UK 5th Day Caper

Congrats to Sahriah..for being an auntie for the second time.



You are 'Regularly Metric Verse'.

This can take many forms, including heroic couplets,
blank verse, and other iambic pentameters, for
example. It has not been used much since the
nineteenth century; modern poets tend to prefer
rhyme without meter, or even poetry with
neither rhyme nor meter.

You appreciate the beautiful things in life--the
joy of music, the color of leaves falling, the
rhythm of a heartbeat. You see life itself as
a series of little poems. The result (or is it
the cause?) is that you are pensive and often
melancholy. You enjoy the company of other
people, but they find you unexcitable and
depressing. Your problem is that regularly
metric verse has been obsolete for a long time.

What obsolete skill are you?
Quiz by Quizilla.

Aye aye.

I think i am coming down with something. My sinus is acting up really bad and I cant sleep well. Ting said I snored last night..so sorry yeah.

Am at University of Brighton again today...at a different lab now. Grace is having class so I tag along. Packed one of my bags this morning. I am so doomed. I cant stuff everything inside my 2 bags and best..my vacation is still not over! Bloody fungus!

It is going to be a tragic comedy later in the evening. I will be carrying 2 big backpacks, one Thai monk slingbag and a paperbag containing shoes for Ting's brother and my sister. How am i going to carry all these to the bus station...I have no idea. Will have to lug all these to Manchester. I will reach there on Friday morning at 0500hrs (UK time..S'pore time 1200hrs) and Ting and i will groggily make our way to the hotel. Then we will go for the Old Trafford tour later on Friday.


And the match on Saturday. Then London..then Thailand..then sunny..no..blazing Singapore.


"I think i like you a little bit." - Lulu @ Moscow State Circus

What the...


We went to catch the Moscow circus yesterday at Preston Park..haha..damn cheesy..damn gypsy. As usual, i was more excited than the little kid we brought (Lulu - Ting's boss' daughter). Well, I am a big kid, lah. What can I say..it is not my fault.



Walked home and stopped at Lulu's fish and chips shop to get dinner and went home to have one of the best fish and chips i've ever tasted. Caught a bit of The 'L' Word on the lappie and then Desperate Housewives after that - which showed an episode one month ahead of that in Singapore.

Okay I think Grace is coming any moment now. Then I guess we will go back..maybe i will have a final walk around this neighbourhood.

Manchester, here we come!

But first, this is for all of you. From me, who is going mad with the thoughts of YG.

You may be an ambassador to England or France
You may like to gamble, you might like to dance
You may be the heavyweight champion of the world
You may be a socialite with a long string of pearls

You may be a state trooper, you might be a young Turk
You may be the head of some big TV network
You may be rich or poor, you may be blind or lame
You may be living in another country under another name

You may be a preacher with your spiritual pride
You may be a city councilman taking bribes on the side
You may be workin' in a barbershop, may know how to cut hair
You may be somebody's mistress, may be somebody's heir

Might like to wear cotton, might like to wear silk
Might like to drink whiskey, might like to drink milk
You might like to eat caviar, you might like to eat bread
You may be sleeping on the floor, sleeping in a king-sized bed

You're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You're gonna have to serve somebody.
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody - Gotta Serve Somebody, Bob Dylan

Let it be the Lord, people. Let it be the Lord.

No..Not the Sith!

###

wednesday caper

My nose and stupid sinus is making me damn uncomfortable. Every morning here in Brighton, I wake up with a stuffy-one-moment-running-one-moment nose. It will only be ok when I get in the open. Bugger.

I am in University of Brighton right now. Ting is at work and she messaged me that it wouldn’t be nice for me to be at home alone and she asked me to go to school with Grace.

Anyway...she has finished her class..so yeah. i'm ghost.

###

man..

Thanks ting and grace for the meal...the dinner was yummy!

4th day in Brighton

You are Proverbs.

Which book of the Bible are you?


Tuesday 3 May (UK)
It is my 4th day here and well, it was a day of self-entertainment. Ting left the house for work at about 0800hrs and me..i left at about 0900hrs. I was lost somewhere at Churchill Square because i couldnt find the bus stop which i wanted to go. As i was helplessly roaming, i saw a bus which had the word SEAFORD but it wasnt #712 as Ting said. Instead it was #12. oh what the hell..i ran after the bus and got on it gingerly.

The journey was about 30minutes and the bus went along the coastline - Rottingdean, Newhaven, Bishopstone and eventually Seaford. At Seaford, I spent an hour at this small store and bought some stuff for my 3 little cousins. headache i tell u...i lingered at every aisle holding something..putting it back...holding something..putting it back.

On the bus, i was just soaking in the scenery...with 2 songs keep on ringing in my head - Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter and Radiohead's No Surprises.

Then i made my way to the sea...freezing my tits off as i walk along. My destination is the Cliff Edge and the Martello tower and stuff. Look at the photo below. This was taken obviously some time back...the cliff is now shredded to a few sections. but just now, i climb to the highest one. My tits almost dropped off and my nose was about to take flight...my hair? all over the place!


The town of Seaford is a quiet seaside resort in East Sussex, U.K. It is located on the foot of the South Downs, a range of hills stretching from Winchester to Eastbourne. It is a great place to have a break.

It felt awesome. Although the climb was tedious and the path was pebble-y, my Havaianas served me well. The howling wind (with me in just a black tshirt with a knitted cardi) was a great accompaniment to the 2 songs in my head. i felt like a hobbit climbing Middle Earth. i wanted to scream "I am the King of the world" but well...i was instead tensing myself up clutching to my bag and camera because i was afraid they would fly away. The seagulls, crows and what-have-yous were all over my head...i stood there overlooking the sea, overlooking France. it was majestic...but brrrrrrr...fucking cold.

i climbed down...it was 1200+hrs. Stumbled upon an antique store,,all the things i bought for others..now i want them for myself. anyway went back to Brighton...bought some stuff and here i am back at chez Grace.

ok ok...Chelsea versus Liverpool now. later.

###

Waterloo sunset here..

Dirty old river, must you keep rolling
Rolling into the night
People so busy, make me feel dizzy
Taxi light shines so bright
But I don't need no friends
As long as I gaze on Waterloo Sunset
I am in paradise
Every day I look at the world from my window
Chilly chilliest evening time
Waterloo sunset's fine

Terry meets Julie, Waterloo Station
Every Friday night
But I am so lazy, don't want to wander
I stay at home at night
But I don't feel afraid
As long as I gaze on Waterloo Sunset
I am in paradise
Every day I look at the world from my window
Chilly chilliest evening time
Waterloo sunset's fine

Millions of people swarming like flies
`Round Waterloo underground
Terry and Julie cross over the river
Where they be safe and sound
And they don't need no friends
As long as they gaze on Waterloo Sunset
They are in paradise - Waterloo Sunset, The Kinks

yeah..i have finally been to the Waterloo underground. Did I meet Terry and Julie? Yes, i think i have.

It's my 3rd day here in England. Today we were supposed to go to Bruges, Belgium but the drivers were on some protest or something. So Ting brought me around the sea town of Brighton. We went to Devil's Dyke at some part of West Sussex. Freaking beautiful.


Naturally formed, this deep dry valley is a popular venue for outdoor sports. Fantastic views greet the traveller who make their way up the road to the Iron Age promontory fort, which consists of a single rampart with an external ditch. In Victorian times, there was a cable car across the valley, which legend says was dug by the devil in an attempt to allow the sea to engulf the many churches that exist in the area.

yeah yeah.

Then..we went back to the main town area and did some walk around, checking out what stores they have - Dorothy Perkins! and well, i was glad to discover Boots...the best toiletry store i have ever been.

Oh well..

I am actually kind of sleepy. Ting said i have been sleeping alot. maybe deep down i am still jet lag, still tired from the manic 1-day London tour and the travelling. Maybe it is the simple fact that i am on holiday and that it is bloody nice weather to sleep in. mentioning the weather...it is sunny but the wind is ..sheesh..blowing strong. Anyway, just let me sleep....I have been deprived of sleep for so long. And for the past 3 days, i have not thought of work. i will start thinking of work later, once SNP resumes working mode.


This, guys..is the Tower Bridge. I thought it is called The London Bridge but i was god damn wrong. London Bridge is quite a dingy structure.

Ok it is dinner time.

###

London Calling

time now in london is 2350hrs, sunday, 1 may 2005.

I touched down at Heathrow Airport at 1830hrs .. fucking tired and all pissed-up. i was holding my pee for 12 foing hours because the two ang moh guys sitting beside me were beautiful sleeping and i was too chicken to wake them up.

cut the story short, i stayed at Vicky's place in london. she is grace's friend and well, she saved us the trouble of staying somewhere else. so, thank u vicky. then on sunday (today), i had a crazy but fun time with ting runnning around london. we saw the changing of the freaking guards, the dirty river Thames, the london eye, the westminster abbey, the big ben, the parliament house, buckingham palace, st james park, harrods, oxford street, tower bridge (which is THE bridge...not the ugly London Bridge), trafalgar square and many others i really cant remember now.

all right..i am kind of dehydrated still. that reminds me..Thai Airlines is kinda squeezy. maybe next time, if i WERE to take Thai airlines for a flight more than 10hours, remind me to get a business class seat. humph!

okay...tomorrow, i shall travel around brighton. weather's great..it is chilly at night tho but it's great. been curbing spending however... i bought a Manic Street Preachers pictorial book and LOLITA book at HMV and a Blondie Greatest Hits and Madness Greatest hits at the Virgin store. Was tempted to get a couple of England jerseys/tshirts but nah...let me just wait.

all right...the walk to gracie's place is challenging. see how again tomorrow.

a thousand times goodnight, harrod-ians.

###

Leaving on a jet plane...

Hey guys..

Time now is 0725hours. I have already checked in and waiting for the bloody gate to open. My dad sent me here and we had a "kopitiam" breakfast. He made me eat a soft-boiled egg which right now doesnt sit too pretty in my stomach.

I am heading to Bangkok..2 hours. After that, I am heading to Heathrow, London. Hope the journey goes well. Hope my backpack which i have checked in and was unabled to lock be all right and not be tampered with. You know what i mean.

Ting, hope i can meet you smoothly without any glitches. Guys take care.

My colleagues...sigh. Work goes on.

My dad is right now at the viewing gallery...as always, calling me and asking me to "report strength". Ayah, I am still here at the airport! But I love you.

Okay...I am excited. I am nervous. I started packing at 0100hrs last night. Guess what? I finished by 0230hrs. Terror, kan? As for Queen E, ahhhhhhhhh... who cares.

Sorry Nek.

Maybe I can add another entry in Bangkok. I've got to go.

Have a good weekend, guys.

Love,
Mona

England vindaloo mania

i am knocking off in about 30mins.

i dont know why but i am starting to have butterflies in my stomach...feeling nervous and twitchy as hell.

i am tying up loose ends here at work.

i think work is driving me nuts and the thought of vacationing for 2 weeks is close to being crazy.

have i forgotten to do something?

another reason to panic...i havent packed. fucking shit.

see u guys in England.

until then, a thousand good night, do-gooders.

###

NBSS Speech Day

But first, more on the weather.

The heat is making my hair all frizzy, wild and unmanageable. Because my hair is dry like twigs, I am so paranoid that it will catch fire and…



I woke up at 0740hrs to an irritating phone ring. It was Meiling, who was already waiting for me at the MRT station. Holy cow! I was late! I was late! Argh!

Met her at Yishun at 0830hrs and we rushed to Northbrooks. Luckily we managed to get there by 0845hrs, 15mins before the parade. We went over to the squad, which was commandeered by Fulong. My kids, though perspiring like crazy, all looked so smart in their usual blues. Then ML and I took our seats and got ready to catch the ceremony.


Volatilis Tamen Radicalis.

My kids were the first group to march out and I daresay, the best. Great coordination, great strides, all in unison. I was so proud. My only wish now is that we be the Guards-of-Honour next year. We show the rest that we are kick-assed qualified.

And oh, with great pleasure I am announcing that Northbrooks Secondary School Unit has won bronze for the Overall Unit Proficiency Award. My alma mater Mayflower Sec took almost 10 years to get that award and NBSS got it in its 6th year. Needless to say, I am very very overjoyed.

Oh I got a Friends Of The School Award just now. For building a strong NPCC unit. Aisey.


And no…I still haven’t packed.


By the way, HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY, BABSY..BESTY, PETSY..BETSY! Thai dinner with the gang(bang?) tonight and after that, they want to go singing and drinking. Me? Go home and pack. I've got a flight to catch at 0800hrs.

Later.

###

This is Lauren, sitting in for Mona:

"I am fuming. What the fuck do you take me for? It started out of curiosity and then the silliness of youth took over. Just when I want to clean up my act, you want to mess it up again? You know how hard to keep away? It's fucking hard!"

Been having an itchy throat and phlegm-y cough

You scored as Athletic Tomboy. Athletic Tomboy 69% Hippy 56% Nerdy Girl 56% Popular Bitch 50% Slut 44% Goth 25% Loser 13% Preppy Girl 13% What type of girl are you?!! created with QuizFarm.com

The day has been going on fine. Clean up Dr Kwa’s article..which has Ruth’s scribblings all over it. Headache! I am left with a day to create some YG wonder. I think I may have to bring them to London with me. Fine… I can do it at some park or something.

What? Constantine Moroulis is out? WTF!

Honestly, I am both excited and nervous about the London trip. Mixed feelings, really. All I know, it is going to be one memorable journey.

Last night was impromptu but hilarious. Met nani and jay at borders and we went to lido for dinner. Mail then joined us and followed by sha. For something planned very last night, it was good. We talked about love and life and at about 2200hrs we all went into nani’s car, which was parked at borders, and continued our crap. We laughed till our bellies ache. Partly jason’s fault. His grasp of obscene malay words are ..hahahaha..appallingly good.



Took the train and reached home close to midnight. Ah fuck. Grandma is still here! Mom told me that she will be staying for 1-2 weeks. I am so glad I am actually going away. Downside is that..how am I going to pack? So I came home, and watched American Idol. Only to fall asleep. Next thing I knew, it was already 0630hrs..the tv was still on, the door was still ajar and I was still in my specs and dirty clothes.

Wah lao eh!

CY said we cannot read her blog because we are not mature enough. Well, you know what..whatever lah woman. But remember, these immature ones were the ones who went clubbing with you.

My point? I don’t have one. Hahaha.

Oh girlfriend. Go for the operation. It may be benign and small and stuff. But I guess taking it out may prevent further complications. I was so shocked when you initially told me. But hey, I am here ya. I can always talk about stuff with you. Go for the operation ok?

Please?

We have come to this stage in our lives where we have to tackle real and worthy issues. Well I guess this is growing up.

Your knuckles whiten on the wheel
The last thing that your hands will feel
Your final flight can't be delayed
No land just sky it's so serene
Your pink fat lips let go a scream
You fry and melt I love the scene

Sometimes I fantasize
When the streets are cold and lonely
And the cars they burn below me
Don't these times fill your eyes
When the streets are cold and lonely
And the cars they burn below me
Are you all alone ?
Is anybody home ?

I'm standing warm against the cold
Now that the flames have taken hold
At least you left your life at style
And for as far as I can see
Tin twisted grills grin back at me
Bad money dies I love the scene

Sometimes I fantasize
When the streets are cold and lonely
And the cars they burn below me
Don't these times fill your eyes
When the streets are cold and lonely
And the cars they burn below me
Are you all alone ?
Are you made of stone - Made Of Stone, Stone Roses

S$1000 = 317 Pound Sterling. ARGH!!!! Oh..I am not going to Belgium already. Bad case of bus agency having a conflict with drivers. Man...but heh, it's ok. We are going to catch Moscow Circus instead.

BodyCombat® later. But first, I need to collect my air ticket.

Later.

###

The rage with Queen E

Such unfairness!

Oh well.

I was shopping for B’s presents yesterday (didn’t go gym, hah!) when I got an sms from my sis telling me that my grandma came. That killed my mood totally. I planned to pack my bags and stuff last night but I couldn’t because Queen Elizabeth was here, paying her lowly citizens a visit.

HUMPH!

I called Sharinah and arranged for dinner at 2200hrs at S11. She passed me the bag and I made her stay till 2350hrs. I just dreaded going home. When I finally came home, which was mainly because I needed to take a dump, I stepped into my fucking stuffy room (Queen E doesn’t like to open the windows) and there she was on my bed. I remembered I had clothes and some stuff on my bag. I was damn furious to know that she just anyhow chucked them into my wardrobe.


The thing about me…I clear the clothes over the weekends. I hate people opening my wardrobe. Plus, I prefer to take my time arranging my clothes according to colour.

As I groped my way in the dark (didnt want to switch on the lights because she was resting) and getting ready for my shower, she was complaining how thin my mattress was, how her back was aching, how the metal bed frame is hurting her body. I was like “Ah, ya..” What could I fucking say? “Orbi kwek! Who ask you to come?” Well it was very close.

I took a damn long time showering…washing my undergarments because I didn’t want my grandma to comment that I have laundry in my loo. Anyway, I came out and she was still complaining – about the bed, the mattress, her legs, my cramped room..whatever. I was so fed up. I got my clothes went out and never came in. I didn’t pack my bags, I didn’t sleep on my bed (duh) and I didn’t even take my pillows. I took some chair cushions and made my crib on the sofa.

This morning, I woke up to her yakking. Seeing her sitting in front of me in the living room got me seething with anger. I don’t know why I was so pissed. My sister happened to be showering in my loo and I started to rant and rave asking her to get out because I wanted to shower.

I guess I am selfish. But if someone keeps on dissing how small your house is, how things in your house are not working properly, how messy your room is, how your parents are not good parents, how like this and how like that..i don’t think you like that person either.

My grandma once said she wouldn’t want to come to my house if she could. Why is her sorry ass here then?

My sister told me she came all the way from Mak Ngah’s house in Simei. That was silly because Queen E stays with my youngest auntie in Tampines and it was much nearer to go back to Tampines from Simei. Apparently, my youngest auntie couldn’t fetch her (must be busy or tired) back to Tampines. She merajuk and took a cab to AMK. Then when she was downstairs, she called my sister to pick her up. I guess Queen E just needs some attention. But argh!

My dad will get pissed at her rich-woman-whining. He will be pissed with everyone else and usually my mom will get the brunt of it. My mom will lash out at the kids and we fucking got highly pissed. Then everybody will start quarrelling in front of her..and Queen E will complain that we are always quarrelling. Chee bye!

God why god? Why?

I may be forgiving but it’s hard to forget what Queen E said to me last time. She said I shouldn’t study so well and continue my studies because my parents were god damn poor. I remember that. I remember that until I die.

Yes we are poor. Yes we have the smallest house. Yes our flat is incomplete with many things. Yes we sometimes go hungry. But we are happy where we are and what we do. At least we are not as dys-fucking-functional like your other children and their families. Plus I don’t think your other grandchildren give you “ang pow”..except my brother and I (maybe Shahrin too)…or if they care to entertain you at all. The rest don’t even want to see you.




Really, it is all karma. Where did your wealth go? Where are your friends? Next time, don’t be snooty. Treat everyone with respect especially your only daughter-in-law. Trust me. She will be there to clean your cold stiff body when your time runs out. Your son and his son will be the one carrying you to your grave after you squeeze his Medisave dry,

Me? I will be there supporting my mom, my dad and my brother.

Lord knows, maybe I will die before you and this wont happen. Old woman, I am sorry for the harshness. But you know this is just talk. I even defended you when my dad got super-pissed with you. The thing is, I just cant bring myself to love you.


###

I'm a little bit country..and a little bit rock and roll

You belong in London A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well. What City Do You Belong in?

Is it, really? Does London offer everything? Everything that I want?

###

Love oddity

Stupid. I forgot to lug the yoga mat with me today.

GUESS WHO was ok. Safe and harmless.Could be better. 6/10

Honestly, I haven’t done much work these couple of days. My brain has already shut down last week and now, it is slowly making its way to England already. Maybe it is now hovering above the Indian Ocean. I blame the end of CPDD period. YG is only good as a hobby – something to kill time. It is not an 8-hour SAP-charged kind of crap.



PK came back from Malacca and she gave us those fish satay thingies (those brown sweet things on a stick) and I told her I didn’t eat them. She laughed at me. So did hsuenwei and liping. Whaaaaaat.. I really cant stand their smell and taste. I am not like you people. I don’t eat anything and everything.

Other things I don’t consume:
- Japanese food - no cold rice, seaweed, raw fish, wasabe, whatever
- Seaweed, squids, calamaris, cuttlefish, jellyfish, octopus, raw oysters
- Pork/ any kind of alcoholic stuff (tiramisu, rum & raisin included)
- Brinjals, lady’s fingers (or whoever’s fingers), bittergourds, petais
- Babat and all the offals
- Salmon (unless you guarantee that I can taste no river/stream/lake)
- Red colour fish – like red herring, etc
- The fish in fish curry (I like fish..but fish curry…not really)
- Fish head, chicken & duck head, prawn head-all kinds of *ahem* heads
- Snails, escargots, croc, frog, dog, monkey and other exotic food
- Those preserved green chillies (those you eat with noodles)
- Pumpkin soup (the grossest thing in the world)
- Anything vegetarian..unless they are Italian or Mediterranean

Fussy eater? Na li you..

You can say that I'm one curly fry in the box of the regular
Messing with the flavor oh the flavor that you savor
Saving me for last but you better not eat me at all
Living in a fast food bag making friends with the ketchup and salt
People say that I'm crazy for not moving on to better things
Instead I'm sitting around trash talking with the onion rings
But it's much too soon to leave this easy life
Pass me the spoon pass the analytical knife

Cause you’re about to get cut and get cut down
It's all about the wordplay
All about the sound in the tone of my voice
You gotta let me make my choice alone before my food gets cold
Better shut up or get shot down
It's all about the know how all just a matter of taste
Stop telling me the way I gotta play
Too much food on my plate

Well if you are what you eat
In my case I'll be sweet
So come and get some
I'm so over it

Now you’re about to get cut and get cut down
It’s all about the know how all just a matter of taste
Stop telling me the way I gotta play
Too much food on my plate
Get up and get some
There's too much food on my plate - Too Much Food, Jason Mraz

‘Nuff about food already!

Girlfriend, it is really up to you. We can say a thousand and one things for and against him but ultimately, it is what you feel deep deep down that matters. Of course I hope your relationship can last until the end of time because I know he is a nice person who is very clueless.

You know, many people end up asking what happened to the girl or boy whom they hooked up with or get married to. I guess changes in a person are inevitable – for better or worse. You have to decide if you can deal with the changes or not. We always have this notion that we can change a loved one. How many of us will succeed? How many of us will fail? Okay I am way off-tangent.

Girlfriend, if the good outweighs the bad, I think you should work on it still. After 3 years, I think you can picture the life you are going to have if you are to be with him forever. Picture him staying with you, picture him as a husband, a father, a pillar of strength, a friend, a companion to grow old with. You may think these are all too far-fetched..i don’t know, if you can see something good, perhaps you can still work on it.

We are all bogged down with fears, love and new ideas.

Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on
Ground Control to Major Tom
Commencing countdown, engines on
Check ignition and may God's love be with you

Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Lift off
This is Ground Control to Major Tom
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare

"This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today
For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do

Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles
I'm feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much she knows"

Ground Control to Major Tom
Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you....

"Here am I floating round my tin can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do." - Space Oddity, David Bowie

The saddest song I’ve ever heard.

hello!!! hello!!

hello shpanky..

heh. pls don't be shocked. u can delete this afterwards. hope the template looks okie now. i took the liberty to take out those blogger ads that always appear on top of the page too.

don't bang ur head too much in the office yeah. bye shpanky *waggles hand under chin*

your friend,
buckwheat

Dont blame this sleeping satellite

”Smoke on the water…fire in the sky.”

I really love internet radio..i get my classic rock, Brit rock and country fixes there. Man, now my CD collection seems so lame.

My body is kind of aching. Hit the beach @ Sentosa with Nani and Sha yesterday and well, it was a beautiful day! We left the island at 1900hrs and went for dinner at the coffee shop. Tired, but contented.

Money money money money money money. If you grow on trees, I will make a plantation, somewhere somehow.

Ting says Bruges may be cancelled because of some contract problems with the drivers. My my…Sad that I cant get Belgium chocs (or the chance to step into Belgium) but glad that I can save the dough. Ah, life is full of gives-and-takes.

Collecting my ticket on Thursday evening. I haven’t packed. Need to find that Tatonka bag in the store. Think I bring my pair of Havaianas, sports shoes and err..my Converse sneakers. A pair of jeans…my cargoes, tshirts and most importantly, my Manchester United jersey.

Anyone willing to lend me a discman?


I blame you for the moonlit sky
And the dream that died with the eagles flight
I blame you for the moonlit nights
When I wonder why are the seas still dry?
Don't blame this sleeping satellite

Did we fly to the moon too soon?
Did we squander the chance?
In the rush of the race
The reason we chase is lost in romance
And still we try to justify the waste
For a taste of man's greatest adventure

I blame you for the moonlit sky
And the dream that died with the eagles flight
I blame you for the moonlit nights
When I wonder why are the seas still dry?
Don't blame this sleeping satellite - Sleeping Satellite, Tasmin Archer

Maggie May..

Woke up late on Saturday. Was supposed to meet Meiling at 0700hrs at the MRT but I WOKE UP at 0700hrs instead. Took a super-swift shower (not really very “cleaning”, I guess) and was out in good 30mins (considering I hadn’t packed, lah!).

Reached NBSS at 0820hrs…and managed to grab a quick breakfast before changing into the thin and faded blue uniform. The day was getting very hot and there I was at 0900hrs screaming my head off. And sweating my ass off.

Oh well.

It was the NCOs’ last parade. Jie Min was chosen as the Best Unit Cadet this time round and even though I wasn’t into Ms Lee’s plan of just giving one BUC award, I realised no other NCOs deserved that honour too. Maybe Hasnan but well, he was always occupied with rugby and he didn’t put in extra stuff outside NP hours.

Anyway, the kids had their last parade performance at 1200hrs (God, smack in the middle of the day, under the hot sun!@#%#$%^) and they put up a fancy drill show. They already had this sad look on their faces and me? Well, I was getting teary as usual. Miss Lee, Mr Ng and I then went around, shaking their hands and hugging them. I always hate this part of passing out parades. I have been an instructor since 1997 and god, how many cadets have I hugged and pacified? Countless! Do I sound like a paedophile here?

So yeah..it was quite a sad affair. After that, Meiling and I invited the NCOs and the officers to a sort of pizza lunch. ML had ordered the pizzas earlier and we had some sort of a lunch gathering in the canteen. Last year, I treated the graduating batch to ice-cream at Swensen’s...thank God I have ML to share with me this time round.



At 1430hrs, ML accompanied me to Toa Payoh. I met Ting’s mom at Old Chang Kee and got a bundle of tonic/herbal soups and stuff she had gotten for Ting. I hope I don’t crush them all. I think I will just hand-carry them.

I was thinking…maybe I can ask for an upgrade. Maybe I can speak in Thai.

After that, ML and I braved the heat and made our way to Beach Road – Army market. Finally got my belt though it offset me $12..oh well. Damn bo pian.. Got back at 1730hrs++ and I was tired, dehydrated and sun-fatigued. Took a shower, clean up my room..have dinner and went out to meet CY and Dear at 2230hrs for ChinaBlack. Hehehe…

It was fun. Now I see CY in a different light. She looks like a bookworm..you know the decent stay-at-home kind of chick. But well, she outdanced, outplayed and outlasted both Dear and I. By 0230hrs I was delusional from fatigue and dehydration..and there she was wriggling and squirming still. Respek, beb!

Oh the two Malay guys (bartenders) who were dancing on the bar top were ..my my..hot. Though they looked a bit gay-ish but I don’t know..they just looked hot. Maybe I was hallucinating. They took off their shirts and ooooh the abs were %@^%@&*&%^&#%H$%power-licious! The other bartenders were pouring ice cold water on them…and they were sprayed with mist. One even pulled down his pants and flashed his black brief-clad bum to the crowd. He then slid on the bar top (like how you would slide a glass of beer on the bar top)…all wet and wild. Woohoo!!

By 0330hrs, we were out and parked ourselves in front of 7-11 at Ngee Ann City.. replenishing our fluids. Finally reached home close to 0500hrs. By 1000hrs Sunday, I was up.

But that’s another story.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh..this Friday I am invited to NBSS for its speech day and on top of that, I will be getting an award for being a FRIEND OF THE SCHOOL…I think it is for my 5 years of service. Yup 5 years…even when I was studying in uni, I would come back during my holidays and help out. I cant help it. I really love doing what I do.

This May…I might be going to Endau Rompin with the unit. 28-30th May I think. See how. But I am dying to go,







I don’t know who these people are…but if I can go to Endau Rompin, I will experience what they had experienced.To Ooi Ping Chuin, I am using your photos as references. If you mind, just get back to me and i will take them out.

Please please let me go.

Possible May line-up.

May 1 – 9: England
May 14 – 15: Le Meridien Changi Hotel (t.b.c)
May 21 – 23: Tioman @ Johor-Pahang
May 28 – 30: Endau Rompin @ Johor-Pahang
May 31 – June 2: Adventure Training Camp @ Pulau Ubin

Crazy but…WOOHOO!
But of course…I will have to eat grass, moss, rainwater, weed, dust, air while doing all these things. I should start practising now. Oh, it’s time to train intensively now. Ting, I think (Ting..think..haha) I will spend my days jogging in Brighton. I need to build up stamina in order to rock and mountain climbing in Endau Rompin.

Friday night's awrite

Uh huh. Just like Wayne Rooney, I think I am having “dead legs” now.

A sweetly crazy weekend had I and ah, I wish it could last forever. And ever. Forever ever. But then again…maybe not.

Friday saw Bets, Dear, CY and me heading to the EC beach after work. There was still light when we jumped into the sea and by the time we came out, I could barely see anything. It was the first time I swam in the sea at night, with just blackness surrounding me. IT came late and didn’t join us in the sea. I think she was sleeping back on the shore. Anyway, we had dinner at around 2100hrs, taking our own sweet time finishing our scrumptious meal.



Yes yes..replace the people in the picture with shots of us and well, what you get? Post-dinner activity! Hahaha, we headed to the games arcade after dinner..on the pretext of playing Daytona. But when we got there, somehow CY (ya, it’s you!) managed to get me onto the machine (it was my 2nd time trying..the first time I danced on that god damn thing was on 10th Sept 2002) and we started to dance and failed miserably. Ok, I failed miserably. CY was quite a pro!

After that, IT went home and the 4 of us continued crapping till 0200++hrs. Was getting tired by then…we cab-pooled and I concussed when I reach home. NPCC in 4 hrs’ time.

Your Life Path Number Is 3

Your Life Path is one that emphasizes expression, sociability, and creativity as the lesson to be learned in this life. You are among the entertainers of the world, bright, effervescent, sparkling people with very optimistic attitudes. You possess the most exceptional creative skills: normally in the verbal realm, writing, speaking, acting, or similar endeavors. The lesson to be learned with a 3 life path is that of achievement through expression. The bright side of this path stresses harmony, beauty and pleasures; of sharing your creative talents with the world. Capturing your capability in creative self-expression is the highest level of attainment for this life path. You are warm and friendly, a good conversationalist, social and open. A good conversationalist both from the standpoint of being a delight to listen to, but even more importantly, one who has the ability to listen to others. You are always a welcome addition to any social situation and know how to make others feel at home. Your reative imagination is present, if sometimes latent, as the you may not be moved to develop you talent. Your approach to life tends to be exceedingly positive, and your disposition is almost surely sunny and open-hearted. You effectively cope with all of the many setbacks that occur in life and readily bounce back for more. It is usually easy for you to deal with problems because you can freely admit the existence of problems without letting them get you down. You have good manners and seem to be very conscious of other people's feelings and emotions. Life is generally lived to the fullest, often without much worry about tomorrow. You are not very good at handling money because of a general lack of concern about it. You spend it when you have it and don't when you don't. On the negative side, a 3 may be so delighted with the joy of living that the life becomes frivolous and superficial. You may scatter your abilities and express little sense of purpose. You can be an enigma, for no apparent reason you may become moody and tend to retreat. Escapist tendencies are not uncommon with the 3 life path, and you find it very hard to settle into one place or one position. Guard against being critical of others, impatient, intolerant, or overly optimistic. Typically, the life path 3 gives an above-average ability in some art form. This can encompass painting, interior decorating, landscaping, crafts, writing, music, or the stage, or all of the above. You are apt to be a happy, inspired person, constantly seeking the stimuli of similar people. Your exuberant nature can take you far, especially if you are ever able to focus your energies and talents.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Have about enough..

Oops! There goes the dreams we used to say
Oops! There goes the time we spent away
Oops! There goes the love I had
But you cheated on me and that's for that now
Oops! There goes the house we made a home
Oops! There goes you'll never leave me alone
Oops! For all the lies you told
This is what you owe

Hey ladies!
When ya man wanna get buck wild
Just go back and hit em up style
Get ya hands on his cash
And spend it to the last dime for all the hard time
Oh! When ya go then everything goes
From the crib to the ride and the clothes
So ya betta let him know that
If he mess up
Ya gotta hit em up - Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!), Blu Cantrell

Anyway, hey, I am so so so so so so sorry. What was I thinking? I should have known better. Guess I am the kind who has no self-will and will simply buckle under pressure. Again, I am so sorry.

*Bangs head against the wall repeatedly*



I really hate post-CPDD period. I will be stuck doing 8 hours of YG which will leave me practically brain-dead because I am dreading YG writing now. I am tired of pleasing the clients, the artist and designer, the account manager and the education cow. I am tired of having to sit in front of this stupid 17-incher writing e-mails after e-mails about some stupid amendments. I am tired of having to deal with more and more people in the team who do nothing to ease my YG burden.

I hate myself for always picking a fight with kelen. I cant help it because out of all the rest of the colleagues, kelen is the only one I can throw my tantrum at. I feel quite guilty sometimes but HAH, she is no angel either. In fact, I do learn from the best.

You must be thinking why am I blogging instead of starting on my mounting YG crap. Well, I have abs no mood.

Or, I am just plain-ass lazy.

Whatever it is, tough luck.



My mind is already down by the beach…let’s think of a beachy tune, one that I can hum to while watching the sun sets. HOORAY!


Shadows grow so long before my eyes
And they're moving across the page
Suddenly the day turns into night
Far away from the city
Well, don't hesitate, 'cause your love just won't wait...

Ooo, baby, I love your way, everyday
Gonna tell you I love your way, everyday
Wanna be with you night and day

Moon appears to shine and light the skies
With the help of some firefly
Wonder how they have the power to shine
But don't hesitate, 'cause your love just won't wait...

I can see the sunset in your eyes
Brown and grey, blue besides
Clouds are stalking islands in the sun
Wish I could buy one out of season
But don't hesitate, 'cause your love just won't wait...

Ooo, baby, I love your way, everyday
Gonna tell you I love your way, everyday
Wanna be with you night and day - Baby I Love Your Way, Big Mountains


Gonna miss Smallville again tonight. But it is all cool.


P/s: I love indie internet radio!

###

True love asks for nothing

Arf! I am tired..so tired. I was massaging my left foot again (stupid metatarsal pain) when i accidentally dozed off and the massage oil bottle fell out of my hand and onto the floor. Urgh..oily!



Damn xiong today. But I dont understand why they do away with the abs and pumping part?

Oh well.

Going to the beach in the evening tomorrow. Hope the weather is better this time. Anyway Anwar got booted out just now. Expected lah. He was kind of getting on my nerves each week. I think Scott will be next. Whoever it is, I hope it is not Bo or Carrie.

I havent been reading the papers. I think I shall do that after this.

As around the sun the earth knows she's revolving
And the rosebuds know to bloom in early May
Just as hate knows love's the cure
You can rest your mind assure
That I'll be loving you always
As now can't reveal the mystery of tomorrow
But in passing will grow older every day
Just as all that's born is new
You know what I say is true
That I'll be loving you always

(Until the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky) Always
(Until the ocean covers every mountain high) Always
(Until the dolphin flies and parrots live at sea) Always
(Until we dream of life and life becomes a dream)

Did you know that true love asks for nothing
No no her acceptance is the way we pay
Did you know that life has given love a guarantee
To last through forever and another day
Just as time knew to move on since the beginning
And the seasons know exactly when to change
Just as kindness knows no shame
Know through all your joy and pain
That I'll be loving you always

As today I know I'm living But tomorrow
Could make me the past but that I mustn't fear
For I'll know deep in my mind
The love of me I've left behind
'Cause I'll be loving you always

(Until the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky) Always
(Until the ocean covers every mountain high) Always
(Until the dolphin flies and parrots live at sea) Always
(Until we dream of life and life becomes a dream)
Now ain't that loving you... - As, Stevie Wonder

OK..a thousand times goodnight, weekenders.

###

Sian sian

Why am I so freaking hungry?

Anyway I got my YG June schedule and I shudder at the thought of writing the Tao Nan Primary School because I have no idea what to crap about. I am so tired of doing stupid and meaningless essays just to make the teachers and the S&M (that is sales and marketing side, perverts) people happy.



I have done nothing much today. The highlight of the day was when inn tian’s magician who came over for a YG interview did a magic performance for us. That I got bored after 10 minutes because he wasn’t really engaging enough.

Oh well ..I think I will get ready and head to town. Maybe I can grab something for dinner…oh I want Bravissimo milkshake. Hmm..then I can get my shower gel.

Wahlao..si bei sian!

###

I dream of escaping

I can see Brendon Wong and Glenn Ong sniggering their asses off. Devils..what's wrong with you? Remember we have a date on the 7th. Please impress me.

Cedebah!

Anyway Sha...if you are interested in becoming an editorial assistant in my company, do send me your resume soon, yeah? i think the pay is about $1500..5 days, office hour, own computer and stuff. You may even be involved in doing the YG magazine.

Met Sha, Jason and Mail last night for a game of badminton. It was like a superfast round and i didnt really get to enjoy the game because it was too competitive. Ok..Mail made it competitive and I got pulled into it. First game (2 sets) was a gender's doubles. And hah..like sha said, we kicked their butts. Next game (we managed only 1 and a half set though), i paired off with jason and we won the first set. Mail and Sha were leading 7-5 into the 2nd set...alas it was already 2200hrs. I think Mail was never meant to win. Hehe.



Anyhow, I enjoyed the company last night. Hopefully we can do this next week. Guys, Sentosa this Sunday?

Anyway as I am sitting here, slurping my tom yam instant noodle, staring at the roti boyan inn tian bought for me and bopping to some "urban" music, I suddenly remember Sha's dream.

..And like they say, hah, dreams are always the opposite. I really cant see it. Initially i thought we had similar interests and stuff..but as I know more about that person, no way in hell will anything work out. But babe, thanks for dreaming about me. You must be missing me..and the other dream character.



Lying here
All alone in the shadows
I believe when I sleep
All the pain's gonna fade away
I can dream, can't I
When I close my eyes
Kiss the world goodbye
I dream I'm escaping

To a land far away
Through the night time
There's a secret place
Where no one can hurt you
Desert you
No one hurts you
That's why I'm escaping

Oh it's hard to say goodbye
Knowing that when I try
Try to forget you
Love brings reality home
I keep my heart upon the shelf
Hiding inside myself
What am I doing
No use in fading
When love is forsaken
It's so hard escaping your love

There's a love
Made for me waiting out there
When that day comes along
I'll be strong, I will make it through
I can dream, can't I
When I close my eyes
Will the tears run dry
This time I'm escaping

Oh it's hard to say goodbye
Knowing that when I try
Try to forget you
Love brings reality home
I keep my heart upon the shelf
Hiding inside myself
What am I doing
No use in fading
When love is forsaken
It's so hard escaping your love - Escaping, Dina Carroll

Going for my BodyCombat session tonight and therefore will have to give Joey a sad miss. Oh shit..havent done my income tax also. Argh.

Bo was excellent last night. I hope Scott Savol goes out today. We'll see how it goes tonight.

###

SLeepy

Fucketing: The act of selling fucks; see "prostitution"

Soccer's starting and I am feeling very very sleepy.

My metatarsal bone on my left foot is still hurting. It is giving me stress!

Blah!

Anyway for those who are interested to know or are showing their concern, i've got a lightbulb fixed to the socket in the bathroom already.

No more showering in the darkness.

A thousand times good night, sleepyheads.

###

If this is wrong then I dont want to be right

Yakult or Vitagen?
Both taste the same to me but I will choose Vitagen over Yakult because “Vitagen” sounds better.

Anyway…

I will be sent to Le Meridien Changi in June to have a weekend stay there. I am supposed to try the fantastic facilities and stuff. I saw the brochures and photos..they all look so nice.





Problem: What if I am not here in June? What a bloody waste!!!!! Damn.

Oh well

You know, I have counter many supposedly lonely or out-of-place moments. Each time, I will tell myself not to encounter such situations again.



I remember on one of my last nights in Perth, Susan and Lauren somehow managed to drag me down to this jazz bar. I was not interested in the first place because they would be there with their respective boyfriends and their cliques of United Nations, whom I don’t really know (make friends? Different wavelengths). There, Susan and Lauren went to their respective lovers and I was left alone on the sofa.

Being a non-drinker, I didn’t join in their drinking fun and was left quite cold and bored. I didn’t know where Lauren was (somewhere I guess.) but Susan and Sean were nice enough to sit with me. But they soon engaged in some hanky-panky crap and all the more I felt like a short Asian lamp post in a cold winter's night.

It felt like eternity in there. The music was nice but sometimes, music couldn’t substitute that sucky feeling. And I remember one of them still had the cheek to ask me why was I quiet and bored. I look bored? Really?

That is the only incident I choose to remember now. Poignant, enough.

Why am I bringing this up? I don’t know, I just feel like it. Maybe I am finding excuses to be an individualistic and not to depend on others for anything. An excuse to do things alone because only then can I not be disappointed. Sometimes others take advantage of my forgiving nature. It is making me pissed as I grow older. This is because I have learnt to take care of myself.

I can forgive but I definitely don’t forget.

Another reason is perhaps I don’t want to be in that “other” position. I don’t want to leave out my friends in conversations and I don’t want to make them feel out of place. That’s why I don’t like to mix groups. But HAH! Some so-called friends actually questioned my intentions. They said I wanted to keep my friends all to myself. Why am i friends with such twats? Guys, if you have that kind of thinking towards me, take a bow and say “Aye”. We will never meet again. I am sure you know who you are.



Kakak, I am sorry but I wasn’t in the mood to meet your new guy yesterday (or today, or tomorrow). I asked you out for a movie because well, I remembered you always mention that I had been watching shows without you. So since I was back early yesterday I called you up. However since you were out on a date it was awrite. But you wanted to join me still, bringing him along. It’s ok, lah. We can always go out next time.

I think the main reason must be that I didn’t want to meet your new guy..or anybody’s other halves for that matter. I think I am still suffering from Kiong’s wedding saga.

Am I too attached to my friends so much that it kills me to see them with their lovers? No. Am I too proud to make friends with their lovers? Maybe. Maybe not.

Oh well.

Learn to take care of your own feelings first, Mona. In the end, you are answerable only to yourself and to God.

I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
I've got a mind of my own
I'm flesh and blood to the bone
I'm not made of stone
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

I've got a right to be wrong
I've been held down too long
I've got to break free
So I can finally breathe
I've got a right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

You're entitled to your opinion
But it's really my decision
I can't turn back I'm on a mission
If you care don't you dare blur my vision
Let me be all that I can be
Don't smother me with negativity
Whatever's out there waiting for me
I'm going to faced it willingly - Right To Be Wrong, Joss Stone

Heh, why am I so melancholic?

Actually I am not. I am as happy as a lark really. I just got my money from Jill. Instead of $200, there’s $50 more.

For the third consecutive month, I am god damn lucky. Woohoo!

Awrite. Yoga tonight with Uncle Deepak. Ismail is at the gym already I think. Maybe can meet for dinner.

###

Casino-no

I am not pro-casino like Ting. But yeah..like a minister said, we cannot stop selling condom just because one religion opposes to pre-marital sex. But then again, don’t all religions oppose to premarital sex? However Big Brother can just have one kah-see-no, right? Singapore is such a small dot..we don’t need 2 kar-si-nohs. If you win the top jackpot prize in Marina Bay, your manic screams of joy CAN be heard in Sentosa.



Chin Han’s entry got me thinking a bit ( just a little..dont want to hurt my brain). What good is democracy if the voices of the public go unheard? If it is democracy, it means majority rules. Surely, there are more conservative people in Singapore. Add religious views to that. They say that we cannot just listen to one religion going against it. But we have quite a number of different religions here..which one approves of gambling?

They should put talks and words of democracy and liberalism aside and focus on the main desire – making money. It is brutal and politically-incorrect BUT it is not hypocritical.




“Dear Singaporeans,

We want not 1, but 2 casinos because we want:

* Tourists to spend their money here and not in Genting, Macau, Burswood

* More jobs for more people and then we will receive more income tax

* Big bosses to lose their money, go bankrupt, have no money to pay their poor employees and then we step in and be good Samaritans

* Indonesia to be more envious of us

* To attract terrorists into gambling, instead of bombing us, so that we can have their money

* To make more money for charity so that the MediaCorp people can stop performing for free on the NKF Charity Award Shows and instead act their asses off so that they can pay income tax

* Future Singapore Idol winners to win mega prizes equivalent to their American counterparts

* To promote more money-making businesses and franchises with high rental NEAR the casino – pawnshops, cetis or moneylenders, moneychangers, brothels, 7-11s, Hotel 81s, S-11, Boon Tong Kees, Starbucks, Old Chang Kees, etc

* To create more jobs for student interns (business, finance, PR, management, IT, engineering, advertising, marketing, etc students) to do their training programmes because they are way way way way cheaper and less jaded.

Love,
Big Brother "

Bunch of fucking wankers

Again. I have to do this.

Take a deep breath.

Kaninabeichaocheebyechaolanjiaochaolamba
Nilaobunilaobeininaimaninaohia

Pukimakauberjambul!

Piece of fucked shit. Bloody asshole. Butt-fucker. Shit crick. Cock-sucking wanker.

Putain de merde! La putain de ta mere! Mouffi ou Moufflarge! Branleur! Connard!

MOTHERFUCKER!!

ARGH!

I am going home.

###

I'm not o-fucking-kay

Oh well. Not all “No news is good news” is good news. No news always leaves people in limbo – should I continue waiting? Hoping? Preparing? Or should I give up my hopes? My dreams?



You have Angel Wings! You like soft,quiet, and
helpful goodness in your life. You are a good
person who deserves angel wings.

What kind of wings would you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Right. The only wings I want right now are buffalo wings.


John Gotti Agnello

· Son of Victoria Gotti and Grandson of John Gotti
· Younger brother of Carmine and older brother of Frankie
· 17 years old
· Calls himself a ladies' man
· Values loyalty and a sense of humour
· He is attracted to "the girl next door"
· Favourite movie is "National Lampoon's Van Wilder"
· Likes to shop at French Connection and Bernini
· He drives a white BMW 5 Series
· Favorite color is white
· Vice-President of his school
· Is an honour roll student with straight A's
· Will be graduating in the top ten percent of his school
· Wants to go to Harvard, NYU, or Villanova to study law
· His favorite designers are Gucci, Versace, Kenneth Cole and Armani
· His hobbies are sports, reading, computer, music and hanging with friends

Hahahahah. No life have I. But he is really cute though…On Growing up Gotti, at least.

Ok enough of all this crap.

Seriously now..

Doing YG is driving up the wall and I may soon become a pathetic nutter. I don’t want your pseudo-care, your freebies and premiums and that name in the by-line. All I want is my sanity.

So, can you please give me back my sanity..and my confidence?

Sister, I'm not much a poet, but a criminal
And you never had a chance
Love it, or leave it, you can't understand
A pretty face, but you do so carry on
And on...And on
I wouldn't front the scene if you paid me
I'm just the way that the doctor made me, on
And on..And on..And on
Love is the red of the rose on your coffin door
What's life like, bleeding on the floor
The floor...the floor
You'll never make me leave
I wear this on my sleeve
Give me a reason to believe

So give me all your poison
And give me all your pills
And give me all your hopeless hearts
And make me ill
You're running after something
That you'll never kill
If this is what you want
Then fire at will - Thank You For The Venom, My Chemical Romance

Sad wankers.

###

The Sunday heat

Nenek, Mona datang. Mona datang, Nenek.
Grandma, I am here. I am here, Grandma.



Was at the cemetery around 1000-ish with my mum, sis, cousin, auntie and uncle. they had bought a weekend car, a Hyundai Matrix, and took us to Choa Chu Kang. Anyway. the first pitstop was at my maternal grandpa's. but we couldnt find his plot so we went to look for my granny.

I was engulfed with grief while reading the surah yassin (Quranic verses) and well, thank God my sunglasses (Guc-fucking-ci..haha) hid the brimming eyes. I "talked" to her and summarised my life 15 years after she left. I know she knows what is happening in my life but i have to tell her personally (though they were barely audible). I confessed that I had done some things which I was not supposed to do but i told her over her grave that I would definitely try to change because I too, dont want to be ashamed and disgusted with myself for the rest of my existence.

Mom and auntie put flowers and poured rose water over the grave and we decided to make new dapur-dapur for her. I think I am going to chip in...i dont have much to offer but maybe I'll get my brother to give $50 too so we'll pass $100 to my auntie. My bro and i were after all...her favourites.

Went to look for 3 other graves - Kak Koya (cousin), Wak Komeng (uncle) and Tok Tohid (paternal grandpa) - but we couldnt find them. spent close to 1.5 hours going round and round and it totally sapped our energy. The sun was getting scorching hot and i was beginning to itch due to all the lalang-bashing. I was also getting irrtitated at my aunt and mother because they both talked as if they both knew the way. but of course they didnt know. I had to bite my tongue and refrain from biting their heads off because i am at the cemetery after all. Must respek the dead and the peacefulness of it all.

Okay..so we couldnt find the 3 graves. We decided to go back to the very first pitstop to look for my maternal grandpa's grave. We all split our ways with my auntie and i went to look together. After about 10 minutes, my auntie got tired and she said:

Bapak, bapak kat mana? Keluarlah bapak.
(Dad, where are you? Come out dad)

A minute later, my aunt spotted a blue grave (we had passed it but didnt really notice) behind a tree and asked me to check it out. I braved the lalang and itchy plants again and saw the name - Haji Misban Bin Abdullah - and started to scream "Here! Here!" I read the verses again and after i finished, I "talked" to my grandpa. I told him how I am now 25 years old .. 23 years after he last saw me. My auntie and uncle decided my grandpa need new dapur-dapur too so she decided to fork another $300. God bless them both. I have to chip in. I havent done enough for this family.

I will. I will.

We finally got out of the cemetery at about 1330-1400hrs. No yoga or gym for me. I was so dehydrated, sweaty and itchy. Plus i didnt think i could make it for the 1430hrs yoga class. Headed to IMM for lunch (or was it breakfast?) and just took a walk-around. Left the place at 1600hrs and my uncle sent us back

Nani, sorry I couldnt make it to the gym. Thank God, we ended the conversation. If you had pushed me harder into going, I would have been really really pissed.



Reached home around 1630hrs, changed..fell asleep until 2030hrs. Couldnt watch the beginning 10 minutes of Man U versus Newcastle because me mom was watching some malay show. 4-1!! The boys are back.

Awrite. Another work week. It's pay-day week. Going to Ting's house this week..need to get something from her mom. Also need to borrow haversack from Sharinah..need to change money and stuff. It's the 18th already...12 more days to LONDON!!



I was a stranger in the city
Out of town were the people I knew
I had that feeling of self-pity
What to do? What to do? What to do?
The outlook was decidedly blue
But as I walked through the foggy streets alone
It turned out to be the luckiest day I've known

A foggy day in London Town
Had me low and had me down
I viewed the morning with alarm
The British Museum had lost its charm
How long, I wondered, could this thing last?
But the age of miracles hadn't passed
For, suddenly, I saw you there
And through foggy London Town
The sun was shining everywhere - A Foggy Day (In London Town), Fred Astaire and Judy Garland / Michael Buble

Oite...it's 0300hrs and Destiny's Child (think it is just Beyonce) is having some Girl-talk blaring at the background. Have to sleep now. So, a thousand times goodnight good people.

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A 16 year old boy

He's really nice. Tall. Strong and silent. Sporty. Has a shy smile. Soft spoken. Reliable. C0mmitted. Swashbuckling. Good leader. Responsible. Very Jake Gyllenhaal-ish.

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So...why God? Why do you let this 16-year-old boy step in my path?

No. I am not turning paedophile. It's just that...i'm miffed that my dream guy is 9 years (That's almost a decade!!) younger than me. Maybe I can look for him in about 4 years' time. sigh...

You scored as The Romantic Type. You just love the romantic kind of guy. Basically he's all over you and will want to show u all the time. He loves to love you. The only problem with this fella is that he's soo nice that his ex's won't want to let him go. The Romantic Type 85% The Gay Guy 75% Mr Commitment 55% The Playboy 50% What type of guy to you go for??? created with QuizFarm.com

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Super hot day (pre-downpour, that is) Saturday was. was out in the sun from 0800hrs to 1400hrs and well, duh-ly, I am ashened. It was so hot the kiwi on our boots melted and my toes felt like they were about to combust. Wearing that blue uniform didnt help too. Everything just stuck to the skin. Bluwergh.

Had a debrief session with the NCOs - sec 4s and 5s. Next week is their last parade and well, i am kind of sad. Couldnt help shedding some tears...especially upon seeing Benjamin and Hasnan all teary-eyed. They are ..what..my 3rd graduating batch in Northbrooks and as each batch passes by, I am getting fonder and fonder of my cadets. How can I just cut all these ties?

Maybe I should quote Frankie J:

Amor no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling
What am I doing wrong
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion
That I have in my heart - Obsession


Side news: My sister has broken up with her boyfriend because he is getting too clingy and possessive. Good..cause my sis deserves someone better...and cooler. Not some tapered-jeans mat.

May is gonna be crazy. London..and most probably Tioman..Kota Tinggi (or some forested area) for the NPCC adventure break and on 31st May to 2 June, it is going to be Pulau Ubin for the Adventure Training Camp. How? My leave entitlement is left with 10 days only and it is not even the middle of the year!

But HAH! You cant tell me not to go.

Awrite. Lauren, have a good ultra-short work vacation (huh?). I think I need to sleep. I am going to the cemetery tomorrow to "visit" my grandparents. It has been about 15 years since I last came to the cemetery. And after that, I am visiting Deepak at the gym. For much-needed yoga.

Till then, a thousand times goodnight, cemetery people.

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Fucker della madre!!

Are we that fucking kiam pah?

Kaninabeichaocheebye.


Tiu ley lo mo hai!


Putain foutue! fils d'une chienne! baiseur stupide! branleur foutu!


Scopata! fucker della madre! Stupido wanker! La vostra madre!


ARGGGHH!!


Now it is too cloudy to go to the beach.


CHEE BYE!

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Do you see what I see?

Actually I wanted to put in a pontianak. But the thought of reading my blog in the middle of the night and facing the pontianak…no way, Jose.

Who is Jose? Is he Mexican, Portuguese, Cuban, Brazilian, Argentine, Puerto Rican, Costa Rican, Panamian, Paraguayan or Spanish? Sekali Cina..Jose Chan Ah Kow. Pronounced: Jo-s. Ok crap.

Anyway...

Thanks to my mother’s sightings of pontianaks and whatever langsuir around the neighbourhood, I am trying to recall all the religious songs I had learnt (marhaban..berzanji..etc) to entertain my thoughts while I am walking home. When the fragrance (which I do smell sometimes) gets too strong, I realise the songs get louder.

Talaal badru alaina
Minsani ya til wada’
Wa ja bash shukru alaika
Ma da’a lillahi da

I forgot the other verse. Damn, I am lousy. Where did I [mis]place the tape?

A friend commented that I seemed to have something against women wearing tudungs. I cant remember what I said in the presence of him and the tudung-ed women but I know it must be something about their etiquettes or demeanour. I wouldn’t make snide remarks attacking their tudungs because it is what beyond that tudungs that bothers me. That friend didn’t buy my explanation and end with "you are entitled to your own opinions."

Maybe last time I would just get temperamental and take that remark very personally. But I have learnt to accept that. I take full responsibility of what I said and I meant each and every word. If people don’t buy my intention or message, there is nothing I can do. It is ok lah. I will get my deserving (or is it undeserving? I think if it's from God, it is deserving) sentence from God and whatever I’ll get, I so totally deserve it.

What Friday crap am I talking about?

I think doing the Barbie article is driving me insane.

Who made up all the rules
We follow them like fools
Believe them to be true
Don't care to think them through
And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

And it's ironic too
Coz what we tend to do
Is act on what they say
And then it is that way
And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

Who are they
And where are they
And how can they possibly
Know all this
Who are they
And where are they
And how can they possibly
Know all this

Do you see what I see
Why do we live like this
Is it because it's true
That ignorance is bliss - They, Jem

And if I am not wrong, Jem was the name of one of my favourite cartoons last time.

Jem..truly outrageous
Truly truly truly outrageous
Jem..truly outrageous
And no one is the same
Jem is my name
Jem!

###

###

You stole the sun from my heart

I'm not sure what I see
Cupid don't fuck wit me
Are you telling me this is a sign?
She's looking in my eyes
Now I see no other guys
Are you telling me this is a sign? - Justin Timberlake on Snoop Dogg's Signs

You scored as You Are a LAN JIAO!. You are a true LAN JIAO! What the fuck!? You love your rambutans red, ripe and hairy. You're probably addicted to some form of fire-arm hobby, honed during your formative years with your trusty SUPER SOAKER. Hard as nails u may or may not be, but WHAT THE HELL?! Get out and SHOOT @ THOSE FUCKERS! You Are a LAN JIAO! 67% You Are a CHEE BYE! 42% You Are a POOH BOR KIA! 17% What Singaporean Vulgarity Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

hahahahhahaa...si bey lan jiao! or to quote Chee Kiong..."ku ku jiao". heheheh love to say that..ku ku jiao..ku ku jiao..


Why do I have the sick thought that the boy is showing his kukujiao to the girl? Sick.

Anyway...like Dear has advertised, there's a cool website and well it's smoking! check out this mania! It's my favourite webby at the moment. Fantastic. In fact, I spent the whole Thursday surfing it...for YG "research" of course.




If you had not mentioned it, the past would just be tucked in a secret dark corner at the back of the mind...never to be awakened again. But, I had to be the one with the itchy mouth and fingers, provoking whatever sadistic thoughts you have. But whatever it is, i shall not be moved. At least, I shall try. I may shake/tremble/wobble/jiggle...but i dont think i will take a step back again.

Woah.

Ok...it's time to meet my Pierre (i think i have been reading too much
FOXTROT) and well, i've got to go. So a thousand times goodnight, star-stealers. May the twinkling lights show you the way.

The way back to my heart.

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