This is love...This is porn

Thanks to Jason, I’ve been reading her and her name is Daphne Teo and she was a former national swimmer…her national medal achievement was a bronze medal in the 200m breaststroke in the 19th SEA Games in Jakarta. Oh this obsessive shopaholic (with a very expensive and cool taste, I must say) was one of the participants in The New Paper New Face 2002. An oh oh, her boyfriend is cute.

Tsk tsk tsk.

You know who else is cute? Khairuddin Shaharom or Khai (ew!).


I met him this morning and he was wearing a red jacket so bright, it perked me up on a wet and lazy Wednesday morning. But hah, of course he didn’t know that I existed because I was sitting right at the top in the lecture theatre at ITE College @ Simei. I had an NDP media briefing and Khai (Ew! Ew!) was one of this year’s mcs for NDP. The rest are, as usual, Sharon Au, Gurmit Singh, Vernetta Lopez and NDP virgins Kym Ng and Adrian Pang.


My right wrist “cracked” as I lifted it away from the mouse. Thank God for left wrist.. otherwise I cant give handjobs anymore. Hahahaa! Um..right.


Went back home yesterday to catch the evening Chinese drama and met kakak at 2000hrs. Oh, she brought my future friend-in-law too. We went to McD to discuss some wedding stuff and just chatted. Got to know the boyfriend a bit more and stuff. When he left, we continued to stay there and we teased Johnny, this McD staff who has been working there since I was 14. We called his name and then we both ducked and broke into heaps of giggles when he turned around. Whenever I stepped into McD, I’m 14 all over again.

Anyway I asked.

Does he treat you nice? But, why the rush? Why December? Are you sure he’s the one? Can you picture yourself in love forever? Does he treat you good? Is he going to remove the tattoos? Does he smoke? Does he drink? Can he take care of you? The age gap…are you really sure? How are you going to survive? You prepare to go through thick and thin with him? How did he pop the question? How do you know he’s the one? Why so fast?

“People won’t understand.”
“I can feel something special.”
“He’s different from the rest.”

Girlfriend, I heard that last line a few times before he came along.

However…

She understood that I wasn’t putting him down. I was just worried. I am sure he’s a nice guy. I am just worried that he’s too young and naïve. But anyway, you gave me your honest (I hope) answers and convincing or not, I have to respect your decisions and try to help you in every human way that I can. I hope he accepts me as a friend and we both can learn about life from each other.

I think the next time I meet him, it will be his turn to be “interrogated”. She has gone through so much and I just want to know that she will be looked after, pampered and loved. I am sorry for doing this but she is my greatest friend. No. She is beyond great..or best friend. She’s an uber-good friend…in fact, it’s not longer friendship, it’s blood.


Yeah..we are more Bert and Ernie, rather than Paris and Nicole.

Anyway, I just wish you guys have a great life ahead together, no matter what. I am wishing you a bit more good luck cause her family is..man..different. However, I think they like you so do stay in their good books. We’ll work towards December and hey, if any plans or issues pertaining to the wedding planning come up, update me.

I am getting the hang of this wedding planning shit.

Anyway just now…earlier in the day…I had an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu on the bus and the MRT. Nostalgic, retro and colourful. I just want to succumb to it all over again and savour those moments again. But I know I have to move on because if not, I know I can never forgive myself.

But you know how hard it is to fight old demons of the dark side, right?
However, I have to do it. To fight.
I have no choice so God help me.

Come all ye lost
Dive into moss
And hope
That my sanity covers the cost
To remove the stain of my love
In paper mache

Come all ye reborn
Blow off my horn
I'm driving real hard
This is love
This is porn
God will forgive me
But I...
I whip myself in scorn, scorn

I wanna hear
What you have to say about me
Hear...
If you're gonna live without me
I wanna hear what you want
I remember December
And I wanna hear
What you have to say about me
Hear...
If you're gonna live without me
I wanna hear what you want
What the hell do you want? - I Remember, Damien Rice

Indeed. I remember a December long long time ago. It then ended sadly.


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