So you think you can offend?

It’s funny how erratic the winds of change can be. One moment you are loving yourself, feeling good cause you are among some nice friends and generally, nice people…the next thing there is this asshole who just brings you down to Ground Zero. This person (hmm..let’s just call him Alfian. Oh wait, that is his name) was talking about some great massage he had before (I wasn’t listening).

He mentioned to CY2 (cause only she bothered to listen) something about having one of the best massages in his life and said something about the masseuse being a very big woman. Then for no reason, he turned to me and said “No offence, Ed”.

No offence?

Just because you used “fat/big” to describe your masseuse, you thought I would be offended? I was like … what the fuck, dude? Why did you have to put me in your story? Cant you see I was having a nicer time chatting with Adrian and Weiqiang? If you wanted my attention, err...that wasnt really the right way, yes?

I gave him that puzzled – why-the-fuck-am-I-in-your-conversation kind of look. Obviously it didn’t hit him cause he continued on and on saying that the masseuse was big but Ed was bigger and went on and on with his story.

I was beginning to get ticked off. Not because I was offended that his masseuse was thinner than I was but like what the fuck? I am fat and I know it but I don’t feel sorry for myself you know. So why should I be offended at the mere mention? Why cant this asshole tell his uninteresting nobody-gives-a-shit story and be done with it? Why in the first place should I take offence just because his masseur was one fat woman? It’s not like I had wanted to give him a massage and he rejected me because I was fatter than the masseuse. Ew...and touch his body? Hayle naw!

Seriously…I could only shake my head and came up with acidic retorts…which saw me insulting his looks, his bony ass, his stupidity and his dorkiness. But of course, I presented it better. With a smile and a wink of course. And ah, and still had the rest eating at the palm of my hand.


23 years old.
Sheesh.
I didn’t know guys at 23 can be such assholes.
Oops-y, not offence Alfian!


No I didn’t mean it.
What I meant was…Go fuck yourself, Alfian…cause nobody will.

And ah…when you eventually get fucked
I hope it is by some diseased lard-ass of a woman.
Hey, maybe she can give you the best massage of your life

…and herpes.


Ew.

But ahahaha...totally deserving.


P/S: Fat..short...ugly..but ah, my friend, when I was your age, I didn’t have to worry about getting a diploma ……or a date.

P/P/S: Bitter? Who? Who is bitter? Angry? Offended? Me? Nawww…you don’t say.

P/P/S/S: Not afraid of lossing "friend", I see? No not afraid. Some are just not worth keeping. And besides I have a head count to think about.


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