Waiting on a Sunday afternoon
For what I read between the lines
Your lies
Feelin' like a hand in rusted shame
So do you laugh or does it cry
Reply
Leavin' on a southern train
Only yesterday you lied
Promises of what I seemed to be
Only watched the time go by
All of these things you said to me - Interstate Love Song, Stone Temple Pilot
Am back in the office after…a day hiatus.
No. I didn’t have a holiday or whatsoever. I was having some hormonal problems. Heh. However, I wonder if it’s just me…but I can be sick like forever until the day I decide to go to the doctor’s. Yesterday morning, the symptoms were reduced or gone…and I didn’t feel so shitty. What the hell right? Grrr…
CuteGayDoc: What? Hmm..Doesn’t sound good.
Me: Urgh…tell me about it.
CGD: Were you on some kind of medication?
M: No
CGD: Have you done any Pap Smear?
M: No (began to feel panicky and breathless)
CGD: Contraceptions? Contraceptive pills?
M: No (began fidgeting because I could totally guess the next question)
CGD: (with a damn straight gay face) Are you sexually active?
M: (grimacing) Ho hum..no? Ah no..no no. (Ed: It’s a resolute no. Don’t know why I was hesitant. Shy, maybe.)
CGD: I would like to give you a womb scan and a Pap Smear..but obviously we cant do it today.
M: Yes yes..just want to stop.
CGD: STOP IT???
M: Huh? (what did I say???) Oh I mean…it has to stop somehow, right??
CGD: Ah yes of course. I’ll give you some pills to be taken religiously. Once you’re okay, we’ll arrange for a scan. Okay, that’s all.
M: Oh ok..(still continue sitting there…trying to soak it all in)
CGD: Okay that’s all.
M: Oh ok..Thanks.
A scan? A pap smear?
Wanted to catch The Longest Yard after the check up. The showtime was at 1445hrs and it was only 1300hrs. I went home instead because I could feel something brewing up. The stomach discomfort was back and I needed to eat the pills pronto. Then it all came back and I had to keep on running to the loo. Damn frustrating. It was okay this morning! Anyway, slumped myself on the couch and watched Les Choristes again and teared again. When the boys sang, I felt a strong something which made me cry. Maybe it’s the tinge of longing in their voices.
Evening descended and there was no one at home. I met up with ML at the library…walking really slowly. Then I dragged her to KFC. One thing…my appetite has been fucked up lately and lately, I just felt like swallowing anything savoury and sinful. I knew I shouldn’t been chowing fried chickens, fries and especially cold gassy drink…but I had been in discomfort for too long. I really don’t care already.
Anyway…
You..yes, we did talk about you although the air was a bit languid already. We discussed all the “what’s-gonna-happen”s and well, in the end, the answer was a resounding whatever. Then we walked happily to NTUC to do grocery shopping. I guess…we just wished you well, then.
Sweet Suzie McNeil has officially left the building. It’s up to Mig, Marty and JD now…. Mig is my favourite but he’s more poppish and theatrical (wtfark..he’s Danny Zuko!), Marty is cool and scary (yeah great combo) but he’s better off doing solo and JD…not my favourite but I think he’s the best choice.
Welcome to the strangest party baby…these are the times.
Eurgh..yeah.
I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colours anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love, both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a newborn baby it just happens ev'ryday
I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and I must have it painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black
No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not forsee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the setting sun
My love will laugh with me before the morning comes
I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colours anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I wanna see your face painted black
Black as night, black as coal
Don't wanna see the sun
Flying high in the sky
I wanna see it painted
Painted, painted
Painted black - Paint It Black, Rolling Stones
It sounds like a Japanese seuperhero theme song. I like it. My dad was singing along to it. Okay, i like it less.
Anyway…Caught Sex & The City again last night. Note to self: Must really get a pair of Monolos before i die.
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