Ed Sheeran's my latest musical crush right now and this song is beautiful.
Having Ron Weasley is a big plus :)
I'm gonna pick up the pieces,
And build a Lego house
When things go wrong
We can knock it down
My three words have two meanings,
There's one thing on my mind
It's all for you
And it's dark in a cold December
But I've got ya to keep me warm
And if you're broken I'll mend ya
And keep you sheltered from the storm
That's raging on
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now
I'm gonna paint you by numbers
And colour you in
If things go right we can frame it
And put you on a wall
And it's so hard to say it
But I've been here before
Now I'll surrender up my heart
And swap it for yours
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now
Don't hold me down
I think my braces are breaking
And it's more than I can take
And if it's dark in a cold December,
but I've got ya to keep me warm
And if you're broken I'll mend ya
And keep you sheltered from the storm
That's raging on
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now - Lego House, Ed Sheeran
Just got wind that I will be sent to Hong Kong in November for a sponsored trip by HK Tourism Board. As this is a work trip, my itinerary will be determined by the sponsors. Not only that, I will be there with a celebrity and his/her family...shadowing them as they are paid to enjoy themselves.
It must be fun to be them. Haha.
I would have been sent to Jogjakarta this Thursday to Saturday but I kind of have made prior plans. I would be meeting Dita Von Teese this Friday and Saturday and therefore, I'd give Indonesia a miss. That's a good thing cause as much as I love Indonesia, meeting Ms Von Teese face to face is a very rare chance.
And she will perform her Martini burlesque dance for me this Saturday.
I took the following picture during one of the NDP rehearsals. I was at Marina Bay Sands chilling when the rehearsal was taking place. Wanted to take picture of the helicopter but the father-son combo was blocking me and I was too lazy to move. So I formed my shot around them.
The result? I kind of like the fact that I can build a story out of this.
Plus, I also like the fact that the setting sun is captured in this shot. I can feel the heat just by looking at it. Can you?
Wow...guess my last rambling took a bit of a toll.
Nothing much has happened. November issue has been closed and relief has seeped in. Not that it will last for long but right now, I'll take it.
It has been a while since I last talked about a movie, hasnt it? I remember I used to give in-depth (well, more than a line or two, that's for sure) review about movies which I had seen, complete with photos and quote-worthy dialogues. Remember those times? Weren't they great? Haha.
But things slowly stopped, yeah? Not that I find it trivial now but somehow, I cant be arsed anymore. Not that I have a bagful of readers anyway. Who am I? Hemmingway?
Pretentious.
Anyway, I saw a few movies lately - The Change-up, Real Steel and Midnight In Paris. Of all three, I enjoyed Real Steel the best. I couldnt even recall what possessed me to watch The Change-up in the first place. I should have known better.
Midnight In Paris was just a Woody Allen's indulgence. He should just stick to the heartaches in New York and not go all pretentious in France. Granted the storyline is good but it seemed like he was hell-bent in showing so many "famous faces" of the 1920s that he forgot to develop what he was so famously known for - witty dialogues and neurosis. The movie, like this blog entry, has so many beau geste but seriously lacks heart.
I blame Facebook and my profession for not doing this often enough. Facebook takes all the fun in posting pictures and my profession...it creates the dread in writing.
Ironic, isnt it?
I thought my passion was writing and when I finally got into this job and company, I thought I had it made. How ignorant of me. I feel like a 21-year old all over again...few months entering my first real job. A job which I thought I had it made back then; a job in the radio.
I guess at 31 and for a perceived over-achiever, I have to eat humble pie. Being criticised and pushed around. It doesnt help that I am not confrontational at all. Though I can make a good soldier, I can never be a master tactician or a strategist. You know why...cause when it comes to the crux, I always chicken out. I get sick to the stomach...I space out and cut off from everything and everyone.
And then...the melancholia sets in. It's all self-induced, really. All our sickness...it's mostly self-induced. My sorrow? Self-induced, cause no one owes my anything.
What I need to do is to have a louder voice telling me to take charge over my body. Dont listen to it when it tells me shut down, to space out or to cut away from things which dont go as plan. Speak up and fight for myself.
I grow up being told by the parents that I was rude,brash and difficult because I argued a lot. I got punished whenever I tried to defend myself. "Act of defiance," they said. So I grew up learning to shut up. Occasionally something would be done in an act of rebellion but ... nah ... seldom a confrontation.
How the hell did I get into this job? Haha.
God always have funny tricks for me.
I get it, God.
You're so funny.
...and now I am rambling.
My sole purpose was to just share a reflection. HAd to cover the marriage of a celebrity last week at a neighbouring country and the wedding, which was held in conjunction with an educational programme on culture, was also complemented with a bridal exhibition at a mall nearby. Plus last Tuesday was Clara's wedding and so...unfortunately to say, I'm slightly OD on weddings.
Anyway, I am rambling again...
So I have this friend whom I've known since I was young and he started to ramble recently about not being married and all that shit. I was so worried that he might suggest us getting together. I think I was over-thinking, perasan even but the thought did come and it made me panic.
I dont know why and how the panic came. I mean, he's a fine person...he has enough limbs and his 5 senses are working. He has no criminal record and he's earning (whatever it is that he's doing) and we do have common interests. Any random person will tell me not to be picky and why not have him as ...(whatever I want him to be, I guess). But the thought of being with him, or with any men send a chill down my spine.
It's 5am.
I am over-thinking.
But allow me to ramble.
People always say that a best partner is one who starts out as a good friend but...I cannot seem to be able to grasp that idea. If you're a friend, then you're a friend. If you're a sex buddy, are you really a friend? I dont know. That's not my point. My point is, how can I be physically close, intimate even, to a friend?
By the way...this is just me.
Men just scare me.
Many times I had to auto shut down my PC or crash close my chat logs with some guys just because I panicked when things got to personal.
Dont get me wrong. I love men and I can imagine all the things I can do to them but they scare the shit out of me when we are not doing all the things I want to do to them (hahaha, are you still with me?).Is this about commitment? Or is it just plain awkwardness? Or high anxiety disorder?
Maybe it's the latter. Or the first. Or everything.
I am not sure if I want a relationship..or a fling..or anything. I dont like complications. Everything becomes complicated in the end and I hate that. It's like A Maths and Accounts. They all started off easy - Algorithms and P/L accounts. Then shit hit the roof later on.
Maybe I havent met someone right. People say when you meet the right person, everything falls into places.
But I'm just afraid that I'll never meet such person because of my cutting-away demeanour, not letting anyone in. But the thing is, I let some people in and they werent pleasant.
It isnt about not being able to let go. I let go...but I dont want it to happen again and again and again.
Ah.
I'll just marry a a TV.
P/S: This is a total waste of your reading time. My apologies.
Was back 5 hours ago with an aching body, no thanks to the massage I got at Tamarind Springs Spa at Koh Samui earlier. I mean, the massage felt good then and the steam bath and cold pool were all awesome but right now, the body is feeling kind of battered. Maybe I shouldnt have chosen the 'firm' kneading techniques and opted for just 'medium'.
Anyway, that's it for Samui. More updates on that later. Right now...I farking need to write this stupid article and then off to Malaysia (Johor) for another work assignment, this time round, a wedding event organised my Malaysian Tourism Board. Will be back in the wee hours of Sunday.
Would love to say what a great "jet-setting" life but...no, it is not and I wouldnt.
Mid September means the start of the US TV season. I miss Koothrapalli :)
The Big Bang Theory Grey's Anatomy Glee Two & A Half Men The New Girl The X-Factor America's Next Top Model The Amazing Race The Big C Modern Family The Idiot Abroad ...etc etc
To anyone who is still reading this blog, if you have noticed, the entry style has changed. No longer wordy entries (well, once in a long while you will find one still) and instead, quick snippets uploaded on the (extremely) smart phone.
How can anyone not like this?
I am in love...with this song.
:(
I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
My neighbours think
I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I have
You're all I have
At night when the stars
Light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the moon
Try to get to you
In hopes you're on
The other side
Talking to me too.
Or am I a fool
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon?
I'm feeling like I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say I've gone mad
Yeah I've gone mad
But they don't know what I know
Cause when the sun goes down
someone's talking back
Yeah
They're talking back
At night when the stars
Light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the moon
Try to get to you
In hopes you're on
The other side
Talking to me too.
Or am I a fool
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon?
Ahh...Ahh...Ahh..
Do you ever hear me calling
I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
A friend was in a financial quandary about 2 months ago and yesterday, another one was in a bigger one. Though I still havent received the loan from the first, I do have enough to sort out the second friend. Guess tomorrow I will pass him the moolah.
And that will reduce the money in my bank to just a 3-digit figure (hey, it could be $100).
I know I should be sincere but hey, I can express my sadness in seeing the number drop, right?
I wish these people dont run away with my money. The amount may be paltry to some but...it's my 'rainy day' money.
Hope my rainy day doesnt come this week or next. Otherwise, I'll drown.
I don't mind smokers but I cant stand some who dont consider the feelings or health of others within their smoking space. If you are smoking at a park, on a ship deck in the open ocean, fine. But if you're smoking in an enclosed area, a small house, a box, dont get pissed when the people around you get pissed.
What? Only you are here? Your smoke comes out from your breath and goes back straight into your nose without being sniffed/inhaled by others? What...you think you're the Marina Barrage of smoke recycling? Bitch, please.
And you're not happy that I sprayed air freshener? At least that thing smells nicer on my clothes, hair and food. Urgh.
It's too much. Thanks to the father, the whole house smells horrid. My lungs are affected too. Deep down, maybe another mild heart attack will stop this.
Though it's the 5th day of Syawal, this is like the 3rd session of going out. Joining my auntie and cousins cause...parents went to Malaysia again to visit Arnie's relatives.
I remembered it, then I found it. First heard it in 2000 and I was so in love with it.
Listening to it made me miss my late aunt. It's the 2nd Hari Raya that she's not with us. On the first day when I say my cousin and uncle, I was reminded of her. How she's sorely missed by all. Such a loving kind soul who's gone way too soon. Some evil ones are made to stay and roam this earth for so long but souls like her, sometimes, went too soon.
Such is God's will.
I miss you, Bibik. You've never come to me in my dreams all this while. Why, Bibik? Everybody said they felt you...dreamed about you. But I have never. Why? Is it because you didnt like me? Is it because I didnt take care of you when you were sick? Is it because you didnt love me as much as you loved the others? Is it because I had done something wrong?
I couldnt see you when you were sick, Bibik, cause I couldnt do it. I didnt want to collapse and scream. Only when you were going through your dying days that I regretted not seeing you as often as I should have. But I was too afraid...a coward. I couldnt see you in pain. Have you ever noticed I never talk to you about it? About your cancer? I wished if we didnt talk about it, it would go away. Many people talked about their time taking care of you at home...chatting with you...but I was not there. My memories were filled of images of a healthier and happier you, times when we were both so close. And when those last days were near, I was brought crashing down to earth to see the image in front of my eyes not the same as the one I perpetually had in my head.
I thought you were invincible, Bibik. At 29, I still had such naive idea.
Had I gotten a little more time with you, I would tell you how much you meant to me.
I would help you achieve things you hadnt achieved.
I would have focused on you, not my running away from your pain.
I wouldnt have been such an emotional coward.
I would have told you how much my life would suck without you.
I would.
I would.
I would.
The sun's still warm and most days are good The world still turns like you said it would But this pain seems to never let me go And there really is no movin' on There's only going along
And I will always be Better for you loving me Better for the times we shared That travel with me everywhere And I will always try To hold my head up to the sky If only just to let you know That straight from my heart I still miss you so
If I could I would gladly trade A thousand tomorrows for one yesterday There are so many things that I would say You're a part of every memory That lives on in me
And I will always be Better for you loving me Better for the times we shared That travel with me everywhere And I will always try To hold my head up to the sky If only just to let you know That straight from my heart I still miss you so
Parents left for JB to visit sister-in-law's family. Was supposed to go visiting with my auntie and cousin but that didnt work out. I managed to go to work, finish an article and send borrowed clothes for last Thursday's photoshoot back to Raoul.
Gonna catch a romantic comedy flick later (so unbecoming!) later but in the meantime...it's Woodstock and lasagna.
Stop asking me about the sister. I have unofficially disowned her. I dont have a sister.
I do have a room mate who takes my stuff and leaves a mess wherever she's around. I seldom see her and maybe if I do see her next, I want to demand my stuff back.
Let me say this again...I dont have a sister. Cause if I have one, I wouldnt have felt so emotionally stressed right now.
It's 3 days to Raya and parents are having cold war. They had a massive fight over the mother accidentally withdrawing some money in their joint account (cause her new debit card linked that acct to mastercard) instead of her own account. She didnt realise the oversight and insisted she didnt know anything about the money and the father...well he went to find the mother at her workplace (my cousin's food stall) and screamed at her in front of everybody.
Where are all my siblings? Obviously the brother is busy with his own life and family. Sister? I dont have a sister.
As they are not talking to each other, like an only child, I am the venting point. I am getting the father's verbal abuse and the mother's emotional blackmail. Every...freaking...time.
Pardon me when I still say that marriage is a scam.
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met
Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of Wonderbread
And went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us
And the Bible didn't mention us
The Bible didn't mention us, not even once
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first , I loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But they're just old light
They're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met
Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light
He told me that I'd done all right
And kissed me until the morning light, the morning light
And he kissed me until the morning light
Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of Wonderbread
And went right back to bed
We couldn't break the columns down
No, we couldn't destroy a single one
And the history books forgot about us
And the Bible didn't mention us
Not even once
Why...why...why in the name of Marvelo Superheroes did I consume that herbal concotion (jamu) given to me by this actor yesterday?
It's 3am and my breath smells like MacRitchie after a downpour. It's saving Gaia in my mouth. Ferngully!
I am running a wellness segment for the October issue and I interviewed the actor cause though he's 51, he looks like he's in his 30s. So last Saturday, we had the interview and the photoshoot (before the Malayasian stars came) and he brought his supplements and veggies/plants. He even brought a sample of his blended weapon (mixture of veggies and plants) for the shoot. He then passed it to me after the shoot for souvenir...and hey!
It's suppose to cleanse the colon and detox. I dont know...just a sip. It' s enough.
"People keep saying, 'Oh, it'll be great to get out of your comfort zone.' " he says. "It's like, 'Fuck you!' Get out of your fucking comfort zone! It fucking took me 20 years to build a comfort zone. I have no fucking intention of stepping outside of mine. Not for no fucker. That's fucking gone! Fucking comfort zone bastard. I'm in the process of building another one and believe you me, I won't be stepping outside of this one."
Shammi Kapoor passed away recently. He was my first Bollywood hero and till today, I havent liked another as much as I like him. He's so vibrant...so flamboyant. A 'jungalee'.
I dont really find Adam Levine sexy. His voice is definitely paper thin, shrill and has that annoying whining aspect about it. But, he's fortunate to always have good tunes to boost whatever he lacks.
Like this one. It's uber infectious. And I dont even like Jagger.
A week of Ramadan has passed. Lost 2kgs. That's nothing compared to the rest of the bulk really.
Anyway, just when I am ready to sit in front of Mandela (the laptop), the home internet connection refuses to hook up. Stupid technology. Therefore, what is supposed to be an extraordinary update (nyeh!)...with epic pictures and all...will not be happening.
Bummer.
Went to catch The Lion King earlier today and omaigart...I was in tears from start to end. I am not a fan of the cartoon because for the love of me, I found it depressing when I first caught it at the cinema. But, Meiling wanted to catch the show at Marina Bay Sands and she actually treated me (cause she knew I wouldnt pay for it I guess) so I went along.
Verdict?
I enjoyed it tremendously but yes, it depressed the shit out of me still. I dont know why...dont ask.
A lot of things happened though many of them were work-related. Work still gives me the jitters even though it has been 2 months. Am trying to see the positive side...though the good thing is that I meet a lot of people.
The bad thing?
I do meet a lot people.
:(
Anyway been getting weird dreams of me getting married. Very disturbing..very bizarre. Let's see how long this gonna run.
No...I am not getting married in real life. The only guy who gets close to me is my graphic designer at work.