Do I miss Lauren?
Do I miss Lauren...not?
Do I?
Do I not?
This is so lame.It's 0406hrs and I should be sleeping considering I have a freaking long day (workshop) down at Orchard Road later. But...I dont want to surrender. My days at home are so short nowadays and urgh, most of the time spent is on the floor.
Anyway, I have just finished clearing the disaster which was on my bed. You see, another reason why I didnt sleep on my bed (apart from couldnt make it there before 100% sleepiness crept in) was that 1/2 of the bed was covered with clothes. Yeah...I dont have time to put everything in my wardrobe and so...the pile just grew and grew. I had to sleep cross-legged. Ridiculous? I show you the pictures soon.
The symposium was a nightmare. It being the first time I've participated in such nonsense, I wasnt really prepared and got the concept all wrong. There I was ready to share my research and findings but then, everyone else talked about methods and other technical aspects they faced while doing their researches.
So all my preparations was in vain and in the 11th hour, I changed the manner and speech that I had to say. When it was my turn, I cooked a whole lot of cock and bull story about doing research, on sports, on global phenomenon, on pop culture, on travels ... it was amazing that people still clapped for me at the end of it. The last time I checked, my voice was audibly quivering.
Oh, it really didnt help my ego to know that most of the uni reps were talking about their PhD thesis and research. Ph-fucking-D leh! I glared at my boss for bringing me into this mess, for making me feel so inadequate. PhD...I just have a shitty degree. Dammit.
It didnt help also that I didnt sleep the day before..or the day before before (Thursday). It's not insomnia. I could sleep but I had to stay awake to do work and some symposium stuff.
The symposium was over around 1330hrs and the uni reps invited Idaho and I to lunch at an Indian restaurant nearby. One of the reps, a pretty woman, asked me something.
Rep: So what the things that you want to do? You have done so many things already.
Ed: Hmmm...I really dont know.
Rep: Oh come on! Am sure you've got some plans!
Ed: At this moment, not really. I've done what I've always wanted to do - be in radio, write, teach, do social work...hmmm, can't think of anything else, really.
Rep: Hmm yeah, you have covered a fair bit considering you're only 28. You have learnt a lot of things.
Ed: But I'm a master of none! Haha!
Rep: Nah...so nothing else ya?
Ed: Haha I can die happy, cant I?
Rep: Sure you can!
Ed: Wait.
Rep: Yea?
Ed: I can be a florist.To say that I just want to travel the world didnt cross my mind.
Never mind.
After lunch, I went back to the office (1500hrs on a class-less Saturday!) and began to surf. Surfed for graduate programmes in Singapore and honestly, nothing anywhere caught my eye. How....don't tell me I have to go overseas again to pursue it?
Another uni rep asked me to go Liverpool John Moores Uni for my masters. Tempting but I really not feeling the course - some Internet and Comms thingy. When I told him I was more interested in films and advertising, philosophy/sociology and stuff, he turned and said:
"Films? But what can you do after that??"
Wah lao! A lot okay! Like being a more appreciative person? One with more empathy and knowledge? Just because I am not into your nonsense doesnt mean I cannot survive, okay?! Pompous academic. He cant even say the words "change" and "film" correctly. Anyway, what I want to pursue is seriously none of your business...unless you are thinking of sponsoring me.
At 1700hrs, I gave up. I still had no idea where to go and what to do for my grad education. I packed up and headed to Borders, planning to meet Meiling later to catch a show instead. She got some discount and we ended up paying only $4.50 each.
THE BUCKET LIST comes off a bit cheesy but if one immerses oneself completely and go beyond the schmaltz, it's so bittersweet. It's quite predictable but ah, Rob Reiner always succeeds in pulling heartstrings and drawing tears and laughs at the same time (
When Harry Met Sally, The Princess Bride, Alex and Emma, Stand By Me, Rumour Has It...).
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Carter Chambers: Tell me how it's different.
Edward Cole: I build a billion dollar business up from NOTHING! Presidents have asked my advice, I have dined with royalty, and i'm supposed to make out like what? This trip was supposed to MEAN something to me? Like it was gonna change ME? How did you see it playing out Carter, I knock on the door, she answers, she's surprised and angry, but I tell her how much I love her and miss her, and OH, by the way, I'm gonna be dead soon so I'm reaching out to you because I don't wanna die alone?
Carter Chambers: Everyone's afraid to die alone.
Edward Cole: I'm not everyone! This was supposed to be fun. That's all it ever was.
...
Edward Cole: Here's something to remember when you're older Thomas - never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.
Thomas: I'll remember that when I start "decrepitating" sir.
...
Carter Chambers: Even now I cannot understand the measure of a life, but I can tell you this. I know that when he died, his eyes were closed and his heart was open. And I'm pretty sure he was happy with his final resting place, because he was buried on the mountain. And that was against the law.
...
Edward Cole: The simplest thing is... I loved him. And I miss him. Carter and I saw the world together. Which is amazing... When you think that only three months ago, we were complete strangers! I hope that it doesn't sound selfish of me but... the last months of his life were the best months of mine. He saved my life... And he knew it before I did.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxI have never liked Jack Nicholson cause..erm..I dont like his over-the-top acting. Maybe the images of him being Joker really scared me silly. But Morgan Freeman is understated as usual, and still manage to press his presence to the front. His son acts as his son (hah) in this show and it's always nice to see real-to-reel bonding.
Morgan Freeman is always playing the voice of reason/God/narration and he does it again this time with
The Bucket List. He doesnt suck so yeah...he can play God until the day he dies and it still doesnt matter.
The Bucket List starts out cheesy but it progresses into a masterpiece. Maybe it's because the mise-en-scene of the film plays a big part. Yeah, at the end of the show, many were left with teary eyes,including yours truly ... mascara running and all. Considering that after 2 days of no-sleep, I was still very much awake thruought the show. That meant something.
So yeah...watch this before you..err..kick the bucket. Philosophy, baby.
After watching this, I am really looking forward to New York with my 3 friends. I wish all the others can come along. We'll paint NYC red, blue and white, I tell you.
Sunday morning saw Meiling and I to another movie screening (free). But I shall leave it for tomorrow. It's almost 0500hrs and I need to wake up soon.
To do that, I need to go to bed.
A thousand times goodnight, tree huggers.
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