Red

Even my grandma who's bed bound scored tonight.

Woohoo!!!

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Barely breathing

ESPNsoccernet: Soccer Hargreaves offered to play for free

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Foolish beat

...

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Daughter

Stop asking me about the sister. I have unofficially disowned her. I dont have a sister.

I do have a room mate who takes my stuff and leaves a mess wherever she's around. I seldom see her and maybe if I do see her next, I want to demand my stuff back.

Let me say this again...I dont have a sister. Cause if I have one, I wouldnt have felt so emotionally stressed right now.

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What child is this?

It's 3 days to Raya and parents are having cold war. They had a massive fight over the mother accidentally withdrawing some money in their joint account (cause her new debit card linked that acct to mastercard) instead of her own account. She didnt realise the oversight and insisted she didnt know anything about the money and the father...well he went to find the mother at her workplace (my cousin's food stall) and screamed at her in front of everybody.

Where are all my siblings?
Obviously the brother is busy with his own life and family.
Sister?
I dont have a sister.

As they are not talking to each other, like an only child, I am the venting point. I am getting the father's verbal abuse and the mother's emotional blackmail. Every...freaking...time.

Pardon me when I still say that marriage is a scam.

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Glasses

Every Hari Raya old things disappear...

...new ones will replace.

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Andai ku tahu

I was never a fan of Ungu...dont even know their songs until this one came along.

This is awesome.

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Ring ding dong

Manchester United draw Benfica in Champions League group stage - Goal.com

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Thank you for loving me

It's Teachers' Day next week and for the first time in 5 years...I'm not part of it.

This feeling sucks so bad right now.

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Samson

More sappy tunes.



You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of Wonderbread
And went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us
And the Bible didn't mention us
The Bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first , I loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But they're just old light
They're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light
He told me that I'd done all right
And kissed me until the morning light, the morning light
And he kissed me until the morning light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of Wonderbread
And went right back to bed
We couldn't break the columns down
No, we couldn't destroy a single one
And the history books forgot about us
And the Bible didn't mention us
Not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first


###

Ku Pinang Kau Dengan Bismillah

I listen to sappy songs when I am sick...

...and this is beautiful.


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Very ape

Angry.

Angsty.

Work desk...damn you.

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Ayat-ayat cinta

I dont feel good.
Flu.

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Deep forest

Why...why...why in the name of Marvelo Superheroes did I consume that herbal concotion (jamu) given to me by this actor yesterday?

It's 3am and my breath smells like MacRitchie after a downpour. It's saving Gaia in my mouth. Ferngully!

I am running a wellness segment for the October issue and I interviewed the actor cause though he's 51, he looks like he's in his 30s. So last Saturday, we had the interview and the photoshoot (before the Malayasian stars came) and he brought his supplements and veggies/plants. He even brought a sample of his blended weapon (mixture of veggies and plants) for the shoot. He then passed it to me after the shoot for souvenir...and hey!

It's suppose to cleanse the colon and detox. I dont know...just a sip. It' s enough.

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Kiss me

Thanks to a friend who sold this to me. Have yet to pay him...erks.

Koh Samui.

<3

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Kenangan terindah

One of my favourite Hari Raya songs.

:)


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Blue daba dee

Good morning, Sunday!


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Pretty girl

One of Malaysia's hottest babes, Lisa Surihani, was in the studio just now. My photographer said her cheeks were like chipmunk's.

P/S: Pardon my rabbit teeth.

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Too hot

 

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

 

 

Happy Friday :)

 

 

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Rock & roll star

"People keep saying, 'Oh, it'll be great to get out of your comfort zone.' " he says. "It's like, 'Fuck you!' Get out of your fucking comfort zone! It fucking took me 20 years to build a comfort zone. I have no fucking intention of stepping outside of mine. Not for no fucker. That's fucking gone! Fucking comfort zone bastard. I'm in the process of building another one and believe you me, I won't be stepping outside of this one."

...only by Noel Gallagher.

Love him.


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Kenangan Hari Raya

Waaah..there's free ang pows (blue pows, rather). No need to buy.

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The famous Shammi Kapoor - Yahooo, Chahe Koi Mujhe Jangalee Kahe - Junglee

Shammi Kapoor passed away recently. He was my first Bollywood hero and till today, I havent liked another as much as I like him. He's so vibrant...so flamboyant. A 'jungalee'.

Chahe koi mujhe jungalee ka hei.
Yaaaaaaahoooo.


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Cuts like a knife

Uploading fom my phone...think photo went sideways.

Anyway...next week I think I shall chop my hair. Am done with this Hagrid-do.

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All around the world

Is it time to walk this earth again?

Is it time to go back to ancient history?

Is it time for Roma?

Bellisimo.

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Show me love

No one can say "Happy birthday!" better than these Siamese ladies.

To my August babies.

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Gravity

It's 0630 and am waiting for flight to KL. Am with my parents and thank God...it's just for a day.

Think I havent got enough ringgits.


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I love you I do

I have been craving for this for so long.

Puncak's Hotplate Chicken Noodle down at Far East Plaza.

Mulakan dengan Bismillah.

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Moves like Jagger

I dont really find Adam Levine sexy. His voice is definitely paper thin, shrill and has that annoying whining aspect about it. But, he's fortunate to always have good tunes to boost whatever he lacks.

Like this one.
It's uber infectious.
And I dont even like Jagger.

I'm a Beatle.

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Little Miss Muffet

Sahur!!

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Nobody's perfect

A week of Ramadan has passed. Lost 2kgs. That's nothing compared to the rest of the bulk really.

Anyway, just when I am ready to sit in front of Mandela (the laptop), the home internet connection refuses to hook up. Stupid technology. Therefore, what is supposed to be an extraordinary update (nyeh!)...with epic pictures and all...will not be happening.

Bummer.

Went to catch The Lion King earlier today and omaigart...I was in tears from start to end. I am not a fan of the cartoon because for the love of me, I found it depressing when I first caught it at the cinema. But, Meiling wanted to catch the show at Marina Bay Sands and she actually treated me (cause she knew I wouldnt pay for it I guess) so I went along.

Verdict?

I enjoyed it tremendously but yes, it depressed the shit out of me still. I dont know why...dont ask.

A lot of things happened though many of them were work-related. Work still gives me the jitters even though it has been 2 months. Am trying to see the positive side...though the good thing is that I meet a lot of people.

The bad thing?
I do meet a lot people.
:(

Anyway been getting weird dreams of me getting married. Very disturbing..very bizarre. Let's see how long this gonna run.

No...I am not getting married in real life. The only guy who gets close to me is my graphic designer at work.

Boring.

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Skyscraper

;)

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No regrets

Sing me a love song, drop me a line. Suppose it's just a point of view, but it tells me I'm doing fine.

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Metal Mickey

Every mistake I've ever made has been re-hashed and then replayed as I got lost along the way.

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Killing of the flash boy

Day 4 of Ramadhan...eyebags starting to form.

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Suede Concert Setlist at Jisan Valley Rock Festival, Seoul on July 31, 2011 | setlist.fm

Suede Concert Setlist at Jisan Valley Rock Festival, Seoul on July 31, 2011 setlist.fm



:)

I'll be here

Though I havent really got the energy to go full blast on an entry, I just wanna wish a happy Ramadan to all Muslims and may it be a fulfilling one.

That aside...

Jing, Eileen and i went to Merchant Court Hotel on saturday and well...that hotel was so-so. More updates later. need to sleep again.

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Senyum lah ah hai cik mek molek

xWell...I remember wanting to blog but it's 0040hrs and I am beat. It was my cousin's weding over the weekend and well...family affair..bla bla and here I am, all hot and tired on my bed justifying my no-blogging days.

Many...many things I would like to blog...especially the photo fiaco and all. Still....right now I just want to sleep.

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Love...is a losing game

BBC News - Amy Winehouse found dead, aged 27

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Awan nano

Will update blog over the weekend but in the meantime, here's a photo of Siti Nurhaliza, my cousin and myself. I dragged her as my camera person to the recent Anugerah Planet Muzik 2011 because...well...most of the singers were not familiar to me and I needed someone to stand beside me (and tell me their names) when I had to do a "guerilla attack" and get quotes from them.

So...I thought the event was a tad draggy but...this shot, even though I stood far away from her, made the dread a little worthy.

      I said "a little".


P/S: Oh yeah...listening to Faizal Tahir live (yes I know Faizal Tahir) made staying till 0130hr slightly all right also. Just slightly.


###

Help

Tolong...

I love you like a love song

It's mid-week Wednesday. Dating plans are still non-existent. But...I'm glad I am not someone who always sticks to plans.

I attended the recording of the show last Friday and prior to that, I had a chance to interview a jazz singer. Oh my, she's so classy. I would love to chat longer with her at the photo studio...I am a jazz fan too so I really wanted to know more about her. However, my boss had given me a task and since we were running out of time (we had to get back to the TV theatre for the taping), I had to ask her the controversial questions regarding her marriage.

Maybe I am still new but my heart ached when I had to ask those questions. While my mouth was shooting the questions, my heart was screaming "Let her be! Who cares?" When she paused to reflect on answers, her face turned sad/pensive and I just wanted to stop. But of course, that's not my job. My job was to get news from her because, sadly, the demand for goss was huge. Also, I needed a paycheck, okay.

So this is how a gossip columnist feels. It's easy to accuse a paparazzi for not being ethical and all...but I guess they have a job to do and a demand to fill. I remember having the following conversation with the jazz singer:

Ed: So why didnt you address the marriage rumours?
Singer: What's the point? People will still find something wrong even if I said the truth.
Ed: But at least you tried to clear the air.
Singer: They will take what I said and twist it into something else. So I rather keep quiet.
Ed: But by keeping quiet, the rumours still grow. In fact, it's getting from bad to worse.
Singer: That's why I cant be bothered.
Ed: Your marriage is legal in the eyes of law and God. Why do you have to hide it?
Singer: I am not hiding it. I just dont discuss it.

Fair enough. I would have just stopped at that but I guess this wasnt enough for "investigative" journalism so I had to press on further. Wont put it here cause I still respect her privacy (naaaaah...am saving the scoop for my magazine, haha). But haha...nothing that juicy. I am a boring writer and I like hard truths. If my boss doesnt like it, I guess I have to find a new job on my 32nd birthday.

I think it does help to have a somewhat personable outlook in my line. For most of the people whom I had interviewed, they somewhat revealed more than what was required. Well, that is brilliant for me but sometimes I wish these people, especially the newbies, be very cautious with their comments. Sometimes, these will work against them in the future. Public speaking is very important so if you want to be famous, please please learn how to control your tongue even if it means giving boring answers. I just have to work harder to make the article more interesting but hey, at least both you and I wont have a guilty conscience.


###

Break even

Most of the time, the ones closest to you are the sources of your anger, frustrations and weariness. But I'll be damn...cause talking to strangers is seldom my thing.

I'll be more patient, if you promise to be less annoying.


###

Love don't (sic) cost a thing

Things I do...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwTBPKEM1KY&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Dim all the lights

My April issue is done and if nothing goes wrong, it will be out in the news stands in about 2 weeks' time. I don't think it's my best but I am glad that my first issue with the company ... well ... my duties, at least, went down without any glitches. I am now starting on my September issue and yes, it sounds crazy because the last time I checked, we just entered July. It's weird because my Ramadan issue is done and I am now starting on my Hari Raya when truth be told, I havent even done paying back last year's fast. My timeline is crazy and the stress is beginning again but I think deep down...I am beginning to love this.

 

Yes, this can get crazy but it is nothing compared to TooMuchCrapola crazy.

That was insane. I keep telling myself that when I woke up on shitty days.

 

Brief updates...

 

- MICA called and offered me a job. I turned it down.

- I have a crush on a man slightly younger than me. Doubt he knows I exist but..oh well.

- Will go to the live recording of Hari Raya show tomorrow.

- Will have to attend the music award show next week.

- Need to find this legendary Malay diva (who's probably in her 70s) and write a feature on her.

- Parent-less over the weekend cause they are holidaying in KL again.

- A 'sahur' event is coming up in August..will be going to children's home in the wee hours to eat with them in fasting month.

- There's a chance I might be meeting Siti Nurhaliza *prays*

 

That's my life in quick summary. 

 

What's yours?

 

 

 

P/S: I want to go on a date...like a real date (but dont ask me what a fake date is). Think I should be working on that. Hmm.

 

 

###

 

New generation / saturday night

One of my all time favourite bands is coming and...well, I know it's going to be on a day in the fasting month but...I've missed them so much. I caught them live in 1998 and they were fantastic. I want to see them again. Please!



It's like being 18 all over again.


P/S: I will terawih after that. I promise.


###

Will you marry me?

I forgot how sweet this movie was.



Thank you, Star Movies.


:)



###

Can't beat the feeling

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing...

...that's all the strength I can muster.

See you in the weekend.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with this awesome awesome awesome clip...the reason why I flew to Aussie last week.


You're my Queen, Kylie.
I love you.

She played at the local Indoor Stadium just now but because of work commitment, I had to pass. For some reason, I knew I had to go Perth to see her, see her last water show and all. Thank God I made it. Wouldnt risk it for the world.

I love you, Queen K :)


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Turning tables

Boarding plane home in a few minutes. It has been a nice break and it's a pity it has to end.

But I miss home too.

Welcome home, me.

###

An English man in New York...not quite

1230hrs alone in Perth City for the first time in years. Meiling just left and I left my stuff at Shari's place. Shari had some errands and I didnt want to impose so much so I walk and have a Korean meal on my own now.

Am listening to 2 convos - a Korean boy talking in English to a friend (who's possibly a Hong Konger) about his enlistment in the Korean army and life here. In front of me, 2 Chinese girls talking about what they are going to do in Mandarin. Guess my Mandarin skills are really useful in lonely times like this. Alone (without companion) but never truly alone (without society).

Okay...next stops - Myer, David Jones and just a roll about along Swan River if I am feeling adventurous.

P/S: Should have brought a bigger bag!!! There's a city-wide sale and it's craaaaaaaazy.

Must be talking to an angel

Saturday...5th day in perth and I am going to check out in 2 hours' time and crash at Shari's. Her pad is just down the road and so, will drag baggage (both emotional and physical) there.

The stay has been good - kylie..tourist bus...kingd park...fremantle..trip to margaret river etc. But weather has been depressing, with nasty rain and all yesterday. Still, a respite is good.

Awritey. Gonna hit some women fair with Shari and chill at "home" . Tomorrow i'll hit fremantle again on my own before flying home.

Have a good weekend, peeps.

###

Dirt road anthem

Leaving in an hour's time to the airport.



Back to Perth.

Will probably head down to the vineyards..Margaret River..chocchies factories or something. A cosy stay in the greens, probably. It's too cold to be breaking waves anyway.



Back home next Monday.

Be good.


###

Last Friday night (TGIF)

It has been a crazy week, man. Work is beginning to show its fangs and I think I am just not built for stress. Na-uh, not anymore. The previous company really broke me and I think I really need some serious timeout. Let's just hope it's Monday blues talking :(

Last Friday, I had 2 "chat" sessions with two local celebrities (somewhat, I guess? Depends on how you define fame, I guess). The first one was in the morning and we had a little photoshoot session in one of the studios. She's a nice girl whom I hope would not be eaten by big fishes in the industry. We had lunch together after that and I was quite surprised that the whole conversation with her went quite smoothly. My only problem now is to convert all these scribbles and sound recording into a malay article. FML, youngsters nowadays say. FML indeed.

Then in the late afternoon, I headed down to MBS to have my 2nd session. The interviewee was working at MBS and Coffee Bean was a convenient place for us (I just wanted to get out of office). She's another nice girl (or maybe, I see almost everyone as nice. Unless someone has done me wrong before, I guess) and I had a productive time talking to her. Again, the challenge now is to convert all the convos into a feature article. Come say those letters with me - F..M..L.

One thing I realised on Friday was that...no matter how the conversations were going, I tend to put in some advice to the people I was talking to. I am not sure if it's a good thing. I think it's a job hazard stemming from my previous employment as a lecturer. I just couldnt help myself from telling the interviewees (who both happened to be way younger than me)to take care of themselves, never let abuse them in any sense, yada yada. This was not a problem last Friday but man, I hope this doesnt happen if I were to interview someone who is more experienced or very well-known in the industry (like Siti Nurhaliza or some Western stars or something). Imagine telling Taufik Batisah that he should pursue his degree or something, just in case he falls out of the industry in the future. I can suggest TooMuchCrap to him..hahahahahahahahahahah.

Oh well.

It's back to work tomorrow and gah, I have seemingly endless tasks to source and write. It doesnt help that there are only 2 of us writers - the other one has been doing this for 10 years (in this particular magazine alone!). Though she and my editor have been nice, I cant help but feel so small, man. I dont think this feeling will go away so soon. After 4 years of doing something so familiar, a change in environment is nerve-wrecking. I cannot imagine someone who jumps ship after more than 10 years in one career. It must be crazy as hell.

BUT...

There's a silver lining. This Tuesday I will be leaving for Perth. Going out for a week. Good thing is that I can physically be somewhere far to recharge myself (somewhat). The downside is that...I'll be bringing work.

But then again, what's new? I have brought work all around the world with me - to the bright city lights of NYC, the freezing Himalayan region of Kashmir, India, to the gloomy Manchester, England. What's to Perth?

At least I'm going on a short break, my heart reassures.

Sure.



###

Ain't nobody

I survived Day 3 and today, I met my first Malaysian celebrity who had a duet song with a Singaporean girl group.



I thought it was kind of disastrous. Though I had questions ready, my iTouch failed to record the whole conversation due to low battery. I couldnt read my own scribblings ... which were all over my notepad. I hope I could still remember them when I go to work tomorrow.

Talking about work, overall, it has been very tiring so far. I am almost wiped out when I reached home and I could barely do anything else. Maybe it's just the mental fatigue I've been feeling from TooMuchCrap overflowing into my next phase. Hopefully my trip to Perth next week can help me unwind.

:)

Mentioning unwind, last Saturday, Jing, Eileen and I headed down to Shangri-La Rasa Sentosa for a little chill out session. We took the cable car, checked in, rolled around, had dinner, hung out at Cafe Del Mar and then soaked our tired feet in the hot tub.

On Sunday, I was awakened by Eileen's screaming. She woke up early and so she made hot tea and sat at the balcony drinking and eating popcorn. Then out of the blue, a monkey turned up and harassed up. She of course screamed, "Ed!!! Help me!!!"

I woke up bleary and confused. When I finally realised what happened, there was nothing for me to do. I could just do the "shoo monkey shoo" gesture but the bloody thing just stared at me. Eileen managed to crept back into the room and the monkey took the popcorn and made a mess at the balcony. I was actually quite traumatised, man!

Anyway...yeah that was my fun weekend. We caught Super 8...a really cool flick and eventually made our way home in the evening.

Ah..life.


###

This ain't Hawaii

On a less bleak note, this Saturday I'm going to spend the night at Rasa Sentosa!




Hmmm...I didnt know the water at Sentosa is green. The last time I was there, wasnt it as murky as the one below?



Still..what the hell! I just need to survive Friday.


###

Paranoia blues

6.5 more hours till I start a new chapter. I am nervous as hell. I also dont know what to wear and, on top of that, the mother took my normal go-to bag (just because she saw it lying around unused last week). I need my normal things to keep me normal. I cannot wear my usual work attire cause I dont think it will be suitable in a creative environment. I dont want to be the laughing stock who looks like a boss on her first day at work when she is just ... a writer.

Yeah tomorrow I am going to climb the Caldecott hill and embark on a new journey as a writer...in Malay. Fuck my life.

Wait.

It's "Jimak/senggama hidup ku"!

Okay. I know those words. Wonder if that helps.

Wish me luck, peeps!


###

That's it, I quit, I'm moving on

When the time has come for one to move on...



..one must leap out of here!



That's it, I quit, I'm moving on

When the time has come...

..for one to move on...

Add caption

Everlasting love

:)



###

Edge of glory

Almost 4 years ago, I had a stomachache on a Sunday, the eve of my first day of work in TooManyCracks. Haha, I managed to detect the entry and read it here.

Almost 4 years ago - July 30, 2007 - I started my journey with the current institution. I still remember my first day...my first boss, ScarFace, looked so intimidating. I remember being scared, uncomfortable (menses, bah!) and alone. I remember walking over to Raffles City's Starbucks and had Caramel Macchiato for lunch. That also started my 4-year affair with that drink. I remember things picking up cause I saw a former school mate working there too - Irda ("Idaho") - and things werent so bleak anymore.

I remember pace picked up speed and soon I was running from classroom to classroom, spreading words of wisdom to whoever who wanted to listen. I made friends, I played office politics and well, I won some, I lost some. For every praise I had from the management, there were other times I was called to be reprimanded. Some occasions it was my fault; my impatience, my sarcasm, my off-beat humour, my childlike-ness (fine, my childish-ness), my temper and my fuck-all political rebel attitude. Some times, it was uncalled for; bringing justice, voicing out opinions, speaking out for fellow colleagues or students.

Yes, I had my share of "alone-time" with the bosses.

Anyway..cut long story short....

IT'S MY LAST DAY AT THE SCHOOL TOMORROW.

I dont know if I should be happy or sad.


Bummer.


###

Man down

One of the rare times I actually like a Rihanna tune. This is dancehall swagger written all over it. But...who can I swag with? Never mind, just swag.




I would love to do a remix of this and Sean Paul/Sasha's Still In Love With You.


Maybe I'll do it in Perth.



###

Ocean deep

Man U lost to Barca at the of 90 minute: 1-3. Pedro, Messi and Villa scored for the Catalans while Rooney scored for the Pommies.

Yes I am a little sad but this was my dream final at the start of the season so yeah...dont have anything else to complain other than to comment how overwhelmed Man U players were in the game. I think fatigue has got to do with it...with some playing against Blackpool and Juve all within a week. But ah...excuses, we know.

The best team won and God bless you, Pep Guardiola.

To the next season!

###

Live like you were dying

30 minutes into the champions league final between Man united and Barcelona and the latter is leading by one goal to none, courtesy of Pedro. So far we have been playing poorly and hernandez seems a little overawed ... Goooooooalllll by Rooney!

Equalizer.

Different ball game now.

Okay bye!

###

You could be happy

28.
Tall.
Career in advertising.

But...but..one thing I cannot do well and that is flirting. Oh well.

*runs back and hides under a rock*


###

Super bass

You know, I didnt want to like this video. The first time I watched it, I was like..urgh, so demeaning. Then, the song got stuck in my head. I watched it the second time (and the many times after) and I fell in love with Nicki Minaj's...derriere.

So much for finding it demeaning.



So colourful. It's like the sexier version of the Oompa Loompas!!



###

Have A 3 Way

Season finale of Saturday Night Live featured Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga!!!







SNL havent been funny for a long time (post-Fey/Poehler) but I think this finale did it a little more justice.

JT should take up permanent residence.



P/S: Pirates of the Caribbean 4 was actually quite good!


###

Saying sorry

I heard the news about the passing of your father. I am sorry that you guys did not have the chance to mend the hurt. I am sorry that you could not see him for the last time because he disowned you as you chose to go with love instead of the terrible bindings dictated by society. I am sorry to know that the child in your womb would never meet his/her grandfather...or anyone else from your family. I am terribly sorry.

You were one of those challenging students a teacher would meet at least once in her lifetime. I mentored you in your Journalism class, listened to your woes during your internship stint with one of the most successful local publishing companies. I was there to witness your Monash convocation, standing side by side with your boyfriend Steve. I was happy for you but sad at the same time because your parents should be witnessing this happy moment.

All your life you had been vying for their attention. Alas, you were never good enough when compared to your 2 geniuses of a sister (they were both my tuition teachers in secondary school!). You were always the black sheep and eventually, you slipped away.

I dont condone severing family ties, cohabitation or having a child out of wedlock but you did what you had to do, I respect your decisions and I am thankful that despite all these, you keep me virtually close. Deep down, I admire your feistiness and your belief in fighting for love. I wish you all the love and the encouragement for you to sail through these tumultous waves of life. I wish you strength to go through the seasons of your life.



:)


P/S: Dixie Chicks' Landslide never fails to make me weep. The song reminds me of the fragility of womanhood and on the other hand, acknowledges the steely nature of the females.


P/P/S: Caught Micmacs and Biutiful over the weekend. The latter almost had me slitting my wrist. So depressing.



###

Hush

What does it feel like not to talk for a day? How important is it to have your voice heard? Would life go differently for you if you don't speak?

My good friend talks too much. I am not sure if it is because she really enjoys talking and sharing everything under the bloody hot sun with me or it is because she is uncomfortable with silence and therefore finds a dire need to fill in space with her voice and sometimes the talk of nothing. I would usually listen but frequently, I'd just switch off because the monologue would be about her colleague's daughter's dentist visit...her boss' holiday trip...bla bla bla.

Often, I caught my mind wondering off mid-rambling and I would scramble back on track with quizzical looks, nods of agreement or some hmms and ahs. I must be one of the most unresponsive women she must have encountered. At times I felt bad...most times I just looked at her and had this urged to grab her shoulders and screamed "Stop talking!"

I think silence is a huge problem for many. Still, incessant chatter drives me nut. I cannot imagine being stuck to a gibbering nutcase for hours. Just because you have a mouth, it doesnt mean everyone is interested in the things that may come out of it.

But my guilt lies in the friendship. I shouldnt be feeling irritated. Urgh.

I have been on dates where the men talked..and talked...and boy did they talk. In fact all of them were quite the talker. I guess that was also why none worked out. I was attracted to their thoughts and then, their thoughts got too loud and they began to fill my brain as noise. Some could have assumed my state of pensiveness as a go-ahead to keep on yapping..some thought I was an empty vessel who was waiting to be filled in with words. Some just found it hard to not talk about themselves.

Ah my...how did it get from noisy good friend to this?

You read this and may find these words as noise but being virtual, you can always choose to get away from this page. In real life...well..not that easy.

Sometimes you can find connection in silence. Sometimes being together in silnce is refreshing. Sometimes you have to give in to silence. Silence doesnt always mean disagreement. Silence doesnt have to be rebellion or stupidity..or ignorance.

Silence can be beautiful. It can be comforting. If you, like me, talk for a living, silence can be the best form of respite.

Now...where can I find someone who can understand that?


###

Set fire to the rain

Gladys, this is for you...

...my sad rendition of Adele's Rolling In The Deep, ya'll.

(Caution...turn the volume low, please.)



Pitchy. I really apologise for the horrible chorus but hey...it makes Adele look even better!


###

Illusion

One more month to see my Queen Kylie and this loyal subject is so, so, excited. So excited was she that she did a tribute.



Well, pardon the overindulgence but ... ah come on.
Lighten up a little.
Your disco needs you.


###

Afternoon delight

It's the weekend...first weekend upon tendering resignation/serving notice and wheeewooweeowwee (sorry Lil Wayne) it feels good.

The parents are going to Kuala Lumpur to ignite some 'halal' fire and get jiggy so that leaves me alone till Monday (the sister is seldom at home anyway). This is actually the best time to grab somebody and get funky on the table top, on the kitchen floor, on the couch...okay, not on my leather couch but yeah..get freaky.

But, of course, all these wont do for a Lone Ranger (or will they? hmm!) so I'll just be uber nerdy and play computer games and hog the TV till the cows come home.

Metaphor, people.
My parents aren't cows.
Moother.



:(


P/S: Just another pointless entry.


P/P/S: On the other hand, I've already signed a contract with the new company.


###

Take this job and shove it

I tendered my resignation at 1800hrs just now.

I feel like Liberace on stage.

:)



Revived!


###

Too hot to move, too hot to think

The weather is killing me. Took cab to work in the afternoon and then in the evening, I took cab to Peninsula Plaza for my evening class. The amount spent on cabs today is ... never mind.



"What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance" - Jane Austen.

You said it, sister!


###

It's alright ma (I'm only bleeding)

It's Mother's Day and well...Happy Mother's Day, mother.

###

Judas

MediaCorp is killing me.

The results are already out on Twitter. What the hell is MediaCorp doing? I am not uploading a result WITHOUT witnessing it myself.

Crap.

UPDATED AT 2357HRS:

1. Mountbatten SMC - PAP's Lim Biow Chuan (58.65% against NSP)

2. Bukit Panjang SMC - PAP's Teo Ho Pin (66.26% agasint SDP)

3. Radin Mas SMC - PAP's Sam Tan (67.11% against NSP)

4. Whampoa SMC - PAP's Heng Chee How (66.11% against NSP)

5. Moulmein-Kallang GRC - PAP (58.56% against WP)

6. Joo Chiat SMC - PAP's Charles Chong (51.01% against WP)

7. Hong Kah North SMC - PAP's AMy Khor (70.61% against SPP)

8. Marine Parade GRC - PAP (56.65% against NSP)

9. Hougang SMC - WP's Yaw Shin Leong (64.81% against PAP)

10. Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC - PAP (64.79% against SDA)

11. Tampines GRC - PAP (57.22% against NSP)

12. West Coast GRC - PAP (66.57% against RP)

13. Yuhua SMC - PAP's Grace Fu (66.87% against SDP)

14. Sengkang West SMC - PAP's Lam Pin Min (58.08% against WP)

15. AMK GRC - PAP (69.33% against RP)

16. Punggol East SMC - PAP's Michael Palmer (54.53% against SDA and WP)

17. Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC - PAP (56.94% against SPP)

18. East Coast GRC - PAP (54.83% against WP)

19. Pioneer SMC - PAP's Cedric Foo (60.73% against NSP)

20. Sembawang GRC - PAP (63.89% against SDP)

21. Nee Soon GRC - PAP (58.39% against WP)

22. Holland-Bukit Timah GRC - PAP (60.10% against SDP)

23. Choa Chu Kang GRC - PAP (61.2% against NSP)

24. Aljunied GRC - WP (54.71% against PAP)

25. Jurong GRC - PAP (66.96% against NSP)

26. Potong Pasir SMC - PAP's Sitoh Yi Pin (50.36% against SPP)


PAP - People's Action Party
NSP - National Solidarity Party
WP - Worker's Party
SDA - Singapore Democratic Alliance
SDP - Singapore Democratic Party
SPP - Singapore People's Party


This whole bloody thing ended at 0255hrs with PAP winning 81 seats and WP winning 6 seats.


###

Last night

Lol! Okay okay..last one.

This band, Az Yet, they made something so vulgar sound so ...smooth. But, the video...hahahahahhaacoughahahhahahcoughhahahgagahahah.



Such cheesy shots.


P/S: No..I'm not frisky. Just in the mood for something smooth.


###

Giving him something he can feel

Nothing screams "Wedding night!" louder than this. Okay..my wedding night at least, haha!



Delusions aside. This song is definitely up there in my sexy list. It's classy and seductive at the same time.

I like :)


###

I don't remember

I've been reading up on Kay Redfield Jamison because I think there's something not quite right with me lately.

"There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you're high it's tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one's marrow.

But, somewhere this changes.

The fast ideas are too fast, and there are far too many, overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friend's faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against.... you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and emerged totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality."

How...and where...do I start?


###

Mama he treats your daughter mean

3 more days to Mother's Day and I am just starting my scrapbooking project (aka Project Mayhem!) now.

0530hrs.

Yikes!!

I'm still in love with you

A conversation with a friend brought me to surf for some favourite old skool jams. I want to share a favourite back when I was 16 and nursing a very broken heart.



I was the only one I knew back then who loved this song. When we hung out at a friend's place to chill/karaoke, I was the only one who sang this while the rest did..whatever they were doing.

Listening back...hmm..sexy.


###

Remember the name

So yes, Barca managed to hold Real Madrid to a 1-1 draw yesterday and with a 0-2 aggregate in hand from the first leg, Barca will be going to Wembley for the Champions League final.

Tonight, we're going to know who Barca are going to meet. Please let it be Manchester United.



Wembley!
Wembley!
We're the famous Man United
And we're going to Wembley!


:)


P/S: Hope that goes through.


###

Party rock anthem

In an hour's time, the match which will determine who's going to the final Champions League play-off is going to start...EL CLASICO.



For the love of Messi, Villa and Guardiola, I hope it's Barca, even if it means they are going to meet beloved Manchester United in the final.

I love a good match.

Tonight it's Barca! Barca! Baaaaaaaaar-ca!


###

As the world ends

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. (Buddha)


I hope there's a deeper meaning to this, Buds.
I dont think how I can miss the workplace right now.


###

Everything is beautiful

I love you, Queen K!




###

The One

Your call is getting stronger, my dear Queen. I cannot wait.



I'm the one...
Love me
Love me
Love me
Love me


###

2,000 light years from home

I watched Rio and Thor on Sunday and they were good. Still, they did not move me as much as the flick I caught today - Duncan Jones' Source Code.



Damn it. This show is awesome..fantastic..beautiful. It made me cheer, weep (but then again, this is easy), fall into despair and ultimately, believe in second leases of life. Maybe I am exaggerating but damn it, I was really blown away.

Dear Jones, please continue to do what you are doing. Your previous offering - Moon is a mind-boggling favourite and if you can give me one more (just one more), I'll knight you as one of British new-age auteurs.

You can do it!


###

Love Love Love

You're love's a permanent distraction
A perfect interaction
A feeling so extreme
I lost my appetite to eat
And I barely get to sleep
Cause you're even in my dreams
And I thought that I was strong
But I knew that all along
This was out of my control
So I fell into your hands
And I don't know where we'll land,
I'm just going with the flow

:)


###

Dirty picture

By the way, after years of being camera-less (real camera...not one from a mobile phone or an mp3 player), I finally bought myself one. Courts was having some kind of sale and I just went in and bought something cheap.



Maybe I was just being paranoid but I felt the young salesgirl who was tending to me was kind of patronising. Sure, with only a $199 camera, how much commission can you get, right? But still...not everyone can afford a DSLR. In my case, not everyone wants a DSLR.

Okay..I do want it. If it's given to me free, that is. I had an SLR when I was 20 and it lasted me a good 4 years. However, I felt that I didnt make full use of it - too bulky to be brought out during Hari Raya, birthdays, outings, etc. In the end, memories were all snapped using my crappy phones.

Okay. Enough of being defensive. Ladies and gentlemen. I now have a proper camera to take pictures with. Best thing, it is small enough to be stored in my pocket.

Left pocket iTouch, right pocket camera, back pocket handphone.

P/S: If I can stuff my whole house in my pocket, I will.


###

Telling the world

I didnt like Taio Cruz's voice until this.



...and for some reason, Rio made me cry.

Something is wrong with me.


P/S: THOR was good but I dont feel the hype.



###

Go your own way

I feel apologetic towards the Mainland Chinese and Indians who are here on work and student permits. They have been dragged up left-right-centre during this election campaign...sometimes used as scapegoats.

I know many are here out of circumstances. I dont blame you. I just blame the government for not making your arrival smooth for us. Still, it's a democratic country and democracy breeds capitalism. At the end of the day, I know, it's all about the money.

This election is driving me bonkers. I do feel the PAP's strengths and I am very much aware of its achievements. Still, to have only 3 opposing voices in the current government (before dissolvement)is not a good thing. Sure, it is the minimum number in a democratic environment but we are not sure if these 3 voices are given enough "democratic" time - time to question, to oppose and to offer alternatives. We are not sure how strong are their voices during readings of bills. We are not sure how they are treated by the Party Whips and Leaders of the House. We are not sure if Abdullah Tarmugi had a neutral view towards them.

PAP have been with me for 31 years. The presence was felt when I first shook Lee Yock Suan's hand. He was an idol...my first Chinese hero. I knew him first before I knew Lee Kuan Yew. I grew up in a PAP system of meritocracy - where hard work was said to be rewarded. I worked hard but things didnt always fall in place. The system made me feel like a failure at the age of 12...failing to get into a top local school. I was sad throughout secondary school because I felt I missed out on a lot of things in life. I shouldnt feel that way, you know, but because of the education system, I felt so useless.

After diploma, I felt rejuvenated. I wanted to pursue my studies but then, I wasnt good enough for local universities. So I had to beg and borrow to pursue uni studies in Australia. My family wasnt rich but we felt that it was necessary for one of us to go away so that I could eke a better living upon graduation. My mom pawned whatever jewellery she had, my father borrowed heavily from his company. My father was a civil servant...I do appreciate govt's help but...on the other hand, they made money through interest. Bottomline is, PAP need to pay attention to the plight of the working class. I felt so helpless then.

I took politics as an elective in uni and from there I realised there were so many things wrong with our government but, I also found out that the problem was not just uniquely Singapore's, it was a global event.

Here comes my dilemma. After strong affiliation with PAP...only to fall out with it during my youth...I actually realised that it's not easy to please everyone. I began to see PAP's position. I studied the struggles and also the political history of democracy and found that democracy was expensive. I did a thesis on democracy being a farce and that, till today, had been my magnum opus.

If anyone were to be blame, I would blame the capitalists of the world but these capitalists were not chosen by us to make things right. We got our leaders and the least they could do was to stand up for us and make things less painful. Maybe the situation right now has been soothed by the government but we need to know that this is the best they can do and they have tried to make things ok. To me, all we need is a little transparency and some consideration for our feelings.

I can go on and on though I cannot guarantee it will all make sense. That's the problem when one is emotional. Some of these oppositions are good - they have good points and they have the residents' welfare in mind. Still, some use this election to incite hate. We dont want that. Ultimately, we want a cohesive parliament.

PAP, I thank you for your service. Your AUPE bursaries were something I looked forward to for 10 years of my life (primary and secondary). It did make me materialistic but...that's another story. I appreciate the lift you gave me and the fantastic AMK environment that you have created. My problem with you is that you have now grown arrogant. That's my beef with you.

And now...I must watch Arsenal versus Man United.

That's all.


###

Don't stop

Am following the Nomination Day updates on TV and online - going to be late for work and even contemplating half day.

Almost all seats are contested except those from Tanjong Pagar GRC. Apparently SDA were late in their filing of nomination papers.

Are you dumb? You had the whole morning to do this. No, you had a week to think about this and yet, you screwed this up.

How can I expect you to lead my country?

Epic fail.


*facepalm*


###

If you're happy and you know it

###

Friday

It's Friday...Friday...got to get down on Friday.

*slaps*

It's the Good Friday-Easter weekend and I've decided to fly out of town to Phuket. It's my first time there so yeah...am kind of excited.

Any form of respite is always good.




I've crossed deserts for miles
Swam water for time
Searching places to find
A piece of something to call mine
(I'm coming, I'm coming)
A piece of something to call mine
(I'm coming, coming closer to you)

Ran along many moors
Walked through many doors
The place where I wanna be
Is the place I can call mine
(I'm coming, I'm coming)
Is the place I can call mine
(I'm coming, coming closer to you)

I'm moving, I'm coming
Can you hear what I hear?
It's calling you my dear
Out of reach
(Take me to my beach)
I can hear it calling you
I'm coming, not drowning
Swimming closer to you

Have a good weekend, peeps.


P/S: I am excited about the May 7 General Election!!!



###

Where the wild roses grow

They call me The Wild Rose
But my name was Elisa Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Elisa Day

From the first day I saw her I knew she was the one
As she stared in my eyes and smiled
For her lips were the colour of the roses
They grew down the river, all bloody and wild

When he knocked on my door and entered the room
My trembling subsided in his sure embrace
He would be my first man, and with a careful hand
He wiped the tears that ran down my face

They call me The Wild Rose
But my name was Elisa Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Elisa Day

On the second day I brought her a flower
She was more beautiful than any woman I'd seen
I said, 'Do you know where the wild roses grow
So sweet and scarlet and free?'

On the second day he came with a single rose
Said: 'Will you give me your loss and your sorrow?'
I nodded my head, as I layed on the bed
He said, 'If I show you the roses will you follow?'

They call me The Wild Rose
But my name was Elisa Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Elisa Day

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me with a rock in his fist

On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow
And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief
As I kissed her goodbye, I said, 'All beauty must die'
And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth

They call me The Wild Rose
But my name was Elisa Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Elisa Day
For my name was Elisa Day

...

Pardon me. I am just feeling extremely melancholic.

Am I bipolar?

Hmmm.


###

Put yourself in my place

I can't take this situation
It's making me feel so blue
One moment you walked into my life
And now you're saying that we're through

I hear that you're in love now
Baby, don't know what to say
I can't believe that I still feel this way
I hear that you're in love now
Baby, don't know what to say
But before you decide
You won't be mine
Put yourself in my place

You know something will come around
You're gonna put yourself
(Put yourself) in my place
When your lovers bring you down
And there no-one else around
You're gonna put yourself
(Put yourself) in my place

There's no rhyme or reason
That keeps me playing along
I guess, that I'll just keep on believing
Inside you love will
Know right from wrong

I hear that you're in love now
Baby, don't know what to say
I can't believe that I still feel this way
I hear that you're in love now
Baby, don't know what to say
But before you decide
You won't be mine
Put yourself in my place

You know something will come around
You're gonna put yourself
(Put yourself) in my place
When your lovers bring you down
And there no-one else around
You're gonna put yourself
(Put yourself) in my place

...

I was 14 and we were in love.

Haha.

I think.


###

The lazy song

Finally, someone actually made a song about my post-30 adult life.



I cannot decide if I should bop my head or do a little jiggle.

Too lazy.



P/S: Still, I managed to watch 'Love And Other Pursuits' and 'Limitless' over the weekend. Those were the only reasons to get up (from slumber), get out (of bed) and err...get it on.

P/P/S: For some strange reasons, I ended up at Rupee Room on Friday (hey dont judge me). Then on Saturday, I got scratched on the face by a crazy ang moh lady down at Pump Room. What a poor girl to do!


###

Moaning

Jazz has always been my go-to music and I am so jubilant with this rendition. Ecstatic. Orgasmic. It moved me to tears and then, sheer bliss. All within minutes. Awesomeness...and then some.



Did I say it's awesome?

It's awesome.



###

He won't go

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark
Finally, I can see you crystal clear
Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare
See how I'll leave with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one on you and I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Make a home down there as mine sure won't be shared

The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside of your hands
But you played it with a beating

Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown

We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
It all, it all, it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hands
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hands

But you played it
You played it
You played it
You played it to the beat


...

Thank you, Adele.

###

Greatest man that ever lived

It's almost 0200hrs and I am up, waiting anxiously for the Champions' League quarter-finals return leg between Man United and Chelsea at Old Trafford. Happening at the same time will be Barcelona versus Shaktar Donesk. The second match saw Barca leading comfortably in the first leg. Man U managed to score one to Chelsea's goalless spell last week in Stamford Bridge.

As for tonight...
Am not gonna jinx it.
You can read it here.

Glory! Glory!

###

April come she will

9th of April was the father's birthday and yesterday, he turned 60.

Wow..dah tua.

Anyway, I got him an MP3 player - Creative Zen X-Fi Style. Hope he likes it.

Happy birthday, big guy!




###

April in Paris

...I wish.

It's 10 days into April and wow...my first this month. I am usually quite update-savvy with this blog but as you can see, 2011 has been slow here in blogosphere. It's not that I havent got much to say..au contraire, actually. It's just that these last few months, I havent even got time to even breathe properly sometimes.

Work used to be killing me softly but since the past few months, the slow road to a coroner's case file has been getting audible. Very audible.

I had an epiphany somewhere in February...one morning (must be around 3-4am) while I was on the verge of madness preparing for my Diploma and Uni classes...that if I were to continue to be in TooMuchCrap any longer, I would be a likely candidate for a heart attack and then I'd die in class. So yeah. That was it. From that day onwards, I began to look for a job like crazy.

Still the calls and responses were tepid. Back in January, I was offered a job at a publishing firm but I turned it down because (1) I wasnt feeling the location (@ MacPherson) and (2) I was actually excited to start my 2nd semester teaching students doing their degree with Hertfordshire. So yeah, I turned it down. Now...there's a little part of me which screams to me every day saying:

YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IT!

But ah, I think it's not my destiny yet. So I'll just keep on searching.

That doesnt mean I am putting less effort in my teaching. Never, okay. I have never..wait..there were some days..so let me re-phrase this. I always try not to compromise my students' education. I may be sleepless for days or tired like crazy but when the powerpoint comes on the white screen, the stage, or rather, classroom is mine. I'll own it.


Word.

P/S: Am going Phuket for a short break this Good Friday.

P/P/S: Am going to Perth in June to see Ms Kylie Minogue AND for a slightly longer break in June. Maybe I wont come back. Perth is always my to-go place when I need to think. And I badly need to think.


###