Hobo made good.
Hit the gym last night and argh…it was terrible. My legs felt like lead and it didn’t help being surrounded by enthusiastic runners who looked like they were fit to run a marathon/biathlon/pentathlon/decathlon/omega-athlon. 2km and I was wiped out from the treadmill. I did the stepper next. 1km..out. I did rowing for 10 minutes (pretending I was kayaking down the Indian Ocean) and my back was beginning to get achy. Then another 1km on the skiing machine (pretending I was doing the Alps) before I hobbled back to the dressing room. From lead legs to limbs like jello.
Anyway it’s the 5th of the month now. 15 more days to the big..big..2..2.26 (dammit). Quite a number of January babies, if I am not wrong. Valerie and Rachel (primary school friends), Daphne and CY (office), Weester, Lauren. Wahhhh….gonna be so broke. There’s the coming Hari Raya Haji some more…
…and Chinese New Year. I used to go to ah kiong’s house every year. But this year, he’s in Arizona. I wonder if the rest are visiting his dad this year. He is our honorary gang member. Weiling and Clara had not mentioned anything about the CNY visiting. We didn’t do it last year because somebody’s (either one of them..cant remember) grandparent passed away. Never mind. We can always meet up on my birthday. I think.
I think we are going Scarlet.
Ooh wee.
Let’s have an all-black theme!
This entry is supposed to end here. But I just remembered something. I was watching America’s Next Top Model last night with the parents (it being the father’s favourite show) and they were bitching and being all unhappy about Ebony being eliminated. The father was saying that Diane was too fat and so, should be eliminated. Then I stared at the father’s bulging belly. People are just idiots. God is fair however. He gives the father 3 fat kids.
When I was 7
They said I was strange
I noticed that my eyes and hair weren't the same
I asked my parents if I was OK
They said you're more beautiful
And that's the way they show that they wish
They had your smile
So my confidence was up for a while
I got real comfortable with my own style
I knew that they were only jealous cos
People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you
There was a time when I felt like I cared
That I was shorter than everyone there
People made me feel like life was unfair
And I did things that made me ashamed
Cos I didn't know my body would change
I grew taller than them in more ways
But there will always be the one who will say
Something bad to make them feel great
People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you
Everybody talks bad about somebody
And never realises how it affects somebody
And you bet it won't be forgotten
Envy is the only thing it could be -Ugly, Sugababes
Perfect.
I used to ask the mother why was my hair curlier than my classmates’, why was my colour different from my Malay friends and yet, not the same as my Chinese and Indian friends. I hated my thick lips. I thought they looked so disgusting. I was the tallest girl in class. More manly than most girls. I outran the boys in the football team. I was, unfortunately, a freak.
Then puberty sat in and my height stunted. Life is cruel! What I lacked in height, I made it up in width. Hah. My hair’s still curly, my lips as thick as butter, my breasts as…oh I can go on and on.
But you know what, at 26, I am tired of being disappointed with my appearance. The memory of being bulimic at 15 is repulsive. Demanding parents don’t make life easier. Classmates, friends, TV…we were teenagers once. We were the nerds once.
Humans make other humans do stupid things. When I have children (someday), I will love their fat/flat/button noses, their wide/close set eyes, their curly hair, their loopy smiles and all their imperfections.
Whoa nelly!
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