Maybe's I'm just too bold

The father’s pissed that I left my lappie on the kitchen table. Maybe it didn’t hit him that there is no other place for me to create an “office”. I want to move out.


Anyway my emergency ATM card broke into 3 pieces. * smack own head *


Breath it in and breath it out
And pass it on it's almost out
We're so creative and so much more
We're high above but on the floor
It's not a habit it's cool
I feel alive
If you don't have it
You’re on the other side

The deeper you stick it in your vein
The deeper the thoughts there's no more pain
I'm in heaven I'm a god
I'm everywhere I feel so hot
It's not a habit, it's cool
I feel alive
If you don't have it
You’re on the other side
I'm not an addict
Maybe that's a lie

It's over now, I'm cold, alone
I'm just a person on my own
Nothing means a thing to me
Oh, nothing means a thing to me
It's not a habit, it's cool
I feel alive
If you don't have it
You’re on the other side
I'm not an addict
Maybe that's a lie

Free me, leave me
Watch me as I'm going down
Free me, see me
Look at me I'm falling
And I'm falling.........

It is not a habit, it is cool
I feel alive I feel.......
It is not a habit, it is cool
I feel alive

It's not a habit, it's cool
I feel alive
If you don't have it
You’re on the other side
I'm not an addict
Maybe that's a lie

I'm not an addict
I'm not an addict
I'm not an addict - Not An Addict, K’s Choice


It’s Friday and I am still thinking.
Thinking about life…
And its surprises
Its disappointment
Its confusion
Its excitement
Its possibilities
Its opportunities
Its cynicism
Its bleeding contusion.

So many things are taking place in my life right now that I don’t even know where to pause, take a step back and analyse. There are times when I fall short of what I say I’m all about. I realise it’s going to be a crazy period from now till end of the year. Mentioning which…I am really looking forward to the end of the year. This crazy year has got to stop.


Sit and analyse, Ed.

Anyway..yeah..a lot of things are happening and I am caught in a whirl. My brain is like a ticking time bomb right now and it’s like I am going to get a haemorrhage or aneurism. Of course, this is not good. I am a fun person. I am not supposed to be so intense. I am a wild flower child spawned by hippie parents. I am not supposed to be full of melancholia.

Somehow life has a way of turning you into someone you are not. You have to grab that open door and jump. And who knows, it is love that is catching your fall.

Love is a burnin' thing,
And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of fire

I fell into a burnin' ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burn, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire (Ring Of Fire, Johnny Cash)


Mentioning that…I think I am close to forgetting how does this thing called love work.

A thousand times goodnight, pretty fairies on the wings of painted butterflies.

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