Take me out!

My turning 30 was not grand but it was well-celebrated nevertheless. It started on Monday, 18th January. I met my Da Jies and we went for dinner.






An array of eclectic (some bizarre) gifts from them two, ranging from DVD to calendar to make-up cleanser to a porcelain figurine to Snow White apple perfume(??). Still, thank you a million times.

We watched The Blind Side after that. Though I found it entertaining, I was perplexed by the overwhelming applause Sandra Bullock is receiving for her role. I mean...huh? Any other actress could have done it just as well or better. Plus, the movie wasnt as moving as any other moveable films (very "well-said" Ed..tsk!) so I really did not see the hoo-ha. I've seen better sports films..better developed real stories also. This one, not so much.



Is it because when I turn 30, I expected more out of a ... God forbid... Hollywood flick? Darn!

:)

On Tuesday, 19th Jan, my 2 bridging students surprised me during our Euro Cinema Class. They got me a cake (turned out to be my one and only) with a sole candle and for the life of me, I forgot that one had to blow the candle out before cutting the cake. What can I say...I lack practice.



My colleagues RiffRaff and Shawty also treated me to a sumptuous dinner in the evening and well...I felt bloated blessed. Thank you.

The actual day, 20th Jan, was...honestly...just another day. Apart from reciprocating the well-wishes, it felt like..any other day. Still, I am blessed. I had lunch with RiffRaff again at Hajah Maimunah's down at Bencoolen and after that, since it was my birthday, I took an hour to skive (sshh, dont tell!) and headed to the National Museum to visit the Egyptian exhibition..Quest For Immortality. Another reason I went was that my High Diploma students were there for a class excursion with Abecrombie.

Anyway, with my Mastercard credit card, I just paid $8.50 to get in. Cool.





When I got back to school, some colleagues and students lured me into a classroom. They then showed me a mini presentation. Irda and Abbie were hilarious at their bimbotic best. Career switch, ladies?



Hahahaha. These people...ever so creative. I like! Got a bag from the colleagues and a copy of the crazy vid from the kids.



Oh, Gulag also got me a little something-something. Gee...thanks? Heh.

So yeah...not a shabby one. Ended the day with a little din-din with Meiling down at J8. Lauren was supposed to join but...oh well.

It's almost 0430hrs and I ought to sleep.

A thousand times goodnight, birthday babies.


###

Pants on the ground

TIRED.

 

My birthday has been fantastic, thanks to fantastic people. I cannot imagine living without the good people. Seriously, my life would suck without you. Amen, Kelly Clarkson.

 

I am 30. My demands for making merry has changed. I am fine with that. Things need to evolve anyway, right?

 

However, in this time of joy (depends on how positive you are), I am still miffed that my auntie is not with me to wish me a "happy birthday". I've been getting birthday messages and wishes from her for a few years that it hit me really bad yesterday not to get one this year. I was actually tearing while waiting for dear Meiling at Bishan yesterday. Life is really a beautiful but perplexed ball of enigma.

 

But...I thank you God all the same.

 

Okay..time to go home.

More Pants On The Ground Loving on American Idol!

 

 

 

###

Because you love me

Thank you for all the lovely turning-30 birthday wishes.

 

I know it's a good day and all but I cant help but feel terrified. I know it's baseless because it's going to be okay but still...I'm terrified. Nevertheless, I thank you for being with me...sticking with me through all this while. So, thank you. my friends.

 

For all the wishes you gave, I wish them back to you ten fold.

 

Sniff sniff.

 

 

:)

 

 

P/S: Meiling gave me a range of Snow White stuff. It may sound ridiculous to you all but she's the only one who knows my obsession/fascination with the storybook princess. Hehe. Thank you!!

 

 

###

We are golden

0400hrs.

Golden Globes is starting in a few hours' time and I cant get to see it because I have morning and afternoon classes. Just finished preparing for morning class and man.. I ought to get me some sleep.


BEST MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
• Avatar
• The Hurt Locker
• Inglourious Basterds
• Precious
• Up in the Air

Ed: Have only seen 2. Cant decide on this. Avatar?


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
• Emily Blunt, The Young Victoria
• Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
• Helen Mirren, The Last Station
• Carey Mulligan, An Education
• Gabourey Sidibe, Precious

Ed: Sandra Bullock!


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
• Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
• George Clooney, Up in the Air
• Colin Firth, A Single Man
• Morgan Freeman, Invictus
• Tobey Maguire, Brothers

Ed: Tobey. I heard he gave his life for this.


BEST MOTION PICTURE, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
• (500) Days of Summer
• The Hangover
• It's Complicated
• Julie & Julia
• Nine

Ed: I like It's Complicated but maybe The Hangover will bag this.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
• Sandra Bullock, The Proposal
• Marion Cotillard, Nine
• Julia Roberts, Duplicity
• Meryl Streep, It's Complicated
• Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

Ed: 2 for Streep? She better wins this.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
• Matt Damon, The Informant!
• Daniel Day-Lewis, Nine
• Robert Downey Jr., Sherlock Holmes
• Joseph Gordon-Levitt, (500) Days of Summer
• Michael Stuhlbarg, A Serious Man

Ed: RDJ's the personal fav here.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
• Penélope Cruz, Nine
• Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
• Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
• Mo'Nique, Precious
• Julianne Moore, A Single Man

Ed: Penelope Cruz?


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
• Matt Damon, Invictus
• Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
• Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
• Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones
• Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Ed: Christoph Waltz, lah!


BEST DIRECTOR
• Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
• James Cameron, Avatar
• Clint Eastwood, Invictus
• Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
• Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

Ed: Kathryn Bigelow, can?


BEST SCREENPLAY
• Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell, District 9
• Mark Boal, The Hurt Locker
• Nancy Meyers, It's Complicated
• Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner, Up in the Air
• Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

Ed: Personal fav is District 9 here.


And I hope Glee can win something. Click here for more info.


###
###

21st century breakdown

Am feeling so groggy.
Sunday went by in a hazy daze, man.

In the evening, Rae popped by to pass me a nice little early birthday surprise.



Thanks, babe. You shouldnt have. I'll use it for my Perth trip even if it's a walking contradiction on my worn out backpack :)

So yesterday was a very rare Saturday for me. No work and no NPCC. Watched New York I Love You at AMK Hub and even though the story is not deep but its eclecticism is very artistic. Just like New York, I say. For that, I think the movie is successful. The film has many short stories and some don't flow/gel as well as they want to. They are also too short for you to develop deep emotions. Some big name actors appear in very briefly and you wonder why is there a need to cast them also.

But that aside, the film really depicts the confusion, the progression, the chaos and ultimately, the beauty of life in a bustling city. Maybe I am biased because New York is my favourite place on earth...but hey, whatever. Different strokes for different folks, all right?

I want to go New York!




My favourites were the ones with Orlando Bloom, Eli Wallach, Julie Christie+Shia LaBeouf and Robin-Wright . When the latter started to cry and Radiohead's No Surprises came on, I was like ... wow...ButtercupRobin is fantastic. As for Julie Christie, wow. She's phenomenal.

Oh. The various filmmakers were asked to adhere to three guidelines: They had only 24 hours to shoot, a week to edit and needed to give the sense of a particular neighborhood. Cool or what! Let's have Singapore, I Love You.

After that, Lauren and I met up with the soon-to-be-wed ShaFie near my place because they wanted to do some recording of us wishing them stuff for their wedding. It will be quite a hilarious segment if no editing were to be done. Doubt it, though.



Heheh.

And oh, my Killers tshirt came through the mail yesterday. Yay!




###

Longview

I need to get me a ukelele.
Where can I get one?


###

King for a day!

Lil Miss Freckles says:
cheebye man
fucking cheebye
going to sleep now

Juliette says:
cibai..qibai
ok go go..

Lil Miss Freckles says:
fucking cheebye
nite


Just another Ed-Sukii conversation.

...

Anyway, Green Day was A-MAZING!!!! I didnt take many pictures nor videos because I was busy enjoying myself. Was so so so mesmerised by those American idiots, especially Billie Joe. I felt 15 again. Such a wonderful feeling.



Coincidentally Nani and Andrew were also going so I hitched a ride from them from town. We were caught up in traffic and when I reached my seat, the opening act (The Prima Donna) was already halfway into their..err..act. Was just happy that Billie and gang were not up yet. Nani and Andrew had free standing tickets so they were lost in the crowd. I on the other hand, stood regally like a queen overlooking her sea of minions.




At about 2100hrs, lights went dim for a while and then...

(ignore the nonsensical mumbling)






Billie Joe's voice was crystal clear and Tre Cool and Mike Dirnt were so psyched up and damn energetic. There was a lot of audience participation which was very cool. Anyway, they did a lot of songs and here are some highlights (off youtube, thank you) of my favourite songs/performances of the night.

1. Wake Me Up When September Ends / Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)



2. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams



3. Hitchin A Ride



4. Minority



5. Jesus Of Suburbia (favourite!)




Madness!!




They sure brought the crazy!


###

Are we the waiting?

Main
Song of the Century
21st Century Breakdown
Know Your Enemy
East Jesus Nowhere
The Static Age
Holiday
Are We the Waiting
St. Jimmy
Coming Clean
Brain Stew
Jaded
Burnout
Basket Case
She
Welcome To Paradise
Hitchin' a Ride
Give Me Novocaine
Longview
Highway to Hell @Cover[AC/DC]
When I Come Around
King For A Day
Shout @Cover[The Isley Brothers]
Hey Jude @Cover[The Beatles]
Last Night on Earth
Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Minority
Jesus of Suburbia (!!!!)

Encore 1:
American Idiot
21 Guns

Encore 2:
Wake Me Up When September Ends
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)


---------------------------------------------------------

No Macy's Day Parade but .. oh well, at least there's Hitchin A Ride and When I Come Around.

Anyway, I try to like 21st Century Breakdown (the album), but...darn...I cant seem to bring myself to do it.

Shit.

Tonight, let's rock!


###

Grow old with you

Oh I watched IT'S COMPLICATED yesterday.

 

The film is about a divorced couple who somehow rekindle their romance (after 10 years of living separately) on their son's graduation day. Things get pretty messy because the man has already remarried and has a child. The man's current wife is the one whom he has an affair with while he's still married to the original wife. So...the ex-wife has now become the mistress and the mistress has become the "cheat-ee",

 

It's complicated ... but it is funny. Thanks to John Krasinski, Alec Baldwin and the glorious Meryl Streep.

 

It's waay better than "Have You Seen The Morgans?" (I wish I havent!!) and many other fluffy teenage romance shows out there. On top of that, it's fantastic to see older Hollywood actors/actresses getting the limelight and being able to carry ..ahem..romantic/sexual scenes.

 

Thank you Meryl Streep. You make me feel good about growing old.

 

Now...somebody pass me the ointment for my weak knees.

 

 

###

For your entertainment

Fwd: ETA Grant - Ed[SEC=UNCLASSIFIED]

From: <XXXXXXX@dfat.gov.au>
Date: 2010/1/13
Subject: Re: ETA Grant - Ed [SEC=UNCLASSIFIED]
To: Ed mailto:xxxxx@xxxxxx


Dear Miss Ed,

I refer to your email.

The reason why your ETA did not go through was due to your medical records.

When we received the scan copy of your passport, we refer it back to the
Australian Health Authorities.

They came back to us that it is alright to issue an ETA which was then
granted.

In future your medical records is no longer an issue.

Regards,

XXXXXXXX

ETA Liaison Officer
Department of Immigration and Citizenship(DIAC)
Australian High Commission, Singapore


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My medical record had expired. But it's because I am no longer an Aussie student.

Anyway...HALLELUJAH! Alhamdulillah!

###

I don't wanna know

So I bought a ticket to Aussie on Saurday and to go to the bloody country, I had to get a visa. So a facilitating agency did my visa for me and as Meiling got hers on the spot, mine... as expected, was denied by the Embassy. How did I feel? Pissed, of course. I had the same problem in 2006 and 2007. Each time, I had to go down to the Embassy, being pushed here and there and listened to crappy advice from old Chinese ladies who chided me for not applying my visa online. Bloody women. If I didnt have problems, why would I want to take the day off and rush down to the wretched place because you guys close at 1200hrs>

 

So anyway, I paid close to $100 each time to get my visa via the full-process application. I even had to get medical check-up. Yes, it was as if I was going there to study or for good. I didnt make such a big fuss then (just a short email in 2007) because time was short but this time, I have about one more month to the trip. So, my email got longer and more provocative. But still polite, dont worry.

 

On Monday, I emailed/asked whoever's in-charge that I am not coming down to the embassy am not paying extra to get my visa down. I also wrote asking if my name has anything to do with the application. Well, more specifically my father's name. How else can any other people get visa so easily and for me...rejected outright? I did contribute to your economy once upon a time, okay? Ingrates.

 

But yes, I still want to go.

 

So Tuesday went with no answer. This morning when I checked my email, a Miss Gan replied and said my visa has been granted. STILL WITH NO REASONS. I just want to know why. I'm glad for the approval but ..ARGH!...tell me why.

 

Grrr.

 

 

 

###

Bad medicine

I am so tired and am still with a bloody 2-day old headache.

 

Fell asleep at 0130hrs while doing some work/surfing. Woke up with a jolt at almost 0500hrs...in abject misery. Had a horribly blocked nose and a left ear. On top of the recurring headache, my throat was in so much pain, it felt like Hell was having a campfire.

 

Paced around the house trying to find something to unblock my ear. It was painful and of course, uncomfortable. Sinus...flu...all roll into one.

 

Anyway, today, I dont feel like dressing up and so, I'm just wearing my 'Revenge of the Nerds' tshirt and my slouchy pants. I am more worried about my headaches which are getting too frequent than..let's say..what to wear, okay. But, haha, it's just for today.

 

 

P/S: Today's the first day of European Cinema Studies (new module). Though without a doubt I love the subject, I doubt the students will.

 

 

###

We've only just begun

The period of long days and even longer nights have dawned upon me.

 

Classes ... it's only the beginning.

 

 

Argh!!

 

 

3 more days to Green Day!!!!

 

 

###

11 Januari

I just finished about 2.5 hours of DJ Hero

:)

Anyway, do you know what day is it today? It's 11 Januar(y) and I am reminded of Gigi, the Indonesian band and their hit song.



Sebelas Januari bertemu (Met on January 11th)
Menjalani kisah cinta ini (Embarking on a love story)
Naluri berkata engkaulah milikku (Instincts tell me you're mine)
Bahagia selalu dimiliki (Bliss that I'm owned (huh?))
Bertahun menjalani bersamamu (Years of journey with you)
Kunyatakan bahwa engkaulah jiwaku (Let me tell you that you're my soul)

Akulah penjagamu (I am your guardian)
Akulah pelindungmu (I am your protector)
Akulah pendampingmu (I am your companion)
Di setiap langkah-langkahmu (With your every step)

Pernahku menyakiti hatimu (I have caused you pain)
Pernah kau melupakan janji ini (You have forgotten this promise)
Semua Karena kita ini manusia (All because we are humans)

Akulah penjagamu (I am your guardian)
Akulah pelindungmu (I am your protector)
Akulah pendampingmu (I am your guardian)
Di setiap langkah-langkahmu (With your every step)

Kau bawa diriku (You brought me)
Kedalam hidupmu (Into your life)
Kau basuh diriku (You wash me)
Dengan rasa sayang (With your loving feelings)
Senyummu juga sedihmu adalah hidupku (Your smile and sadness are my life)
Kau sentuh cintaku dengan lembut (You touch my love tenderly)
Dengan sejuta warna (With a million colours)



###

I can see clearly now

Red and yellow and
Pink and Green
Purple and orange and blue

I can sing a rainbow
Sing a rainbow
Sing a rainbow too

Listen with your eyes
Listen with your ears
And sing everything you see

I can sing a rainbow
Sing a rainbow
Sing along with me

 

 

:)

 

 

###

Telephone

Move over, Bad Romance. I am so obsessed with Lady Gaga+Beyonce's gem, Telephone.



Hello, hello, baby;
You called, I can't hear a thing.
I have got no service in the club, you see, see
Wha-Wha-What did you say?
Oh, you're breaking up on me
Sorry, I cannot hear you,
I'm kinda busy.

K-kinda busy
K-kinda busy
Sorry, I cannot hear you
I'm kinda busy.

Just a second,it's my favorite song
They're gonna play
And I cannot text you with
A drink in my hand, eh
You shoulda made some plans with me,
You knew that I was free.
And now you won't stop calling me;
I'm kinda busy.

Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna think anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.
Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna talk anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I'm busy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Can call all you want,
But there's no one home,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!
Out in the club,
And I'm sippin' that bub,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

Call when you want,
But there's no one home,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!
And I'm sippin' that bub,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone
Won't make me leave no faster.
Put my coat on faster,
Leave my girls no faster.
I shoulda left my phone at home,
'Cause this is a disaster!
Callin' like a collector -
Sorry, I cannot answer!

Not that I don't like you,
I'm just at a party.
And I am sick and tired
of my phone r-ringing.
Sometimes I feel like
I live in Grand Central Station.
Tonight I'm not takin' no calls,
'Cause I'll be dancin'.

'Cause I'll be dancin'
'Cause I'll be dancin'
Tonight I'm not takin' no calls,
'Cause I'll be dancin'!

Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna think anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.
Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna talk anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.

Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna think anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.
Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna talk anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I'm busy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Can call all you want,
But there's no one home,
You're not gonna reach my telephone!
'Cause I'm out in the club,
And I'm sippin' that bub,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

Call when you want,
But there's no one home,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!
'Cause I'm out in the club,
And I'm sippin' that bub,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

My telephone!
M-m-my telephone!
'Cause I'm out in the club,
And I'm sippin' that bub,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

My telephone!
M-m-my telephone!
'Cause I'm out in the club,
And I'm sippin' that bub,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

Wooooooo. What can I say? Sometimes, my choice of music can be this gay :)

Anyway, yeah it's 12 days to my turning 30 and honestly, it's a sucky feeling. 30..sheesh. I've never imagined living past 27 because..you know..live fast die young kind of concept. I guess I havent gone fast enough. The auntie's passing and the tsunami of work didnt help things either. I am just trying not to drown in the shrouding misery.

So yeah, to combat all this sick-in-the-gut feeling of turning old, I've been showering myself with little (and some not so little) gifts here and there.

Heh.
1. Martoni shoes from Mustafa (remember seeing brand on Euro fashion blog..suckers)
2. make-up



3. another pair of shoes from Marks n Spencer
4. book on analysing the holy verse of Yasin



5. The Killers concert ticket
6. under clothings (trying to be very generic here)
7. Green Day concert ticket
8. Paramore concert ticket



9. La Boheme ticket (havent got it yet but soon)
10. A trip to Perth to visit the alma mater (yay!!)



11. Beatles' Yellow Submarine tshirt
12. DJ Hero!!





Hope there'll be more.
Hah.

Anyway, school term has already started and things at the office seem to be like getting out of hand. Admin work is taking quite a toll on all of us. Havent really got a break from the craziness of last semester and now...what..the holidays have ended?

Damn it.


P/S: Watched Did You Hear About The Morgans and well...it was not impressive and the formula was very tiresome. Thank God the movie was free...


###

Ride with me

The colleague just came back from his holidays and said that Nepal was a no-go. He wanted to go to Kathmandu but he said the political condition wasnt really very good and he went to Sikkim instead.

 

Yay. At least I dont have to feel bad about not being able to go to Nepal.

 

You see, Meiling and I planned to go to Hanoi during the CNY week but my Viet friends said it would be a bad time to go cause the city would be quiet as everyone would have gone back to hometown. Then our alternative destination was Nepal cause Meiling wanted to go to a cold place (and she just came back from Denmark/Norway. Sheesh!) and I wanted to say hello to Mt Everest. However, after her Scandinavian escapade, our dear friend got broke and we had to scrap my Sherpa dream. So right now...we are deliberating between Chiangmai/Chiangrai and ..ah...good old Perth.

 

I do like the mountains, eco-tourism and all but ...it's Perth.

And I want to visit Mt Lawley and the university.

 

 

###

The ghost of you

So much backlog but ah...it doesn't matter.

 

...

...

...

 

Saturday was a day spent at the beach with 3 friends - Ginny, Win and Riza. I was the only one who brought extra swimming stuff. Managed to coax Win into swimming and she ..well...carpe diem. Ginny was an enigma, going to the beach with sweat pants and no shorts. Riza, well, she found more joy laying down. But it was fun. Thanks, girls and see you soon.

 

My female cousin (I had gazillions of them) called me up yesterday asking if I had gone to the late auntie's place to commemorate the 7 days of passing. Told her I didnt and that I just prayed and read 'Yaasin' at home. She called to also ask if I had smelled/sensed anything funny over the weekend. She mentioned that her whole house was engulfed by a powerful floral scent and that her daughter dreamed of the late aunt. Her daughter also mentioned that 'Nek Busu' (my late auntie) was around to visit. She also mentioned that she dreamed of the late aunt sleeping beside her mother and when she wanted to go to her mother, the late aunt kicked her.

 

Funny.

My late aunt would have never done that.

 

So yeah, the cousin sounded a bit shaken. I told her dont worry and dont get sucked into all this bull crap. I felt a bit sad cause I didnt get this "experience" but after 5 minutes of such feeling, I told myself...it's not the presence of the aunt. It could be the presence of other spirits or worse, satans.

 

When a person dies, his/her soul departs the body. Though the body may be rotting in the grave, in Islam we believed that the soul will go to a place where it will rest/sleep until Judgement Day. The dead will never come into physical contact with the living (they can come in dreams, I think), nor can they hear or receive things which are presented to them after their death. This is because a wall will be erected when you die. This wall separates the dead from the living and this wall is non-penetrable. This wall is known as 'Barzakh'. There will always be the wall surrounding the soul until the day when the soul is awakened. That day is Judgement Day.

 

Barzakh is not the same as the post-death intermediate step of the Catholic's Purgatory. It is not a ritual or a process. Barzakh is a period where soul sleeps until it is awaken for Judgement Day.

 

So yeah, I told my cousin not to believe in all these. The auntie has passed on and her soul is no longer on earth. She shouldnt be here and we shouldnt see/feel her. We should just pray to God straight to allow him to spare our loved ones from torture and stuff like that. Told the cousin not to be shaken by the works of other spirits who like to prey on the weak and depressed. You see, children have weak soul (because they are young) and that's why they are more susceptible to disturbance and can feel all the evil surrounding them. That could explain why the cousin's daughter felt the uneasiness in the house.

Oh well. Just a friendly reminder, be you a Muslim or not, do not let sadness or depression overcome you. Cause when you do, evil forces will easily target you as prey. This is also another reason as to why intoxication (alcohol or drugs) is bad. It's because when you have no control over your mind, something else will control it for you. But yes, we are humans and we make mistakes. But I think it's good to know all these. Keep us grounded, I think.

So yeah...quit your moping, Ed. Life is wonderful.

...

Anyway, I received my first birthday gift (from someone other than myself) just now from an ex-student. It's just a little box of cookies from Mrs Fields but still...a gift! I am blessed. Thank you very much, Z.

 

Oh well.

Back to work.

 

 

 

P/S: The above is from the Islamic point-of-view and it doesnt mean that I disrespect the values of other religions. It's just my belief.

 

 

 

###

 

 

Respect yourself

 

I am feeling kind of morose right now, a chronic-by-the-day melancholy.

 

So excuse me if I don't feel like mingling.

 

It's not you, it's just me.

 

 

 

And please....don't trouble yourself.

 

Really.

 

Don't bother.

 

 

 

###

 

 

Deeper and deeper

Happy New Year's day to you all.


Remember the previous entry? The one I mentioned about Kris Allen's No Boundaries? I know it's of poor quality (cause I dont have the original and this is off Facebook) but hah, here's the version where the green wall has been replaced by letter boxes and lifts. We're just playing out this technique. Our knowledge will get better.

Enjoy.

###

Best days

It's the last day of the year and I am still knee-deep in shit (aka work). In fact, fuck, the shit is getting higher and soon, it will hit the bloody fan. Shit will splatter, trust me.

At 1800hrs, I "closed shop" and decided enough was enough. My brain stopped functioning and so I joined 3 of my students who happened to be in school to do some personal filming. We were in the "green" room and decided to let the camera run while we created original MTVs with the green screen at the background. The footages are now being edited. You guys must look out for the Kris Allen's No Boundaries (bootleg) MTV. It's going to be hilarious.

I also went extra crazy (or lame...whichever way you deem fit) and took out the graduation robe from my cupboard and brough it to the room. We did a scene off Harry Potter's Quidditch game, complete with a broom as Nimbus 2000 which I "borrowed" from the cleaning lady.



Almost shit myself laughing.
Watch out for the clip next year.
Heh.

Ahem.

Going Johor tomorrow to have some year end lunch with some good colleagues. Not going to party at night because you know...it's just not right. So, it will be a quiet one.

So...here's wishing everyeone a very happy new year. May 2010 be a better year in terms of success, happiness and most importantly, health.

We'll see you around.

###

Swing low sweet chariot

I have a very strong urge to:

 

(1) Play badminton (to commemorate my aunt who taught me how to play)

(2) Play basketball (I miss the feeling of ball through hoop)

(3) Swim in the open sea

(4) Learn boxing and punch the daylight out of something, preferably a 'pinata' of my boss

(6) Dance

 

 

Grr.

 

Anyway, watched Sherlock Holmes yesterday and being a Guy Ritchie-flick, it was AWESOME. Yes RDJ was uber scruffy-cool but man, I was out(Jude)lawed. Rachel McAdams (not a fan) was bleah as always but...Jude Law was damn fine.

 

So what's next?

Ah, Mandela!

 

###

Whatcha say

I thought I would break down and cry when I stepped into the office earlier but well..I've been kept damn busy by The Gulag. I havent really "cried it out"...except for the occasional tearing. I havent..you know...let it all out. I think I am too rational to do that. But crap..it's choking from the inside.

 

Anyway thanks all for the well-wishes. The burial ceremony and everything that led to it went fine. I went over to the auntie's at about 0300hrs on Monday and her body was already home. We all took turns to read the words of the holy verses and made the necessary arrangements. At 0900hrs, the person in-charged of cleaning the body came. I joined my aunties in the cleansing process and it was truly an eye-opener. I've always been afraid of funerals and such but participating in this "mandi mayat" (literally: showering of the corpse) made me further realise that there's nothing to be afraid of.

 

By the way, the whole proces is very respecful. No naked body is exposed, save for the hands, head and feet. I just wished the person who did it didnt have to talk so much. She would have been funny if there's no corpse in front of her. Oh well...I guess she was trying to make light of the dead air in the room (hah).

 

So yeah. I saw the auntie being prepared for the funeral. She looked so serene and peaceful and that was a good closure for me. After being prepared, the body was brought back to the living room where everyone (and there were so many people!) could see her for the last time. The sister broke down...causing everyone else to break down. This was the part where I also had to carry/pick up/comfort my relatives (young and old) who collapsed or broke down. Doing all that distracted me from bawling and going all crazy myself.

 

Haha.

I am amazing.

 

We boarded the chartered bus to the cemetery. With the casket at the back of the bus, it was an utterly sombre affair, I tell you. When they passed me the sarong batik used to cover her body in the casket as they lowered her body into the grave hole, woah...I couldnt take it. That was when the tears flowed. This was also the part where the cousin lost it. He had been steady all this while at his mother's demise but when he saw the body being placed in the ground, he lost it. He had to be supported by his father. My heart went out to him. What a year for him..PSLE, mother's escalating sicknes, PSLE results, preparation for secondary school and mother's death 4 days before he turns 12.

 

So that's how it ends, actually.

 

On Sunday, the father and I got home from the hospital at 1000hrs as I couldnt take it anymore. That morning, I was with the auntie from 0600hrs till then because my uncle had to leave for work. The father was resting outside and the mother accompanied me intermittently inside. The auntie was in a daze...alternating betwen being conscious and otherwise. She was in so much pain and she kept touching her head cause she was having terrible headaches. She was also pulling out the oxygen aid..so much so that that nurse gave her an oxygen mask. But she kept pulling that out too and in the end, I had to hold the mask to her face for almost 3 hours.

 

But there was one thing amazing/peculiar. At around 0700hrs, when the mother went out to take a break, the auntie spoke to me. She hadnt been speaking for a few days already and suddenly she asked me:

 

Shira..Shira (my sister) dah balik?

 

It was not loud but it was clear and fluent. I was like .. what? Of course, those were to be her last words. She didnt say anything else for the rest of the day, right to her passing on Sunday at 2340hrs. Maybe it was a coincidence but the sister and I were at home in our bedroom when she died and during the time of death, we smelled something funny in the room.

 

(I am sorry if the conversation sounded stupid but it did go like this)

 

Ed: Did you fart?

Sis: No, I didnt.

Ed: Why did you fart? So smelly!

 

The smell grew.

 

Sis: Ew! Did you fart?

Ed: No. Did YOU fart?

Sis: Woah so smelly!

Ed: (shouting outside the window in Malay, targeting the neighbours) Hey! Has it been 10 years since your last shit?

Sis: Walao eh!!

 

Then the sister went out to the kitchen to get some food and then the phone rang. She died.

 

 

 

###

She's gone

Inalillah wainaillaihi rajiun.

Rosnah Binte Misban
1960 - 2009


I love you, my dearest Bibik.


###

Survivor

It's past midnight and here I am, blogging at the hospital lounge area...in the dark. The auntie's blood pressure is just steadily falling but she is still struggling to fight and continue on.

Oh well.

I visited my newborn niece just now. Yes, finally...16 days after her birth. She looks so tiny. Ok..duh.

All right. I feel so out of touch with the social world. Havent me friend for 4 days. No time and no mood also. But nevertheless, I thank thee all for your kind wishes and support. Thank you for the prayers and words of encouragement. Much appreciated, seriously.

Ok..done.


###

Cry me out

There hasnt been much yummilicious food at home lately but today, on the day that I choose to fast (auspicious date), there is a bowl of bloody Indian Rojak in the kitchen.

Hoo haa..woosah.

The cousin stayed over last night as he followed me back home after spending the whole day at the hospital. Hats off to all the relatives who have been rallying at SGH, keeping vigil from morning to night, and then doing it again on the following day.

Yesterday at about 1530hrs, the auntie got out of her usual daze and began to hug everyone. It was...I dont know...a scene to behold. The sky turned dark and it began to pour just when she hugged the sister, the first person she hugged. The auntie held on to her so tightly. It was so sad cause both of them were very very close. Then one by one...all of us took our turn.

I dont know how many times I said goodbye. I felt bad for wishing her a safe journey but she's not leaving yet. I told her my piece on Thursday fearing she might not be able to make it but it's Saturday now and she's still in her critical stage. She survived her 24-hr deadline. Doctor said if she could do that, she would be able to have one more month but...look at her. SHE IS IN PAIN!

Anyway, I am beyond denial, anger and depression. I have come to acceptance and it is quite a beautiful place. It's just that now, I am very tired (heh, and hungry). But then, how tired can I be compared to my older aunties who have been at the hospital 20 hrs a day? How tired can I be compared to the uncle who has to run to work, run to hospital and run to take care of things for his son who is starting secondary school/teen life next week?

How tired can you be, Ed?

Haha, no.
Not at all.


P/S: There were times when I wanted to read some holy verses to the auntie and I got distracted as she struggled to stay alive. For some strange reasons, the only verses I could remember was prayers to eat (doa makan).

###

God rest ye merry gentlemen

It has been 12 hours since my previous entry. I just got home from the hospital. It has been physically and emotionally draining and I dont know what to hope for anymore.

But I do know one thing. I do know if she were to go, her soul would probably be at a better place right now.

Am brewing a major headache and super bloodshot eyes. Throughout the bedside vigil, sinus issues attacked again (this has been acting quite recently lately) and I stood there making sure that both my eyes and nose dont run.

The truth sucked. Doctor gave her 24 hours to live. That means her deadline is 2000hrs tonight. Of course this is the doctor's prediction and we know the truth can come sooner or later.

Anyway just want to say I made my peace. I have told her that I love her, I thanked her for her love and care and I assured her that I would help to look after her son (my cousin) the best way I know how. Told her everything would be okay and that we would get by when she's gone. Told her we would always love her and that there's nothing to worry about. She nodded.

Okay my eyes are failing me. Need to get some quick sleep before rushing to hospital again.


##.

Silver bells

1 hour ago the world seemed fine. I watched Santa Clause on TV and the mother came home with food. Then, 15 minutes ago we received a phone call and the auntie is in a higly critical condition.

We're off to the hospital now. To those who believe it is a season of joy and miracle, do pray for the best. I am not sure if I should pray for health or painless exit but I know my Allah knows best.

We'll accept.

###

If it kills me

Pardon me for being a little bit sappy. It's the time of the year maybe. Hey be thankful that I am not putting clips after clips of my most favourite love stories, okay.

Anyway, here's Mraz to usher in my 'lepak' mode. I would really love to say that the following song is about me pining for someone (a friend, acquaintance or anything) but sadly, there's no one whom I can "dedicate" this to. It's damn rare that I dont have someone in mind...a crush or anything like that. It's so boring. I miss having a crush.

Okay lah Lauren...this is for you. Wahahahaha.



Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Cause you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

Well how long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all

Baby there's a lot that I miss
In case I'm wrong

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said I would
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me
It's a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me


P/S: Just kill me already.

P/P/S: I love you, Mraz. Does this count?


###

Come all ye faithful

ALAMAK!!

 

Was supposed to fast for half a day...to train for the coming Saturday fast (some auspicious Muslim date - 9th Muharram). Obviously I forgot. Had turkey bacon sandwich for breakfast at 0900hrs and then ayam penyet for lunch at 1400hrs.

 

Crap.

Epic fail.

 

 

###

Belle of the boulevard

Just realised that I am not working tomorrow. Forgot that the company had "forced" us to take the morning 1/2 day off, with the second part of the day given free. Am not scheduled to work on Saturday also.

 

So I have 4 days off and..doo doo doo..no plans.

 

I see myself surrounded by books over the bloody weekend.

 

I need to finish 2 textbooks (which is impossible to do over the weekend. I need one more year!) and one academic journal.

 

Merry effing Christmas.

 

 

P/S: But tonight, we'll do a karaoke!

 

 

###

Memento mori

 

Cras amet qui nunquam amavit; quique amavit, cras amet.

Amen.

 

 

May he love tomorrow who has never loved before;

And may he who has loved, love tomorrow as well.

 

 

###

Beautiful disaster

I havent got the strength to play Wii...dont have the chance to get the TV also. So what do I do?

Well this is the next best thing.

(Air) Guitar Hero.




Love this song.


P/S: AVATAR was awesome man!!!!! I can go in depth and talk about its socio-political relevance and all that mambo-jumbo but I'm not going to do that because truth be told...storyline-wise, it's just like another episode of Captain Planet. But the ingenuity behind all the technology is ..wow..mind-boggling. I'm not worthy, James Cameron!


###

It's not unusual

I am dead beat. It's slightly past 2000hrs and I am going home from the ofice, barely with a lunch today. Work is always a pile of mess but...I am slowly completing it before the year ends.

 

Right...who am I kidding.

 

Sigh.

 

 

###

Laskar pelangi

Am marking like crazy.

 

Headache.

 

Migraine.

 

Died.

 

 

 

###

It has been quite a while. Been feeling the pits for the past week. Took leave on Monday...the company's medical card couldnt even cover the cost of the clinic visit. As I was waiting for my turn among the sea of sick people, I got even sicker from their virus. When I got the bill, I wanted to die there and then.

Planned to go Escape Theme Park today with some students but it rained so heavily we had to shelf it. Stayed at work till 1730hrs, granted I came 2 hrs late at 1100hrs. Went out with Lauren last night and when she sent me home, i stumbled my way home like a drunkard. Had a really really terrible headache on the way home.

Talking about headache, I have been having this really biting headaches for the past week. I assume it's migraine (I dont know how migraine is like cause no one told me I have it) cause the headaches are really damn one kind. Been wanting to pass out for the past few days. So anyway, last night, when I eventually found my way home, I immediately passed out without showering and setting my alarm clock for work.

Oooh my head. Can feel the headache is coming. Maybe it's the medicine doing its trick, asking me to rest. Will try to sit through the Fulham-Man U match before calling it a day.

P/S: The headache is affecting my eyes...maybe this is a sign of worse things to come.

###

No regrets

I am still tired, still on meds (though in declining dosage and frequency) and still swamped with work. I only have time to reminisce this before I hit the bed.

I shall sum this year with this song.




"No regrets
Tey don't work
No regrets
They only hurt
Sing me a love song
Drop me a line
Suppose it's just a point of view
But they tell me I'm doing fine"

The mother mentioned something about being tired, needing a break, why am I not on a school holiday...yada yada. Mother, I dont know. I am very tired, Mother. We can take a break next year. Hang on in there.


###

Allah Hoo

So much for wishing for the year to end.

Right now, I am drowning in a sea of crap known as "Work" and I need December to stretch itself so that I can complete all the nonsense before the year ends.

And talking about year, tomorrow is 1 Muharram, the Muslim New Year.

Muharram is one of 4 holy months of the year in which fighting is banned. Some Muslims fast during these days. Sunni Muslims also fast during Muharram and on either the ninth or the eleventh day, the choice of which additional day being at the discretion of the individual.

The Day of Ashura is on the 10th day of Muharram in the Islamic calendar and marks the climax of the Remembrance of Muharram. Sunni Muslims (some...not well credited here) believe that Moses fasted on that day to express gratitude to God for liberation of Israelites from Egypt. According to Sunni Muslim tradition, Muhammad fasted on this day and asked other people to fast.

So, happy new year, fellow Muslims.


###

Away in the manger

- I am swamped with work.

 

- I havent even met my new niece, Nur Emma Natalia...who was born on the sister's birthday - 10th Dec.

 

- My last movie is still Zombieland.

 

- I havent got the energy and strength to clean my toilet.

 

- I havent got well. In fact, I've resigned to the fact that I will end the year in abject misery and disease.

 

- My throat is going crazy. Everything tastes either too salty or too bitter. Bloody medication.

 

- I am getting broke.

 

- I have started singing and talking randomly at work.

 

- Did I mention everything taste so salty? EVERYTHING IS SO SALTY!

 

 

###

Zhen de ai ni

It was A-Go-Go's birthday so I met her and JLo at work, did some work and we left for Dempsey at 1845hrs. CY2 joined us soon after, after her pole dance class. 3 hours later, we were at Cash Studio singing dance songs and croaking our way to horrid land.

We had 'Yap Ah Loy' joining us at KTV. Yap Ah Loy was a colleague who got close to A-Go-Go...how close? I dont know and I dont care. But yeah, he was there and A-Go-Go wanted to hitch him up with CY2 but A-Go-Go did such a bad job promoting him haha.

Anyway, this Ah Loy could only sing Cantonese songs (I know..). It was quite weird at first cause there we were belting out Gaga after Gaga, BEP and Beyonce after another and there he was singing Chi Lam's songs. Anyway, I told Ah Loy I could join him if he chose songs by Beyond. He did choose 2 - Hai Kuo Tian Kong and Amani.

"Yun nong ngor zei yat sun butt gei fong zong ngoi ji yao
Ya woui pa yao yat tin wui tit tou ououou oh noooo
Pui hei lieu loeuy seong
Soui yan dou hor yi
Na woui pa yao yat tin qit ngei gong ngor"

Forgive me for being wild and yearning for freedom
Yet fearing someday I might fall down (Ed: He did fall and die!)
To give up a dream isn't hard for everyone
Never mind if someday there's only you and me

Anyway, it made me gush over Wong Ka-Kui all over again. Gosh, his voice, his ideals and his words, they were so magical. If only he hadnt left us so soon...:(

I still miss you Ka-Kui and this may sound silly, may Allah bless your soul.






...and 6 more of these.

Sob.


###

Amani

Bloody idiots. How could we lose to Aston Villa...on home ground. Dammit, man.

Come on guys, it's almost mid season!

Love can move mountains

Ah..ah..choo!!

 

I cant live my life with constant flu and sinus, can I?

 

I rested. Enough? I dont know. Rest is never enough.

 

Nose, live your life be free.

 

 

 

P/S: Had a class barbecue session with the students last night and well, my firestarting skill has improved. Under 30 minutes...without help. Gosh, I sounded so lame.

 

P/P/S: Ismail and Tini are getting married tomorrow! Hooray!!

 

 

###

Zombie

ZOMBIELAND WAS AWESOME!!!!!!


I love the movie, man. Blood, gore, shockfest, nerdy boy (I like) and a tinge of romance. I love it!



###

Steam

Promotion.

 

With great powers, come great responsibilities.

 

All I wanted was to just be carefree.

 

Alas...

 

 

 

 

P/S: But I am thankful, God. Alhamdulillah.

 

 

###

Mr Wendal

Something kind of cool happened at work today but I cant make it official because no official declaration has been made. But yes, it's economically and (sigh) politically inclined.

Wait wait...dont jump into conclusions.

You never know how deep they are.

Just hang on for my official message, my fellow working class heroes.



###

When the children cry

Another one of 'us' again.

What's up with us Malay abusing children?

The irony is that we make so many of them.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man molested six young girls over eight months
By Ong Dai Lin, TODAY Posted: 09 December 2009 0700 hrs

SINGAPORE: The one-year-old girl was walking behind her mother along the common corridor when their male neighbour picked the toddler up and kissed her on the lips.

When the mother, who was pushing a pram and carrying a six-month-old baby, realised that her daughter was no longer walking behind her, she stopped and saw Salim Abdul Rahman, 49, kissing the child.

The girl's mother shouted at him to put her down. She filed a police report a month later.

On Tuesday, Salim pleaded guilty to outraging the modesty of six underaged girls over a period of eight months, starting with the toddler.

On June 25, he approached a nine-year-old girl who was walking home after attending a tuition class and asked her for directions to the market.

He insisted on getting her help, even though she said she did not know the way and wanted to go home.

Salim grabbed her hand and led her to a staircase landing at a block of flats, where he touched her private parts. He fled when the girl started to cry loudly.

A month later, Salim approached another nine-year-old girl to help him look for his house keys. He then took the girl to a staircase landing where he hugged her. The frightened girl said she wanted to go home, and he allowed her to leave.

For more, it's here:
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1023538/1/.html

Autumn leaves

I am too tired to even switch on Snow White when I get home.

 

Excuse me while I catch my breath.

 

 

 

P/S: Congratulations Tan Kay Hong and wife!

 

P/P/S: Mail and Tini...4 more days!!!!!

 

 

 

###

Meet me halfway

It's 2 months to my next travel destination and as usual, I like to keep things undecided till the end. A good reason is that Meiling, my travel mate, is going on her holiday next week to Denmark/Norway. We will only discuss stuff when she comes back on New Year's Day. Denmark and Norway...cool or what?!

Am planning 2 major holidays next year. The first will be in February during my Chinese New Year break. It's a toss between Vietnam and Nepal (yeah, been talking about it eversince I was 18!). I must also consider that I have to be back on the 20th of Feb (or early morning of the 21st the latest) because of our dear Sha's wedding. I definitely dont want to miss that one for the world.

The other one would probably be my much postponed trip with Lao Lee to Spain. That will be in th later half of the year, after funds have been recouped and tripled.

2010 sounds crazy already.


###

Cant fight this feeling

Not feeling at the top of the world.

Not that there are many who do in the first place.

 

Caught a chill in the train and had a sneezing fit in the office the whole morning. Right now, I have developed a headache from all that sneezing and a very uncomfortable feeling in my eyes. I dont think it's lack of sleep cause I had more than 5 hours of sleep last night. Things went fine until I got off the train and into the office.

 

Hmmm...maybe it's psychological.

Hah.

 

Pop 2 pills and ..zzzzzzzz.

 

 

P/S: Gulag has been asking me for weird stuff lately.

 

 

###

Bye bye love

6th Dec @ 0730hrs
Got back an hour ago. Am showered and clean...and I cant feel my legs

Oh went to Johor just. Got home at 2030hrs and left for Clarke Quay an hour later. Wowsa.

1030hrs
Niece dragged me out bed. We caught NEW MOON. I love it. Unfortunately, I love it more when R-Patz was not in the picture, that pale, six-packless vampire. Team Jacob!

1630hrs
To bed, to bed!

1730hrs
Argh...time to meet Meiling for another movie. Couples Retreat would have more meaning...if I have a partner. But I dont and I think it is just awrite for me (the movie)

2350hrs
Here I am wishing the weekend (and maybe the money) didnt have to end so soon. So many other stuff I still want to do (and buy).

###
##

Beyond here lies nothin'

The Grammy Awards nominees are out.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Record Of The Year
Halo - Beyoncé
I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon)
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Album Of The Year
I Am… Sasha Fierce - Beyoncé
The E.N.D. - The Black Eyed Peas
The Fame - Lady Gaga
Big Whiskey And The Groogrux King - Dave Matthews Band
Fearless - Taylor Swift

Song Of The Year
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Pretty Wings - Maxwell
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) - Beyoncé
Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Best New Artist
Zac Brown Band
Keri Hilson
MGMT
Silversun Pickups
The Ting Tings

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
Hometown Glory - Adele
Halo - Beyoncé
Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
Sober - Pink
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance
This Time - John Legend
Love You - Maxwell
Make It Mine - Jason Mraz
If You Don't Know Me By Now - Seal
All About The Love Again - Stevie Wonder

Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
We Weren't Born To Follow - Bon Jovi
Never Say Never - The Fray
Sara Smile - Daryl Hall & John Oates
Kids - MGMT

Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals
Sea Of Heartbreak - Rosanne Cash & Bruce Springsteen
Love Sex Magic - Ciara & Justin Timberlake
Lucky - Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat
Baby, It's Cold Outside - Willie Nelson & Norah Jones
Breathe - Taylor Swift & Colbie Caillat

Best Pop Vocal Album
The E.N.D. - The Black Eyed Peas
Breakthrough - Colbie Caillat
All I Ever Wanted - Kelly Clarkson
The Fray - The Fray
Funhouse - Pink

Best Dance Recording
Boom Boom Pow - The Black Eyed Peas
When Love Takes Over - David Guetta & Kelly Rowland
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Celebration - Madonna
Womanizer - Britney Spears

Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance
Beyond Here Lies Nothin' - Bob Dylan
Change In The Weather - John Fogerty
Dreamer - Prince
Working On A Dream - Bruce Springsteen
Fork In The Road - Neil Young

Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
Can't Find My Way Home - Eric Clapton & Steve Winwood
Life In Technicolor II - Coldplay
21 Guns - Green Day
Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon
I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight - U2

Best Rock Song
The Fixer (Pearl Jam)
I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight (U2)
21 Guns (Green Day)
Use Somebody (Kings Of Leon)
Working On A Dream (Bruce Springsteen)

Best Rock Album
Black Ice - AC/DC
Live From Madison Square Garden - Eric Clapton & Steve Winwood
21st Century Breakdown - Green Day
Big Whiskey And The Groogrux King - Dave Matthews Band
No Line On The Horizon - U2

Best Alternative Music Album
Everything That Happens Will Happen Today - David Byrne & Brian Eno
The Open Door - Death Cab For Cutie
Sounds Of The Universe - Depeche Mode
Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix - Phoenix
It's Blitz! - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) - Beyoncé
It Kills Me - Melanie Fiona
That Was Then - Lalah Hathaway
Goin' Thru Changes - Ledisi
Lions, Tigers & Bears - Jazmine Sullivan

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance
The Point Of It All - Anthony Hamilton
Pretty Wings - Maxwell
Sobeautiful - Musiq Soulchild
Under - Pleasure P
There Goes My Baby - Charlie Wilson

Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
Blame It - Jamie Foxx & T-Pain
Chocolate High - India.Arie & Musiq Soulchild
Ifuleave - Musiq Soulchild & Mary J. Blige
Higher Ground - Robert Randolph & The Clark Sisters
Love Has Finally Come At Last - Calvin Richardson & Ann Nesby

Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance
At Last - Beyoncé
Soul Music - Anthony Hamilton
Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight - Boney James & Quinn
Sow Love - Ann Nesby
Woman Gotta Have It - Calvin Richardson

Best Urban/Alternative Performance
Daykeeper - The Foreign Exchange
All Matter - Robert Glasper & Bilal
Pearls - India.Arie & Dobet Gnahore
A Tale Of Two - Eric Roberson, Ben O'Neill & Michelle Thompson
Blend - Tonex

Best R&B Song
Blame It (Jamie Foxx & T-Pain)
Lions, Tigers & Bears (Jazmine Sullivan)
Pretty Wings (Maxwell)
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) (Beyoncé)
Track from: I Am… Sasha Fierce
Under (Pleasure P)

Best R&B Album
The Point Of It All - Anthony Hamilton
Testimony: Vol. 2, Love & Politics - India.Arie
Turn Me Loose - Ledisi
Blacksummers' Night - Maxwell
Uncle Charlie - Charlie Wilson

Best Contemporary R&B Album
I Am… Sasha Fierce-Beyoncé
Intuition-Jamie Foxx
The Introduction Of Marcus Cooper-Pleasure P
Ready-Trey Songz
Thr33 Ringz-T-Pain

Best Rap Solo Performance
Best I Ever Had-Drake
Beautiful-Eminem
D.O.A. (Death Of Auto-Tune)-Jay-Z
Day 'N' Nite-Kid Cudi
Casa Bey-Mos Def

Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group
Too Many Rappers-Beastie Boys & Nas
Crack A Bottle-Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent
Money Goes, Honey Stay-Fabolous & Jay-Z
Make Her Say-Kid Cudi, Kanye West & Common
Amazing-Kanye West & Young Jeezy

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
Ego-Beyoncé & Kanye West
Knock You Down-Keri Hilson, Kanye West & Ne-Yo
Run This Town-Jay-Z, Rihanna & Kanye West
I'm On A Boat-The Lonely Island & T-Pain
Dead And Gone-T.I. & Justin Timberlake

Best Rap Song
Best I Ever Had (Drake)
Day 'N' Nite (Kid Cudi)
Dead And Gone (T.I. & Justin Timberlake)
Track from: Paper Trail
D.O.A. (Death Of Auto-Tune) (Jay-Z)
Run This Town (Jay-Z, Rihanna & Kanye West)

Best Rap Album
Universal Mind Control-Common
Relapse-Eminem
R.O.O.T.S.-Flo Rida
The Ecstatic-Mos Def
The Renaissance-Q-Tip

Best Female Country Vocal Performance
Dead Flowers-Miranda Lambert
I Just Call You Mine-Martina McBride
White Horse-Taylor Swift
Just A Dream-Carrie Underwood
Solitary Thinkin'-Lee Ann Womack

Best Male Country Vocal Performance
All I Ask For Anymore-Trace Adkins
People Are Crazy-Billy Currington
High Cost Of Living-Jamey Johnson
Living For The Night-George Strait
Sweet Thing-Keith Urban

Best Country Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
Cowgirls Don't Cry-Brooks & Dunn
Chicken Fried-Zac Brown Band
I Run To You-Lady Antebellum
Here Comes Goodbye-Rascal Flatts
It Happens-Sugarland

Best Country Collaboration With Vocals
Beautiful World-Dierks Bentley & Patty Griffin
Down The Road-Kenny Chesney & Mac McAnally
Start A Band-Brad Paisley & Keith Urban
I Told You So-Carrie Underwood & Randy Travis
Everything But Quits-Lee Ann Womack & George Strait

Best Country Song
All I Ask For Anymore (Trace Adkins)
High Cost Of Living (Jamey Johnson)
I Run To You (Lady Antebellum)
Track from: Lady Antebellum
People Are Crazy (Billy Currington)
White Horse (Taylor Swift)

Best Country Album
The Foundation-Zac Brown Band
Twang-George Strait
Fearless-Taylor Swift
Defying Gravity-Keith Urban
Call Me Crazy-Lee Ann Womack


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My hero

When there is a problem, everyone is quick to defend him or herself and pin the blame to somebody else. Normal stuff, right?

 

But I think I was 'man' enough to apologise today when everybody else didnt seem wanting to do so. I had to stop the emails and the concealed anger/frustration everyone was facing. Don't accuse me of being a doormat and apologise for the sake of it. I actually thought it was the logical and humble thing to do..get hold of the problem and move ahead. If they dont see it that way, it's okay. Only God knows how and why.

 

And I think I did okay - not only did I apologise, I broke the problem down and actually offered a solution. I thought that took a "smart man" to do it. Oh well.

 

Oh, a 'mentor' is leaving for greener pastures.

C'est la vie.

 

Too alarming now to talk about
Take your pictures down and shake it out
Truth or consequence, say it aloud
Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

Don't the best of them bleed it out
While the rest of them peter out
Truth or consequence, say it aloud
Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

Kudos my hero leaving all the best
You know my hero, the one that's on

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary - My Hero, Foo Fighters

 

 

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Devil woman

I survived on 2.5 hours today. I know it is not healthy because we all know everyone needs sleep to re-energise and repair one's body because night time (or should I say, wee hours in the morning) is the time for myself. I dont do much just light reading off the Internet and stuff but it's my time, you say. I am already clouded with deadlines at work and I dont want sleep to be my deadline of the day.

 

No...getting a night job will kill away my spacing-out time.

 

 

###

Death is not the end

I am very tired and very distracted. If there's a good time to do a sabbatical, it will be right now.

 

I spent my waking hours today at the hospital, accompanying the cancer-auntie and the cousin. I could see that the presence of her son and her niece cheered her up and that's good to know. She was more responsive today but it's still a depressing sight. She understood what we were trying to say but when it came to her to express herself, she could only point and gesticulate. It was like a very sad charade.

 

The oldest uncle came to visit around 1730hrs and an hour later, he offered to take the cousin home. When the cousin wanted to kiss his mother goodbye, she held on to his hand. She still wanted him to be by her side and so I went to the waiting room and told the uncle that the cousin would not be going off with him.

 

I told my auntie that I'd bring her son home. She then motioned something about me bringing the son to my place so that he could stay overnight at Ang Mo Kio. You see, my uncle (cancer-auntie's hubby) is on afternoon shift and would only be back at midnight and so, she's worried about her son being home alone.

 

At about 2000hrs, the sister, the cousin and I finally bade my auntie goodbye. Could see that she was reluctant to see us go. I couldnt bear to leave because it's still early (visiting time ends at 2030hrs) but I was so darn tired. The sister rode to Hougang while the cousin and I took the NEL train to Kovan and then took a bus to his place. The Hougang house was in a mess. Did a little chores here and there while the bloody idiotic cousin went straight to his computer game.

 

At 2330hrs, here I am, ending my day.

 

It's back to work tomorrow and you know what, my mind is really ... blank. I am so emotionally tired that there's nothing else occupying my brain except for the thoughts of her. Last night after tha Barca-Real Madrid match (around 0400hrs), I stayed up till around 0600hrs reading about signs of death. Call me morbid but I really want to prepare myself.

 

So now I know the signs of death.

And I begin to see all of them around me.

 

Gosh.

 

 

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