We are golden

My eyes are going to fail me soon. Each day they get more and more blurry. Think it's time to change the speckies. Argh. I just want to see how long more before I go blind. Er..okay, I take that back. Ampun Tuhan. I dont want to go blind. Acah ajer.

 

Am having Nescafe Frappe and hot tea at the same time because my KFC breakfast of twister wrap and tea comes with a free Frappe (some card promotion thing). Must drink tea before it turns cold...must drink coffee before all the ice cubes melt and the coffee becomes..bleurgh yeech...lukewarm. Am really having a weird-out time thinking which one to sip next. And no, I am not letting one of them go to waste. It's $4.90!

 

Listen to you, Ed!

It's less than $5!

 

*shut up, Voice!"

 

As you read earlier, my usual breakfast is the $1.40 porridge/youtiao from Old Chang Kee. I was too embarrassed to get them today because it's always the same person serving me. Today, I told myself not to be a cheapo and go for something else. Serves me right. The Fraape/tea will soon give me a stomachache and my "expensive" breakfast will all be literally flushed away.

 

Ed, tomorrow is the public lecture.

You should be panicking.

 

*shut up, Voice"

 

Sorry, am having a schizophreniac morning as you can see/read. It's the Frappe/tea talking.

 

I just found out that the yam paste dessert (orh nee), in some eateries, has lard in it. I am devastated. Why must they put lard in all these food? Why cant you stick to a healthier, "universal" choice? Not that I'll eat it outside but I just hate the thought that next time, if I feel like eating it, I have to make sure that there's no lard in it. It's freaking yam paste! What if a vegetarian/Muslim/Jew wants to eat it? *grumbles*grumbles*

 

I wanted to pen something...but I forgot what it was.

Thinks hard.

..

..

..

 

Oh I remember. I just wanted to say that US dollar is plummeting and wow, it's a good time to travel there or to buy the currency. I mean, who are we kidding, it will go up eventually but we dont know when right? Maybe I will go get ("get" hahahha") me some Benjamins next week, you know..just to start in this currency exchange trivial pursuit. I guess, that will be my savings from now on. All my savings will be converted to US dollars and I will keep them under my pilow. I cant put it in my POSB account, right? So under the pillow, they shall be.

 

And one more thing, the price of gold is bloody soaring. I have stopped dabbling in gold and in China markets because I realised I dont have money to do it anymore. It's funny that I used to do all these investment/insurance nonsense when I was younger and poorer. Now that I am older, I realise...fuck it. I  need my money for my daily survival. What can I say...I am not a planner. I live for today. That, my friend, is something I really need to look at. I dont want to be old and penniless. :(

 

Back to gold, I think I should start investing in again. Diamonds, pearls, etc, are nice to have but ultimately they have no stock value. It's the gaudy old gold which eventually can make you a fortune. Think I need to get myself to UOB (or is it OUB? Argh!) and open an account with them. This bank is the only one in Singapore which deals with gold investment...the buying and selling of cold, hard gold bars. Maybe I should rope the mother in this investment...knowing her obsession with gold.

 

Okay that's it. I will start dabbling in gold next year.

Maybe in two years' time, you guys can join me and roll around on my mountain of gold.

 

 

P/S: I am a new GLEE geek.. Gleek!

 

 

###

Taking chances

I was just done with one task (yes, just one!) 10 minutes ago and I had been working on it since 1000hrs in the morning. A lot documentation stuff for my new university programme.

 

On Wednesday, I will be conducting a talk open to the public. My mind is in a whirl I cant remember what am I going talk about. Something about media (well what else) and globalisation and stuff. You guys are free to come down to my school at 1900hrs okay? It will be great to see familiar faces though...compared to seeing the scrutinising public eyes. I hope I dont suck so bad.

 

Quite pissed for being chosen actually because I felt that I am not so worthy to give a speech. I mean...come on, who am I? I have give and take about 10 years of working experience only (and that includes all the weird odd jobs here and there) and man...what if the audience has like..30 years of job experience. I will probably just stating the obvious.

 

Plus, I have to tone down the way I speak cause in my  classes, it's always about political stuff. I am restraining myself from touching politics this Wednesday so as to protect my ass. I wanted to talk about films cause that's what I am really into but it's too niche for the public, said the sales+marketing peeps. I wanted to talk about the evolution of literary and liberal arts(modern/postmodern) and again, the peeps said no.

 

"Make it as general as possible," they said.

 

If it's so general....why wouldnt you know it?

 

Oh well.

I am so tired and it is only Monday.

 

So what if it's a short week and a long weekend for me (took leave on Monday)? It's the thought of getting through the 4-day week that is taxing. I have 2 more books to write, 3 more lessons to prepare, 3 more classes to teach, 1 freaking book review for the academic journal (why? why? I dont read academic book for leisure, okay!!) 1 public talk and endless admin/documentation work regarding the new uni programe to be completed.

 

I should just go "korban" (sacrifice) with the kambings this Hari Raya Haji.

At least they seem to have a more purposeful life.

 

 

P/S: I love me some Hari Raya Haji (Eid-ul-Adha) celebration. It's less indulgent than Hari Raya Puasa (Eid-ul-Fitri), more meaningful and there's no fasting :)

 

 

###

Room at the top

ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Taylor Swift

 

Ed: Oh yeah baby! Told you she's 2009 hot.


POP/ROCK -- Favorite Male Artist
Michael Jackson

Ed: Granted. Americans have hearts. I still rock TI, though.

 

POP/ROCK -- Favorite Female Artist
Taylor Swift

Ed: I love America!!

 

POP/ROCK -- Favorite Band, Duo or Group
The Black Eyed Peas

Ed: Must be the Boom Boom Pow effect.

POP/ROCK -- Favorite Album
"Number Ones" -- Michael Jackson

Ed: Pity votes.

COUNTRY -- Favorite Male Artist
Keith Urban

Ed: Because Nicole Kidman wore a bizarre Balenciaga gown.

 

COUNTRY -- Favorite Female Artist
Taylor Swift

Ed: Taylor cant fight Reba and Carrie vocally but hey, she's a darling and this is 'FAVOURITE' Female artist.

 

COUNTRY -- Favorite Band, Duo or Group
Rascal Flatts

Ed: Doggone it.

COUNTRY -- Favorite Album
"Fearless" -- Taylor Swift

Ed: This girl is on fire! Eat that Kanye!

RAP/HIP-HOP -- Favorite Male Artist
Jay-Z

Ed: Oh come on! I can rap better than him.

RAP/HIP-HOP - Favorite Album
"Blueprint 3" -- Jay-Z

Ed: Is the committee afraid of getting shot or something? Come on..

SOUL/R&B - Favorite Male Artist

Michael Jackson

Ed: Like Jamie Foxx and Maxwell have a chance.

SOUL/R&B -- Favorite Female Artist
Beyoncé

Ed: Queen B rules this one.

SOUL/R&B -- Favorite Band, Duo or Group
The Black Eyed Peas

Ed: It's Fergie.

SOUL/R&B -- Favorite Album
"Number Ones" -- Michael Jackson

Ed: ..but...but...but..all the single ladies all the single ladies?

 

SOUNDTRACKS -- Favorite Album
"Twilight Soundtrack"

Ed: Miley Cyrus and R-Patz? No fight.

 

ALTERNATIVE ROCK -- Favorite Artist
Green Day

Ed: Underserving, Billie-Joe...but good on you.

ADULT CONTEMPORARY -- Favorite Artist
Taylor Swift

 

Ed: Mraz will always be understated and Daughtry is forever middle-of-the-road.

 

 

###

No air

I am one of those who rather be bundled in fleece blankets than to have the aircon/fan be switched off. It's okay to be fan-less if there's enough ventilation but in a claustrophobic, window-less office, I say, keep the bloody aircon on. Regulate the temperature sensibly if you have to but do not switch it off. Why would you rather be hot and stuffy when you can be snuggly cosy under your scarves and jackets?

 

And please...your laptops and computers need the aircon. And also, think about others who are sitting very far away from the central aircon. You switch it off, they'll die.

 

Increase the temperature if you must...but do not switch it off.

 

Please.

 

 

 

###

Bust a move

It's the American Music Awards today and knowing how Yankee I am in terms of music...well, it's a big day. But, ah, the award show is in America, broadcast live on American TV and here I am working and today, I dont know if I'll see the light of day :(

 

Here are the nominees for the 2009 American Music Awards

.........................................................

POP or ROCK MUSIC

Favorite Male Artist
Eminem
Michael Jackson
T.I.

Ed's pick: I know MJ will win but urgh..it's out of pity for me. I'll vote for T.I. It's his freaking year, come on!

Favorite Female Artist
Beyonce
Lady Gaga
Taylor Swift

Ed's pick: I would like to see Taylor Swift because she is so sweet and under-rated b ut she makes beautiful country music. But, I think I'll go with Lady Gaga this time round. Sorry, B. Keep up the fantastical stuff, still.

 

Favorite Band, Duo or Group
Black Eyed Peas
Kings of Leon
Nickelback

Ed's pick: Why is Nickelback here? Where is Green Day? Pooi, Nickelback. I pick KOL!

 

Favorite Album
Lady Gaga / Fame
Michael Jackson / Number Ones
Taylor Swift / Fearless

Ed's pick: I must be true to myself. Hahaha...GO TAYLOR!

 

COUNTRY MUSIC

Favorite Male Artist
Jason Aldean
Darius Rucker
Keith Urban

Ed's pick: Havent heard the first two. Not a big fan of Keith Urban. Am a Kenny Chesney fan. SKIP!

 

Favorite Female Artist
Reba McEntire
Taylor Swift
Carrie Underwood

Ed's pick: TAYLOR!!

 

Favorite Band, Duo or Group
Rascal Flatts
Sugarland
Zac Brown Band

Ed's pick: Sugarland and Rascal Flatts here everytime. I'll pick Zac Brown Band for variety reason.

 

Favorite Album
Rascal Flatts/ Unstoppable
Taylor Swift / Fearless
Zac Brown Band / Foundation

Ed's pick: TAYLOR!!!

 

RAP/HIP-HOP MUSIC

Favorite Male Artist
Eminem
Jay-Z
T. I.

Ed's pick: TI! Come on...you can do whatever you like! Swagger like us!

 

Favorite Album
Eminem / Relapse
Jay-Z / Blueprint 3
T.I. / Paper Trail

Ed's pick: You guessed it... TI!

 

SOUL/RHYTHM & BLUES MUSIC

Favorite Male Artist
Jamie Foxx
Michael Jackson
Maxwell

Ed's pick: What the fuck is this? Fine, I'll give this to MJ. Just because he's dead. Otherwise it's Maxwell.

 

Favorite Female Artist
Beyonce
Keyshia Cole
Keri Hilson

Ed's pick: I am sorry Keri Hilson. It's really Beyonce's call, this one.

 

Favorite Band, Duo or Group
Black Eyed Peas
Day26
Mary Mary

Ed's pick: Mary Mary is still around? I'll pick BEP because I pity Fergie for marrying a womaniser (a yummy one).

 

Favorite Album
Beyonce / I Am. . .Sasha Fierce
Black Eyed Peas / The E.N.D.
Michael Jackson / Number Ones

Ed's pick: Has anyone not heard Single Ladies? Sasha Fierce!

 

SOUNDTRACKS

Favorite Album
Hannah Montana: The Movie
Hannah Montana 3
Twilight Soundtrack

Ed's pick: WTF? I want to cry. Don't make me choose. Oh? Ok Twillight.

 

ALTERNATIVE ROCK MUSIC

Favorite Artist
Green Day
Kings of Leon
Shinedown

Ed's pick: 21 Guns a bit lame...so is Know Your Enemy. Sorry, Billie-Joe. I'll pick KOL.

 

ADULT CONTEMPORARY MUSIC

Favorite Artist
Daughtry
Jason Mraz
Taylor Swift

Ed's pick: This is an emotional choice. Jason Mraz. And oh...how's Taylor Swift adult contemporary when she is 19 (?) singing about being 15?

...............................................................

I have a freaking terrible headache and on top of that, I am bleeding love (heh). It's so cold here and I have a stacking amount of work.

 

Time to peace out.

 

 

###

 

Over my head

I just spent most of the day watching GLEE and now...it's 0045hrs and I am having a major major headache.I havent done any house work and havent done any lesson planning and stuff. Worse of all my eyes are going cock-eyed and are strained.

 

Thanks to the period, I have a brewing headache.

Think I go to sleep now.

 

 

###

I got it from my mama

Remember Levi, the guy who boinked Sarah Palin's daughter? Apparently he has found himself another way to gain fame. See?

Why don't I find this sexy?

Somehow these pictures make me want to throw up a little.

...
...
...

And I know I am not gay.


###

Gone to the movies

Here…my Top 20 love flicks. 'Casablanca' is the latest addition because I finally got it after watching the film for the umpteenth time.

1.       Romeo and Juliet (Baz Luhrmann)

2.       Moulin Rouge (Baz Luhrmann)

3.       Casablanca  (Michael Curtiz)

4.       The Notebook (Nick Cassavetes)

5.       Love Actually (Richard Curtis)

6.       Cold Mountain (Anthony Minghella)

7.       My Fair Lady (George Cukor)

8.       Edward Scissorhands (Tim Burton)

9.       Titanic (James Cameron)

10.   Ever After (Andy Tennant)

11.   Pretty Woman (Garry Marshall)

12.   Brokeback Mountain (Ang Lee)

13.   Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Ang Lee)

14.   Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Michael Gondry)

15.   The Princess Bride (Rob Reiner)

16.   50 First Dates (Peter Segal)

17.   Kuch Kuch  Hota Hai (Karan Johar)

18.   Sepet (Yasmin Ahmad)

19.   Days of Being Wild (Wong Kar Wai)

20.   In The Mood For Love (Wong Kar Wai)

 

Sure there are many more which didn't make this list. Come on, it's hard to decide when almost EVERY film out there has romance in various degrees in it. Even Wall-E, Batman, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and even March of the Penguins have romance. So this list represents flicks I don't mind watching over and over and over again.

 

Come on. I don't even have my Brad Pitt anywhere on this list.

Cause I am impartial like that.

 

 

… 2 films by Luhrmann

… 2 films by Wong Kar Wai

… 2 films by Ang Lee

… 2 films starring Leonard diCaprio

… 2 films starring Maggie Cheung

… 2 films starring Nicole Kidman

… 2 films starring Drew Barrymore

… 2 films starring Kate Winslet

 

 

###

 

 

 

Stupid girl

I am looking at this particular application procedure for an NUS Grad programme and it requires me to ask my former university to send my transcript/certificate to NUS.

 

Why so complicated? It's not like I can take a bus to my old university. It will take ages just to get the transcript. Is this the God's conspiracy not to let me continue my academic pursuit?.I am feeling so stupid already.

 

Humph.

 

 

###

 

 

Apologise

Watch the following.



Cruel or damn fresh seafood?


###

Chop suey

I am feeling damn suey. No, wrong. Not feeling...but I am damn suey these past few days.

 

I feel so lousy, helpless...retarded

 

Today at work, I got an epiphany. I mean, I knew it all along but...today I received more "light". Don't trust your colleagues. Not all can be your friends because in truth, there's only a handful whom can be friends. The rest...fakes.

 

Some just befriend you because they know you are useful. Because you know your way around, because you know when and where are the best places to go and stuff. Because they know you have all the answers and are not selfish enough to tell. Urgh, I must learn how to "gatekeep" myself. I am not public property so I should stop behaving like one.

 

Tomorrow will be a new day.

 

Fuck man.

High school never ends.

 

 

###

 

 

Times of miracle

 

This is wrong...but it tastes so good.

 

One reason why I am rushing to work every morning (except on Thursday when I am on the afternoon shift) is that Old Chang Kee has this porridge which is so popular that usually by 0930hrs, it will all be sold out. The porridge is not exceptionally tasty and all; it's plain and sometimes, meatless. But at $1.40 a pop, PLUS 2 'you tiaos', it can keep me warm all the way till about 1500hrs.

 

Now, that's a good deal.

 

So, every morning I will try to greet the Old Chang Kee's staff at 0900hrs (or even earlier). They, in turn, will give me the special. Whoopee. That's the price for wanting to save money for the future.  Here's to the future.

 

To the future!

 

 

P/S: I am so tempted to buy 2 bowls of porridge next time so that I can have it for late lunch or tea as well. $2.80 for 2 bowls is still cheaper than any other 2 meals that I can think of. Variety? I dont really care for variety, okay.

 

P/P/S: 2012 was awesome. Indeed the idea was kind of stupid because if it's the end of the world, everyone will die. But come on, since when are disaster movies about logic anyway? It's all evolution/psychobabble to me.

 

 

###

Waltzing Matilda

I read the following off channelnewsasia.com and I must say, it's about time, Australia.

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

PM Rudd in emotional apology to 'Forgotten Australians'
Posted: 16 November 2009 0855 hrs

CANBERRA: Prime Minister Kevin Rudd made an emotional apology on Monday to half-a-million "Forgotten Australians" who faced sexual abuse, violence and forced labour in childcare homes over a period of decades.

Victims among the 1,000 people who packed Parliament House for the address burst into tears as Rudd detailed heart-rending cases of neglect in Australia's orphanages and institutions from 1930 to 1970.

"We come together today to offer our nation's apology. To say to you, the Forgotten Australians, and those who were sent to our shores as children without their consent, that we are sorry," he said.

"Sorry that as children you were taken from your families and placed in institutions where so often you were abused. Sorry for the physical suffering, the emotional starvation and the cold absence of love, of tenderness, of care.

"Sorry for the tragedy, the absolute tragedy, of childhoods lost. Childhoods spent instead in austere and authoritarian places where names were replaced by numbers, spontaneous play by regimented routine, the joy of learning by the repetitive drudgery of menial work."

Hundreds of thousands of poor children, including some 7,000 child migrants from Britain, were ripped from their homes to live in poorly monitored state and church-run homes where many were abused, ignored or forced to do unpaid menial work.

The statement has already made waves in Britain where Prime Minister Gordon Brown is set to apologise to more than 130,000 disadvantaged children who were shipped to Australia and other former colonies.

The comments also echo Rudd's historic February 2008 apology to Australia's downtrodden Aboriginal population for their mistreatment since white settlement in 1788.

A 2004 Senate inquiry recommended the apology after unearthing hundreds of disturbing stories from children placed in care after their families broke down, their mothers were unmarried or they were considered uncontrollable.

The probe found widespread assault and emotional, physical and sexual abuse, as well as neglect, humiliation and the deprivation of food, education and medical care.

Many never knew their parents or siblings, or even their own names, which could change each time they moved accommodation. Sometimes they were referred to simply by a number.

"The truth is, this is an ugly story. The truth is, great evil has been done," Rudd said.

Many of the children were not told the truth about what happened to their parents, while their families were lied to as well, the inquiry found.

It said the legacy of these experiences had left many people emotionally scarred, with many resorting to drug and alcohol abuse and an "abnormally large" percentage committing suicide.

Some victims are still in prisons and mental health hospitals, while others suffer depression and feelings of worthlessness. Just days before the apology, one man who campaigned all his life for forgotten Australians killed himself.

"You have that insecurity and lack of self-esteem and all of that with you forever," Caroline Carroll, who chairs the Alliance for Forgotten Australians, told AFP ahead of the apology.

"That feeling of never being good enough doesn't go away."
- AFP/so

 ---------------------------------------------------

 

I am not a beacon of many causes, hopes and dreams. I know that there is a lot of "I-dont-care" vibe in me and I am highly conscious of that. Plus, I am neither a negotiator nor a bargainer. Throw me in a sea of people and I dont stand out. In fact, I dont want to stand out if standing out just mean by different for the sake of it. But...human rights issue is something quite dear to me. Protecting our rights to live and prosper is something I really feel strongly for. To be abused, humiliated and be enslaved, those are the worse things that can ever happened to a civilisation.

 

So excuse me if I dont really care about poor services in malls, sub-par food in a mid-level restaurant, people who cannot really speak your language, trains which come a minute too late and weather which is too hot or too cold. It's too tiring to be caught up in such hate-lists. What do I get in the end? Extra gift? Free dessert? A minute of fame? Credit card waiver? Imagine the bad karma the other party throws back at you. Wow.

 

Note to self...don't sweat the small stuff. We are all meant for much bigger things.

 

Anyone can rob me of my comfort and material goods.

They however cannot rob me of my freedom.

I is Braveheart!!!

 

Crappy afternoon indulgence here. Back to work.

 

 

 

P/S: Aussie, now, do ensure the process of rehabilitation can salvage the situation.

 

 

 

###

Friendship train

I wanted to bluetooth the pictures I took yesterday during Ismail's hen/cock party when the phone jammed. After rebooting, the pictures were then gone...just like Amelia Earheart (the movie which I watched just now. Not bad, by the way).

All the pictures are gone. The lousy players at the bowling session, the heartburn-inducing dinner, the unique ice-cream experience, the hilarious bonding session at Keppel Bay and beancurd supper at Geylang...all G.O.N.E.

All I've got is this clip below...and it's not even complete because Jo and Sean weren't in the picture yet. Still...I hope to get the pictures from Ismail soon.



Mail...hope you had a good time. I sure did. Tini...you can go ahead and marry Mail already. Heheh.


P/S: AMELIA was cool. A bit slow at some points but it did induce some tears. I really like to see people chasing dreams and actually achieving them. Even if it means not being able to get out of it alive. Rock on.

P/P/S: Sha, wish you were there. You too, Gracie.


###

You're not sorry

I so could relate to this song even though I am almost twice of '15'. 15...one of the sweetest times I've had.

Taylor Swift - Fifteen (New)
Uploaded by Henrietta-Aime-Fumer_Tv. - See the latest featured music videos.

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
And you say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way

It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
"You know, I haven't seen you around before"

'Cause when you're fifteen
And somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Feeling like there's nothing to figure out
Well, count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be
Fifteen

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool
We'll be outta here as soon as we can

And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car
And you're feeling like flying
And you're momma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one
And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

'Cause when you're fifteen
And somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin 'round
But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried

'Cause when you're fifteen
And somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

Your very first day
Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors (Taylor Swift)


P/S: Things went awry when we were 16 ... just when I was about to leave high school. (kicks drama mode) Love was never the same again.

P/P/S: Oh, he went to marry at a young age and now has a couple of kids.


###

Domino dancing

Lauren said The Killers are coming. THE KILLERS ARE COMING!! Jan 24th
2010 at the Indoor Stadium...11 days after freaking Green Day!

Now, I just need Foo Fighters and Pet Shop Boys to come and my concert
collection of my favourite groups (those which are still un-disbanded
and alive at least) will be complete. Woohoo.

...

Okay.

2 days ago, the mother told me last year, my auntie told the mother
that she (auntie) wanted to matchmake me with her old neighbour. The
mother told me that he was a divorcee (not a widower, Lauren. Sorry
wrong info!) with no children. The auntie told the mother that he was
a good man with good background. The mother did not like the idea
because she was quite suspicious of the word "good". Good on you,
mother.

Anyway yeah...the mother didnt like the idea of her daughter getting
together with a divorced man. Because of her scepticism, the idea
naturally didnt come to me and well...phew!

That's a snippet of my life.

Till next time...it's back to work.

P/S: Lady Gaga's Bad Romance is still stuck in my head and I think
it's a fucking fabulous tune!

###

Bad romance

I am sooooooooooo in love with Lady Gage's latest single - Bad Romance. She's awesome!



I want your psycho
Your vertigo stick
Want you in my rear window
Baby your sick
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love
(Love-love-love I want your love)

You know that I want you
('Cause I'm a freak bitch baby!)
And you know that I need you
I want a bad, bad romance

I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!)
I want your love and
All your lovers' revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

###

Around the world

I am still alive and home. Had a good rest in Hong Kong...lots of sleep and lots of mindless walking and (window) shopping. Ate nonsense stuff also. It's all good, generally.

 

Lao Lee, thank you for having me over and..you're welcome (cause I was the best companion you've ever had hahahaha).

 

More next time.

I need to unload my dirty clothes and junk from the bag.

 

Been there done that messed around
I'm having fun don't put me down
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet
I won't let you in again
The messages I've tried to send
My information's just not going in

Burning bridges shore to shore
I'll break away from something more
I'm not to not to love until it's cheap
Been there done that messed around
I'm having fun don't put me down
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet

This time baby I'll be bulletproof
This time baby I'll be bulletproof

I won't let you turn around
And tell me now I'm much too proud
To walk away from something when it's dead
Do do do your dirty words
Come out to play when you are heard
There's certain things that should be left unsaid

Tick tick tick tick on the watch
And life's too short for me to stop
Oh baby, your time is running out
I won't let you turn around
And tell me now I'm much too proud
All you do is fill me up with doubt

This time baby I'll be bulletproof
This time baby I'll be bulletproof
This time baby I'll be bulletproof
This time baby I'll be bulletproof (La Roux)

 

###

Waiting

It's 0900hrs and apparently, I am still waiting for the bloody boarding call. Am so tired and sleepy.

Oh the boarding call is heard.

Ok bye.

###

Paper plane

When was the last time I took the plane alone?

Was it in 2005 when I went to London to meet Grace and Ting?

Wow...4 years.

 

Anyway, here I am at T3 waiting for the gates to be opened. I was done with packing at about 0530hrs, after much procrastinating. Just grabbed and dumped in the bag so there is a very good chance that I'll be Miss Mismatched in Hong Kong later. But ah...whateverlah, huh.

 

All right. Boarding anytime now.

 

Watch this space.

 

 

 

###

Holiday

It's 0300hrs and I am still packing. Granted, I only started 20 mins ago. Yaaaaawn.

My flight is at 0940hrs and that means I should be there around 0745hrs. I will leave house around 0630hrs and take a train there I guess. I hope it doesnt get crowded just yet.

As much as I want to take break, the heart is not 100% in it. I have tons of work and yet, I need to clear my leave. I am in need of sleep...just good ol' quality snooze. Maybe I can do that. Lauren can go shop till she drops, I just want to ..zzz..

Okay.
Get on with the packing.
By 1400hrs, I will be here.
:)

Be good, people.



###

My place

Think I am dehydrated and burnt by the hot sun today.

Anyway, I just want to have a big shout out to CY2 aka Hazelicious. Happy birthday, babe!




Gladys, Valli, CY2 and I had a 'birthday' karaoke session. As expected, things got crazy and went a little out of hand. Such a bizarre birthday celebration cause our idea of a birthday song was 50c's In Da Club. Word!






Hope you like the little gift from me. Nothing much but I thought it was ..urm.. cute. Nevertheless, have a good one and many best wishes :)



Heheh.


P/S: Watched Love Happens on Monday (J.Aniston and A.Eckheart)and I thought it was subtle, underdog-gish and quite good. Yay!


###

Gone till November

Just came back from a little trip to the Asian Civilisation Musuem with the students (Tuesday's Activity Day). Oh man, it's scorching like...hell. Dammit.

 

Brought them around to Fullerton, take the underground escalator to One Fullerton and chill at Starbucks before coming back to school. Now...dammit, I need to prepare for class. In an hour's time!

 

On a brighter note, I bought my return ticket from HK to Singapore already. Now, I need to change some money and pack my money and I'll be good to go. To Hong Kong this Thursday.

 

 

P/S: The coughing is not getting better. In fact, I feel asthmatic.

 

 

###

Losing my religion

Okay. The installation is done. I have officially been Mio-ed.
I still have my Starhub...the box sets are all piling.
Damn you, Manchester United.

Right now, we have more remote controls than we have people in the house. On top of that, my TV has run out of "outlets". I need to take one cable out next time I want to poke my Wii wires. I think this sums up one thing. I need to get a TV in my room strictly for Wii. You know why...cause I am eyeing that bloody DJ Hero (@$199) and Rock Band Beatles.

Oh yes, sir. I am making up for lost time, redeeming all my childhood; a time when I was supposed to play and have insane fun. I was so serious and deprived as a child so now...ambik kau...take it. I am going to short circuit the whole house down.

Muahahahamuahaha*cough*muahahaha.

P/S: Okay. Better play Wii before the father comes home at night and snatches the TV and all the remotes away from me.

P/P/S: Fuck. Am still deprived. Damn you, father.

###

Vindaloo!

The bloody SingTel Mio guy called to say if it's okay he came to my place early. So, I hurried home. I already took half day but I thought of doing some errands first before coming home around 1600hrs. But he requested to come early and so we agreed for him to come at 1500hrs.

It's 1530hrs now and he hasnt appeared. I am getting pissed because (a) I could have come back later and (b) I am sleepy and I want to sleep. This is is so stupid. Maybe I shouldnt even subscribe to this Football Frenzy package. Everything is stupid. Football is stupid. Cable TV is fucking stupid. SingTel is stupid. Argh!!!!!!!

Go berambus and mampus, lah!!

P/S: Oh he's here. This entry didnt really happen. Hahaha.

###

We gotta get out of this place

Am planning the timetable for the new University programme which I am in-charged of...and my god, the first "fiscal" year ends on the 10th of January, 2011.

I'll be almost 31.

My God.
My God.
My God.

I need to get out of this place before I get stuck.

###

I just can't stop loving you

Yesterday (Saturday) was chaotic. The house was buzzing was the mother organised a baby shower (kenduri of some sort) for the sister-in-law and the guests started streaming in at about 1630hrs. From then till about 2200hrs, I was busy in the kitchen. I just plonked dead at 2300hrs, unshowered. I was trying to hang on (for dear life) because Man U were playing Blackburn at about 0130hrs. I only managed to wake up on the 70th minute. Didnt manage to see Liverpool got gutted by Fulham also. Damn.

Sunday was supposed to meet JLo, A-Go-Go and Abercrombie for brunch but that didnt really work out. I didnt want to wake up early at 0900hrs and they had to go off by 1300hrs. In the end, I met Meiling at 1600hrs and we watched Michael Jackson's This Is It. We had actually bought the tickets 2 weeks ago though I think we shouldnt have cause the theatre wasnt full anyway.



It was amazing. I had tears of joy watching the docu-film-concert after the initial 5 minutes of apprehension. MJ looked so tired malnourished but..oh well..I was soon sucked into the preparation of the mega concert. MJ's energy was so powerful even when he was beat. I could only imagine the power he had when he was much younger and at his peak. Gosh...I just hope this man will finally be able to rest in peace.

And damn, the males dancers were hot.
Sizzling.
Maybe I want to watch this again.
Or..hah, DVD.

Looking out
Across the night-time
The city winks a sleepless eye
Hear her voice
Shake my window
Sweet seducing sighs

Get me out
Into the night-time
Four walls won't hold me tonight
If this town
Is just an apple
Then let me take a bite

If they say
Why, why, tell 'em that is human nature
Why, why, does he do me that way
If they say
Why, why, tell 'em that is human nature
Why, why, does he do me that way

Reaching out
To touch a stranger
Electric eyes are ev'rywhere
See that girl
She knows I'm watching
She likes the way I stare

If they say
Why, why, tell 'em that is human nature
Why, why, does he do me that way
If they say
Why, why, tell 'em that is human nature
Why, why, does he do me that way
I like livin' this way
I like lovin' this way

Looking out
Across the morning
The city's heart begins to beat
Reaching out
I touch her shoulder
I'm dreaming of the street

If they say
Why, why, tell 'em that is human nature
Why, why, does he do me that way
If they say
Why, why, tell 'em that is human nature
Why, why, does he do me that way
I like livin' this way


I guess...me too.


P/S: Hong Kong in 3 days!


###

Boogie nights

Am still reeling from the euphoric yet traumatic experience of judging TooMuchCrap's Got Talent competition. We had:

1. Local Indian boy singing Indo song from Nidji
2. Indo boy singing an English Christian song
3. Indo boy singing "I'm Yours"
4. Indo girl singing a Plain White T's song
5. Indo boy singing an Indo song
6. Korean boy singing Korean song
7. Indian boy singing Jay Sean's "Down"
8. 2 Indo boys singing Alkaline Trio's "Love Love Kiss Kiss"
9. French girl singing French song
10. Indo girl singing Lady Gaga's Paparazzi

The first 9 were nice and tame. #6 and #5 (my student) were damn emotional while singing their ballads. #1 did a little beatboxing. #2 was so earnest it made me feel like I was in church camp. #3's voice was ...melting. #4 was a bit too laidback...but I think she looked good though. #7 was trying to be smooth like Jay Sean but he was a bit too nervous and the song was too fast for him as he was breathless most of the time.

#8 was a personal favourite - very unassuming guys with punk-rock vibe and cheery voices. #9 was a bit of a mess - nervous and forgot her lyrics. It shouldnt have been a problem because we couldnt understand her anyway. Now...#10, who happened to be my student, was very bizarre.

She started to jump soon into the song and 3/4 into it, she started to fling her hairband and almost wanted to unzip her jacket to throw it away. But when she was about to unzip, she realised her boobs were on the verge of falling out. She already brought the house down with her antics and dancing (she was on the floor at some point!) and if she were to flash her boobs, that would be a horrific experience. Anyway, she got through to next week's finals.



High entertainment value and well..what can I say..the crowd (boys..tsk!) loved her.




Irda, Abegail and I ... the judges.


All the contestants plus hosts and main organisers.

Madness!


P/S: There's going to be a baby shower thingy at my place tomorrow. The mother planned something for the sister-in-law.

P/P/S: Oh 6 of them got into the finals next week - #3, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 10.


###

Sing a song of sixpence

TooMuchCrap's Got Talent Semi Finals is starting soon and I am one of the judges. I am having a stomachache (but not yet ..you know..ripe enough to let it go haha) and what if I need to go in middle of the show?

Urgh.

###

Whatcha think about that?

Stitch, a colleague, just compared the teachers in TooMuchCrap with the sex slaves in Geylang. Both us and them prostitue ourselves. We're all doing a thankless job and we have to deal with all sorts of crap.

But...the prostitues have it better.

They can choose their clients (we cannot) and be rewarded immediately after job (we don't, obviously).

I cant choose and I am almost free-of-charge.

Fuck me?

##

15

The trip to Hong Kong is confirmed. Accommodation, thanks to Lao Lee, has all been settled. I just need to get my ticket home and I'm good. I bought one way SQ because I thought my air miles werent enough to garner a free ticket. Then I realised SIA had a discount thingy and damn...I cant get a ticket for my intended return leg. Maybe the flight is full or something (cause it's a Sunday) Worse come to worse, I would have to fork out money and take JetStar home. Or I extend one more day till Monday and hope that I can get an SQ flight home free of charge.

Yes, I am cheapskate. But why spend at all when you can get it free, right? Besides the money will be better spent on other things.

December may see me dropping by KL to see Tan who is getting married then. That, from experience, no need much planning. So no worry.

Right now, I have been googling for my Vietnam trip in February. Planning is still under radar because my kaki, Meiling, has a bigger trip to worry about. She's going to *envy mode on* Denmark and Norway in December to visit a friend and to have an extremely white Christmas. Good for her. She has worked her ass off.

So...let me just start thinking about Vietnam. By the time I come home, it will be Sha's wedding. Wow. Time flies like crazy!

A thousand times goodnight and goodbye, o youth.


###

Get here

It's nice to know that someone actually looks up to you high enough to seek your advice in 'serious' matters.

A former NPCC cadet actually asked me if it's wise for her to make certain career moves. I have not seen her for 2-3 years and yet, she appeared out of nowhere to ask for my 2-cent's worth. Granted, she might be at her wits' end and had no one to ask. Okay...fine. Hah. Whatever.

I have one more who is in NS right now and is having a hard time coping. He has been trying to pour his woes to me but I have been evading. I dont think I should be the one listening to this. Am I just biased? I have listened to him a few times but honestly, there's nothing much I could do to help him. And he's been getting on my nerves. Calling and asking me to talk to him. Hello. I am not your girlfriend. Urgh.

Eh, where was I?

###

Face down

Just had a one-on-one conversation via email with The Gulag and she gave me a 'smiley' emoticon.

Now..this throw the 'system' off-balance.

What the hell am I going to do with the emoticon?

Hahahahaha.
Lame.

###

Blood sugar sex magik

Maameemoo: (man-coos) What is this? So sweeeeet!

Ed: It's just chocolates...nothing much.

Maameemoo: It's so sh-weet. (reads the front note) "Happy birthday, Mr Maameemoo. Dear Haji Maameemoo, may your life continue to be filled with sweetness. Regards, your neighbour." So sweet.

Ed: Huh..it's nothing.

Maameemoo: I am going to tell my wife about this later. I mean, she knows about you...

Ed: Why wouldn't she know about me? (mocks) Why is it a secret?

Maameemoo: Hahahaha like an illicit affair..hahha. Anyway, yeah, gonna share this with my wife when she comes over later.

Ed: For lunch? You have class tonight? I thought you'll be in the afternoon shift. (thinks: Thank God I didnt hire a stripper for him at lunch. Or buy a cake)

Maameemoo: No I am on split shift. That's why my wife is coming during lunch. We can go watch a movie or something.

Ed: Or get a room!

Maameemoo: Eee. Get a room? Eeee...You're disgusting!

....

I am disgusting?

Come on.

Don't lie.

I would get a room too if it's my birthday and I have a spouse who wants to spend the afternoon with me before going back to work in the evening. Now, that is sweet.

###

Mambo Italiano

Beckham is going to AC Milan come January.

Good for you, B.
Good for you.

###

Masquerade

The cough is getting irritating and is hurting my throat.

Other than that, I am feeling damn cold here in the Mass Comm room.

in 30 mins' time, I can go home.

The joy of being broke.

###

Almost gone

So yesterday was work day and I stayed in the office till about 1700hrs where the mother and sister then picked me up in a cab and we then headed to the Singapore General Hospital. The auntie was warded on Friday cause she had been awfully sick and was vomitting. Crap man. The mother visited her on Tuesday and though her speech was problematic, she still looked cheery. Then on Friday, things took a bad turn and she was sent to A&E. The mother was with with her and she said it looked bad. I, on the other hand, had stupid class to conduct and I couldnt be with her. If anything had happened that night, I would have burnt down my office.

Anyway, yeah. The auntie was all the more dazed on Friday, sicker and unable to express herself due to cancer encroaching her nerves, screwing up her motor and speech skills. I got the updates at night after work from the mother as I was trying to read the newspapers. Couldnt focus on what the heck I was reading after that.

So Saturday afternoon was spent at SGH. The uncle said that the wifey was much better that day. After being admitted, doctors gave her steroids and somehow that helped her neural cells (or whatsoever) and she could string logical sentences and all.

As SGH's stupid rule was to allow only 2 passes to visitors at the same time, the sister and I were stuck downstairs waiting for my other relatives to come down so that we could take turn. However, we did find a little flaw and by 1830hrs, there were quite a few of us by her side. Hah.

Oh one thing I must add. My uncle had the most horrible day yesterday. After admitting his wife at the hospital, news broke that his elder sister, who was based in Kota Tinggi Johor, had just passed away. Cancer, also. Wow. Imagine the feeling?

So in the evening the uncle decided to make his way to Johor alone as his sister would be buried on that very night itself. By the time he reached Johor, there was no more bus as it was near midnight. He then had to take a cab to the house...which cruised along dark roads. Anyway, by morning he was back in Singapore to tend to his son and wife. Gosh. Dear God, please give him the strength and patience. We're behind you, Cik Ni.

So at the end of the day, it was the mother, the sister, the cousin, the uncle and me by the bedside. We tried to keep the air light and breezy. I was getting dizzy looking at the busy traffic of nurses in the oncology unit. My...cancer is a really common, common thing. I think a ward at the end of the corridor is potentially having a fatal one cause many teary-eyed relatives were outside.

The mother said on Friday, one patient in the same room as my auntie passed away. Death is lurking at every corner, ya'll.

Then it was time to leave. Hugged and kissed all around. Could see the hesitance in the air. On her part..her hubby's...her son's...us.


God give them strength, health and patience.
Please.

No news today. Didnt visit her. I didnt even step out to catch some sun today. I just moped at home and prayed. That's all I did, really. Last night, I really pleaded and begged till my eyes went horribly swollen. Today, I just wanted to rot.

Oh.
Am nursing a brewing headache.
Horrible cough
Bad throat.
Maybe God is really swapping us.
Maybe He really hears me.
Here! Here!
I'm open.


P/S: The game sucked. Man U sucked. Football is a fucking stupid game anyway. And oh, if you havent talked to me for the longest time and suddenly you appeared to taunt my Man U loss, what the fuck man? Grow some balls. Why didnt you talk when you lost all those stupid games? Grow some balls and while you're at it, go fuck a midget.

P/P/S: For the first time, I am not interested in catching the latest of Grey's Anatomy. I read up on cancer recently and all those medical terms are still swimming in my head. I am in no mood to watch medical trauma and see/hear carcinoma in what ever shapes and sizes. Maybe later in the week.


###

This is it

While they were doing the dance, I was slogging away at North Bridge Road.

Pooh.


###

Crazy train

Tonight's my last film class for Monash and it's going to be a film which I had never seen before.

 

So I took the film home yesterday and woke up early to watch it. It was 70 minutes of suspense, panic and resignation. Elephant by Gus Van Sant was 'modelled' after the Columbine massacre in 1999. It plays up with the myths and assumptions surrounding the incidence with aesthetic artistry. At the end of it, I was shocked yet jaded. Disturbed but yet, progressive.

 

Urgh.

 

Movies messed up your head, people.

 

And that's a good thing.

 

 

 

P/S: Why don't they make Brutal Legend for Wii? Why?? Why???

 

 

###

Heartbreaker

She hasnt returned my message. Is she sleeping? Is she still keying her reply? Or has she broken down in tears...cause her hands can no longer do what her brain and her heart want her to do?

Heartbreaking.

###

The power of goodbye

Thank God I have you, blog-o.

The mother just went on and on talking about the auntie. She went over to her place yesterday while I...went on a denial mode and decided to go karaoke instead. If Bibik were to die last night, I would never forgive myself.

Her memory is fading and she has reached the lost and confused stage. Remember how Izzy (from Grey's Anatomy) was after the major op? Her memory failed occasionally and she suffered bouts of frustration. Well, Bibik is getting all that too.

When people ask her questions, she might suddenly forget how to speak. She forgets words...everything's a blank. The mother said she'd then break down in tears. She would be holding her handphone and suddenly she couldnt remember how to text, what to text or what the fuck was going on. Then, she would cry.

Are you feeling shitty already? Imagine how her hubby and son feel? Imagine how she feels?

5 tumours.
All in terminal stage.
Take care of yourselves, people.

I know she is holding on the best she can. She has been holding on for years now. A part of me (us) wants it to end...stop all the suffering nonsense. Yet a part of me wants her to stay...be around to see me start a family, buy a house etc etc.

Think we have to really deal with it. I think by telling her that everything will be fine, if she is here or not, will be cool. I dont know. Shit. How the hell do u deal with it? Argh! Crap.

I think I'll tell her that I love her ...now. My dear darling Bibik, I love you as much as I love my parents. I love you because you have always loved me for me. I loved you for you always have me in your thoughts. I love you for your great outlook of life. I love you so much because you're you.

Okay.
Now...I need to tell her that.


P/S: First, I'll call singtel mio tv for their football frenzy promo.

P/P/S: I'm number 1 when it comes to acknowledging the power of denial and procrastination. Yes ..yes...I know.



###

Run to you

Major headache alert.
Lethargy is sweeping in like tsunami.
The world in a swirl.

###

Don't speak

News have just came in that she has gotten worse.

 

She can no longer talk.

 

 

 

###

Eve of destruction

*slams head against the wall*

 

How do I make the Crusades and the Seljuk issues more interesting?

How do I explain the concept of the Holy Land in Chinese?

Will showing Kingdom of Heaven be useful?

No, right?

 

Crap.

Crap.

Crap.

 

 

P/S: Am suddenly reminded of my 'Macbeth' episode. You know...during the time I was doing relief teaching in a secondary school in Yishun? During that fateful Literature class where I compressed the Shakespearean tragedy in a few profound Mandarin words? I was brilliant! Hahahahahahaha.

 

 

###

Back to the U.S.S.R

The Berlin Wall crumbled 20 years ago. How long will it take to break your personal wall? Will you still be alive 20 years from now? Are we ready to break the god damn concrete walls? Or is yours made of steel?

 

Mind fuck, seriously.

 

Today is Global Culture class day and it's chapter 3 - religion. Great. More specifically, on Christianity and Islam. Whoo-pee. Last week I did a little prelude...talking about Catholicism and its Counter-Reformation movement and its stand against Protestant. I hope the students get it. Was thinking of role playing but decided to give the idea to the drain cause I was afraid of being blasphemous. Anyway, last week..realised the students were more interested in the history of the modern wars rather than on religions. I amazed myself at how I could memorise the historical accounts...I would have been great in History and Geography if my stupid secondary school had allowed me to take them, rather than the stupid Principles of Accounts and A Maths. It screwed up my life and I totally hated my upper secondary school years. *grumblegrumblegrumble*

 

Anyway...yes, religion today and we're going to focus on the concepts of 'fundamentalism' and 'ecumenism'. That means, we are going to talk about church fanatics, hardcore rabbis, hardline ayatollahs, etc. Need to make a disclaimer at the beginning of class. Need to declare that whatever we mention in class today is not my pure judgement or imagination but historical facts and figures of the material world. Need to declare that we should not discuss things in class to hurt each other (cause I have a Benetton ad of a class) but rather, to set things out in our pursuit of ..ahem..world peace.

 

I hope people participate. I mean...yes, my voice is lovely and all but it gets boring if I were to hear myself for 3 hours non-stop.

 

To the classroom!

 

 

 

P/S: Should have brought the Bible and the translated Quran to class. Damn.

 

P/P/S: Hahahaha...I had 'Bible', 'Quran' and 'damn' in one sentence! Okay cheap thrill.

 

 

###

I want it that way

Now imagine if this is set in a Malay context. What kind of food will a Malay lady go crazy for? Hahahaha...sambal belachan? Asam pedas? Telur asin? Bergedil? Petai?

Kicaaaaaaaaaaap!


###

He said she said

CY and Gib...speechless.





###

Julia says

Spent my Sunday afternoon in town, finding refuge from the searing sun. Caught 2 movies at Cineleisure - Funny People + Julie and Julia.



FUNNY PEOPLE is not supposed to be funny so I am a bit pissed reading reviews which slam it for not being funny. The only thing funny about it are the title and Eric Bana, okay?

Other than that, it's a sad portrayal of a comedian/celebrity's life. At the end of the day, it's about who are you fucking with and who's fucking you up really. Funny People is a mature treat from Judd Apatow and I use the term 'mature' loosely cause his frat and fart jokes are all still intact. It's just that he has gone slightly darker that's all. Hey, no sweat with me. As long as Seth Rogen continues with his witticism and stonerism, I'm all in. So yeah, I acknowledge this film is not funny but hey, not all funny people are funny all the time. It would have been even better if the film isnt so long, though.



JULIE AND JULIA is kind of awesome, especially whenever they have Meryl Streep on screen. The retro part of the film is great while the modern part with Amy Adams...not so great. It's good but, not great. This is definitely a feel good movie with food. Lots and lots of yummy, delicious, scrumptious food. I felt like running out for a good juicy steak while watching 'Julie' cook beef. It has that kind of effect on you.

This film to me is fluff. Nothing much to think about and nothing much to scratch your head after - which can be a good thing after you had sat through 2.5 hours of Funny People (it's too long!). Still, I recommend this over My Sister's Keeper anytime.


[End of review]


Yesterday, Weiling organised her daughter's 1-month-old celebration. I came at about 1830hrs with Liah+bf and Clara+bf joined us later in a bit. KC and BK were also there, sans partners. Thank God...otherwise, I would just dig a hole and die in a partner-less pit. I am okay with being single. It's just that when I feel singled out for being single...now, that's a sticky one.

Anyway...Megan!








###

Din daa daa

Did I just moonwalk/airwalk/glide?????

I think I just did!

I am an old B-girl wannabe!

Sent from my Nokia phone

Keep me in your heart for a while

Caught up with some of the gurlfriends at Weiling's place and then at midnight, went to catch a show with Lauren.



My Sister's Keeper, the movie, is different from the book. But then again, it's kind of expected because it's a Hollywood production and Hollywood always wants to please us. Nevertheless, it's still a bucket of sadness, despair and maybe redemption (depends on how you see the ending) and it will bring a tear or two (or bucket loads) to the house.

Maybe you shouldnt watch this if your loved one has cancer and you are not ready to deal with it. Maybe. Hey, what do I know?

I didnt see her today. We didnt see her today. I cannot bring myself to see her all by myself. How would I react? What would we talk about? You know, I remember telling her (at the beginning) to be strong and fight but, after watching the show, I asked myself: Does she want to fight this anymore? Has she accepted it and not want to fight anymore?

I asked the sister just now when I got home and she said of course the auntie wanted to continue fighting this battle. "She wanted to see (her son) grow up. She wanted to see me get married. She wanted to see YOU get married," she said.

Wow.
That again.
That's not the first.
The mother told me that too.

It makes seeing her even harder. The thought of not being able to do it for her is horrible. But of course, I'll get by and try to live by telling myself..she's not my mother. She cannot make me feel guilty. She does not have the right to make me feel guilty.

Right, Ed.
She's not your mother.
She's just someone who used to take care of you
Watched you grow up and live your life
Watched you travel the world on her behalf
Hell, you had more fun with her than with your mom.
How could you say she's not yout mother?

Fuck. I mess my own head sometimes. Maybe I should be the one with cancer. Committed to no one, no responsibility, no baggage, no aspirations, no place of my own, no wealth, no one's fighting to keep me alive, no dependants. No strings attached. None.

I make a very good candidate.
Swap us.


###

She

Oh...it is also because 'she' is losing her memory. She is drifting away from us. She is beginning not to respond. She is beginning to show signs of losing it. She is rapidly fading away. She is leaving us, surely, behind. She is leaving home. She is leaving earth. She...will soon be gone.

:(

Sent from my Nokia phone

From whisper to a scream

I am having a twisted and depressng Deepavali.



Leave me out with the waste this is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you
It's the wrong time for somebody new
It's a small crime and I got no excuse
And is that alright yeah?

I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright yeah?
If you don't shoot it
How am I supposed to hold it?
Is that alright yeah?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright yeah, with you? (9 Crimes, Damien Rice)


[got reminded of this song when I was watching the latest Grey's Anatomy earlier]


Every thing seems potentially heartbreaking. Every thing's a potential deadend. Maybe I'll see hope tomorrow or on Monday but today, the world sucks.


P/S: I dont think I should watch Donnie Darko right now. Am in my dark and twisties. Donnie Darko can wait another day lest I am dying to hit a nervous breakdown.


###