Both taste the same to me but I will choose Vitagen over Yakult because “Vitagen” sounds better.
Anyway…
I will be sent to Le Meridien Changi in June to have a weekend stay there. I am supposed to try the fantastic facilities and stuff. I saw the brochures and photos..they all look so nice.
Problem: What if I am not here in June? What a bloody waste!!!!! Damn.
Oh well
You know, I have counter many supposedly lonely or out-of-place moments. Each time, I will tell myself not to encounter such situations again.
I remember on one of my last nights in Perth, Susan and Lauren somehow managed to drag me down to this jazz bar. I was not interested in the first place because they would be there with their respective boyfriends and their cliques of United Nations, whom I don’t really know (make friends? Different wavelengths). There, Susan and Lauren went to their respective lovers and I was left alone on the sofa.
Being a non-drinker, I didn’t join in their drinking fun and was left quite cold and bored. I didn’t know where Lauren was (somewhere I guess.) but Susan and Sean were nice enough to sit with me. But they soon engaged in some hanky-panky crap and all the more I felt like a short Asian lamp post in a cold winter's night.
It felt like eternity in there. The music was nice but sometimes, music couldn’t substitute that sucky feeling. And I remember one of them still had the cheek to ask me why was I quiet and bored. I look bored? Really?
That is the only incident I choose to remember now. Poignant, enough.
Why am I bringing this up? I don’t know, I just feel like it. Maybe I am finding excuses to be an individualistic and not to depend on others for anything. An excuse to do things alone because only then can I not be disappointed. Sometimes others take advantage of my forgiving nature. It is making me pissed as I grow older. This is because I have learnt to take care of myself.
I can forgive but I definitely don’t forget.
Another reason is perhaps I don’t want to be in that “other” position. I don’t want to leave out my friends in conversations and I don’t want to make them feel out of place. That’s why I don’t like to mix groups. But HAH! Some so-called friends actually questioned my intentions. They said I wanted to keep my friends all to myself. Why am i friends with such twats? Guys, if you have that kind of thinking towards me, take a bow and say “Aye”. We will never meet again. I am sure you know who you are.
Kakak, I am sorry but I wasn’t in the mood to meet your new guy yesterday (or today, or tomorrow). I asked you out for a movie because well, I remembered you always mention that I had been watching shows without you. So since I was back early yesterday I called you up. However since you were out on a date it was awrite. But you wanted to join me still, bringing him along. It’s ok, lah. We can always go out next time.
I think the main reason must be that I didn’t want to meet your new guy..or anybody’s other halves for that matter. I think I am still suffering from Kiong’s wedding saga.
Am I too attached to my friends so much that it kills me to see them with their lovers? No. Am I too proud to make friends with their lovers? Maybe. Maybe not.
Oh well.
Learn to take care of your own feelings first, Mona. In the end, you are answerable only to yourself and to God.
I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
I've got a mind of my own
I'm flesh and blood to the bone
I'm not made of stone
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone
I've got a right to be wrong
I've been held down too long
I've got to break free
So I can finally breathe
I've got a right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone
You're entitled to your opinion
But it's really my decision
I can't turn back I'm on a mission
If you care don't you dare blur my vision
Let me be all that I can be
Don't smother me with negativity
Whatever's out there waiting for me
I'm going to faced it willingly - Right To Be Wrong, Joss Stone
Heh, why am I so melancholic?
Actually I am not. I am as happy as a lark really. I just got my money from Jill. Instead of $200, there’s $50 more.
For the third consecutive month, I am god damn lucky. Woohoo!
Awrite. Yoga tonight with Uncle Deepak. Ismail is at the gym already I think. Maybe can meet for dinner.
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