Zooropa!

One hell of a weekend I had and where did it go to???

Man U won, Chelsea won (check out my football blog at the side). I slept for 17 hours, waking up sporadically for a total of 30 minutes to shower at 0600hrs and to answer several smses. I left the house 2045hrs, apparently still groggy, to meet CY2, Adrian and Vinz. We all ended up at La Cave @ CHIJMES.


The scoreboard read 3-0 by the way.
Life was sweet.

The second match saw us moving to Cosafe.




My prediction was right but oh well, it did pain to see CY2 burying her head in her hands in sorrow. Oh well.

Right now, it's past 0400hrs and my tummy doesnt feel good ... must be the mix of greasy pub grub and such.

Screw the books, I'm hitting the bed.

A thousand times goodnight, Giselles, Peles and Kakas.


###

Night time is the right time

Am craving for yesterday's mango-pomelo dessert again. This time, I want a whole pot of it. With the bloatedness all gone, nothing can stop me from all this "cooling" stuff.




Some morning I had.

Met Meiling at about 0620hrs at the void deck and then we headed to AMK Central for breakfast. Yes, we had toasts and prata at 0630hrs in the morning. God knows when was the last time I had breakfast this early. After that, we cabbed to Alcatraz.

The girls had their campcraft competition this morning at the Police Academy. The sun was brilliantly scorching, sparing no one from its searing torture. My face is slightly sunburnt come to think of it.

Met many old friends from the days of training and my, how "aged" some have gotten. But ah, it's obvious that their passion hasnt died down. They still want to dedicate a big part of their lives to the cause of the corps. Crazy, but really admirable.



What would the world be without passionated/spirited people?
People, like *ahem* us? :)

..
..

Anyway yeah, the girls did good today even though the flag couldnt go up and that the shelter collapsed after severe wind blows. It was one of the rare times that they managed to complete everything (including the gadget) within the stipulated time. Considering that they started training only in January and that my cadets can be difficult, this is a great feat.

So yeah. I'm just glad for the girls and for Meiling (the chief campcraft trainer). The competition is over, everyone can go back to their daily grind. No more backbreaking sessions under the hot sun.

Rushed to school without lunch and prepared for class for the one and only Izzy, who came 30 minutes late. It's the first class for Newswriting class and well...nothing much to say. The basics wouldnt take 3hours ... so I went really slow.


S-l-o-w.
L-o-w.
O-w.
W.


And now it's pouring like crazy. Was thinking of hitting Borders or some movies... but what the heck, it's like Sin City outside...gloomy and doomed. Except there's no naked ladies running around.

Wait, maybe there are.
It's just that I am stuck here in the classroom.
Freezing my tits off.


Sejuk lah babi!!


###

Megalomaniac

It's a very Good Friday and I thank God (no biblical connotations) for allowing me this day because I can wake up when the sun shines its glare right down my pale face. It stings my eyes but well...it beats having the 2 3 4 alarm clocks ringing in my ears.

Last night after work, Lauren and I headed down to Cineleisure. I managed to drag her to catch Jack Black's latest offering. Definitely a clever move hahahahaha.









After watching Death at a Funeral last year, I didnt expect I can find a movie which almost made me pee (and shit) in my pants out of hilarity and absurdity. But lo and behold!

BE KIND REWIND was totally nasty! In a cramp-inducing, thigh slapping, forehead slapping kind of way.

The plot is unbelievable of course. Come on, a man gets electrocuted and then he walks into a video store and he magnetises all the tapes, erasing the contents. Customers walk in to demand a tape, man and store keeper has to re-enact the wiped-out movies. It's like every film maker's dream come true, man...to re-enact Ghostbusters and classic King Kong!


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jerry: Listen to me. I need to you say the line. I need you to say "I will piss on the bones of your ancestors" ...
Mike: No, no! That's not in the movie!
Jerry: This is the next Lion King. This is Part II.

...

Mike: [holding the Ghost Busters tape] I'll be Bill Murray and you'll be everyone else.

...

Jerry: [sung, poorly, to the tune of the Ghostbusters theme song] When you're walkin' down the street...
Jerry: [singing] ... and you see a little ghost...
Jerry: [singing] ... whatcha gonna do about -
[more out of tune]
Jerry: Ghostbusters?
Mike: What? What is that?
Jerry: That's the Ghostbusters theme song.
Mike: No.
Jerry: I'm pretty sure it is.

...

Jerry: I will shoot you. And I know robot karate!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


When Jack Black and Mos Def were doing the Rush Hour 2, I almost died. It was hilarious - "Chinese bamboo...very strong!"

BE KIND REWIND will be an extra hoot to film fans. Being able to identify with the various sweded movies is enjoyable, almost to the point of hysterical. There is also a little tribute to the Italian fare Cinema Paradiso right at the end...and that's sweet! Anyway, I dont think I can enjoy watching the original Ghostbusters and Rush Hour. WHy...these improved and compressed versions (20 mins each!) are much better!!!

So yeah. If you are looking for a side-splitting, migraine-inducing, nightmare-instigating humour, watch BE KIND REWIND. If you are willing to sponsor, I will watch it again with you and I'll throw in loud guffaws.

Heh.
Heh.
Heh.


Talking about side-splitting humour, I had another round of epidural-like, laugh-your-ass-off session just now with Jeslyn, Qiqi and Yay-bel. We headed to Apollo Centre around 1400hrs; to Cash Studio, where we sang our heads off. Jes and Qiqi sang their standard SHE, Jay Chou (huo huo huo huo huo huo huo huo!!) and FIR stuff while Yay-bel and I were far more adventurous and attempted those with almost satanic screams a la chicken begging for mercy before being sent to KFC.


"Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate
The lives of everyone you know
And what's the worst you take
From every heart you break
And like the blade you stain
Well I've been holding on tonight

What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and good night
So long and good night" (Helena, My Chemical Romance)


It was gila babi, lah!

Headed off to Chinatown after that cause I was craving for the mango-pomelo dessert. Qiqi left after that, leaving the three of us to continue walking to The Cannery where we parked ourselves at Coffee Club and sat there for almost 2 hours. Then, we headed to Boat Quay and ended up by the river opposite IndoChine. At about 2145hrs, we all decided to call it a day.


That's it.
Friday's gone.


My NPCC girls are having their CampCraft competition tomorrow and the bus is leaving at 0700hrs. Exactly! What an unlikely hour! That also means, I have to meet Meiling at 0615hrs and we then shall have to make our way to Yishun. Need to lug Snow White too cause I have work at 1300hrs.

Mentioning work, tomorrow is the start of a new lesson for my part-time Diploma class. Yeah, this class has only 1 student though and if he decides not to show up, I will basically talk to myself about the wonders of creative writing.

I have been getting a lot of job emails lately, many seeking writers, editors and copywriters. Some offers look so good and I wonder what it would be like to take them up.

I admit, as much as I like being a bloody academic, I kind of miss the creativity of being in the industry; the eccentricities and the liberty of being expressive. Not that I cant be an eccentric lecturer (they'll just call me "cuckoo") or an expressive one, it is different when you are out in the industry. You dont really feel like a freak cause your colleagues are equally "artistic" and freaky. Hahaha.

So yeah...I miss being in the media. The fact that this industry isnt exactly kind to the "non-youths" makes it all the more depressing cause my youth is slowly slipping out my short stubby fingers.

Come back o youth!


..
..


Awrite. Many things to say cause I have many things convoluted in my brain. But, think it's time I get out of here and be more "productive" elsewhere. Wait, it's already 0400hrs. Screw preparing for class already. I'm heading to bed. Need to wake up in 2 hours' time.


A thousand time goodnight, devil children.


P/S: O spare me, please. Dont drag me into this mess. I have never said anything these past 10 years and I definitely dont want to say anything now. Why cant we all just pray for the best? Spare me the drama.

P/P/S: Right now, relationships put me off.


###

Music of my heart

Cold, cold water surrounds me now
And all I've got is your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now,
Or am I lost?

No one's daughter allow me that
And I can't let go of your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
or am I lost?

Oooo, I love you
Don’t you know I love you
And I always have
Hallelujah
Will you come with me?


Things have been bugging me these past few days. Not only that, work has been shiteous also. Then, not soon before long, this long weekend will be over. Wait, what am I talking about? I am working tomorrow (Sat).

What long weekend?

Sharinah was hospitalised last Sunday. Girlfriend had fever and bronchitis and then, anxiety attack. It doesnt seem to look like a good year for gf so far. Let's hope things will take a turn for the better soon.


Laughter is always the best medicine.
Sometimes, letting something go is the best thing you could have ever done.

Oh well.
Please take care of your health, people.


Anyway anyway...


Tuesday saw me flying down to Yishun after work to meet Meiling. We rushed down to the dingy Yishun 10 to catch a show. Though the place was dubious, the movie was a breath of fresh air...and tears.






AUGUST RUSH screams "Likeable!" and although the plot almost wholesale-y borrows Dickens' Oliver Twist and the openers are slightly cheesy, the film progresses well and and pacy.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

August Rush: It's like someone's calling out to me, only some of us can hear it.
Wizard: Only some of us are listening.

...

Hope: You remember how you said Mozart was a musical prod?
Reverend James: Prodigy.
Hope: Yeah, well, I've got one of those and he's living under my bed!

...

August Rush: I believe in music the way some people believe in fairy tales. But I hear it came from my mother and father. Once upon a time, they fell in love.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


It's very hard not to fall in love with Freddie Highmore in August Rush. He is the perfect Oliver Twist and there's a shade of Haley Joel Osment (pre-alcoholic days) in him. It seems to be his time too, with Spiderwick Chronicles in the theatres at the same time. He has been in many good films, this boy - Charlie and the Choc Factory, Finding Neverland, Chronicles and this. Of course...I shall forgive him in The Golden Compass. He's a child, it's not his fault.

It's not hard to like Jonathan Rhys Meyer and Keri Russell either. The latter's curly yet beautiful hair is like a source of encouragement for me not to chop my hair off. At a time when I have lost faith in follicles, she shows me the sign. And Meyer...I cant imagine anyone more perfect to play a tortured singer. Damn emo singer.

August Rush has plot which is definitely not realistic. But...if you want realistic, go watch News on 5.

Hmmm....even then, you cant be sure all the news footages are real.

Shalom.


###

A day in the life...

I...need...a...break.


I hate you, you, you and you.


Go away.


###

So sick

After spending a gazillion bucks on school's dvds, I realise that I cant play Double Indemnity on my laptop.

I hate myself.

It's 0200hrs and I am utterly depressed. Oh, I can only get my reimbursements together with my pay at the end of the month. There goes my flight money.

Pissed.
Bloody pissed.

A thousand times goodnight, piss pot.


###

See you again

The internet connection in school is full of shit right now.

Oh, the Quality Assurance Lady (QAL) has just brought a Cambridege representative to the MassComm room. QAL told him:

"This is the Mass Comm room."
"We want to make it into a studio."
"We have some equipment here to facilitate the Mass Comm students."


Right.
Right.
Right.


The last time I checked (which was 2 minutes ago), we had 3 studio lights (no idea for what fuck), 1 small television, 1 vcd player, 1 spoilt personal computer, 6 outdated movie posters on the right wall (gladiator? school of rock? lotr2???), 8 outdated movie postcards on the left wall (kill bill? last samurai? shrek 2??) a small portable white board and a cupboard full of rubbish. If this is what you call a studio, God knows what you'll call Radio Heatwave.

Maybe their idea of a studio is the one where old people stay when their children dont want to take care of them; barely furnished one-roomers.

Anyway...

Visited Sharinah at Tan Tock Seng Hospital last night after work. Bitch got high fever, bronchitis and some uber-rapid heart beat shit. Stayed till almost 2100hrs and then I reluctantly went off when the patient next to her "softly hinted" that I was disturbing her sleeping realm. It wasnt me. I was whispering very softly. It was Sharinah!

Oh well.

I am god damn fothermucking sleepy. The period is screwing my whole body system up. I fell asleep last night on the floor as I was doing my work. Wanted to rest my eyes for a while, I layed on the floor for about 2 minutes. Of course the next thing I woke up, it was already 0730hrs. Didnt plan what to wear earlier and so i was stuck in decision making. Grabbed my Roxy hoodie shirt, cropped cardigan and my slouchy pants. I look more like I'm up for a day at Cottessloe beach than anything else.

I am just waiting for someone to walk up and say, "Wah, you're very casual today ah?"

And then I, with tired dreary eyes, can say, "Company didnt give me enoufh money to buy clothes."

God. I can barely open my eyes.


###

No milk today

 

Enough of the weekend's trivial pursuits and temporary happiness. It's back to the grindhouse.And today's grindhouse starts with a 3hr lecture on the Nation State and its policies. The start of my workweek cant get any more serious than this.

 

Policies, regulations, laws, anarchism, marxism, postmodernism ... being an urbanite is so hard. The idea of retiring in either Malaysia or Indonesia is so delicious right now. I dont mean KL or Jakarta but some remote areas where I can just be buried in my own backyard. Prior to that, I will survive on organic food, breathing the clean fresh air of rural regression and arrested development. Oh the pretty flowers.

 

Okay.

 

Let's my ass off so that I can escape to my rural pension house.

Life's an ironic bitch, as always.

 

 

###

 

 

The more you ignore me the closer I get

...aisey, Morrissey!


I am tired.
That's an understatement.
But then, I asked for it, right?

Friday caught a show with the guys after work.







STEP UP 2: The Streets is just like any other dancing movie - it's not that great but entertaining nevertheless. And anything that has Channing Tatum dancing and sweating his stuff (even though he's just a cameo here) is good for me. That white boy sure can dance. Ok...gymnastics, rather.

For that, I'll ignore the laughable script.


xxxxxxxxxx

Smiles: Yeah, they wanted me to fix my teeth.
Jenny Kido: I like you teeth!
Smiles: Thanks, I like your accent.
Jenny Kido: What accent?
Smiles: That accent you got... You have an accent.

...

Tuck: Yo, why my crib smell like funyuns, broccoli and ball sweat?

...

Andie: I remember the first time I saw someone move like they were from another planet, I couldn't keep my eyes away. I was little mom took me to a jam session in the neighborhood, it started off small but word spread and soon some of the best dancers around were showing up to compete in something they eventually called the streets. It became home, I got a front row seat to history. I wanted to glide and spin and fly like they did, but it didn't come easy. My mom would tell me don't give up, just be you, because life's too short to be anybody else. She was right. When I was 16 my mom got sick and in a couple months she was gone. Everything changed, including the streets.

xxxxxxxxxx


Right. They should just talk less and dance more!!

I actually prefer Step Up 1 but haiyah, it doesnt matter. The choreography in this new one is sick. I was like, "No! That's not humanely possible!" and I was just referring to the part where they danced in the rain, supposedly on the tarred road. You cannot do that without injuring yourself, bitches.

STEP UP 2: The Streets is typical and it can get a little painful with all the standard stereotypes thrown in for good measure - the sexy mami chulo, the language-handicapped Asian, the thuggish blacks and all. It also looks like it's made by ambitious white people who want to claim the streets, ya'll. I mean...white people own the malls...but the streets now? Really?

But but but, honest to goodness, the dancing is sizzling mad. I wanted to break out into some manic freestyle there and then (midnight @ AMK Hub's Cathay) but we know that's probably a disgusting sight. Yeah, I am a wannabe street dancer... because I (can) dance like a Red Indian on speed. And they dont do that in clubs.

Shall just keep it till the next day...
Saturday.

Woke up late and had to cab down to Arab Street to meet my author. We didnt lunch at Hajah Maimunah this time, opting to have Nasi Briyani across the former instead. Chatted quite a bit before proceeding to our standard post lunch place at Raffles Hospital Ya Kun. Discussed about the books, he paid me and all was swell.

Walked around Golden Landmark in the hot afternoon sun after that to look for cheap airfares. Didnt find any so I took a bus to Chinatown and yeah..got it.


$1760 to JFK Airport on Etihad Airways.


Etihad pun Etihad lah, even if it means I have to transit at Abu Dhabi for a little while. Comfort myself that I am stepping into the biblical middle eastern soil even though it's just for a while.

Went over to People's Park and of all things...to do my nails. Since the menses are here, I decided, well, I cant pray anyway so yeah, let's paint nails. At 1830hrs, rushed down to Somerset to meet the ex-students: Yay-bel, Qiqi, Jeslyn. We went to the Sakura buffet and ate myself silly, thanks to the unlimited mussels and scallops.

By 0945hrs, we were outside OBar waiting for Doraemon. We went in quite early and well, we were there before the place got god damn packed. The rest was of course history and as expected, nights at OBar almost always end up with a bloody brawl. This time round, it seemed like there were a million cops outside. And oh..2 ambulances. It's crazy.

And Sunday.
Sunday bloody Sunday.

Cant believe that I could actually be in town at 1115hrs when I just went to bed at 0600hrs. Nani and I went to KBox and did the stuff. I had a splitting headache from the loud music but well, it did go away momentarily when I held the microphone in my hand muahahahaha. Ended at 1400hrs, we split and headed to HMV to buy stuff for (sigh) work. Then it was to Paragon Metro where I parked myself at the Osim Corner to have my back messaged. I chose the "High intensity" option and almost keeled over and died. Sakit, siol!

So yeah. Window shopped and got meself ... power juice to cure my headache. I was looking for Oxford heels but couldnt see any nice ones. Been wanting these for the longest of time! I saw some tacky ones with heels as high as the sky. Dumbass, how to wear?



Yeah, like my NPCC boots, only with heels.


If I could make these myself, I would.
I mean...
If I could get the mother to make them for me, I would.

Got home around 2030hrs, showered, read the papers and fell asleep at 2200hrs only to wake up 5 hours later.

Here I am.
Bloody.
And attempting to do work.

Attempt fail.

Shall go read GLAMOUR and my beloved ELLE instead.
I shall dream of that black-white Oxfords later again.

Who needs love (and sex) when you are busy with the quest of finding the perfect shoes?

A thousand times goodnight, clacketty-clackers!


###

Take it to the floor

Stayed at work till almost 2200hrs, trying my darndest to mark the mounting assignment. Bull crap. Heah.

Watched Step Up 2...so-so.


Sleep.


###

So why so sad?

 

Salut.

 

The past few days have been very..erm..profound.

 

Film class saw me screening my own Scorsese's Raging Bull. It was supposed to be Double Indemnity but the school couldnt get it in time for me. I bought Breathless  vcd but at the 11th hour, I realised that the French fare had only Chinese subtitles. Chee bye. *knocks head for not checking first* Lucky it was just $7. Anyway yeah, Raging Bull (with Ronin as another featured movie. Ew!) cost me $19 and I also got LA Confidential at about the same price. I am just stocking up my film analysis library here in my office.

 

We had meetings with the Cambridge representatives and well, their arrival had gotten the whole company buzzing; management prepping us up so as we didnt say out negative answers. Unbelievable, you know. Some human beings seriously need to be told right down to the specifics as to what to say. I dont really blame the management for having drilling sessions...some people are just..how do you say this nicely...retarded.

 

My interview with the Cambridge matrons was yesterday. After going through 3 days of intense training, I kind of had an idea of what they were going to ask me. However, as it turned out, my personal background and, haha, knowledge, was very colourful and we spent 3/4 of the time talking about it. Didnt leave them much chance to ask about any dysfunctionalities that are in the company. Not that there are many for sure.  Uh uh, no Ma'am!

 

See?

The training helps.

 

Later in the day, the matrons crept into my Diploma class to check me out. Only had  6 students and 1 came 2 hours late. Talked about globalisation yesterday and as always (yes stupid habit of mine. save Ed, save!!) , I deleted my slides at 1315hrs (15 mins to class) and I had to conduct lecture purely by insane knowledge and instinctive memory. Think I did pretty all right. Yay for me.

 

Didnt have night class last night because the Cambridge visit threw everything off course. For once, felt like I didnt know what to do. Of course I could bury my nose into the thick uni books but no...something else, I mean.

 

It was too rainy and cold to catch a show and walking to anywhere seemed almost impossible. So I hung out at CityLink. HMV, to be precised. There were 2 films I wanted to get. Been the object of my desire for so long. I had never seen them in HMV before but last night, they appeared - The Colour Purple ($61) and The Mambo Kings ($37). I also saw Double Indemnity ($57). I was holding on to these 3 for a damn long time. In the end, I bought none of them. Too expensive. I bought Born Into Brothels and Amelie vcds for Rae instead.

 

 

Yeah...

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, RAE CHEN SUJING!

 

 

Oh yeah. Got meself an Audio Technica headphones instead. It's still cheaper than any of the DVDs that I craved. Oh well.

 

Think I may just get Double Indemnity and get the school to reimburse me.

I need it for school, lah.

 

It's finally Friday and I just done with McD lunch (yes again). Sad...I always eat crap when I am alone at work. Urgh. Just got meself a magazine and 2 books --> Love in Time of Cholera and one global affairs book. The former was bought on a whim. I seldom read narrative fiction but yeah...I still have many fiction still untouched at home. Bleah. I read boring stuff. Things most people dont want to read...like classical greek philosophy and politics, comparative religion and erm..world maps.

 

Am losing money to the global economy.

Bloody capitalists pay me salary only to take it back sooner rather than later.

Never mind...hopefully I can find some money tomorrow.

 

Yes, people.

There's money to be made anywhere and everywhere.

 

 

P/S: David Hernandez is out...dammit.  Change plans: It's Jason Castro (just for his smile and locks), David Cook, Chikezie (like Chickadees!) and Brooke White for me now. Archuletta is beginning to bore me to death.

 

 

###

 

 

 

If I fell

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you, oh please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too, oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her
'cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
cause I couldn't stand the pain
and I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry when she learns we are two
If I fell in love with you (Beatles)


Yeah....sort of. I forgot how wonderful it can be.


###

Over you

 

I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED EDITING ANDREW'S BOOK!!!!!

2.5 MONTHS!!!!

IT'S OVER!!!!

 

Thanks to my PR student who is absent, I have time to finish up the book. Now, I feel so light headed and ..phew...relieved.

 

Now, let's tackle the NPCC one. Wonder what the hell is wrong with the management side now.

 

Jason Castro, I'll meet you later.

 

 

Home!

 

 

###

 

 

Catch my disease

There's the moon asking to stay
Long enough for the clouds to fly me away
Well it's my time coming
I'm not afraid to die
My fading voice sings of love
But she cries to the clicking of time
Of time

Wait in the fire...

And she weeps on my arm
Walking to the bright lights in sorrow
Oh drink a bit of wine we both might go tomorrow
Oh my love
And the rain is falling and I believe
My time has come
It reminds me of the pain
I might leave
Leave behind

Wait in the fire...

And I feel them drown my name
So easy to know and forget with this kiss
I'm not afraid to go but it goes so slow - Grace, Jeff Buckley


Wargh!!!!

I'm dying, I'll die, I'm dead.
I need to breathe.
Fight to breathe.
BREATHE!

Life is going by pretty fast lately. Things are done without much attention cause one is spreading oneself too thin. My author has been trying to contact me but I have (1)been too busy to talk to him and (2)been AWOL. Yeah I know. It is rare to hear a writer chasing the editor. It's usually the other way wrong.

Oh well. It has to be this way...if you are working with a *ahem* rockstar of an editor. My words, my rule. Err, your money.

Okay it's almost 0300hrs. Dont think I will be sleeping tonight.


"My head is a box full of nothing
And that's the way I like it
My garden's a secret compartment
And that's the way I like it
And that's the way I like it."


P/S: Out of all the time in the world, I choose now to get hook to a new book/subject/study. Just when I have zero time for unnecessary discourses, I have to pick this basic classical philosophy book and get upset with Plato and his Republic.


###

Where the white boys dance

I put up the blog disclaimer. Just because.


Busy. Tired. Recouping. Catching up on sleep unintentionally. Monash. Monash. Monash. And they say work is supposed to set us free. Spiritually, I am lagging behind. Need to get my groove back. Need to be in touch with nature. Urban jungle is stifling. Missing humility. Head's too big for my own good. Missing clever discourses. Long to read for fun. Weather's too cool for school. Where is my youth? Where is my path to redemption? Burn, baby, burn. It's in the mind, they say. But where is the mind? Where is it if it's not in sync with the heart? Where is the heart? Where the fuck is Plato? Heaven or hell? Purgatory? I need to tell him that he has screwed human beings. Where is Karl Marx? His words frustrate me. Go rot in hell, intellectuals.

Am losing my mind. Wait. How can I lose it if I dont know where it is? Klassik.

A heavy cross you bear
A stubborn heart remains unchanged
No home, no life, no love
No stranger singing in your name

Maybe the season
The colors change in the valley skies
Dear God I’ve sealed my fate
Running through hell, heaven can wait

Long road to ruin there in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow, no dead end in sight

Let’s say we take this town
No king or queen of any state
Get up to shut it down
Open the streets and raise the gates
I know one wall to scale
I know a field without a name
Head on without a care
Before it’s way too late

Maybe the season
The colors change in the valley skies
Dear God I’ve sealed my fate
Running through hell, heaven can wait

Long road to ruin there in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow, no dead ends

For every piece to fall in place
Forever gone without a trace
Your horizon takes its shape
No turning back, don’t turn that page

Come now, I’m leaving here tonight
Come now, let’s leave it all behind
Is that the price you pay?
Running through hell, heaven can wait

Long road to ruin there in your eyes
Under the cold streetlights
No tomorrow, no dead end in sight - Long Road to Ruin, Foo Fighters


To make it worse, I am more stupid than a 5th Grader cause I dont know 4th grade astronomy and 3rd grade life science. I dont deserve this life *rams head against the wall*


P/S: Watching ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER? will kill you. My child is so going to learn all these - astronomy, meteorology, botany, philosophy, art, comparative religion, communisn, satanism, alcoholism ... go live your life be free, sucker.

I wish you were here

I'm home, bitches. And am god damn tired now. But yeah...I have to clear some emails, read some updates and urgh, finish some unfinished business.

Buck up, buck up Ed!
Side jobs can help pay for your holiday, hair treatment
And lots of taxi rides.

Camp ended on an itchy note. The instructors planned a mud crawl activity and yeah, there was mud and Milo in the mix. I didnt even go through the course, just slapped some mud on the cadets - mud facial, mud shampoo, mud soap - and then I hose-d the kids down. That was enough to get me itching. Some princess-y skin I have here.


Must.train.to.crawl.on.mud.
You never know when such a skill becomes handy.

Meiling and I were so tired on Saturday that we couldnt make it for the 0200hr-fire-drill. If there was a real fire, we both would have become bbqed ham. I was doing some work on Snow White till 0145hrs ...and then I went to sleep. Meiling woke up at 0215hrs, looked left, looked right and then went to bed again.

Oh well.
It's over and besides, we have experienced so many fire drills in our 58 years (combined) of existence.

..
..

Reached home about 1530hrs, grabbed papers and rested on the bed. Fell asleep while reading the first paper but was woken up by the father rummaging through my bags looking for dirty clothes. Went back to sleep and woke up at 1700hrs. Shit. Was supposed to meet Lauren and Clara at 1800hrs at Clarke Quay.

Havent met Clara (and Weiling) for her birthday and havent met Lauren since she went to Sydney. We headed to The Pump Room, had dinner and stuff. I passed Clara her birthday present...hope she likes it.

[A milestone. Have reached the stage where I didnt mind spending more than the usual for a good friend's birday. I feel good. It's good to give haha. But yeah, it's all the thoughts that go into it that matter of course.]


Lauren gave her a little something for her to pucker with.


Here comes the card, written in Ed's finest handwriting, no less!
I looked so...pale.


A set of wine glasses tied with fake white roses.
Got them for a steal actually.
Thanks to a clearance sale.
Okay...too much info.

One more for the road. Okay...2 more.


Pale. almost jaundiced, people.


We chatted quite a bit...about the usuals.
It's nice to just be with close pals.
Blessed are we.


Tonight we drink to youth
And holding fast the truth
Don't want to lose what I had as a boy
My heart still has a beat
But love is now a feat
As common as a cold day in L.A.

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

I'm fettered and abused
Stand naked and accused
Should I surface, this one-man submarine?
I only want the truth!
So tonight we drink to youth!
I'll never lose what I had as a boy

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive
Without love I won't survive

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive - Love Hurts, Incubus

Love hurts, indeed. But hey, this is one kind of hurt everyone is willing to pick up again and again. Trust me.

*sigh* It's already 0330hrs. Dont think I want to stay up any further. Morning shift later. Fuck shit.

A thousand times goodnight, incubi, succubi and placentas.

###

Sometimes love just ain't enough

As we move on with the years and our lives, there are many things that come into our thoughts.

I know I shouldnt be apologising but still, I am sorry if my path doesnt go down the same way as yours sometimes. I have always respected your decisions so excuse me and take it when I say I dont feel the mood or am not in the right state of mind sometimes.

Give me a break...you know that doesnt happen usually.
Give me that.
Sometimes.


.......


Camp started yesterday and I was awfully tired. Stayed up till 0430hrs to prepare for my Saturday's PR class (yeah...i have classes on Sat afternoons now) and after a 2-hr slumber, I woke up and started my Saturday. Noon, I left camp and headed to work. On the bus, my one and only student sent me a message.

He's sick and couldnt make it to school!!

..
..

So here I am, in class.
A phantom class.

In an hour's time, I am going back to Alcatraz (the school in Yishun) and there will be the campfire. Stupid class. I could have been with the kids now. As sleepy and tired as I can be, but it's okay.

It's okay.
It's okay.

And to you people, let it be. It is okay. There is no harm in making mistakes. Let me say it again: It is okay. It is truly o-fucking-kay.


P/S: I hate this stupid culture/trend in us that says it is not okay to fail. Guess what? You fail, you try again. You fall, you get up. You make a mistake, you apologise. That's how you learn.

P/P/S: And screw what your friends say sometimes. I say sometimes.


###

I never asked to be your mountain

Oh!!

I lurve the guys on American Idol last night. My favourites are David Archuletta, David Hernandez and ooooooooooh Jason Castro.



Okay I'm biased. I love the locks and well, I love the song (Buckley's interpretation).
It's like my anthem emo song.

Ah screw preppy.
I shall go emo.

Jeff Buckley-Hallelujah.flv
Uploaded by Rock-90s

Ed's lullaby. Sheer brilliance. Cohen started it but but but...Buckley owned it.

Long live Jeff Buckley.

Okay. Work.


###

Grace

Was wide awake by 0700hrs cause I wanted to finish 2 sets of lessons for this afternoon and evening classes. Planned to go to the IT fair at about 1045hrs but someone woke up late and so...I am not going anymore. It's now 1030hrs and well...I have time to fix brunch!

Okay. Putting frozen lasagna into the microwave isnt exactly cooking up a storm. But hey, eversince I have my afternoon shift stint, I only manage to have Old Chang Kee snacks at odd hours. Lasagna is waaay better than sardine-o.

Anyway, think I'll pop by IT Fair at around 1700hrs after my afternoon class, on the pretext of dinner. Last year, I bought an MP3 player, a printer and a laptop cooler at the IT Fair. This time round...nah, not that ambitious. But then again...we'll see.



*Bleurgh!! Lasagna is still cold!!!!*


Teaches Marxism, policies and worldly matters but dont know how to operate the Microwave and cook a frozen lasagna. What a global failure!

Last night, I had Policy Class. Was struggling to comprehend the crap before I spat it out to the students. Maybe I have developed a mental block, you know, block away laws, policies and regulations for they are never appealing anyway. And you know I'm such an aesthetic being, right? O well. Policies, politics, economics are so not bohemian, man.

It's about being poor, starving and suffering for your art.
Get that, parents?

Okay, think the frozen lasagna is getting into me, man.

Talking about aesthetics, think today I'll do the pseudo-preppy girl look. Yeah, so much for being bohemian! I've been doing the nerdy-college rock scene for quite a while now, thanks to lack of time and pure malaise.


The college rock look



As if!


Awrite ditch the specs and bring on the stockings.
Nice weather for just a fleece blanket, though.
Work it, girl.


P/S: On 2nd thought, I think I cannot do preppy. But I really rock the nerd look.


###

Killing me softly

Testing testing.

 

Die, spammers. Die!

A kiss is still a kiss in CASABLANCA

Happy birthday, Clara Ng!


Just done watching the Champions' League. Manchester United and Arsenal are through. Pity AC Milan though...but then again, they had their glory, it's time to move on. Anyhow...woohoo for Man U.

Life has been bordering on dreadful. I am very tired and my sleep & meal times are erratic, to the point of starvation. Yup, body is beginning to eat its own fats and muscles now. Continuing like this, by June I'll be flabby-skinny. Hey, the skinny part sounds good actually.

Right.

Sunday morning saw me taking a cab with BerryBerry Strawberry to Suntec for the career fair. We reached early so we headed for breakfast. At the exhibition, traffic was poor, probably due to bad weather outside and the fact that people would rather go to the NATAS fair. Okay, fair enough.

I think it is not a great idea to have lecturers at the fair. Most of us were pissed off and we were kind of redundant. We had representatives from the various unis coming down and the sales and marketing people were also out in full force. And plus, lecturers are not cut out to do sales lah! Okay, at least the Mass Comm lecturers werent!

Talking about lecturers... a senior business lecturer (in terms of age and work experience) sort of "demanded" that I teach him about Integrated Marketing Mix. Like what the hell, when you first came in, I heard you yaya-papaya-ing to the boss, telling him you can teach anything and everything. Now you need my help? My help? Me? This pathetic Mass Comm newbie who has no business bone in her body?




Normally I would be flattered when people ask for my "expert" opinions (they are just opinions anyway) but this is ridiculous. I cant even remember anything about Integrated Marketing but he insisted that I teach him. Po-dah!

Anyway...yeah Sunday.

Idaho dropped by around 1230 and I conveniently excused myself from the career fair to have lunch with her. Came back...gave out brochures again and by 1530hrs, I was off-duty. It was the mother's birthday so I wanted to get a present before meeting everyone. Just then, the phone rang and the mother told me she and the whole ging gang goolie were downstairs at the basement. Aiyah...no time to get present.

Oh my way, I saw something at Watsons. Bought it for the mother. Subconsciously, I wanted this for myself cause my feet were killing me.


Okay lah...considering I was pressed for time.

Anyway, met them at Bali Thai and there was Lexie, the brother and gf, the sister and bf, auntie, her hubby and her son. Yup, everyone was well partner-ed up.

Didnt talk much except to my auntie, her hubby and her son. I just felt disconnected with the rest. No, it's not because the siblings were with their partners and the parents busy tending to Lexie and everyone else. I...just have nothing to say to them and well, I wasnt into the stuff they were talking about anyway. So yeah...just ate and entertained my little cousin.


The 10-year-old cousin

Yeah Nani, I totally get your point when you say that you hang out with kids at weddings. I dont like kids in general but I guess they make good companions sometimes.

Monday began my whirlwind tour of...work. Had a new class, taking over Auntie Manny's PR class. One male student only. It went okay and I let him off at 2030hrs. That's waay too early but what the hell, I was (ahem) too shy to stare at him any further. I am crap in one-on-one situation. Hence, no personal tuition for me, man.


Guess I am made more for an orgy rather than couple intimacy.
Hahahahaha.
Okay.
Ignore that.
I didnt say it.


Film Class was on last night (Tuesday) and my, it was Casablanca night. I had never watched it before and now that I have, what's the great hype????

Give me my 2hrs' back, Hollywood.


"Here's looking at you, kid."

Maybe it's the poor sound quality of the film or poor room accoustics. Have to admit, I have seen better films. But then, for something that was spawned in 1942, Casablanca must have been an epic.

Oh well.
Generation gap, I say.

Time now is 0745hrs on Wednesday morning. I should stay awake and prepare for classes today or even finish up 20+ pages of Andrew's unedited script. But I think I shall take a nap and wake up at 0930hrs.

Hungry.

Later.


P/S: Drats. Sun has risen (duh it's past 7!) and the rays are beaming onto my face. I shall not be moved. Pass me the pillow.

###

Sugar sugar

Okay okay okay.

Last one...Part 3 of 3. The funniest.




All right. Back to work. I swear.

Zapin usik mengusik

Ni bangsa tak ada kerja.
Eh...ada kerja, cuma tak nak buat.
Mari kita ketawa sakan.

Sakansakansakansakansakansakansakansakan!


Robots in disguise!



Benny Lava never fails!



A little retro mama-loving here.


This next one...check out 3:17.


Just kill me!

Sakansakansakansakansakan!!


###

Welcome to my life

 

"Latest update.

 

The escapee Mas Selamat has entered Malaysia. The Malaysians have put signs all over the country ...

 

SELAMAT DATANG!"

 

 

For that, Hira got a "Dumbass!" from me.

 

 

 

P/S: SELAMAT DATANG = welcome ... or ... Selamat is coming.

Ain't no mountain high enough

Tonight, one of my nightmares will come true.
I have to teach Public Relations.

God help me.


P/S: The irony is that tonight, it will be about crisis management. Teaching it is a crisis indeed. Oh well. Ain't no valley deep enough, ain't no river wide enough, baby.


###

Close to you

Dammit.

 

That Harimau Singh has taken Auntie Manny's now-vacant seat; the one I've been aiming for so long. Now I have to wait for SourGrapeChoo to leave in order to have a seat nearer to my cupboard. God knows when he will leave haha.

 

Hungry.

 

 

###

Luv your life

Okay. I am getting a little teeny weeny bit carried away by Youtube here. But...if it makes me feel good, why the fuck not.

These two beautiful (but waaaay underrated) songs accompanied me when I was struggling to complete my assignments and loneliness back in Perth...in the wee hours of the morning...in the winter chills. Yes, sometimes I get emo like that.




"Cause I only have one second, this minute today
I can't press rewind and turn it back and call it now
And so this moment, I just have to sing out loud
And say I love I like and breathe in now.
And say I love I live and breathe in now" (Breathe In Now, George)




"Never seen the sunshine
From higher points than sunrise
I don't wanna be lonely
I just wanna be alone" (Across The Night, Silverchair)


Yes, those times. Those great times. I cannot imagine life without me packing my overloaded bags and run 6 years ago. I cannot imagine being the person that I can be without having those short yet significant moment.

But why do I feel like I am still struggling sometimes?
Yes, it seems like I have a lot of growing up catching up to do.

We always, always have to have a cause, my friend, even if it kills us. A life without passion amounts to a whole lot of nothingness. It's about sucking the marrow out of life...it will never stop until it is the end. So, live and let die, my friend. Live and let die.

A thousand times goodnight, bohemians and green fairies.



P/S: Bought the mother a cheap foot massager for her birthday as I had no time to shop further for one after the career fair. Subconsciously, I wanted it for myself. Now...when can I dunk my feet in them?


P/P/S: It's 0100hrs and I am beginning to start my editing work. Yes, I get high with little sleep ... and I get high with a little help from my friends. No...they are not John, Paul, Ringo or George. Heh.


P/P/P/S: Okay. I have no idea, and cannot make out reasons, as to what the hell I've just written.


###

Curbside Prophet

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to get you but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
And I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothin's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more no more
It cannot wait
I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
A la peaceful melody
It's your godforsaken right to be loved
love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate
I'm yours

I been spending way too long
Checking my tongue in the mirror
And bendin over backwards
Just to try to see it clearer
My breath fogged up the glass
So i drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm sayin is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more no more
It cannot wait
I'm yours
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
It cannot wait
I'm yours (Jason Mraz)


Think God is trying to tell me something. He just has to make it very very clear to me cause I tend to be blind/deaf sometimes. Anyhow, I should just let the world do its work while I continue seeking my cause.

And yes, I should try to ignore the sharp edges that come my way. I cant guarantee that I will be successful all the time for I am sure there will be times I'll get cut. But I'll try to get meself off the bender.

Get off the bender and keep on swimming, Ed.
And while you're swimming, enjoy it.


"You are an illuminating anchor
Of leagues to infinite number
Of crashing waves and breaking thunder
Tiding the ebb and flows of hunger
You're dancing naked there for me
You expose all memory
You make the most of boundary
You're the ghost of royalty imposing love
You are the queen and king combining everything
Intertwining like a ring around the finger, of a girl
I'm just a singer, you're the world
All I can bring you
Is the language of a lover
Bella luna, my beautiful beautiful moon
How you swoon me like no other..."


Later.


P/S: No matter what you say the show is ending our way. You've gotta stand your ground for freedom, beauty, truth and love.


###

By the way

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to the mother, Weiling and also to Xinhua Press
Happy birthday to you!!



####

Love of my life

You have no idea...


I spent the whole of Friday at Suntec City, manning a booth at the career fair. By the end of the day (around 2030hrs), I could barely walk for my feet were killing me. However, due to utmost hunger, i decided to meet Nani for dinner after that. So...I slowly made my way to town.

Today (Sat) saw me waking up at 0545hrs. I then met Meiling at about 0615hrs and we made our way to the NPCC unit. Nothing significant took place other than the fact that we went out for a bit of shopping after NPCC.

Evening, we met again and watched CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR @ Cathay AMK. And here I am now, struggling to keep away after surviving football matches.

Now...I need to edit Andrew's overdued work.

Later.


P/S: have to go back to man the booth at the career fair tomorrow...from 1030hrs to 1530hrs. Come drop by and say hello to me, okay?


###