day before!!

But from the cleaning, I found my new NPCC uniform, old primary school photos (the horror) and old books from poly years..oh, and my 2 ACS soft toys.


Heh. ACS…

Finally showered 30 minutes before break fast time, read papers and rested. At 2000hrs, I got ready and dashed out of the house and onto the roads. I was dressed all black (actually shouldn’t because it’s hard for vehicles to see you. Oh well!), had my cap on and my headphones. Didn’t want the kaypoh aunties and uncles of the neighbourhood to recognise and stop me. I went jogging around the neighbourhood and well, it was cool and urgh, tough. So many slopes around my area. Jogged along the busy traffic…regretting not going gym instead as I inhaled engine fume.


Bah..managed a 45-minute session..went home and did yoga, showered and yeah yeah..FOOTBALL.

My closet favourite (actually not closet anymore, right) Wigan defeated the Magpies. It was hard to believe at first…but I found out that it was simply not Newcastle’s day despite playing well. But I was very happy for bloody Wigan…they have been over-achieving, man.

But of course my best moment of the night came when Rooney broke the deadlock just minutes before the half time for Man U. Initially I thought the match was going to end up a disaster because Scholes seemed in a daze, Ronaldo was frustrated and Nistelrooy ineffective. But Rooney managed to salvage the 1st half, Bardsley was doing well…and ah, it all fell to places later. And hello, Rossi! Hello Pique!


Rooney is congratulated by Cristiano Ronaldo. (JonBuckle/Empics)


Downside: Bolton's premature joy didn’t last long, dammit! 5-1??? What the…


Sunday was one of the loveliest days. It rained the whole day. I continued cleaning up my room..then a quick shower before settling my ass in front of the TV watching *gasp* THE MAMBO KINGS! Ahhh, I love that show. Couldn’t believe HBO was showing it.


I want the soundtrack…but I’ve been searching for 5 years to no avail.

Broke fast…and continued to clean up my room again…and at 2100hrs, rushed to the TV again..and this time..it’s time for COLD MOUNTAIN.


I am not a big fan of Nic Kidman and Jude Law…but I love this show. And the soundtrack…is EXCELLENT. But then again…I am a big country and bluegrass fan. Must remind self to get the soundtrack myself. Either the soundtrack or a trip to the Cold Mountain.

“If you’re fighting, stop fighting.
If you’re marching, stop marching.”

..sigh..


The cleaner Auntie picked up the hand cream that I had dumped in the bin. She told Yvonn (in Mandarin) that I had thrown a still-full bottle away. Yvonne added perhaps it was already expired. Then the Auntie continued asking “What is it?” Then I interrupted her by saying “It’s for the hands. It’s very oily and has too strong cocoa butter smell.” The cleaner doubted my words and tried, lah! Then she went “EEEE!” Then she added in Mandarin to Yvonne, that I should have bought a small tube instead to try (it only came in one huge-ass size). Then I cut in again, saying in Mandarin,” Hen bie yi, mah!” My friendliness to the cleaner has stepped down a notch.


Anyway


The father had been complaining about his bad back the whole weekend. At one point on Saturday, he also reminded me to claim insurance should he die. Initially, it was ultra irritating to hear him groaning in pain…but as the groaning got frequent and louder, I got kind of scared…

With the Krauss’ sad tunes of Cold Mountain, I hit a wall.

Is the time nearing, God? Is it anywhere close?

Well I recall his parting words
Must I accept his fate
Or take myself far from this place
I thought I heard a black bell toll
A little bird did sing
Man has no choice
When he wants every thing

We'll rise above the scarlet tide
That trickles down through the mountain
And separates the widow from the bride

Man goes beyond his own decision
Gets caught in a mechanism
And swindlers who works like kings
And brokers who break everything
The dark of night was swiftly fading
Close to the dawn of day
Why would I want him just to lose him again

We'll rise above the scarlet tide
That trickles down through the mountain
And separates the widow from the bride - Scarlet Tide, Alison Krauss & Union Station

###

(Pot)Shots of my life

B2K - Bump Bump Bump
Beach Boys - Don’t Worry Baby
Billy Joel - For The Longest Time
Black Dog Bone - Khayalan
Bonnie Raitt - I Cant Make You Love Me
Brian McKnight - One Last Cry
Cake - I Will Survive
Coldplay -Yellow
Fall Out Boy - Sugar We’re Going Down
Guns N Roses - Don’t Cry
Joss Stone - Right To Be Wrong
Joss Stone - Spoiled
Joss Stone - You Had Me
Journey - Faithfully
Kanye West & Jamie Foxx - Goldigger
M Nasir - Keroncong Untuk Ana
Manic Street Preachers - Design For Life
Manic Street Preachers - The Girl Who Wanted To Be God
Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)
Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made For Walking
New Order – True Faith
Nirvana - About AGirl
Nirvana - All Apologies
Nirvana - Come As You Are
Nirvana - In Bloom
Nirvana - Lithium
Nirvana - Pennyroyal Tea
Nirvana - Polly
Nirvana - School
Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
Nirvana - Man Who Sold The World
Nirvana - Where Did You Sleep Last Night
Nirvana - You Know You’re Right
Outkast - Ghetto Music
Padi - Menanti Sebuah Jawapan
Radiohead - Karma Police
Radiohead - No Surprises
Radiohead - Paranoid Android
Reel Big Fish & Save Ferris - Come On Eileen
REM - Losing My Religion
Rihanna - Pon De Replay
Sean Paul - We’ll Be Burning
Sheila On 7 - Pemuja Rahsia
Snoop Dogg / J Timberlake./ Charlie Wilson - Signs
Snoop Dogg / Pharrell - Drop It Like It’s Hot
Stone Roses - I Am The Resurrection
Stone Roses - I Wanna Be Adored
Stone Roses - Made Of Stone
Stone Roses - Sally Cinnamon
Stone Roses - She Bangs The Drum
Stone Roses - Tell Me
Sublime - Santeria
Pussycat Dolls - Don’t Cha
The Specials – Gangster

That’s about it, huh? Stupid 256MB thingy.


Anyway…


Finally, the random pictures from our resident Botak..fine, CY.


These were taken so long ago…we had a dinner date with Ai Noi at Parkway Parade’s Siam Kitchen. Ai Noi looks more feminine now. Hmmm…the SNPians still look like mental patients.

Like here…


Urgh..double, triple, quad chin! Waiting for Dear to finish her work so that we could go for lunch. They eat, I watch.


I am not promoting the single, available, nubile, nymphomaniac (ok, I added that) Dear Tan…rather, to share the view of the war-ravaged office


Mona doing a very bad mime act


CY showing us the way into Daphne’s (confidential secretary) office.


Mona, sitting on MD’s chair, scolds CY for sneaking into the secretary’s room.

If you still doubt our mental state, does this picture say anything more?


More fruitful updates in the next entry, I guess.

###

Bring it up slow

Back to civilisation…and trying to ignore the growing problem.

Liah has confirmed a room at the Ritz on her birthday and Clara has already booked it using her Citibank perks.




This time round, we have to get into the pool. Okay, enough of birthdays. We haven’t even met up for Noreen’s birthday…and it’s already over. 5 people is hard enough..so imagine 7. Okay, stop it.



Aint got clever things to say. So if you’re looking for wisdom, try Google.

Went through major decision-making process last night and decided that I should rebond my unruly hair. Figured that my hair is still too short to be curled. And..erm..i’m too chicken to do it because permed hair will make my ageing face look even older.

Mentioning looking older…last night on the train to gym, Lauren and I noticed this freaky looking toddler (about 3 years old). He has the face of a 15 year old Indian boy, lah! I was very spooked because he reminded me of my favourite prata-boy.


No, the boy hasn’t gotten a moustache…yet.


Anyway…


The don just asked me about my books and I answered her earnestly…much to the dismay of Pak Wim, I guess. He said it would be better to lie. I cannot lah. If the don wants to scold me, let her scold me. I have run out of excuses to cover everyone’s ass. My ears are freaking numb already. I went MOE and the officers were “begging” subtly for me to understand their positions…and back in office, the don was screaming and forcing everyone to understand her (or the company’s) predicament. Then…who the fuck understand my plight?

MOE people said the mafia was too aggressive…the mafia said the MOEians were a bunch of lembap people. Both sides look at me and hoping for a freaking miracle. If I can do miracle, I will get everyone down on the 19th to celebrate a Moonie’s birthday, okay!

Uh huh.

Maran: Mona, your books all done?
Mona: (giving a glassy look) No..no..of course not.
Maran: Any books sent for filming?
Mona: (resigned tone) No..sadly…
Maran: Really? No film? Textbook? Workbook? Havent filmed?
Mona: No..no..no..
Maran: (gleefully) Heh then I am very happy!
Mona: Heeeeyeyeyey… how can you be happy?!
Maran: My books also haven’t sent to filming.

Times like this, the slaves seek comfort in the inefficiency of each other. Hah. That’s shitandpiss’ spirit.

No NPCC tomorrow so yeah..can sleep in. Urgh, no? Dammit…I have to start doing spring cleaning already. The brother initially wanted to paint the house…but hmmm, one week of Ramadan has passed and there’s still no Nippon sign. Therefore I figure, the house will be in the same shade again this year.

Last night, the mother passed me a paper bag containing 2 sets of baju kurungs. I tried them on like an excited child. They are simple dresses…not stunning or whatsoever, but they will do. So..yeah..no need to buy Hari Raya clothes. No need to pay also because apparently the mother was the one who made them.

So for Hari Raya, I’m basically covered. Got my clothes and my shoes (last year’s but wore only once!). Right now, I’m growing another headache in trying to come up with a Hari Raya Financial Plan. It sucks to be an adult during Hari Raya, right? Haha!

I need to give extra dough to the father to help with the drinks and other miscellaneous Hari Raya items. Oh yeah..and the fitrah tithe, too! I need to give the mother extra also…for her inane flower decorations, the kuihs, cakes and other goodies. I need to contribute to the sister also…or maybe buy her shoes or bag or a proper hair cut. I thank God the brother is working and earning well. I cant imagine chipping in for his cause too. Pengsan!

Then I have to set aside extra transport money. Of course not forgetting the (haha) heart-attack inducing money to the relatives. My heart is telling me to sedekah money to my old aunties and uncles…especially Wak Long and Wak Japar who treat me like their own child. Then there’s Wak Ijah who helped me get through Uni…then there’s Queen Elizabeth (the grandma, lah!) and Nek Ngaji (the father’s godmother). Pengsan, pengsan! Then there are the pesky tykes…countless countless countless of them.

Urgh…this is scary. I don’t earn thousands. Little things have got to go this time…like buying Hari Raya cards and sending them to friends, buying/making my favourite goodies. Wahlao…I think post-Hari Raya depression is looming. Uh huh..the Great Depression.


Oh my Mission NY’06!


Well well…

Am contemplating if I should go gym tomorrow. If I go gym, then I don’t think I want to go see Motor Cross at Marina Promenade.


Ting said it’s going to start at 2000hrs. Wait… There’s EPL at 2200hrs (against Sunderland)! Wigan’s playing tomorrow also. But, how often can you get to see Motor Cross, Mona???

Man.

A Paradox
The fear to manage
The flair to edit

The heart to mentor
The fear to mislead

The mind of vision
The eye for details

The gear to go up
The fear to fall down

The urge to leave
The fear to lose

The need to upgrade
The dread to update

The desire to be sceptical
The disfavor to be cynicalb

The search of authors
The dearth of editors

The hope to be credited
The fear to be discredited

The support for integrity
The struggle for profitability

The desire to be successful
The guilt to be untruthful

The urge to speak up
The fear to be shut up

The need to edit
The misdeed to exit

The gain of a promotion
The pain of an alienation

The love to write
The loss to edit

The fury for transparency
The apathy for dishonesty


Hah! Trust KC to come up with this when he should be working.

But, he hits bull’s eye. This is the trauma I am facing at work. We’re in it all the same. No one to exchange shit with.

###

You can tell me

That was harsh.

But that's what i felt.

Aint got nothing to lose...

 

Except friends.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Your rambling, my turn.

Lil Miss Freckles: kwa kwa kwa.. says:
yup, certainly.. catfight..
Lil Miss Freckles: kwa kwa kwa.. says:
meow..
You cheesed me off, dude says:
oh no..it's the dog pound boy

…

Yup that took the freaking cake (and you can eat it too after breaking fast). Here we are, planning what to buy for your present(s), Lauren and Sha trying to get everyone and mulling over freaking dates, and BAM, there it goes.

Just one simple reason why we are not thinking of the actual day. On 2nd childish thought, I have many other reasons.

- because we expect you to celebrate your big day with your family
- because it’s a freaking weekday and most of us can only meet at 8 and be back home by 10+
- because some (fine, me) are dead broke…too broke for even freaking bus fare
- because work apparently takes half of some of our lives
- because we have no one to switch/manipulate dates/shifts/boss with
- because we are condemned, useless bad friends who cannot organise and suffering from acute low self-esteem
- because we feel pressurised in pulling this off thinking you may have a high “expectation”
- because we will be busy watching freaking Amazing Race on Wednesday

And as for people (I'm guilty, too) pulling out, what can we do if we cannot make it? Wait for me for I’ll come at midnight? God!

No wonder.
No wonder.
No wonder.

Okay.
Done.

My, what pleasant readings we’ve got this Friday afternoon. Guys, just one more birthday…and then we’re all through.

She goes one corner and pseudo-smoke now.

###

Sedapnya mee mamee ku

9th day of Ramadan..1st time eat instant noods.

 

Tom yam flavoured instanmatic has never tasted so good.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Oye! Part Deux

STOP BEGGING FOR SYMPATHY, LAH!

Photos lost then we must share the fucking blame, right?

How long have you been working here? Long enough to know, right?

(emailed)

###

Oye!

Stop bugging me about the stupid photos!

It's not my fault that they are lost..stuck in some crevices.

And you..gah..you're a freak.

(emailed)

###

So much for giving back to the society

You know how we always emphasise on the importance of proper spelling and stuff? Especially to kids?

 

Right.

 

Comes a stupid idiot in the form of an American toy maker who makes the word "jewelry" seems right.

 

Kiddo: But Mummy, it's written here J-E-W-E-L-R-Y!

Momo: No, Girl. It's J-E-W-E-L-L-E-R-Y.

Kiddo: You're wrong!

 

(emailed)

 

###

Feeling sexual, YG?

Hah..nothing sexual actually.

 

It's just funny listening to Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing and cracking my head over YG article at the same time.

 

I've been doing YG since morning...rather, since yesterday. It's like a cockroach that never dies.

 

Baby, I'm hot just like the oven

I need some loving...

 

What's that got to do with YG? Hahahah...

Okay, I'm going potty.

 

(emailed)

###

Vagued heart shaped box … but is that remotely possible?

I would…if you had let me finish.

Huh?

Exactly.

The 3 Lions beat the Poles 2-1 a few hours ago. Yeah…who needs Captain GoldenBalls now, right?

MikeEgerton/Empics
England's Ledley King and Poland's Radoslaw Sobolewski.

Crouch (or Crooge, hahahaha) was booed when he came aboard. Or rather, Sven’s plan was booed. Why mess a good formula? Was it Captain GoldenBall’s idea? How to win World Cup like that!




Hmmm
Actually, yeah, what was I thinking? *smacks head*

Jill initiated a dinner date with both Lauren and me tonight. But, we decided to cancel it off because Jill couldn’t confirm with me last night as she was afraid that she would have a job interview. Next time, man. A job interview is far more important. Besides, you stay so near…..

The mafia is on steroids. She has been moving around a lot and giving orders after orders. Mafia’s voice and movements are adding up to my freaking headache. Wait, I think my right brain just went numb.

My head is going to explode soon!
On another note, Susan wants to watch RENT with me. Yaye.



There’s a new self-pattern. I am getting to be a stickler for plans / schedules and timing. Maybe it’s just the fasting month…eat before this time..before that time.. And I am trying to spend more time at home because, haha, it’s nicer. Parents don’t snap/nag because it’s the fasting month.

Caught 50 First Dates on HBO again last night. So sweet it gave me headache…haha.



Hai…why do fools fall in love?

The mother thought it was a stupid show but I think she secretly loved it. Me? I love the soundtrack! Especially the last one during the credits. Never fails to let me cross over to that side of life. Hmm, vague moment there. And Drew Barrymore looks gorgeous in it. She always has, hasn’t she?

Will be hitting the gym tonight. Gonna have instant noods before I go because I don’t know what time I can reach town anyway. And today, am quite prepared. Brought 3 pieces of dates in my duffel bag…am quite eager to face the treadmill today. So feet, fail me not.


Awrite…gotta hit back to the daily drudge. I have to say a big THANK YOU to some readers (friends, lah) who offer advice and solutions to my misery. Yes, it’s mild depression because I did a case study on this topic before and so I know what the symptoms are. I think the mind is slowly developing a psychosis as it attempts to make sense of life.

I think having a numbing headache, perpetual sickness in the stomach, burning throat, blocked-yet-leaky nose are all self-induced. So I probably just need a placebo. I can choose to counter this crap…or I can just choose to let it take over my life…


The thing I did, you did it before. Tough.

I'm so happy
Cause today I've found my friends
They're in my head
I'm so ugly
But that's okay cause so are you
We've broken our mirrors
Sunday morning
Is everyday for all I care
And I'm not scared
Light my candles in a daze
Cause I've found God
Hey hey hey

I'm so lonely
But that's okay I shaved my head
And I'm not sad
And just maybe
I'm to blame for all I've heard
But I'm not sure
I'm so excited
I can't wait to meet you there
But I don't care
I'm so horny
But that's okay my will is good
Hey, hey, hey

I like it
I'm not gonna crack
I miss you
I'm not gonna crack
I love you
I'm not gonna crack
I kill you
I'm not gonna crack - Lithium, Nirvana

I miss Kurt.

###

Macam tak betul, kan?

Separuh nafas ku terbang
Bersama dirimu
Saat kau tinggalkanku
Salahkanku

Salahkah aku
Bila aku bukanlah
Seperti aku yang dahulu

Ada makna tergali dari sini
Dari pertikaian yang terjadi

Kau hancurkan diriku
Bila kau tinggalkan aku
Kau dewiku
Kembalilah padaku
Bawa separuh nafasku
Kau dewiku - Separuh Nafas, Dewa

 

(emailed)

 

###

State of unrest

Stupid colleague misplaced some photos and now wanting me to share the fucking blame. Go to hell, freak!


Kind of having a “stuck-in-a-rut” feeling. So, excuse me while I sporadically assess my fucking life and mess things up along the way.

Sailor, I didn’t mean to “sabo” you on your blog.


Anyway,


HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY, NOREEN WILLIE AZMAN!

May God bless you with lots of love, happiness and success. Hope it will be a pleasant one…although we cant join you in Dubai. We’ll catch up next week, perhaps. Happy birthday, dear friend.

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Uh huh.

Didn’t manage to catch Four Brothers last night. We’ve got the timing wrong. Didn’t even meet Sha. I broke fast at BK and then…was engulfed by a mild depression. Took a long bus ride home. Every thing felt so sucky.


Caught HOUSE when I reached home…very clever show.

Heck I even caught Stripperella on Arts Central…and I liked it.



Nani cant make it on the 23rd for the gathering. Unfortunately, I cant make it for the whole week days (17 – 21 Oct) so you guys just gather without me. Mail, I’ll meet up with you over the weekend or something, can?

Okay…

There’s nothing left to say, isn’t it?


Where do I take this pain of mine
I run, but it stays right my side
So tear me open, pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me, until it sleeps

Just like the curse, just like the stray
You feed it once, and now it stays
So tear me open, but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me, until I'm clean

It grips you, so hold me
It stains you, so hold me
It hates you, so hold me
It holds you, so hold me
Until it sleeps

So tell me why you've chosen me
Don't want your grip, don't want your greed
I'll tear me open, make you gone
No more can you hurt anyone
And the fear still shakes me
So hold me, until it sleeps - Until It Sleeps, Metallica

Honestly I think I am going crazy.

###

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

You're Blush. Quiet and shy, but smart and
colorful. You have a big imagination and you
often daydream. Hope will keep you grounded.


Which Item of Make Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm..shy.



Don’t we all need it?

By the way

DISCLAIMER:
Not all of my DTPs are placesd upstairs. I have kwai lan freelancers, too.


You are a Romantic ballerina!

What type of dancer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


The sister is now working at Toa Payoh’s Pizza Hut while waiting for her N Level results. She started on Saturday and it was a big thing in the family. You see…the sister is a pampered kid who doesn’t need to do anything. Actually, it’s more of being stubborn. She came home close to 0230hrs on Sat (Sun morning) and my parents were very anxious.

When the sister came home, everyone clamoured (including me) around her asking her about her work, how she broke fast and all that crap. It was quite hilarious. She had never come home so late but it’s funny to see the father not being able to scold her because it was work.

Anyway…the sister may be 17 BUT she’s still a bloody kid. So what if 15-year-old Sophie Willocq is a model? She’s still a kid! Maybe we all don’t want her to grow up. Lately I notice the mother has a certain air of melancholia …I guess it’s because the sister is not around. Yesterday, I think there was only the father at home breaking fast with her. Haiyah…this kind of thing..can be a bit sad, you know.


I guess that’s why you always read about me wanting to go back and break fast. Ramadan does bring a certain tone to the house.

Anyway…the irony of it all….

I am gonna catch Four Brothers with Sahriah later (she has a couple of free tickets). HOWEVER, tomorrow…I shall break fast (or at least go straight home) with the mother.


I amaze myself sometimes.


I would never bother you
I would never promise to
I will never follow you
I will never bother you
Never speak a word again
I will crawl away for good

I will move away from here
You won't be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it would come to this
Things have never been so swell
And I have never felt so well You know you're right

I'm so warm and calm inside
I no longer have to hide
Let's talk about someone else
Steaming, soup begins to melt
Nothin' really bothers her
She just wants to love herself

I will move away from here
You won't be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it'll come to this
Things have never been so swell
And I have never felt so well
Pain...
You know you're right
You know your rights
Pain… - You Know You’re Right, Nirvana

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