The Mad Hatter’s Recap Part 1

Thursday, 19 January 2006

The girls in the office got me a cake!




Thanks people. It was nice. Especially, the cake.

After work, I dashed home in a cab so that I could keep the flowers Daffy gave me. She had gone out to do some errands and when the receptionist called me to pick up something from the lobby, I didn’t expect it was from her. Another girl…

Hahaha.



Then I dashed to MediaCorp to catch the finals of Kick Off! with Ting. Ash, the Spurs ah beng and his team mate didn’t get to the finals. Instead, the wild card boys Terence and Damian of Newcastle Singapore managed to go all the way to the finals and compete against Abu and Rahul from Manchester United India.

I revealed too much. Shall just keep mum regarding who were the winners. : (

Everything ended around 2000hrs and I met Meiling after that. We went to AMK McD for some bites and then we shopped around the neighbourhood…soaking the festive atmo.

P/S: Thanks Ting for the Man U scarf!



Friday, 20 January 2006

Happy… birthday!
Happy…birthday!
Happy happy happy birthday!

Ooh yeah! The big two-six. Woke up reluctantly. Even though I took the bloody day off, I had to wake up early because I had scheduled to meet my AIA agents at Bishan at 1030hrs. Chatted about my million-dollar investment plan…my gold stock…my investment. Everything sounded Greek but it’s okay. I just needed to know if I was making money or not.

Apparently, I was..and still am.

Then before we parted at around noon, my 2 agents gave me a present. Awwwww….



After that, I dashed to Tanjong Pagar to meet my Prudential insurance agent. Actually, it was my agent’s representative. I had to pay her some backdated premiums (tsk tsk) so I went to the IBM Fuji Xerox Towers to meet her. Time was 1300hrs. I was supposed to meet Meiling and Sharinah at 1400hrs at Suntec. However those two called me and said they would be late.
So I went to Funan the I.T. Mall

…and bought an IBM ThinkCentre.

In order to save money, I just bought the CPU…no monitor. I upgraded the memory (256+512) and added the DVD Combo. Totalled to $1155. Then I bought the external hard disk storage so that my old one could be used. That thingy also allows me to convert Mac files. Another $80. Total damage at Funan: $1235 cash.

That’s about $40 cheaper than my plane ticket to UK last year. Ouch!

At 1445hrs I met Meiling and deciding we were too hungry to wait for Sharinah, we went to suntec’s Swensen’s for lunch. Meiling’s treat.
After lunch, we went window-shopping. At 1600hrs, Sharinah joined us and we headed back to Swensen’s (!??) for ice cream.



Meiling gave me Victoria’s Secret perfume! Though it’s a fragrance I wasn’t familiar with (unlike Champagne & Strawberry), it was still heavenly. Sharinah gave me a bag, Actually, that woman didn’t buy it. She asked Meiling to buy on her behalf. I didn’t like the bag…and being a brat, I asked Meiling to change it. But Meiling was the one who suggested that.

We continued gallivanting after that. I even bought myself a gift. It was Sarah Jessica Parker’s Lovely.


However at around 2030hrs, I had to leave them. I dashed to Apollo Centre at Clarke Quay for my next “celebration” – a karaoke session with Dear, CY and Ally.




I couldn’t help it. Andy Lau was cute back then.

Service was sucky that night at that place. We were made to change room twice. I was feeling damn tired. Thank God no one snapped a photo of me singing Marc Anthony’s My Baby You lying down…with my legs in the air.


Ew.


Anyway, the girls were damn sweet. They then methodically presented me my gifts.

1. A magical gay wand


2 Ettusais lip palette.


3. A gift card/voucher from Dorothy Perkins (woohoo!)

4. A very colourful hand-made card



Thanks, babes.

We left the place at 0130hrs. I was so tired by then…and began to talk gibberish.
Okay…I will update Saturday and Sunday’s events in the next post.

###

Bleurgh!

I took a sip from my Spider-Man waterbottle and fuck...the water, which had been in the bottle since Thursday, tasted funny. The water tasted like there's cockroach in it.

 

How do I know how a cockroach taste like?

 

(emailed)

 

###

When we were strangers

It started with this 10 16 years ago:


The year was 1990. The show was The Pied Piper of Hamelin.


Given 2 years, we became like these…pimples and all.

The class was 6/1. The spectacles were huge.


15 years later…




Some of those who survived.

###

Back for 26

17 hours after dinner and I am still fucking bloated...

 

Weizhong posted a picture of us still living as 10-year-olds. It was disgusting and yeah, Rae...we were a bunch of blur-fuck misfits. i refuse to scrutinise the picture to look for my face. However, I think I can see myself. Damn those big-ass, aviator-like glasses.

 

Ew.

 

Anyway, i am back with a vengeance. I had a kick-ass (but damn damn damn tiring) birthday and although am a bit broke, I am glad i spent the weekend with great friends.

 

A bit broke?

 

Actually I am very broke right now. I spent a BOMB (in my definition) on an IBM ThinkCentre CPU. Have to start saving for New York again.

 

Watch out for kick-ass pictures coming up real soon.

 

P/s: Thanks for EVERYTHING, guys. The cake in the office, the glorious flowers, the maddening KTV (Ally singing Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit???), the pigged out birthday lunch session, the dining under the stars (and in the rain) sipping *gasp* cognac-ed coffee (urgh! i cant believe i broke my liquour virginity with something so disgusting and burning. very good. i will never try it again), the late night jazz performance at Timbre with Jeremy Monteiro, his drummer and the epileptic bassist, the ice-cream at lunch and the wicked buffet dinner.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Great weekend

Awrite...gonna scoot off now.

 

Have a good weekend, guys.

 

Moonies, I see you on Sunday @ 6.30. Don't be late and remember, bring on the bling.

 

I'm gonna have fun turning 26.

 

Ta!

 

(emailed)

 

###

Oh my goodness

Daffy gave me a bouquet of white roses.

 

The receptionist downstairs called me up and asked me to pick up something. Then I saw the flowers. Damn heavy ok.

 

So now I have to go home first before I can go for my appointment. I dont want to bring the flowers around...because later, I am going MediaCorp.

 

Thank you Daffy.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Birthday eve!

“Go..go..go shawty it’s your birthday”

But that's tomorrow.

I came to the office with bags in one hand and a can of Minute Maid Limeade in one hand and soon, I was dragged into the pantry by CY. Oooh…why? Right. Like I don’t know. Haha! Inside, there were 11-12 people crammed in the pantry and crowding over a cake which had 26 8 candles on it. Awww…you guys.


Daffy then gave me this TopShop plastic bag and in it…there’s a silver bracelet and a pair of earrings. Thank you, babe!

Yeah yeah.

Went to Nanyang Poly last night for the West Timor meeting and after moments of deliberation, I volunteered to be the Welfare Team leader because no one else wanted to be one. Sweet. My team of 100 4 will have to come up with 10 games, a campfire session and a farewell party for 300 people.Sweet, Mona.

Funny. During the introduction part, I introduced myself as a writer in a children’s magazine. Then the usual will go:

Girl 1: Oh! You must love children!
Me: Actually, no. I hate them.
Boy 1: Huh? Then you are in the wrong project right?
Me: No..I love to do volunteer work..the harder, the better. I just don’t like kids.
Girl 1: But we are going to be in an orphanage.
Me: I know…It will be fine. As long as the kids don’t bug the hell out of me.

(Nervous laughter all around)

Come on. I’ll be fine. I wont kill the kids. They have the privilege to be naughty, rude and terrible. They are orphans. They have no parents to teach them proper manners.

Especially those rich bratty tykes who bully their maids.

Rushed home at 2045hrs to catch the American Idol and hahahahahahahahahahahah..it was funny. Die. That’s it. My weekdays will be gone. I wont go out because I need to watch American Idol.


One of my favourite people who auditioned in American Idol.


AH…..the Idol mania is back!


Anyway, gonna catch the finals of KICK OFF! Tonight with Ting @ MediaCorp. I was thinking of going Ministry of Sound after that with Sharinah but on second thought, nah…

I am taking leave tomorrow. The thought of working on my birthday kills me and well, what if things go wrong tomorrow? Better don’t take risks, right? Am meeting my insurant agents tomorrow. I’m meeting the AIA one at Bishan at around 1030hrs, and then the Prudential one at 1230hrs at Tanjong Pagar. Damn these people. How do they know it’s bonus time?

After that, hopefully I can meet up with Meiling and Sharinah for lunch. Then in the evening, I will join the colleagues for dinner and maybe a little bit of karaoke.

Let the good times roll, baby.



###

Love is a mystery, love is an energy

Din emailed us a few (all 49 of them) pictures taken during his engagement day. There’s no picture of him..it’s all Rohaidah and the trays of goodies he gave her.



These are Din’s mother (left) and his sister (right). I think the snotty tyke is his cousin.


Went to MOE this morning and my post-MOE plan of heading to Holland V was thwarted because Maran, my Tamil editor, was going to treat all the Mother Tongue people to lunch @ Muthu’s Curry @ Little India. B came along too. She was the only NMT editor.

Maran finally decided to treat us after being taunted by IT for keeping his prize money to himself. Maran received a prize in a poetry contest and we got to know about it and for the past 2 months, we had been egging him to treat us.


So from MOE, I rushed down to Specialist’s Centre to buy BSB tickets at SISTIC, to Dhoby Ghaut to take NEL and finally to Farrer Park. As I was walking, the Mafia honked me and asked me to get into her heavily-laden SUV. We then ended up near Muthu’s Curry restaurant at Race Course Road.

Actually, it wasn’t Maran’s idea. IT and Yvonne were the ones who declare that Maran would treat us to Muthu’s Curry and eat fish head…



…on top of many other things. Maran wasn’t shy with his money. Maybe he secretly received a 5-month bonus while the rest received practically nothing. Anyway, we had briyani, white rice, cheese naan, garlic naan, fish head curry, chilli squid, chilli crab, another kind of fish dish, 2 chicken dishes, giant prawns, mutton and I cant remember what else. We started eating at 1230hrs and we were there for about 2 hours.


Pictures taken off the net. Will post up the lunch pictures…once I can find the cable.

And GOD..I am so full and sleepy.

Anyway…met Liah at Somerset MRT last night. We were supposed to buy BSB tickets but Liah got sidetracked and went to develop her pictures first. By the time we wanted to buy the tickets at Specialist Shopping Centre, the guy at the ticketing counter said we cannot buy any SISTIC tickets after 2000hrs. What the…! I looked at my watch and it was 2005hrs! We would have been served earlier if the boy (and another girl) didn’t chat on the phone and attend to us immediately.

Angry, of course.

But, we weren’t angry for long. Extreme hunger crept and we adjourned to Centrepoint’s Pizza Hut. Hah, Moonies…it’s THE Pizza Hut! Nani and Lauren joined us soon after and we ate and bitched…from 2015hours to 2130hrs. We planned to catch a show but somehow, none of us wanted to leave that place.

From there, we went to Borders to get some magazines. My UK Cosmopolitan…$14.90. okay! At about 2300hrs, we parked ourselves at Shaw’s McD…guess until what time?

0245hrs!

By the time I reached home, I was stoned. But I really wanted to read my Cosmo mag…so I stayed up till 0500hrs. That explains why I am so sleepy now. Not forgetting I am very full and can jolly well skip dinner.

BURP …excuse me, that was a spicy one.

Oh well…am having the West Timor meeting tonight at 1930hrs at (of all places) Nanyang Poly. Good thing is that NYP is just a 10-minute walk away from home. Hopefully I can rush back to catch American Idol.

All right.
Need to be productive right now.
Go pantry, make Milo.


P/S: Am taking 1 whole day leave on Friday. I don’t think I want to step into the office on my birthday.

P/S: Have already booked space for dinner at Hyatt this Sunday with the polymoonies. For the gurlies, it’s gonna be Scarlet Hotel’s rooftop place on Saturday. Should I go to Junhan’s Fullerton Suite party after that? But..I want to watch Man U vs Liverpool.

###

More malays can?

Mona: How's the engagement?

Yiling: Scary! I babysit Din's cousins on Sunday.

Mona: Eee..scary indeed!

Yiling: Yeah, scary. So many! Malays are reproductive, man

Mona: Tell me about it. I think they dont have many recreational activities.

 

Watch out, world. The rise of the Malays will soon come.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Birthday Big Bird

Oh...Shan turns 24 today.

 

Why must cute guys be young?

 

(emailed)

 

###

M(oments) O(f) E(nvy)

Another early meeting at MOE tomorrow. I cant wait to leave this damn%&^& and say goodbye to the stifling MOE building which I have to visit frequently.

 

Anyway...

 

Good timing, though. Maybe tomorrow can go to Holland V after meeting. After all, it's pay day.

 

But then...

 

Holland V is just not a place I like to go alone. It's a really hang-out hang-loose kind of place and I cant hang out and loose without a friend or two with me.

 

Ah, I know!

 

I'll go Suntec tomorrow after meeting.

 

But then...

 

What if my boss catches me skiving?

 

Damn...

 

Holland V is a safer option. There is a shoe shop there, some nice accessory shops and a party shop there. Maybe I can get something there for the my birthday parties. A bit sad...buy for myself for my own birthday.

 

So...

 

Holland V it shall be.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Weight lost...weight gain

The office's Jabba the Hutt has lost A LOT of weight. She almost looks petite now. 

 

Inspired by Dear Tan, today, I managed to get my ass into my Mango skirt which i bought more than a year ago and wore only twice before not being able to zip it.

 

But..hahah..wishful thinking on my part. Of course I havent lost much weight and I didnt exactly get "lost" in the skirt. Meaning...the skirt wasnt THAT roomy. I think I will have difficulty boarding the bus later because I dont think I can open up my step.

 

Even getting onto a cab just now was hard. I went in like a lady ... derriere first on the seat, legs together, suck in stomach and demurely lift the legs into the cab.

 

Ah...women.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Backside Boys

Okay.

 

Awrite.

 

Oh.

 

Never mind.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Sleep deprived

I am developing a major headache. I think it must be the lack of sleep since Thursday combines with the congestion in my brain thinking of so many things.

 

Friday saw me at home and yet, sleeping at 0400hrs...waking up 3 hours later for NPCC. Anyway, anyone went out last Saturday? It was a lovely hot day! I was playing captain's ball (something like netball) with my cadets and it was wonderful. I have not been playing sports/games for quite a while and it was great...screaming, jumping, wrestling with fellow humans. My worries melted away into the scorching parade ground as we played in the heat of noon.

 

Went back showered and hit the library at 1700hrs because it was a more conducive place to study my EPL. Rushed home at 2030hrs because I wanted to catch the Manchester Derby.

 

There are only 2 teams in Manchester - Manchester United and Manchester United Reserves.

 

My ass, lah!

 

Man U lost 1-3 and well, that was the part when I wanted to smash my TV. But of course, sanity and common sense sank in. Did a little more reading before being distracted by Jamie Oliver and Floyd's cooking shows. Then accidentally fell asleep at 0100hrs.

 

Managed to wake up 2.5hours later and stayed up till 0730hrs to do some reading. Went back to sleep ..woke up at 1100hrs and by 1345hrs, i was at the studio.

 

Tiring, right?

 

Oh well..I'll catch you guys tomorrow. Hopefully I bring the right cable then. Shall slowly crawl my way to gym.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Time is crawling, man...

It's slighly past 1600hrs and I am terribly, terribly sleepy. Work productivity is appalling ... and the prospect of a fantastic birthday weekend seems to be a much greater image to picture.

 

I seem to enjoy writting gibberish bloggy snippets.

 

I am thinking of what to wear for Friday, Saturday, Sunday..should i take 1 whole day of leave or just half a day on Friday? Thank God I have friends to celebrate the weekend with. If not, I would be at home, crying because I turn 26.

 

By the way, I figure it is still not too late. Congratulations to ROHAIDAH & KHAIRUDIN! They got engaged yesterday and I couldnt attend it because I was at the studio. They are getting married next year in June and considering how close Din and I are, I have to start saving for his mega ang pow.

 

Oh well...he'll be the 4th to get married after Ah Kiong, Ardi and probably, Aidil (somewhere this year). That will leave Shadiq, Firman and me, from the Old Guards. Awrite shall not go there.

 

I am tired. I am sleepy. Should I go gym?

 

 

4 MORE DAYS!

 

 

P/s: Mail, if you are looking for your Rachel Green...I am looking for my... shucks. I dont know who/what I am looking for.

 

 

(emailed)

 

###

Oh Lordy!

Oh man...Ting i managed to see clips of the Celebrity Island thingy. Lee Sharpe and Abi Titmus were so fucking scandalous. i mean..wow..fucking on TV?

 

We'll never get to see such reality show here in Singapura Land. The likes of Fiona Xie, Utt, Howard Lo, *gasp*Xiaxue, Amos Boon at Sentosa, anyone?

 

Wow. I guess...I'm still quite a conservative.

 

(emailed)

 

###

What's love got to do..got to do with it

Something is wrong with blogger. Or is it just me?

 

Something is wrong with blogger.

 

I feel like watching a movie.

 

###

About last night...

Stupid 1:
- i should have gone with the gut instinct and say "Blackburn" instead of bloody "Newcastle". I forgot what was the question so dont bother asking me.


Stupid 2:
- why the hell did I hesitate? It was bloody Park Ji-Sung, lah! Korea named a place after him! ARGH!!!!!!!


Stupid 3:
- Sheesh. Shouldnt have mugged so much on the World Cup. Nothing came out.


Stupid 4:
- Brought camera containing last night's pictures to office...brought the wrong cable, instead. Brought the brother's Creative Zen cable instead.


Well well...

Obviously, we lost. But personally, it was a good defeat because (1) we didnt get trounced (2) we got 22 points (2 points behind..dammit) and not 8 points, like another group from Indonesia and (3) we were even the favourites at some points. Yeah we were leading the Malaysian Gunners ...right until the end.

Ting and I got Lee Sharpe as our team captain. Yes, Ting (also known as Ree-ly) was ecstatic. She even "picked" him up, hinting that she wanted to bring him to Zouk. Faint. He was a great help. I mean, although we didnt win the game because of him (it's true! he flopped 2 questions ... which Ting and I couldnt answer anyway), he did help us from suffering a further humiliation. I'm glad I could answer some questions. Ting, I'm sure you're glad too.


Host: Here's a cracking goal from Steve Carr! Now, tell me, who scored the goal?

(confering)
Mona: (to Sharpe) Carr..Stephen Carr. And he just mentioned the name!

Sharpe: Yep it's Steve Carr.

(answering)
Ting: (to host) It's Carr!

Sharpe: (to host) You mentioned it, mate!

Les Ferdinand: (shouting from the other side) That was great! You just gave them the answer!

...and the host went stunned/blank/dumbfounded for a while. On hindsight, maybe it was his way of helping the *ahem* girls. If it is so, it's very good acting. But well, he could have been too excited and accidentally blurted out the answer.


Haha. Dumb ass,
Anyway, after much fumblings from the host (who went crumbling after the Carr fiasco hahahah!), technical problems and much clapping from the audience (thanks guys for coming!), the recording was soon over.


Wubbie: I've got some more stuff to give away. Who can answer this...what position did Lee Sharpe play in *some team's name*?

Mona: 69!

...and Lee Sharpe turned around and gave me that "Why you..." look. Les Ferdinand was guffawing. The host gave Mona that shocked look.

Sharpe: (looking at Mona) Why, you! And you look like such nice decent girl!

...Right. Wrong girl, Sharpey.


Anyway...
I was skeptical about participating and i didnt think we could make to the second round either. i didnt want to miss work (surprise! surprise!) and the prospect of having to go through gut-crunching nervousness again in the next round scared the living daylights out of me. Yes, I hate defeat too much that I dont even want to be in the probability. But during the course of the game show, we were leading and i thought, "Wow...we can win this."

Then the opopnent burst the bubble

Oh well. It was a good match, right, Ting? Darn close, too. We did behave on TV...no curses and expletives and definitely no middle fingers. Although Sha said she could hear me lamely spouting "Shit!" and "Dammit!".


(Before the game show, an outdoor recording took place under the hot sun)

Mr Moving Visual: Girls, you have to speak up and be more aggressive and outspoken. (Points to Mona) You...I know you are demure, but be more aggressive.

Mona: (in most whiniest voice) But I'm not demure!

Mr Moving Visual: Can you girls sing some Man U cheer?

Mona: (to Ting) Shit...what cheer?

Ting: I dont know leh.

Mona: Okay we sing the Solskjaer cheer.

...Mona and Ting started to sing a couple of lines. Then guess what? It began to fucking rain!! Asshole!


All right, all right. Enough of the game show..which I made $150 out of it. I will try to stay away from football news for the next 3..fine, 2 (err..1?) days. no watching football these couple of days. I watched so much, expecially during the last couple of weeks, I wanted to smash the TV last Saturday. It didnt help that New Paper featured 6-10 football pages daily and reading and digesting all of them took almost an hour.

Ok.
Later.

###

Smile, pout and flutter

Am feeling all mixed up.

- Tired … of living
- Pukey … from Daffy Duck’s chocolate cake
- Panic … preparing (or lack of) for the game
- Excitement … for the impending birthday
- Depressed … from being broke


Take away the sensations inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
It’s like throbbing toothache of the mind
I can’t take this feeling anymore

Take the pressure from the swelling
This sensation’s overwhelming
Give me all a kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won’t feel a thing
So give me novocaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny that’s feeling alright
Jimmy says it’s better than air

I’ll tell you what
Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation’s overwhelming
Give me all a kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won’t feel a thing
So give me novocaine - Give Me Novocaine, Green Day

How I wish for this weekend to come and go in a flash. I cant wait for Monday. In the meantime, have a good weekend people.

Wish me luck.

###

i swear...

..I will not read any soccer news on the internet for the next 3 days after the game show.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Regrets...I have a few

Why did I fall asleep while reading up on the World Cup history?

 

Argh!!!!!!

 

And now...I am still clueless about everything!

 

(emailed)

 

###

Is it? Is it not?

Is a paradox the same as an irony?

 

Cool.

Editing Malay teks makes me think in English.

 

Anyway...

 

Yup. The birthday theme is out - ALL THAT GLITTERS! In other words, it's all about the bling-bling, ya'll.

 

Here's a suggestion:

 

Ismail - just bring Mariah's Glitter album

Jay & Jo - dress as Jay-Z and Beyonce

Susan & Sean - Lil Kim and Nelly

Ting: Missy Elliot

Sha, Nani, Lauren - Destiny's Child

 

(emailed)

 

### 

A bitter taste...

...they have poly students in the English committee???? Nabei. And to think they put me in the welfare team...to just talk cock sing song? Are they even serious?

 

Gah!

 

That's what i get for not attending meetings and, you know, physically BE THERE to make yourself heard or be seen.

 

 

Bullshitting youngsters aside...

 

Ting and I are gonna meet Les Ferdinand and Lee Sharpe later. i even brought a camera to take the royal reject's face. Just for old time's sake.

 

In the meantime, let me just go one corner and sulk my day through.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Addendum

And oh, Blush, I had a not-so-great Hari Raya Haji, too.

 

It started bad...and it ended worse.

 

Some people should just die.

 

(emailed)

 

###

A Stupid Cake Affair

Rushed off to buy cake for the secretary last night. Brought it to work and realised that the secretary was on MC. Nabei chee bye.

 

Dear then said "It's okay" and suggested we cut the cake for tea break.

 

1600hrs and Dear is not in the office. She told me to "Go ahead" and cut/eat the cake. The thing is...the person whom the cake was meant for is not around, the person whom I was supposed to share the cake cost with was not around. If I asked other people to eat, do I expect them to pay?

 

Yes...money.

 

I am down to my last bucks. I am not even gyming because I am cutting transport costs. I dont care. The cake is gonna stay in the fridge until every involving party is present.

 

Work brings out the best bitch in me.

Tough.

 

###

 

Another day in the office life...

I went to the meeting with HATE. I came out of it with CONTEMPT and CONFUSION.

 

The head of meeting wanted us to communicate more with each other. But itself didnt want to hear our explanations and refuse to acknowledge our plight...instead, it chose to attack us with pseudo-optimism and fake positive imageries.

 

What a fine piece of crap.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Mmmbek..mmbek..mmbek

To all Muslims,

 

Happy Eid Ul Adha!

 

We'll meet on Wednesday.

 

(emailed)

 

###

Devils and Revlon

J and I are going through some serious soul-searching at this very moment. Where did we go wrong? Where was the wrong turn that we made? If we could turn back time, where exactly should we restart?

With the great idea of quitting draws bigger, I am thinking of possible things I can do. It seems like I am worthless. “No market value,” J said. I have to agree. By that, we are not talking about salary. We are talking self-worth.

Free. Cheap sale. Buy one get one free. Lelong!

Oh well.



It has been raining non-stop since Friday. I actually liked this kind of weather…but after 3 days, it got somewhat depressing.



My weekend started last Friday evening at Northbrooks Secondary. I was in-charge of the Sec 3 NPCC Camp. It was fine except having the Sec 1 camp running concurrently in the premise pissed me off big time. It was terrible. The sec 3s, although they had their own programme planned by me, were made to do shitty stuff like cleaning after the Sec 1s. Piece of shit.

Thank God the Sec 3s were a very patient lot. I love them for that. Here are my little chickens:



The instructors from the Sec 1 camp were supposed to set up the campfire. However, they were too “busy” (God knows with what). So I got the Sec 3s, Mr Ng (one of our officers from HQ) and myself to do the campfire. The Sec 3s were supposed to just observe the process. But they got more than what they bargained for.


One of the cadets posing with the creative structure.

Then it rained. We held a big canvas over the structure and stood/sat in the rain. This campfire wasn’t even meant to be for us (Sec 3s). Anyway, the Sec 3s were made to sleep in the canteen although they were initially allocated the 3rd-floor classrooms as bunks. But the Sec 1 camp organisers decided to cordon the 3rd floor to prevent the Sec 1s from wandering around. By cordoning off that area, it meant that no one would do sentry duty on the third floor and check on the Sec 3s. That’s fucking selfish and stupid…knowing the “spooky history” of the school.




So I decided to let the kids sleep in the canteen. But dammit…those instructors from the Sec 1 camp were all at the canteen playing cyber fucking games and making lots of noise. The biting cold and the rain didn’t help at all. I myself slept in a poncho under a make-shift basha under the rain outside the canteen because the canteen itself was too darn noisy. I woke up wet…from the rain. Meiling slept beside me.

Both shivering.

Saturday was a totally chaotic day, no thanks to the rain, the noisy school band and the Sec 1s. Because it was raining, we decided to do rifle drill in the canteen. But the school band was performing there too (for the Sec 1 orientation session). It didn’t help that there were so many irritating Sec 1s running here and there going totally out of control. So we decided to have the training in a classroom.


Surprise, surprise. The girls seemed to be better at rifle drill than the guys. Some of the guys were so weak and lemau I felt like bayoneting them on the balls. Hah.


Anyway, the Sec 1s soon went off at 1600hrs. So were their instructors. My Sec 3s were left cleaning the canteen and clearing some stuff left by them. I was so so so so pissed. The Sec 1 instructors (some of them from NPCC) will definitely get it from me the next time I see them.


..no one dismantled the tent exhibit, the hurricane lamps were left in the rain, the trophies were wet, the NPCC room was super dirty, some lamps were broken, kerosene leaked onto the ground sheet…


Meiling and I reached AMK around 1815hrs. We went back after dinner and well, it was still raining. The only sun we saw that Saturday was around noon…for just 30 minutes. I went home, read the papers/RECRUITS, got depressed, showered and at 2100hrs, fell asleep.

Sunday, Bloody Rainy Sunday
It was still raining on Sunday. Ting and I were supposed to have our TV promo shooting for the game show at Singapore Poly. But the organisers changed the venue to their office at Lavendar instead, because of the bad weather. We were supposed to bring our Man U memorabilia. I brought my Old Trafford photos, posters, Cantona book and jerseys.



The Singapore Newcastle team went first. They were 2 young boys who knew EVERYTHING about football. They were projecting a no-nonsense image in their shots. I felt so stupid. I don’t even know why I’m supporting Man U in the first place.

Next up was the Singapore Everton team. But their clothes clashed with the blue backdrop. The next team, Singapore Arsenal, was passed too because one of them was wearing a blue O2 jersey, which also clashed with the backdrop. That left Ting and I…Singapore Manchester United. My throat began to get dry and my legs got weak. I felt faint.



I don’t know about Ting but I got damn nervous. My mind went blank and I kept fumbling my lines. This was only a photoshoot…imagine what I would be like during the actual game show. Anyway, unlike the Team Newcastle, My Foot! (that’s our team name) was full of campy rubbish. We were so not serious.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mona posed with her back facing the camera. She was wearing the old Man U jersey, which had ‘CANTONA’ printed at the back. The director shouted “ACTION!”

Ting: We like Manchester United because of Eric Cantona (pointing to the name behind Mona’s back)
Mona: (turning her head and tossing her hair like a shampoo model) Because he brought style to the team.



Then, because of her rubbish nature, Mona shouted “Revlon!” at the end of her line. A retake had to be done. Ting’s voice was quaking with a suppressed giggle. So was the director's.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bimbo.

It will be a miracle if we ever get pass this first round.
A damn great miracle.

###

OH MAN!

I dont believe this.

 

After reading Jo's blog, i found that Jay and Jo have changed their wedding date to 25th November.

 

That makes the date for 2 Moonie-weddings.

 

But then again...I may not be invited.

 

(emailed)

 

###

 

 

Spawn of the devil

I saw Siti Azzah (my primary school buddy) yesterday at AMK Central. Gone is her tudung. Together with her virginity, hahaha! She was eating chicken rice with a big, burly man. I think that's her husband. If I am not mistaken, she is wearing some maternity dress. Wah, that's fast!

 

Very productive, indeed. Congratulations.

 

I told the mother about her. And how her hubby looks like. It got me thinking. When we were younger, Azzah and I had ideas of how our men would look like. I remember in secondary school, she had a crush on this gorgeous guy. Even I, from a neighbouring school, heard about his gorgeous-ness.  But now, she is happily married to a bouncer of a hubby. It goes to show that superficiality declines with age. At least, for most.

 

Haha.

 

I look at Liah and Sharinah...they are always looking out for a guy who is like this...and like that. But, they always end up with a bunch of misfits whom they made exceptions for. Is our criteria something to be compromised? Is it fair for men to tell women to lower their requirements? What is wrong with women having a set of guidelines? What makes us create an out-of this-world criteria?

 

I think guys have to blame those men who kind of spoil the market. There are some men (very very rare species) who are simply perfect. I think the rest of the male species should hunt them down and kill them. When no such Greek Gods are around, women tend to just throw in the towel and get the next best beer-chugging, butt-scratching, balls-groping, fart-machines.

 

And as for women...there are so many market-spoilers like the prawn-peelers, anal-sexers, beauty queens, erotic bloggers, motherly felines, pseudo-naive Lolitas, vampish nymphs, sarong party girls. If you're not in the list, dont bother killing the rest. Just kill yourself.

 

This is pure rubbish.

 

I know.

 

Awrite. Gonna be out after lunch to take some photos and after that, gonna be at Northbrooks in the evening for the damn camp. Will try to cramp as much EPL info at night while doing sentry duty (yeah right..zzzz). You guys have a great weekend, man.

 

 

P/s: Pay is gonna come in on the 18th!!! Woohoo woohoo! *Do a tribal dance around office cubicle* ooh gashaka ooh gashaka ooh gashaka

 

(emailed)

###

Your self-doubt means nothing was ever there

I'm not in love
So don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because
I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no no, just because..

I like to see you
But then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you
Don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no no, just because..

I keep your picture
Upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that's lying there
So don't you ask me
To give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

Ooh you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh you'll wait a long time
Ooh you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh you'll wait a long time

 

Great 10CC classic.

 

(emailed)

###

He's the one!

He's the one i've been looking for.

He's been right under my nose all this while.

He is everything on the list...and more.

He is the one.

 

...

 

But..why God, why?

 

(emailed)

 

###

If I'm ugly then so are you

In my utter disdain in waking up to go to work, I subconsciously sabotaged my fashion sense. Yesterday I wore my brown ‘farmer-pants’ – which I always reserved for the beach or during backpacking trips (because of its many pockets) – and an out of shape blouse together with havaianas slippers. Today, I look like the office hobo boho with my purple peasant skirt, t-shirt and my dusty blue shrug. Oh, and my Shaolin monk sandals. Oh well, at least I ironed my clothes.


Hobo made good.

Hit the gym last night and argh…it was terrible. My legs felt like lead and it didn’t help being surrounded by enthusiastic runners who looked like they were fit to run a marathon/biathlon/pentathlon/decathlon/omega-athlon. 2km and I was wiped out from the treadmill. I did the stepper next. 1km..out. I did rowing for 10 minutes (pretending I was kayaking down the Indian Ocean) and my back was beginning to get achy. Then another 1km on the skiing machine (pretending I was doing the Alps) before I hobbled back to the dressing room. From lead legs to limbs like jello.


Anyway it’s the 5th of the month now. 15 more days to the big..big..2..2.26 (dammit). Quite a number of January babies, if I am not wrong. Valerie and Rachel (primary school friends), Daphne and CY (office), Weester, Lauren. Wahhhh….gonna be so broke. There’s the coming Hari Raya Haji some more…

…and Chinese New Year. I used to go to ah kiong’s house every year. But this year, he’s in Arizona. I wonder if the rest are visiting his dad this year. He is our honorary gang member. Weiling and Clara had not mentioned anything about the CNY visiting. We didn’t do it last year because somebody’s (either one of them..cant remember) grandparent passed away. Never mind. We can always meet up on my birthday. I think.

I think we are going Scarlet.

Ooh wee.
Let’s have an all-black theme!


This entry is supposed to end here. But I just remembered something. I was watching America’s Next Top Model last night with the parents (it being the father’s favourite show) and they were bitching and being all unhappy about Ebony being eliminated. The father was saying that Diane was too fat and so, should be eliminated. Then I stared at the father’s bulging belly. People are just idiots. God is fair however. He gives the father 3 fat kids.

When I was 7
They said I was strange
I noticed that my eyes and hair weren't the same
I asked my parents if I was OK
They said you're more beautiful
And that's the way they show that they wish
They had your smile
So my confidence was up for a while
I got real comfortable with my own style
I knew that they were only jealous cos

People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you

There was a time when I felt like I cared
That I was shorter than everyone there
People made me feel like life was unfair
And I did things that made me ashamed
Cos I didn't know my body would change
I grew taller than them in more ways
But there will always be the one who will say
Something bad to make them feel great

People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you

Everybody talks bad about somebody
And never realises how it affects somebody
And you bet it won't be forgotten
Envy is the only thing it could be -Ugly, Sugababes

Perfect.

I used to ask the mother why was my hair curlier than my classmates’, why was my colour different from my Malay friends and yet, not the same as my Chinese and Indian friends. I hated my thick lips. I thought they looked so disgusting. I was the tallest girl in class. More manly than most girls. I outran the boys in the football team. I was, unfortunately, a freak.

Then puberty sat in and my height stunted. Life is cruel! What I lacked in height, I made it up in width. Hah. My hair’s still curly, my lips as thick as butter, my breasts as…oh I can go on and on.

But you know what, at 26, I am tired of being disappointed with my appearance. The memory of being bulimic at 15 is repulsive. Demanding parents don’t make life easier. Classmates, friends, TV…we were teenagers once. We were the nerds once.

Humans make other humans do stupid things. When I have children (someday), I will love their fat/flat/button noses, their wide/close set eyes, their curly hair, their loopy smiles and all their imperfections.

Whoa nelly!

###

A Pact With The Devil

You know…when I cuss and swear, it doesn’t always mean that I am angry. I am so used to saying some expletives, they just roll off my tongue so god damn naturally. It’s not good right? It’s unladylike, I know. But..but..but..

How about if I say “Fuck you!” in a very gentle and demure manner?



Nonsense aside


What’s wrong with me? *slap head* I have plans for everything but I don’t have the courage, confidence and faith to see them through. Now, I have mounting doubts. For a commitment-phobe like me, 2006 is sure beginning to look like a nerve-wrecking year.


What have I gotten myself into?


Scenario 1
This Friday, I promised the people from the Youth Expedition Project that I could come down for the project meeting at 1900hrs to discuss our West Timor trip. But I forgot one thing…I am supposed to be at Northbrooks Seconday at that same time, same day, for the Sec 1 combined Uniformed Groups and Sec 3 (NPCC) camps. Yeah 2 camps running concurrently. *slap head*

Ed: I have smsed the YEP people and told them about my inability to attend the briefing. DAMMIT. Anyway, the guy in-charge (who happened to be my junior of 4 years back in Primary School) just replied. He said “Eek!” and said something about updating me about the briefing (phew). He then added conveniently that I would be in the Welfare Team, in charge of games and campfire during our “service” at West Timor. Man. I am forever destined to be the clown. *grumble grumble*Welfare sucks*grumble grumble*. But okay…must be positive.


"Kumbayah my timorese lord"

Scenario 2
For me to leave my job in March, I should tender my resignation the latest by mid February. I haven’t gotten a job yet.

Ed: Will start looking intensively. Nuff’ said.


Scenario 3
For me to go to West Timor, I need to keep my March 11-25 free. If I’m still in my present company, it will be the peak period..the mad, busy submission deadline. I have to really really be sure that I can either leave the company or finish my books in time. I don’t think I want to compromise me volunteering in West Timor. I missed so many such opportunities. I don’t want to miss another one again for, seriously, I will regret it.

Ed: I have to psyche myself up. I just might do a Lauren Lee. Tender without having a job in hand, go West Timor and then come back a jobless and penniless girl. Best time to look for a sugar daddy, I tell you. I just talked to my supervisor about my career path in SNP and I know what’s in store for me here. He’s great. He encouraged me to go with my gut feelings and interest.


Scenario 4
Me signing up for Singapore Idol. Again. What was I thinking? To say that I don’t want to make it past the audition is a lie. But, what about my job?

Ed: Gah! Don’t think so much. The least of my worry right now. Pui.


Scenario 5:
The coming gameshow. Again. What was I thinking? For the past month I have been reading news after news on football. Every night, I will fall asleep while reading the sports section, with saliva dripping on the pages and all. And I still not sure who is who, who do what. I am so gonna be shamed on national TV.

Ed: smile…smile…smile…don’t curse on national TV. Don’t flash boobs. No wardrobe malfunction.


Scenario 6:
My Primary School alumni is involved in the P4 camp in June and they wanted me to participate. I am a camp enthusiast…the mention of “camp” makes me all orgasmic. But that leads to my next problem.


Scenario 7
New York. Some kakis and I plan to hit New York late May/June. But if I have no job post-West Timor, I don’t think I can fund meself to the Big Apple. The shitty thing is, if I HAVE a job post-West Timor, what makes me think my new boss will let me off for 2 weeks so that I can gallivant in ang moh land?


Ed: A good answer for this scenario is to stay in my current job and screw the rest of the other scenarios. BUT, I did make a disclaimer. A change of job will definitely affect my New York trip. Will think more about this in 2 weeks’ time, when I turn 26…and more importantly, when I get my bloody bonus.


Now…gym.
Adios.


P/S: Meiling…we have to meet up either tonight or tomorrow to come up with the camp programme. Stupid xxx just told me last minute.

###

My baby havaianas

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Maimona

To: Blog

Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2006 12:47 PM

Subject: My baby havaianas

No thanks to running along City Hall in heels last Saturday, my left foot has swollen up a little. And because of that, my new Havis feel tight on the left foot. Thank God I have a spare pair of slippers here in the office. If not, my feet will turn blue.

 

I'm blue dabadee daba da..

I have a blue house and a blue window...

 

SHUT UP!

 

Nani woke me up at 0415hrs today and well, I was glad she did. Althought the Man U and Arsehole match ended in a goalless draw, it was still very exciting and literally, full of drama. Arsenal is a team full of whiners and fakers and Man U is a team full of wastrels.

 

Lauren deserved an Oscar nomination. He was knocked on the head but he only felt pain about an hour later when he felt like it.

 

And me...I am the idiot who stayed up till 0600hrs.

 

(emailed)

###

I dont have a resolution!

Wow. It is really 2006. Seriously, when I was younger, I had this feeling that I wouldn’t live beyond 24 years old. But hah..look at me. Turning 2..2..2..2..6..26 soon. A sinking feeling is beginning to develop, I tell you. I’m getting a wee bit depressed.

And there are some people who think I am THAT gay. Right.


Humph.


The “celebration” started on Friday, which saw Dear, CY and her entourage of hubby, 2 guy friends and a girl friend and me at Momo (yeah..I am getting tired of that place, the music). By 0100hrs, I could feel lethargy seeping in. Unbecoming, I know. We lasted for another hour before we surrendered to the night, got out for 100-Plus (me) and headed home after that.

Saturday December 31
It’s my favourite cousin’s birthday. He turned 8 that day. Anyway, I met up with Clara at about 1400hrs and we both checked into Swissotel The Stamford (aka The Westin).



We hung out in the room. She talked while I…watched TV. Yup. I did the “I-am-watching-TV-but-I-am-listenting-to-you”. At about 1700hrs, Weiling came and an hour later, we met Liah at Suntec and had dinner. Our last dinner of the year was at Siam Kitchen. I was sooo hungry (I hadn’t had any food the whole day) I could feel my innards quaking with hunger.

After that, we went for a short window-shopping (sale @ La Senza!!) before retreating back to the hotel at about 2200hrs. we were still deciding what to do : should we just stay in the room? Go out? To where? Argh.


Me? I was contented just lazing in the room and playing the cussing UNO game (taught by Farhana).

But we did go out afterall, we all got “dressy” only to miscalculate the time. At about 2345hrs, I was in my dress and heels…running to the Padang to catch the fireworks. We were at the Queen Elizabeth Walk when the clock struck midnight. We found a great place (on a muddy grass patch) and with sweat running down our butt, we saw the lovely fireworks. It didn’t matter that I my heels were sinking into the mud.

Clara: Distance well-run!
Mona: Yeah yeah…sweat well-shed, right?


Not the actual one. But well, 2006 New Year’s fireworks had got to be the best ones I’ve ever seen in my quarter century life.

From there, we then walked slowly along the crowded City Hall to CHIJMES. We found a spot on the lawn and danced a little. At that point in my life, I was so tired of dancing. Anyway, yeah Xiaxue, there were foreign workers. But we didn’t get ourselves molested because we managed to keep a distance from everybody. That is why we are still very single.

Anyway, they were playing some Latin beats and while I was nonchalantly enjoying it (couldnt show that I was too eager and excited right? I was in a dress, for goodness sake), the rest didn’t quite like it. Liah, Clara and Weiling only perked up a bit when they played a bit of retro. I was so happy when they started playing 70s roller-disco songs. I was doing The Hustle to the girls’ ignorant bewilderment.


What do you fools know!


A Malay boy (read: BOY) wanted to pick Weiling up. He sent his representative to Liah (who was the nearest to them) to ask about Weiling. When the actual intender came to introduce himself to all of us, the first thing Weiling said to him was:

“I AM NOT A MALAY!!!”

Classic. Hahahaha. With Weiling, that’s almost a catchphrase. Malay men go for Weiling. I shall go find my sepet (slit-eyed) Ah Beng.


Sprouts the words of Tagore, can?

Heh.

We left the place at 0200hrs because the girls hated the music soon after. Idiots. Just as they were spinning Groove Armada. We staggered back to the room, chilled out, played my UNO cussing game, ate a bit, drank a bit (well, we had cranberry juice). At 0630hrs, Clara and I were the last ones to sleep.

January 1, 2006

We checked out at 1500hrs and had our first meal at Suntec again before heading home. I was supposed to go Zouk on Sunday but my darling Sharinah was warded in hospital for a high fever. Warded on the first day of the year???!!

Anyway..



By year-end, this guy will soon be replaced. And thanks to Uncle Roland, I am in the running as well. I shall wear a hat full of feathers and sing Guantanamera.


Guajira Guantanamera
Guantanamera
Guajira Guantanamera

Yo soy un hombre sincero
De donde crecen las palmas
Yo soy un hombre sincero
De donde crecen las palmas
Y antes de morir yo quiero
cantar mis versos del alma
Guantanamera ....

Cultivo una rosa blanca
En junio como en enero
Cultivo una rosa blanca
Que me da su mano franca
Y para el cruel que me arranca
El corazon con que vivo
Ni cardas ni ortigas cultivo
Cultivo una rosa blanca
Guantanamera .... - Guantanamera, Celia Cruz

Steven Lim, William Hung…eat your Chinese hearts out.


P/s: Went KTV-ing with Liah and Sha yesterday and I realised Bohemian Rhapsody is a great song to scream to…while jumping on the sofa.

###

New Year New Fear

On New Year's day, i dreamt I slept with Michael Owen. I didnt. I opened my eyes and it was Liah lying "stone-cold" beside me. Anyway, yeah...I dreamt I slept with Owen and then a few hours after waking up, I read he had broken his foot.  Hah. According to Nani, I must have been too rough on his toe.

 

Anyway...more updates later.

 

My voice is still sore from last night's wailing session with Sha and Liah. i couldnt get to sleep after that. My brain was still singing Bohemian Rhapsody 4 hours later.

 

Thunderbolt and lightning

Very very frightening

Gallileo Gallileo

Gallileo Figaro

Magnifico o o o o o o o o

 

(emailed)

 

###