Breathe...just breathe

Head is getting heavy and heart is sinking to the deepest pit cause of guilt. Guilt caused by my slacking the holiday away...sleeping on someone else's bed, roaming around drinking fat coffee and even fatter, puke-inducing dinner. Now, workload is still the same, only time is reduced.

My body is aching.

5 o'clock and a fire escape symphony
Spilling out across the road and the square.
And the sky's the same as your own, do you think of me?
Do the parks, and trees, and the leaves reach you there?
After the rain, in the lonely hours he haunts me, calling out
Again, and again.

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning
It's a fire, a fire I cannot put out
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things I can't go without
And one of them is him

Now I walk these streets like a stranger in my home town
Learn the language, form the words when I speak
But he changed me, I'm his ghost since he came around
Now I count the hours and the days and the weeks

Passion and silence.
Every word
Every line
A measure
It's the science of the soul
And his books
They breathe a reason and now I want to know...

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning
It's a fire, a fire I cannot put out.
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things I can't go without
And one of them is him (Sophia. Nerina Pallot)

Sheesh...all this while I thought she was saying "Sapphire, sapphire"!

Sitting at the usual Yishun joint just now, I was quite overwhelmed with a gamut of emotions - tired, restless, flighty, desperate and probaby confused. Life is becoming too unpredictable and sometimes, I get the feeling that it is spiralling out of my control. Some may argue that it is probably because I dont really embrace God fully. Maybe that is true.

To my defence, I do try.
Not hard enought.
But I'll try harder.

As I sat there overlooking the waters, I wish that sometimes I would just wake up from a really long sleep and realise that my life has been just a really long dream. The future seems tad scary and scarier when you have to walk the line alone.



Just cant figure out how far and wide I should cast my safety net.

Aargh. Convoluted conspiracy theories be gone. I shall just stop here do more productive things.

...like think of names for my future daughters.

Hahaha. Think I want to be a mother next.

Shit.

A thousand times goodnight, mamacitas.


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