I'm a legal alien...

Hmm..it’s not so bad today. I only ate 2 small pieces of swiss rolls at 1130hrs. Maybe next Monday, I can endure until 1230hrs. Once when it becomes easy-peasy again, I can fast and pay back last year’s debt…all 5-6 days of it.

Come fasting month in October…bring it on!


Don’t know why but I really feel like going Phuture today. I guess it’s because come next week (or when the god damn menses ends), I want to start on my payback fasting mission. Okay crap..i don’t see why I cant go clubbing. But aiyah…I try not to go in August because I should save money for the KL trip. So maybe…tonight the last until KL? Right.

Hah…we see how it goes.
Clara says she can join Liah and me after her work. Lauren asked me why didn’t I ask my colleagues…well, I really don’t think Phuture/Zouk is up their alley. They (especially B) will say that the crowd is too young and rowdy for them. But..but..i like rowdy, non-techno/retro crowd. At least they wont go “Oh oh oh oh oh square room.”


Anyway…


On my way back from the “laborious” gym session last night I did some thinking. Somehow I only “think” when I am tired and on my way home. I plan to go to New York in April-May next year. HOWEVER, to have the trip confirmed, I need to stay with this Shit N Pee company until then. Either that, I need to get out of this company within a couple of months so that I can at least have leave days to go on holiday next year.



If by December I am *gasp* still in Shit N Pee, I guess, I will have to stay till April…then go NY, then start a new job.


I cant believe I am building my whole career around my holiday plans. This is so fucked up.


THINGS THAT CAN THWART MONA’S NEW YORK PLAN

1. Kena sacked from work before getting the phreaking bonus
2. No bonus
3. Kena accident and become paralyse
4. Savings all got burnt in shares and investments
5. Misfortune in family
6. 100 friends having all their birthdays between January and April
7. 100 friends deciding to have their weddings between January and April
8. Friends/ relatives in need of money to get out of jail
9. Friends/relatives in need of money to pay huge amount of bills
10 My own death between January and April


Of all things, points #6 and 7 are most unlikely to happen. I don’t have 100 friends.

Gaaaaaaah.

I don't drink coffee I take Tiger my dear
I like my toast done with some kaya
And you can hear it in my accent when I talk
I'm a Singaporean in New York

See me walking down Fifth Avenue
A handphone and passport here at my side
I take it everywhere I walk
I'm a Singaporean in New York

I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm a Singaporean in New York
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Singaporean in New York

If "manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile (eh kwa si mi!)
Be yourself no matter what they say

I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien
I'm a Singaporean in New York
I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien
I'm a Singaporean in New York

Swakoo-ism, kiasu-ism can lead to notoriety
You could end up as the only one
Kiasee-ism, kiaboh-ism are rare in this society
At night a candle's brighter than the sun (oi cheem ah!)

Takes more than National Service to make a man
Takes more than license for a car
Confront your enemies, stare at them when you can
Show them you’ve got lam pah

If "manners maketh man" as someone said (si mi lan jiao?)
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say

I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien
I'm a Singaporean in New York
I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien
I'm a Singaporean in New York - Singaporean in New York, Stink

Wah lao!
What have I done? I think it’s all Rockson’s fault.

I’m so sorry Sting.

###

Boogie woogie doogie doogie

OIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…



I am so fucking bored! And hungry! I’ve got nothing much to do in the office…all my book resources are lurking somewhere beyond Ubi Avenue 4. I am just sitting here freezing my tits off. Maybe at 1700hrs, they will just snap off.

Walao eh…I am going to roll on the floor in boredom anytime soon. Need to find something to do.

(Think hard for something to do)

That’s it.
I’m going to read my magazine, then read a bit of Mein Kampf and then read the Animal Grossology book.


(Look at the watch)


It’s not even 1600hrs!

Nabei.

P/S: Pak Wim fell asleep on his desk just now for a good 10 minutes. I got IT and Xuewei to look at him. Then we laughed. IT pretended to hug him from behind...Then I sabo-ed her by caughing loudly so as to wake Pak Wim up.

Yes.
I am THAT bo liao.

...and hungry...

###

Booooooooored

The Boss’ daughter gave me a parting gift…awwww..so sweet.wanted to get her something tonight but she said she’s not coming tomorrow. Guess I have to pass it to the mother. What if the mother mistook it as a present for her, how? Ok..that’s weird. Xuanxuan..we meet up for coffee lah ok? Wait..I can see you on Monday..at the premiere of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.



Ah, these chocolates are so kinky.
And I am so bored.

###

Yuo've been hit by..you've been struck by..a lullabye.

Alamak… I am such a failure. Told myself that I should start prepping up for fasting month (and besides, I am feeling bloated no thanks to menses) and decided that I should starve the morning away … eat something only at lunch. But come 1000hrs, I was quite hungry (and a bit conscious of the baddie breath) and I ate my apple muesli bar. But you know how greed works, right? I had another one after that. Now my food stash is left with 2 packets of instant chicken soup.

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Tiok, ah!

Sha commented that my strokes (badminton strokes lah) were getting worse. What do I think? I thought it was exceptionally bad in the 1st set …[Excuses] just ate dinner, haven’t warmed up, badminton racquet too light. Ok ok I sucked. But after that, I thought I did pretty well…Ah, that’s what I thought, lah.

On my way back, I kept playing imaginary smashes in my head..how to improve. Occasionally I broke out into a bit of gestures and spasms. Lucky no one was around me. Anyway I conclude that a non-serious game 1 hour in a week is not going to change the world. I guess I have the answer. I have to improve my fitness and stamina. How? Bloody fucking gym.

Tonight…I’m gonna run until the cows come home. And the cows better come home in 20 minutes.

Anyway, Sha took these with Jason's super kao camera last night. Yeah, I’ve got the golden ticket! I’m Charlie? No…sadly, I’m more Veruca.


Hehehehehhe.

Willy Wonka
Willy Wonka…

Anyway…

I am very very tired..see bey tired. Very tempted to take leave tomorrow…clean up my room and wait for the new chest (as in..cupboard lah!) and the full-length mirror to come. I can get to watch my Princess Bride and Kill Bill 1 & 2 also. Otherwise, I aint got the time, baby.

Last night, while watching Rock Star INXS…

Old Man: Do you know who sing this?
Me: Oh please…it’s so easy. It’s The Kinks. This is Lola.
OM: Then Gimme Some Lovin?
M: (saw the answer briefly on tv) Ah, I know..it’s Spencer Davis Group!
OM: I used to have all these in cassettes back in the kampong.
M: Puh-leese! I have them NOW in CD!
OM: You have the Kinks CD? Where? In the room? Now?
M: Yeah lah. I have Kinks, Beatles, David Bowie, The Clast, Marmalade, Bay City Rollers, Humble Pie and all those 60s and 70s crap. Got them when I was working at Rediffusion, what.
OM: Really ah?
M: Yeah..I have 40s and 50s music also. Frank Sinatra, The Searchers..country music. Don’t know what to do with them.

[a scheming plan came to mind]

M: (deliberate) Hmmmmm…aiyah all these take up a lot of space. Maybe I should just throw them all away.
OM: Don’t throw!
M: Too many already..some more radio inside cannot play CD.
OM: I will get one soon..

Ah, the power of music! Gonna get a new radio/player soon.

I’m such a smooth criminal.

Hee hee! Aw!

###

Senility is hereditary...

You are Blue Sheep, who has a gentle and soft atmosphere.
You give favorable impression to many people.
You have inner strength, and give an impression of very intelligent person.
You are not cautious to opposite sex.

Although you don't push your point, you are very sociable and modest.
You also tend to be calm and will not yield in so easily.
You have strength not to show others your weakness.

You can objectively assess the other person's movement, and can
tactfully make the situation favorable to you.
You can use this skill to help men be successful in life.
You can display your skill in drawing up a rational plan, but sometimes
you take on things without much thought and regret it afterwards.
You should be careful about this.

You put great priority on economic side of everything.
You show interest in savings and can take good control of household budget.
Your stubbornness may affect your love. But once you get along well, your
relationship has a possibility of turning into heart-to-heart communication.

You are good at reading other people's mind and taking in charge of things.
You have weak point in maternal instinct.
After getting married, you tend to be over protected to your children, and
may become obsessed with your children's education.

Haa haa haa haa..


Ok crap aside.


We had a mini-meeting just now..us Mother Tongue Team. We were told to choose our seats because come September, we are all moving to the 4th floor. I chose Szesze’s seat, between Pak Wim and Maran. Beside me will be Yvonne (who will soon replace Xuewei), behind her is Poh Khim, and then IT, Liping and then Richard (Jill’s place). It’s going to be like a wet market definitely. I pity the designers and DTPs because the MT team is a noisy and merry lot. As for me, I have to invest in a better pair of headphones in case the noise gets too much.

Right.
Anyway…

I must be going senile. I survive a working day believing that it is Thursday and that tomorrow…will be the end of my working week. I sent an email to my MOE project leader at 0900hrs saying that I would come down tomorrow (intended Friday). I only realised my folly at 1800hrs as I was packing my badminton attire.

Eh, today’s Thursday…why did I bring my shorts? But if today’s Thursday, how come I didn’t play badminton yesterday? I went gym yesterday, right?

Then I turned around…

“Liping, what day is it today?”
“Oh..27th!”
(huh??) “ Err…what day? Is it Thursday?”
“It’s Wednesday.”

You know what’s the best? I have 3 calendars in front of me.

Saatnya ku berkata mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua kuyakin inilah waktunya
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Dan bila hatimu termenung bangun dari mimpi-mimpi mu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu cerita saat bersamaku
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari semua rasa yang kau beri - Mungkin Nanti, Peter Pan

Yeah..maybe one day.

O well.
Badminton later.
I am very tired but I have to keep on moving.

I like to move it, move it.

###

What if...?

Ok my reproductive system is VERY screwed up.
Something is wrong with my menses cycle.

What if I can never reproduce?

###

I just cant..I just cant control my feet

I think I am going to join this book club which meets once a month. I’ve been feeling so stupid and wu liao lately…I need to do something that requires brain and erm..stimulation. Work? Oh, my work is mindless.

Anyway, the next book session, the club is discussing Reading Lolita In Tehran by Azar Nafisi. I wonder if the book is out in the library. If I buy the book, what if I cant finish it in time? As it is, I am still struggling with Mein Kampf..and The Time Traveller’s Wife is still waiting for me on my bed. As for Ting’s Harry Potter…I really give up.

That’s why I am feeling very stupid. I used to read books fast and focused. Now, I just don’t find the strength…or time. Bloody fucking excuses…I can just go out less and don’t blog so much. Yeah, I know.

PEACEFULLY

You are a peaceful sleeper. You recognize that
sleep is a necessary part of life, and
understand that there is no way for you to
fully appreciate everything around you if you
dont give yourself a break once in a while.

You are a very calm and collected person who
seems to have all of their ducks in a row, so
to speak. You enjoy life without getting
over-enthusiastic and appreciate harmony in all
things.

How do you Sleep? (Anime Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Really weird. You know the deal between sleep and me, right? Going to sleep is like admitting defeat that the day is over. But..i did this quiz twice and it gave me the same answer on both occasions. I am damn bo liao…

Got stuck in a mind-numbing traffic jam along Paya Lebar all the way to Geylang/Aljunied last night. By the time I reached Orchard, it was already slightly past 2000hrs. Supposed to meet Nani at 1930hrs, go for dinner and then to yoga. Anyway, we were both very hungry so we went to eat yong tau hu at Cineleisure.


I didn’t go for yoga because I couldn’t make it in time. Almost decided to skip gym (we were just across the gym, mind you) to go to Mustafa Centre for some late shopping. Luckily we both managed to scrap that idea (we decided to save the money for JB this Sunday) …and reluctantly dragged our asses to the gym.

Burn baby burn…burn baby burn…Burn baby burn…


Yikes…I think I am slowly becoming Bridget.

..moan..

Anyway, I bought 2 CDs last night…Oasis and hahahaha..The Essential Michael Jackson. A bit peeved they don’t have I’ll Be There, Never Can Say Goodbye, Ain’t No Sunshine, One Day In Your Life and Happy in there. But oh well…it’s all good.

Quoting a Fred Nerk (from leoslyrics.com), MJ is as “mad as a fart in a bottle, but when he gets it right, boy does he get it right!” Spot on, Nerk.

One day in your life
You'll remember a place
Someone's touching your face
You'll come back and you'll look around you

One day in your life
You'll remember the love you found here
You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day...

One day in your life
When you find that you're always waiting
For the love we used to share
Just call my name
And I'll be there - One Day In Your Life, MJ

This hurts. Oooh this hurts real bad.

###

Helly Ruby Tuesday...

They put our photos on their website. These were taken at DBL O. Sucky music…great atmo.






Took a cab to work and the cabby was talking to me about race and religion. I was enlightening him about Moses and the Jews, Jesus and the Christians and Muhammad and the Muslims. I was also enlightening him about how ang mohs are not as souped up as Singaporeans think they are. Many of them are insensitive and clueless about things happening around them.


He asked me about my job and he assumed I could speak well. Then we talked about Singlish. I was championing Singlish and again (I must be some White-basher in my past life) I told the cabby about how unfair it was to condemn Singlish when the ang mohs have their French-accented English, Spanish, German, Italian accented crap. Heck..even if they are pure Britons, we couldn’t understand a hoot when they do cockney!

And then we started to rattle off all the Singlish terms we knew…kwa kwa kwa.

“Makan!”
“Jalan-jalan!”
“Jiak zua!”
“Makan angin!”
“Jiak Hong”
“Merry-go-round makan angin!”
“Mati! See Liao!”

…silence…

I shouldn’t have said that. Maybe the cabby was superstitious. I should have stopped while I was still “ahead”. Ah…what to do. It’s the brashness of youth.

Watched America’s Next Top Model last night…I have 3 favourites already.



Naima


Keenyah


Sarah

Fuck. I “accidentally” went to the official website…and now I know who’s the winner.


Anyway...

I stumbled upon Cik Amlah and her hubby, Cik Gani, at AMK Central last night. They still recognised me. I asked her about Irawan and she said he had gone back to Perth. I see..Then she said that Haikal was back and stuff. Cik Gani asked me where I was working and i told him I was in SNP. He was quite surprised because apparently he's the language consultant for the AKAR book (Mr Wim's project). Wahlao...it's a really damn small world.

I didnt chat long lah...after knowing him for so long (i first knew the family when i was 10!), Cik Gani is still someone who will make me so nervous. So I quickly cabut!

Yoga tonight, ya’ll.

###

It's not so bad...

Yup I expected the “backlash” after writing the previous entry. But I’m cool. I hope my friends weren’t offended or anything. I just wrote what I felt at that moment and I don’t lie to myself so..ok ok enough. I don’t have to explain. If any readers still offended, just get through to me or something.

I feel like xiaxue, spg and kennysia…having people commenting on what I wrote. Maybe I should post a picture of me doing the spg pose…just paste my head over spg’s body.

OH well..going home. Then after dinner/shower i am going shopping...at AMK Central.

###

The Miseducation of Hakulani Kai, the control freak

A new interest. We may hee-hee-haa-haa-ed. But I did listen.

My friends (or at least Mail and Sha) think that I am a control freak. I really don’t know what gives them that idea. When I want to get a grip on things, I’ve been called a control freak. When I don’t give a hoot, people say I’m jaded lah, bo chup lah, heartless bitch lah, no feelings lah, stone cold lah...

I really cant recall when or where was I being a control freak on them.

1. If I want to go watch a movie which no one wants to watch, I’ll watch it alone and I’ve never kicked a big fuss.

2. I have never dragged anyone shopping. In fact, I rather do it alone.

3. I have never depended on anyone to go travelling or do any activities.

4. In group work, I am more of the skiver than the leader.

A bit sad lah…my good friends say this about me. But oh well. I am really squeezing my brain as to think when and where had I become a control freak. A freak, maybe. A control freak?

Possible Control Freak Moment
- Back in poly when we were doing the fucked up newspaper project (the one with the Mac table drama which I fucking missed it)

- During badminton (but I didn’t think I was as bad as mail..)

- In planning activities / gatherings…for this, I have nothing to say. It’s damn hard to organise something and come up with something that everyone agrees with. But then again, at least I tried. Maybe I shouldn’t bother.

Now I’m being petty. Tsk tsk tsk. Knock head against the wall.

Aiyah. Fuck what other people say lah…friends or foe. You are, after all, your own person. Maybe I don’t take comments well…but that’s really my bad.

I am really in need of an escape. A sabbatical break. There is the KL trip in August. Wait, I did a proposed itinerary for the rest. Ooh, what a control freak! Then in December, the fellowship and the moonies wanted another holiday. Okay. I can only afford to go to one. If a situation where I have to choose occurs, I’ll have to go with those who suggested the holiday first. I am using emotional blackmail. Ooh, what a control freak! I should really sap my soul and give it a good wash.

Anyway...I think I can do a trip in January. CY, I need your advice.
Do you know the way to Kathmandu?

I’ve got another confession to make
I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break
Holdin’ you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn’t have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can’t choose
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It’s real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? - Best Of You, Foo Fighters

Au revoir, Lance Armstrong.

But a silver lining is looming…

Charity Shield is approaching and that means only 2 things -The English Premier League is returning and that my clubbing sessions will be reduced…or wiped out.
Then I will have sit in front of my telly and hold the remote control, being a control freak that I am.

###

Supa Dupa Mat Rock Weekend

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Hokulani Kai

What's your Hawaiian Name?

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ( a la Britney’s Oops I Did It Again)

I have always liked Britney and her inane songs. So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I finally got (okay, I borrowed from Ismail..that pop tart) Britney’s greatest hits cd. Right now, I’m bopping to her on a fucking Monday morning.

I’m a slaaaaaaaaaave for you...
I’m a slaaaaaaaaaave for you…


My weekend went so fast. I really cant recall what I did on Friday…hahah you have to understand, I have Britney singing in my headphones and I cant really think. Close eyes and think real hard. Ah…had dinner with Nani at Toa Payoh.

Saturday morning proved to be quite a bloody drag. I called Jie Shun..pretending to be sick so that I could skive of NPCC that morning. But bloody bugger said he was not coming to training, either. He also said that Jackson and Peishan couldn’t come, too. Bunch of @#$#%%! What’s the point of becoming instructors if you always cannot make it for #$^@%$ training?

Me? I’m different. I’m god-damn much too old for this. I have been doing this for 8 bloody years already!

Like it or not, I dragged myself out of bed at 0730hrs and grudgingly made my way to Yishun. Reached there around 0840…10 minutes late. Ah fuck it lah. I realised Mr Ng wasn’t there because his office had some emergency and he had to go back. Great. With meiling away in Hokkaido, I had to train the monkeys on my own.



Got a present for Hwee Chee…but man, I don’t know how to pass it to her. Oh well..I can always keep it. Oh yes, I can.

I forgot to watch the LOST marathon on Saturday afternoon. What was I doing? Close eyes and think real hard..trying to ignore Britney’s voice. Ohhh..i was watching black music MTVs!


At around 1800hrs, I met weiling and clara and we went to noreen’s place. Her dad had a heart attack last week so we decided to pay him a visit. Noreen wasn’t at home because she was in San Fran or something. Then Liah came along and we hung out at noreen’s kitchen..drinking coffee and gossiping about teenagers nowadays. We also chatted with the parents, the aunties, the grandma and the cousins. The mood was like Hari Raya!
Treated the fellowship to dinner at . It was the only thing to do considering I’ve always being treated by all of them so many times. We parted around 2130hrs and I raced home…almost spilling out dinner at the overhead bridge. Got home, showered and I was out of the house at about 2215hrs. Destination? Mohd Sultan…gaaah!

I’m not really fond of that stretch of wretched street. But aiyah…as long as one has good company…

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

.....

Went to DBL O again – Dear, Dawn, CY, Ally, B and I. It was retro still (DUH!) but I think the music selection was wider and I enjoyed it better than the previous time. Of course the fuckshit tunes by Bananarama and Rick Astley were still audible. But at least hearing New Order’s True Faith (and dancing like Christian Bale in American Psycho) and the 60s twist medley kind of compensated it.

Anyway...

Spent 4 hours there. Good. The Breeks dinner and whatever crap would have been burnt by then. B, D and D went back earlier…leaving CY, Ally and me at OBar. Hilarious! That place played Alex Toh’s Tuo Diao and it was hilarious to see Malays, Indians and the Ang Mohs dancing to it. The crowd was definitely more eclectic and so was the music…Go there again? I don’t know. I am not fond of that wretched stretch. Maybe it’s high time I pay Phuture a visit again.

Anyway…staggered back home, showered and catch a little TV. Finally fell asleep at 0530hrs.

Went to COURTS on Sunday noon…but man, the computers there sucked. Maybe I’ll just get a $400 CPU from Sim Lim or something..like CY. Or, I’ll check out Harvey Norman, Best, SAFE or wherever first. A bit disappointing. In the end, I bought a small cupboard/dressing table and a full length mirror.



Met the Melayooz Moonies at Apollo Centre and we had a gila-babi karaoke session singing Malay tunes. It was far-out, babe…and we all got to learn about one another’s “mat and minah” pasts.

Sang all the fucking hard core rock songs..and erm, the not so hard core ones (Siti Nurhaliza is definitely not hard core!). We were screaming into the mics, off the mics, into each other’s ears, headbangings…CRAZY!

Hung out at Boat Quay for dinner and to just “lepak”. Went to that coffee place with bean bags and found ourselves a nice corner. We stayed till 2300hrs, flat out on the huge bean bags, drinking milkshake and talked about old people having a torrid love affair, celebrities (we are MEDIA people after all), Nuradee and hahaha..everyone’s favourite topic – SEX.

Ooh last night sex talk sure was juicy! We like. *wink*


Of course! And you can definitely talk about it with me.

Okay…now I sound like a phone hooker. Call 1800-TALK DIRTY TO ME.

All right..All right.
Back to work..which is really a nabei chee bye kind of shit.
Xuewei has just tendered her resignation and her last day is on 20 Aug.
Again…why the fuck am I still here?
Ah, I’m still waiting for the right one and my coveted pot of gold.
Oh well.
Right now, I’m just looking forward to yoga tomorrow..badminton on Wednesday..gym on Thursday and who knows…Phuture on Friday?

I think I’m killing myself. But, I’m loving it.I have to keep on moving. I have to.

Now I done felt a lot of pain
I done seen a lot of things
From struggling and broken heart to fancy cars (oh yeah)
And even though my money change
I tried my best to stay the same
But you know with mo money
Mo problems came

If I had to do it all again
I wouldn't take away the rain
Cuz I know it made me who I am
If I had to do it all again
I've learn so much from my mistakes
That's how I know he is watching me

In ATL I caught a case
And the media tried to say
I had a habit
I couldn't manage and I am throwing my life away
But everything ain't what it seems just because it’s on TV
Cuz they speculate and exaggerate for a better story

If I had to do it all again
I wouldn't take away the rain
Cuz I know it made me who I am
If I had to do it all again
I've learn so much from my mistakes
That's how I know he is watching me

Nobody knows what life may bring
It might make you happy it might make you sad
Sometimes yeah but I know there's a reason for everything
That's why I keep believing
Whatever is meant to be its going to be - Again, Faith Evans

I don’t know why…I heard this song and it made me cry. Maybe I was just feeling down when I heard it. Kind of hit me that my life is not so shabby. I have to stop feeling so bad about everything.

You're a good man, oh Charlie Brown.

###

Hit 'em with a little ghetto gospel

As a child, I always dream for the day when material excess is available at my fingertips. Enough of “Ma, why cant we get this?”s and stuff like that. But it is a vicious cycle. However what I lack in materials, I am very sure I had made it up with something else.

There is nothing wrong with us living our lives like this.

So there, little child.
Here’s a kiss to dry your eyes.
Life is never about comfort. We just have it slightly harder.
But that’s all right.
We are fighters.
And when you grow up little child
You’ll be my number 1 warrior.
So cheer up my little champion.
The road to victory is long.
Here’s a kiss nonetheless.
Have a good journey to life.

...sigh...

Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
And the red sun sinks
At last into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sounds of guns

If I could recollect before my hood days
I’d sit and reminisce thinkin of bliss of the good days
I stop and stare at the younger; my heart goes to ‘em
AIDS tested, it was stress that they under
And nowadays things change
Everyone’s ashamed of the youth, cuz the truth look strange
And for me it’s reversed, we left them a world that’s cursed
And it hurts cuz any day they’ll push the button
And all commend, like Malcolm X and Bobby Hut died for nothin
Thought’ll make you get teary, the world looks dreary
When you wipe your eyes, see it clearly
There’s no need for you to fear me
If you take your time to hear me
Mmaybe you can learn to cheer me
It aint about black or white, cuz we’re human
I hope we see the light before it’s ruined
My Ghetto Gospel

Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
And the red sun sinks
At last into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sounds of guns

Tell me do you see that old lady, aint it sad?
Livin outta bags, but she’s glad for the little things she has
And over there there’s a lady
Crack got her crazy, yet she’s givin birth to a baby
I don’t trip or let it fade me
From outta the frying pan we jumpin to another form of slavery
Even now I get discouraged
Wonder if they take it all back, will I still keep the courage?
I refuse to be a role model
I say go, stay in control, drink out my own bottles
I made mistakes but learned from every one
And when it’s said and done
I bet this brother be a better one
If I upset you don’t stress
Never forget, that God hasn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thang
But am I less holy?
Cuz I chose to puff a blunt and drink a beer with my homies
Before we find world peace
We gotta find peace and end the war in the streets
My Ghetto Gospel

Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
And the red sun sinks
At last into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sounds of guns

Lord can you hear me speak?
They pay the price for being hell bound - Ghetto Gospel, 2Pac


I am not doing enough good and I’m ashamed of it.

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And i'm not even a pink fan!

If I read another composition about how scary a trip to the dentist is, I swear I’m gonna rip that essay to pieces. Damn! Kids today are supposed to be creative, innovative and technopreneurial. If you are in primary 1 or 2, it’s ok. But here I am sitting on my chair reading entries given by P4s to P6s about having a toothache, afraid of going to the dentist, finally having the bad tooth out and then vowing not to go to a dentist again.

Come on! I cant publish such articles. I don’t want the dentistry profession to suffer. BUT…if you HAVE to write about a trip to the dentist, can you guys end it positively?

And oh, enough of My-Most-Unfortunate-Day kind of essays, too. Yeah you woke up late, forgot your homework, forgot your pocket money, got a lashing from the teacher, caught in the rain, scolded by parents…Gaaaah! Boohoo, it’s too bad!

Geez Mona…you’re such a grinch.


Oh!

CY is taking her motorbike lessons soon. What amazed me is that she doesn’t know how to ride a bicycle. All along I thought one needs to ride a bicycle in order to know how to ride a bike. Since my riding skill is so sucky (I cant cycle well…I avoid rocky paths), I never dream of getting a bike license. But ah..who knows! If CY can get by, hey I can do it too!

And who knows, maybe by next year, both of us will have our very own Vespas…in baby pink and baby blue.



Hahaha..mine will be pink with a white furry seat

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Dakota's good but i prefer Stereophonics' Superman

Oh...

I think i may be buying a new computer tomorrow. Dont ask me where do i get the money, though. Some things just...be.

Am still thinking...should i get a laptop or a pc? I dont know.

What has the world coming to? I used to buy Chikadees..and then i started to buy clothes. Then i started to buy groceries and now i am actually buying a hardware. What's next? A house?

It's elementary, Watson. She's all grown up now.

If i'm so grown up, then why do i want Chikadees, still?

Watson...she doesnt want to grow up. Simple.

But..but..but..I'm a Toys"R"Us kid!

Watson..why are we in her head?

.
.
.
Laptop...or...PC?

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Feeling like dancing by the beach...

Waaaaaaaaaaah. I hate being steamrolled and crushed. Looking at my size, you may not think it is possible. But I’m nice. Why am I such a pushover? Really.

Your Hidden Talent

You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words. You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel. People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation. When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

A great communicator, my flaming ass.

You Should Learn Spanish

For you, learning a language is about career advancement and communication. Knowing Spanish will bring you tons of possiblities for jobs and travel. Bárbaro!

What Language Should You Learn?

Okay. Maybe I am a good communicator. I just don’t have good communicatee. No, yes?

I am physically tired. I stressed “physically” because I am usually more mentally tired. Gym..badminton..late nights..walking..walking..walking.. My legs and my brain are walking to god knows where. All I know, it’s a damn tiring thing. My sleep has been disturbed by skin irritation which only comes at 0430hrs and last for an hour. In the morning I will wake up with no signs of skin irritation but with a spinning headache due to lack of sleep. I can live on 3-4 hours of power sleep but man, it has to be undisturbed!


I’m not quite there yet. I have only 4 alarm clocks by my bedside.

Caught Fantastic Four with Nani, Dear and her friend (Kelvin? Kevin? He’s funny) at Eng Wah Suntec. Bloody show started on time so we missed about 5 minutes of it. But hah, wasn’t hard to follow after that.


Chicklis is funny…and Alba, she looks like Scarlet Johannsen in the beginning part.

I admit the show is entertaining and Torch is ..erm..hot. But the plot really ruffles me. I think they shouldn’t be called Fantastic Four (at least not the movie) and instead, be Freaky Four. The movie doesn’t really show them fighting baddies (ok except that metalhead) and instead they cause massive destruction. I’m sure public injury is incurred from their “fighting”. Awrite awrite…why do I even bother thinking about this. It’s from a bloody comic, for fuck’s sake.


Definitely better because it being in cartoon, I discount the no-logic.

Anyway…

I don’t know if I want to watch Sin City…but I definitely want to watch Crash. Anyone want to catch Crash? On Monday? Or maybe I can catch it tonight at Bishan…ah see how.

Since we were at Suntec last night, Nani and I went to Dorothy Perkins and Topshop to shop. At DP, she was commenting about all the sizes in the store were all too big. She is not the only one who says that. I’ve other girls (and guys) saying the same thing about DP. All of them sound bitter and crap like that. And every time, I will just smile and nod because I love DP and their sizes are great.

Why don’t these skinny people understand? If you want clothes your size, there are always Mango, Zara, French Connection, This Fashion, Giordano, Forever 21 around? Don’t forget GG5, U2, Dano, Iora…wait, make it the whole shopping mall? You don’t see fat people going in and making such a big fuss, do you? Sad to see fat people just resigned themselves to fate, not being able to wear what other humans wear. Then come the skinny people going to “fat” stores and complain. Fat people cant help saying , ”There’s justice after all!” And for that..hahahahaha, I love DP, Marks & Spencer and Topshop. Long live fat British women!


Oh yeah. Fat doesnt 100% equate to unhealthy and lazy. But even if fat people don’t exercise or diet, what is it to us anyway?

Awrite enough talking about fat. It’s killing my lunch. Hahah..the irony.

Anyway…

Can you hear it? Can you smell it? It’s the sweet music and smell of the weekend. Dear suggested Club Momo tomorrow night. You know what, I don’t care. This fat girl just want to daaaaaaaaace, baby!



We get it on most every night
When that ol' moon gets-a big and bright
It's a supernatural delight
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight

Everybody here is out of sight
They don't bark, and they don't bite
They keep things loose, they keep things light
Everybody was dancin' in the moonlight

Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's feelin' warm and right
It's such a fine and natural sight
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight

We like our fun and we never fight
You can't dance and stay uptight
It's a supernatural delight
Everybody was dancin' in the moonlight - Dancing In The Moonlight, Toploader

Well it was either this or Born Slippy (my favourite dance track..EVER) but gaah, Born Slippy is just too long.

Have a good one, people.

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Someday I'll Be Saturday Night

I just got a new Samsung MP3 player (it’s cheap lah) and I think I have screwed it up. Wahlao…I am damn useless, sia! I will just kill myself if it is spoilt.


It looks almost like this…it’s just that instead of black at some parts, it’s white.

Anyway, I got it at a steal because my brother’s good friend was the one who sold it. So don’t think that I’ve struck lottery or something, ya? :)

On the other hand…

I bought the Anna Sui powder and blusher! So pretty. I wanted to get (of all things) the hairbrush and the hand mirror, too. But ..eek..$32 for a hand mirror?


But aren’t they just too pretty?

Sigh…maybe I’ll get them for my own birthday. Hmmm, I can get the whole set and give Sharinah as a wedding present. Yeah..that will be nice.


So pretty it hurts.

Anyway,

Nani, guess what time did I finally make it to the gym? 10 bloody pm! By the time I reached the gym, I was practically dragging my feet but man, I have to do it lah. Pounded the treadmill and then rowing and then do the ski-like machine thingy…total? Slightly less than 60 minutes. Tired as hell. And at midnight, I still hadn’t had my dinner. Okay, I grabbed Ferrero Rocher low fat milkshake from Bravissimo…I guess that was dinner.

My brain is totally fried. Right now, I absolutely have no intelligent bones and cells in my body and brain. I can only think about the weekend. Thank God Wednesday is almost over. Got badminton later tonight with Mail and Sha. Tomorrow is Thursday and I think I am going to utilise my free ticket tomorrow to catch Fantastic Four (Flaming Vic, Invisible Jerry, Fantastic Vaness and Ken Thingy?). Friday I think I will just rot at home and catch The Malaysian Idol. And as for Saturday…hahahaha…that’s the day I’m waiting for, boy!

Yeah yeah! Pay day!


Now I can't say my name, and tell you where I am
I want to roll myself away, don't know if I can
I wish that I could be in some other time and place
With someone elses soul, someone elses face

Oh, Tuesday just might go my way
It can't get worse than yesterday
Thursdays, Fridays ain't been kind
But somehow I'll survive

Hey, man I'm alive I'm takin' each day and night at a time
Yeah I'm down, but I know I'll get by
Hey hey hey hey, man I gotta live my life
I'm gonna pick up all the pieces and what's left of my pride
I'm feelin' like a Monday, but someday I'll be Saturday night - Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night, Bon Jovi


Uh huh, tell me about it!
Played this on my guitar with so much gusto because I could totally relate to this song. Played till my fingers bled and blistered.

Rock on.

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Another Tuesday's mindless entry

This is the most yummilicious, orgasmic (hell, ten times more!) and potent chocolate cookie I’ve ever tasted. Dunk it in cold milk and you’ll forget what sex is. Only at Marks & Spencer. Warning: Fattening as hell…but who cares!


Yaye! Finally managed to upload the few shots taken last Friday on IT’s “birthday”. Well, it wasn’t exactly her birthday because we celebrated it 3 days earlier (it was yesterday, actually) but oh well…here we go.



A roadblock before getting her present – get a hug from Prema.



Dang! She finally saw the box.


CY and I purposely dumped all IT’s presents into the box. Then we wrapped it with the cheesiest wrapping paper we could find. Hah, it looked like some tacky lucky draw box.

Oh well..got to go now..going to the gym. Nani is still sick so she cannot make it. Initially I planned to go for the yoga class…but hmm..i think I shall go scout around for Anna Sui. *wink*

Later!

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